Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3141. page
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On your 10th cup of coffee already, wagecuck? That much coffee isn't good for you.
I don't drink coffee, soda, or energy drinks.
I find caffeine pills to be better
>>28441061
Thisis too much coffee.
Who here /phony coolguy/?
>be me
>be piss poor
>spend a lot of money on clothes
>bought a broken iPhone 6 on eBay and pretend to use it
>bought Audi car keys and flaunt them in public
>wear my sunglasses indoors
>make up elaborate stories about myself
Glad im not the only one tbqh man, this is probably more pathetic than just being poor
>>28441028
>>bought a broken iPhone 6 on eBay and pretend to use it
>>bought Audi car keys and flaunt them in public
>>wear my sunglasses indoors
>>make up elaborate stories about myself
that's fucking pathetic dude. and I'm a 23 KHHV balding NEET that weighs 330lbs.
This is shit that I will do, I just haven't done it yet
>saw a Chad today
>>28440984
And?
Chad's aren't that bad, they just were loved as children that's why they are confident and can get any pussy they want.
>>28441014
n-nothing, just reminded me how inferior I am
>See Chad
>Ponder what he is upto whilst watching him
I'm over the bitter jealousy, now I just feel intrigued into the oddity in comparison
See if anyone can top my story.
>be 22yo virgin
>meet girl thru FB, friend-of-a-friend
>we chat all the time, havent met in person though
>we decide to basically be in a relationship and plan on meeting soon
>shes goes away camping with friends for a weekend
>comes back, totally changed attitude toward me
>distant, never wants to chat
>one night at 3AM, she initiates chat
>"anon... chad raped me on that camping trip"
>go into white-knight overload mode
>crying my eyes out while doing my best to comfort her while she types the story
>she logs off around 4AM
>in my emotional state, decide to walk to the police station
>i ask the officer at the front desk "what do i do, my gf was raped"
>he gives me advice and different options while im bawling uncontrollably
>leave police station around 6AM
>my sadness turns to fury
>walk home, write a huge post on his FB page calling him out for being a rapist
>cry myself to sleep
>wake up
>like a million FB notifications
>on my post, she apologizes to chad and claims im some stalker psycho who made up the entire thing myself
>go to message her, shes totally blocked me
>all kinds of people msging me
>"you idiot, she was never raped, they fucked non-stop all weekend, it was 100% consensual, anyone who was there will tell you the same"
>wtf
>screenshot our chat and post it
>trying to set the record straight and regain some dignity
>just makes things worse, no one believes me
>saying i photoshopped it, im a sick fucking weirdo who made it all up
Such thing never happened to me but this is the whore cycle, it happened to a cousin, she was dating a Chad by the time and started to live with him, she was beaten, we went to the police office, got all drama and shitstorm, 1 month later they were back. You see this is their cycle';
>find chad
>get beat
>ask little neet for help
>repeat until 30+
>marry betacuck
Bumping.. no interest in this thread?
I don't know if this qualifies
>at school party
>everyone is drinking
>girl I know grabs me
>takes me into the bathroom
>one of her bra straps is loose and her shirt is open
>she reaches her arms around her back then turns around
>think she wants me to help her fix it
>start fiddling around with it
>get an erection
>she realizes I'm trying to put her bra back on
>she opens the door and leaves
>I walk outside
>apparently she saw my boner
>she told everyone I got a boner
>she told everyone I had a small penis
20 year old NEET here. Depressed, nihilistic and suicidal.
When I was a child, it was my dream to become a famous author.
I was a talented writer for most of my time at school.
English was my best subject and I was usually top of the class in it without even trying.
Should I become an author? Do you think it's possible I could do it to make money?
Unless you have serious connections in academia and/or publishing industry, no, it's not possible. Unless you're a woman, then it might be, but it's still lottery odds.
>>28440937
But John Green literally took a shit on to a piece of paper and got rich from it.
Or did he have connections maybe?
>>28440886
just sell your body
>Oh look, my brother anon came out of his room. Wanna join us?
What do you say?
>>28440885
say fuck yea and take a seat and manspread as wide as possible and eat all their finger food
>>28440885
this resonates with me a lot because i have a normie female sister with tons of friends, i would probably be thinking how they all think i'm ugly and what me to suffer for eternity
>>28440885
If I'd come out of my room it would be to go to the kitchen. I'd decline and quickly finish my business and leave.
The only reason such a group of girls would invite me to join them would be because they see me as a low-test "cutie" who they can treat like one of the girls, they would dehumanise me and emasculate me and if they were especially insidious they'd talk about chad while I was there
So, no. I guess at least they're not tumblrinas
Because of the relative success of the thread yesterday; Whats your current favourite reaction image /r9k/?
>>28440877
This desu
I MEAN REALLY HOW
AAUUGUGHGHJSDHJKSHJKKJ VIHKVB IE
howdy lads
>Anyone else here /stupidasfuck/?
I have to correct my grades by the end of the week, which means I have to pass a physics test on Wednesday and a math test on Friday.
My chances are grim. If I don't pass them I don't pass the year and can't continue to college. Also if I don't pass I'm just going to give up
on school, having to attend school all summer and retake math and physics is my personal hell. So I'm probably going to get a job in
physical labour or join the military, or go live in the woods. That's the plan anyways.
Any robots have experience what to do if you fail highschool? (not american btw)
if you aren't smart enough to pass high school you should probably look for practical jobs, like becoming an electrician or a welder.
>>28440857
Might look into that. Do you have to take classes or something?
>>28440848
Nah, I'm brilliant but all this wisdom is useless when you're alone.
Ask a former robot turned normie anything.
Dont tell me to fuck off, Ive been longer most of you pretend bots.
I was once a 20 yo kissless manlet virgin. Im now 26 with an awesome gf, fun job, social life and friends. Im still bitter about my past and I still believe women are second class citizens who dont belong here. You robots deserve a home of your own.
btw 'just be yourself' only works if you're not autistic.
What makes you think youre interesting enough for any of us to give a shit?
>>28440898
This based anon gets it. I'd honestly rather hear about his troubles than OP's incessant whining.
>>28440898
Because another guy made a similar thread the other day and got 150 comments.It annoys me that because he used the right balance of meme arrows and 4chan language that you cunts jumped in.
I have wisdom and advice and general 4chan warries to share.
Why do Asians hate their own race?
Because Asians are the most feminine men of all, it's why they make such good traps
Women want diverse genes in their offspring.
Men just want to spread their genes.
yw.
>>28440785
they realized their wombs are made for white dicks, they want the semen of white guys deep inside them
If penis size doesn't matter, then why do humans have disproportionately large penises? Gorillas have micropenises by human standards.
>>28440761
Size does matter.
Don't be naive and think otherwise.
>>28440761
If height matters, why are humans so small? Humans are microbes by whale standards
>>28440761
because human vaginas are large so they can give birth to large headed babby
that makes penis size bigger
So I wake up around 5:30, bathed in sweat. It's getting light outside. I flip the covers and try to move to the other half of the bed, which is less sweaty, but everything still feels disgustingly moist. Fucking sweat.
Eventually I manage to go back to sleep, and lo and behold, I'm in my late teens again. The world I find myself in is really quite bizarre, at least the bits and pieces that I can still remember when I wake up.
A common occupation in this world is testing the damage output and behavior of StarCraft II units. The units are real, physical things, the largest ones a few inches in size, and their damage output is tested by having them attack caged pigs. Some people are strongly opposed to this practice since they consider it needlessly barbaric, and push for alternative testing methods.
I walk up outside a two-story apartment complex. There's some kind of ambulance parked in the driveway, although it's yellow and shaped like a military amphibious landing vehicle. That's apparently what ambulances look like in this world, because it seems perfectly normal to me. I guess some on-call ambulance driver lives in one of the apartments.
I'm here to meet a girl. She's a bit younger than me, perhaps two or three years. I can't quite remember what her face looks like, only that she is pretty and that her hair looks like that of the girl from Leon: The Professional. It's a much lighter shade of brown though.
>>28440734
I feel excited and a little bit tense, but it's a good kind of tense. The girl's parents are not at home, we sit down in the kitchen and talk for a bit. I can't remember what we're talking about, only how the whole situation makes me feel. There's just a tiny drop of awkwardness in there, but like the good kind of tense that I felt before, this is not the kind of awkwardness that sticks around in the back of my head for weeks and months. It's not the kind of awkwardness that reassures me that I'm a worthless, pathetic human being that no one will ever like, not the kind that kicks off the downward spiral of anxiety and negative, shitty thoughts that tend to ruin my day and leave me hyperventilating in bed. It's a pleasant kind of awkwardness. It's a kind of awkwardness that makes both me and the girl smile and giggle, fueled by curiosity and raging hormones. It feels good. I feel excited and a little bit tense. A good kind of tense.
As we talk I briefly think of my part-time job testing StarCraft II units. The girl doesn't like that stuff, she feels sorry for the pigs. I'll get a new job. I'll do anything for her.
We're in the shower now, holy fucking shit. She has her back turned, I help soap her up. Her skin is so soft, she smells amazing. I'm getting a boner. God damn it. She turns around and smiles. I don't think she minds my over-eager boner. We stare into each other's eyes and kiss. It's not a wild, lustful tongue-in-throat-kiss. It's a little bit shy, just lips gently touching. I have never felt this good in my life.
I wake up. The bed's still sweaty, though somewhat less now. My boxers cling to my crotch, moist and uncomfortable from the sweat. I need a fresh pair.
As I get out of bed and grab my glasses I take a look around the room. My desk is so full of crap you can hardly see the surface. Cables, a laptop, network equipment. A plate, some cups, empty bags of potato chips and ice cream tubs. The floor is slightly less cluttered, but still a mess of dirty clothes and random stuff. Dust and hair is everywhere. I can't remember the last time i vacuumed this room.
I stumble across the floor, stubbing my toe against a plastic toolbox. The bathroom is dimly lit since I still haven't been assed replacing the lightbulb in the ceiling. At least the light above the mirror is still working, but I don't want to look in the mirror. I don't want to see that repulsive, ugly body. Jesus. I haven't shaved since Thursday, need to do that today. There are a couple of zits on my chest, and I've got a bit of a gut now. Kinda surprised I haven't grown even fatter yet. Guess it takes time.
The floor in the kitchen is also dirty and full of crap and empty plastic bags. It seems almost normal now, like it would be weird if I cleaned it up. More than half the kitchen bench is covered in empty beer cans. I need to recycle them, and I also need to cut back on the drinking. I can't really afford it and it doesn't really do much anymore. Just a stupid habit.
There are brown stains on the water boiler. I consider cleaning them off for a second, but I just can't be bothered right now. While the water heats up I have some cornflakes, with water since the milk went bad over the weekend. I pop my anxiety meds and down the pills with a cup of lukewarm instant coffee. The hall is so full of empty cardboard boxes that's it's hard to get to the clothes rack. I give up and leave without a jacket. Time for work. Time to do my part.
JUST
I don't understand the meaning of this OP
>testing starcraft II units
Why did you choose this?
>50%+ of people born in the year 2000 are not virgin and likely have done anal already
How does it feel to be a khhv at age 25? I mean holy shit, don't you guys get lonely? Wouldn't you want to have a relationship with some girl? I don't get you guys.
>>28440718
You know the difference between those guys and you guys? They don't slut shame. They don't care if a girl is a virgin or not. They actually go out of their way to please a girl. They actually pay for the entire date, no split bills cheapo shit.
>>28440718
>"50% of 16 year olds have probably done anal"
You're pulling these statistics out of your virgin ass.
>>28440718
why does it have to be blonde blue eyed girls
>owned by a jew
oh, right.
What is her name [r9k]? Where is she?
>>28440633
She's probably sleeping
I miss her a lot desu
In bed next to me.
>>28440633
Underground
>tfw 19
>still haven't had my boipussy virginity lost to a man old enough to be my dad
Craigslist, my bottom
>>28440828
but what about AIDS and potential of getting raped and killed
>>28440566
How big dick do you expect?
How big his dick must be to satisfy you?
