Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4379. page
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I have a question I have always wondered.
How do you position your dick when you shit?
When I shit I always need to pee so I need my dick inside the bowl in some way. But if I put it in the bowl it ALWAYS touched the side or dips in the water.
My routine
>Rub cheeks with hands due to cold seat
>Spread my cheeks with my hands for minimum contact with cheeks and turd
>Sit down quickly before cheeks come back together
>I then flip my balls on the seat and tuck my dick half under my thigh so it can pee into the bowl yet not touch it
It this normal? I feel so god dam autistic doing this for the last 25 years !!!
I have a small penis so it's not a problem :(
You want an honest good tip?
Learn to squat shit. Either use a stool or put your feet on the seat. It will solve both the problems of le touch and cheeks-shit contact.
>>27507652
good question op. I always find that sitting on the open frame is enough to automatically spread my buttcheeks so I dont have that much prep. And I hold my dick down with my left hand the whole time unless im there for too long
Is there really an age that women hit at some point where they have to settle for us? There's more women than men. If they all seek to pair off eventually surely some will HAVE to endure the loneliness we've had to endure right?
The problem is largely that you only go for the top ~30% of women.
If all of you losers cleaned yourselves up, and learned how to talk to girls, and approached 6/10 and unders on a regular basis, you'd be successful. Well, most of you. If you're deformed or something then maybe not.
Probably early thirties after theyve fucked everything.
>>27507594
dude you women need to lose weight as well. so many fat disgusting pigs in this country, how can anyone be attracted to anyone.
lose weight, stop acting like 12 year olds and take your head out of your ass, then we'll talk about us losers cleaning ourselves up.
>tfw dick touches toilet bowl when going for a shit
Man you average/small Bros don't know how easy you got it
>>27507534
>mfw op
My dick always touches under the bowl, I am disgusted by the amount of germs there must be under there
indeed. my dick is small and i'm lazy so i just pee sitted in the toilet.
Have you made any friends or acquaintances recently, /r9k/? Share your stories.
I got into Skype contact with Erica a few days ago and we got pretty close so far. She's honestly orbiting me to some degree though, but I don't mind, she's really cuteshe wanted me to say thateven though it's completely true, entertaining and most hilariously she's a lot smarter and mature than most of the angry manbabies on /r9k/.
Pic related; her looking cute as hell like usual.
Why aren't you posting autismtale pics today faggot?
how does she orbit you? i thought it goes the other way round
she's a jet engine that sucks in and burns attention
So I've been talking to this girl online since last month, we're really into each other and she's actually eager to meet me but but she lives pretty far away and is poor (I'm eurotrash, she's from India).
Should I pay for her plane ticket ?
NOT pic related, but looks like her
ask for a pic of her toilet
if she sends a photo of the street dump her
Ok lets get to the bottom of this
>have you seen her live?
either skype, or facetime or something?
>have you met any of her friends or family?
Like does she live at home and you have seen or heard them?
>do you have a way to get in contact with her all the time?
Not just through email or some retarded shit. Like kik, skype on her phone, viber, whatsapp?
>>27507488
I don't care if she defecates in paper bags and throw em out the windows, I just want to FUCK, man
Donald Trump is the manifestation of everything wrong with capitalism and inequality.
Basically he is the Anti-Christ.
He has multiple ex wives/mistresses who have his kids because he is wealthy while generations below him will die childless and young.
>>27507376
Thanks for your input, Berniecuck
>>27507376
>reddit wagecucks getting up this early to shitpost
Relgious fag here. Donald Trump is nothing like the anti christ. You're just throwing that buzzword around as an insult
He employs thousands of people. Thousands of people live and eat and support their families from his money that he pays them. He is an example of everything right with capitalism. He's incredibly successful and has done more in his life than you will ever dream of, why do you find a way to make success a bad thing? His kids are incredibly well spoken and polite and if you ever watch anything they do you can tell they're raised well.
Let's begin a Hispanic thread, si?
>>27507058
American reporting in.
>tfw more Spanish speakers than any country except for Mexico and Spain
>>27507058
>flags of spanish spesking countries
>Texas
God damn it. Leave us the fuck alone. Why does everyone think we're all mexican?
>>27507058
Name an uglier language than Spanish.
Protip: you cant
I bet theres more of her out there literally begging for beta cock. Probably one for every robot that visits /r9k/.
So whats stopping you from dating a 10/10 depressed KV fembot?
"KV"
I dont think you even know what that means.
good try, but if you read the article you would know she had a boyfriend when she killed herself, and probably many others before him
>>27506977
Kissless virgin.originaolsfnjisdbf
You know, I've heard rumors about this place, and I thought I'd give it a visit for myself. After surfing through the catalog for a while and peeking in a couple threads that piqued my interest, I've arrived at a conclusion.
Y'all are a bunch of do-nothing NEETs who have either abandoned the thought of getting with a 3d chick and spend their days jacking it to pirated eroge, or whine about women being total dipshits because they don't want to date someone who hasn't touched a toothbrush in 8 months and pisses in a bottle.
If you can prove to me that's not the case though, I'll gladly change my opinion of this festering shitsack you call a board.
Nice blogpost cuck faggot
I'm a computer programmer and work from home and haven't brushed my teeth in weeks and showered in 6 days
Office tomorrow so I gotta bring a packet of gum that's been sitting in my car for 4weeks and is probably melted to hide the pong
>>27506876
we actually have superior iq beause we've been tested at iqtest.net it's quite painful to interact with average iq people.
>he fell for the vagina meme when she has a chestpussy
r9k just gets gayer and gayer. Itd all about the boipucci desu xoxox
>>27506854
>he fell for the chest pussy meme when she has an ass pussy
>>27506854
Run me like a blade to and through the heart
What's the point of living? What's it all for?
It isn't "for" anything dumb shy you have to try and make something out of it but that isn't possible until you're around your mid twenties
>>27506661
>make something out of it
why?
>>27506689
If you don't then you'll be left behind to die, that's how civilization works
Sydney, Australia
Submitting application request for another robot who would like to help improve each other.
Must be within 45 minutes travelling distance from Burwood
I would like a robot with a strong desire and desperation to change/improve oneself, so we can work together on achieving that goal.
We will not be friends, we are there to help each other get out of robotdom snd ideally into chadom. Think of us as a team
MEETING IN PERSON WILL EVENTUALLY BE REQUIRED.
Firstly, i want to stress the relationship will be mutualistic, which means if i feel that you're not useful to me, well have to break things off, vice versa.
We are not friends. Think of it as a help me help you relationship. Again im not your friend, im not there to discuss your favourite chinese cartoons. We will more something akin to a team & partnership.
Everything we do must have a greater purpose e.g. I will not play video games with you if heres no greater purpose behind it. E.g.2. If you need get your eating habits right, i can help you with that.
We don't need a o be emotionally distant from each other, we can express our personality if we want, but always remember in the end were not friends. This thread isn't about looking for a friend.
I have to admit, this is getting tedious. For everyone wishing i would just fuck off and stop this shit, i will, eventually.
You post this every night fuck off most robots would rather a friend then whatever bullshit you want.
>>27506643
Then you're not a robot, youre a failed NORMALCUNT
Gfhh
>tfw met some girl
>tfw she started sending me Lewd things
Picture related, she wants photos of my cock but im nervous. She told me not to share the photos but whatever you guys are my brothers.
>>27506550
I know her, I'm gonna show her this, you're fucked
What the fuck Marcus this was a test I really wanted your meaty cock in my pussy but now you're never going to hear from me again.
>>27506550
THATS MY ONEITIS WHAT THE FUCK DELETE THIS WHY WOULD SHE DO THIS TO ME
> Famed Japanese author with no limbs confesses to 5 extramarital affairs as he prepares for political career
http://m.scmp.com/news/asia/east-asia/article/1931324/famed-japanese-author-no-limbs-confesses-5-extramarital-affairs
What's your excuse NOW?????
>>27505945
Bitches be crazy.
Also,
>famed
Japanese have fucked up fetishes. That should wouldn't fly where I'm from.
>famed
is the keyword
>starting a university group assignment
>i have to work with three strangers
>first meeting comes and only one other member turns up
>she is a top qt
>end up talking friendly --no work is going to get done
>talk about all sorts of crap
>the university cafe closes and we get kicked out
>"s-sorry for being so easily distracted, i don't really get to socialise because of the wheelchair"
>she wants to meet up at her parents house on friday evening to do the work we were supposed to do today
>"is there anything you don't eat? you might as well stay for dinner"
this is going to be how i die right?
i sweated the whole bus trip home
>>27505858
Just to be perfectly clear, she's in a wheelchair, right?
>>27506044
Yeah.
I have no excuse to have no social life.
>>27505858
>Not wanting a qt virgin wheelchair grill
