Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1790. page
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>haven't cum in over a week
>become hard spontaneously
>have now been hard for almost an hour
>pee pee is sore
>pee pee needs relief
>not sure what to watch while I masturbate so I'm stuck perpetually hard.
>>29204595
just get a sandwich bag and fill it with ice cubes and put it on your dick. hold it there until it goes away. or take a piss that usually makes mine go away. idk about the ice cube thing but i want to see what happens. report back on your mission status, soldier.
Don't fail senpai
>>29204642
I don't really want to make it go away with ice, I'm scrolling through /gif/ now looking for something. Problem is I don't watch porn usually, and am kind of dislike it, but I feel like watching some now to make me cum faster.
> Guy rents a room in my flat
> I am attracted to him I think?
> Few nights ago playing card games, drinking beer, eating pizza, nice evening
> pretty drunk
> As we're turning in for the night, we kind of grab each other and kiss
> First sexual contact for over three years for me
> He says 'goodnight daddy' and goes to bed, I rub one out on the sofa thinking of him
> He goes away on a work trip for a week. I took him to the airport yesterday
> kiss before he goes, kind of awkward
Am I gay now? I think I'm gay. Am I okay with the gay? Are you gay too? What is it like?
>>29204564
Yeah you're gay. Embrace the faggotry.
>>29204722
Cool. I think it will be better because we're like friends, you know? It wasn't awkward like with girls.
>>29204564
become a trap, show your butt and show your boipucci
originalo
What do you think?
Bought these (supposedly) 2g of Amnesia haze in a "Koffieshop" in the Netherlands a while back. It was pretty good but quite expensive (12,50 Euros for a gram).
I have no idea about the usual prices in the NL, did I make a good purchase or not? The quality was definitely a step up when compared to the weed I can get in my home country, though the difference wasn't that huge (and I also pay like 7-8 Euros for a gram)
>>29204524
>euros
Your shitty currency probably just failed a bit and you didn't notice because you're on holiday.
>>29204524
Tourist trap price. It was good at least, right?
>>29204633
It was good, I was satisfied with the purchase even though it was quite expensive.
>>29204571
I was visiting Groningen which is a tourist city but I searched for a shop outside of the city center and some other people actually recommended me that one too.
My biggest regret is I didn't go to other shops and comped the prices.
Though I already visited Groningen in 2011 or 2012 once and the stuff I bought back then wasn't nearly as good.
Anyone else spit in the face of God?
>be me
>blessed with perfect genetics
>6'0
>blue eyes
>light brown hair
>can easily grow a beard
>square shoulders
>good in bed
>played sports in high school
>let myself get to almost 400 pounds
Pic related, it's me from high school when I played sports and was popular
You don't look like you play sports, not to mention you look like a fucking autistic asshole. That fucking beard.
Also your friend looks like he laughs at disabled people.
>>29204529
I was a lazy fuck in high school about grooming, but I can assure you that I was a decent rugby player. My pained demeanor was from the weather -- it was less than 20 degrees outside that day.
That was seven years ago. Now I just sit on my computer all day and eat frozen foods.
That's shitty. Have you seen Jojo's bizarre adventure? Jojo played rugby too.
Now that chairman Sanders is naught but ashes, are you ready to join the winning team?
Surely you wouldn't elect a roastie convict, would you?
im too edgy for any of them, bernie sanders was a meme too
>>29204472
tump is hilldykes butt boi, his currant political run started in her living room down the hall from the bathroom with the email server in it when she wound him up to go push her failed birth certificate attack.
why do you think he's gone limp dicked after cruze punched out?
>>29204499
Nah but if we just use the system to reform the errors inherent in the system... C'mon man, LESSER OF TOO EVILS
>Had a hard life
>Clawed my way from homeless to successful
>Moved international, bought a home, claimed a wife
>Everything great, should be happy
>Am not
>Remember what originally made everything go to shit
>Every day I wake and can only think of revenge
>Think about it as I fall asleep
>Gnaws at me no matter how great life is.
I'm not sharing deep details, this is going to sound like movie plot shit and you can either believe it or not, who cares. I'm admitting this shit vaguely somewhere at least once, this is my "confession".
I pissed off the wrong people in a school district and they literally tricked my parent into signing me onto a halfway program for juvenile hall. As in, I went from being a gifted program kid who skipped grades to ending up as a drug mule to survive inside of a barb wire fenced cop patrolled shithole. The media wouldn't help and lawyers laughed. I was on my way to graduating high scool at 16 and instead fighting my way out of that shit program ruined everything and cost my family shit tons of money, I was held hostage and my entire future was smashed to smithereens. My family divorced and I chose to become a bum rather than deal with the shitstorm any further, from there I climbed up.
I know it has to have been one of 5 key people, or multiple, who conspired to trick my parents into signing me up for the "Incredible new program" that they lied through their teeth about. I've concocted a plan to isolate who is responsible and eventually take my black hearted revenge.
I'm going to pose that I am writing an autobiography on my success, being completely friendly, and perhaps even subservient in pursuing interviews through that I will do everything possible to flush out exactly who fucked me. I will bide a decade before I enact my plan. Everything I have now feels worthless, I need revenge. A group of people conspired with the literal intent to ruin a kids life, this happened, they exist. I will have them answer for it.
>>29204381
assuming this is real how in gods name were you tricked from being gifted to going to juvee
You can not let these fucks get away with this HOLY SHIT IF THIS IS TRUE YOU NEED TO GET REVENGE THERE NEEDS TO BE JUSTICE
>>29204381
Im confused what program was it
Post whatever you're listening to.
I've been listening mainly to Beirut lately.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uVhAjpEslY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ml4jCmaysuk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0R1jecPe6UU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVlbxWynyFE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ub_m2iGf0xc
Mostly streetlight manifesto and toh kay
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eAY7nOnL1o
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4QeP0jf6SY
And then a little bit of things like these
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ws4908LsEAo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUegJBEusoI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64MMP_a1I0I
LIFE, LIFE IS ALRIGHT ON THE RHINE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vc6vs-l5dkc
>trying to stop being a beta
>getting used to socializing with women, talking to them more often, small talk
>me and another female coworker lightly flirting for about a week
>finally muster up the very little balls and courage i had in my sperg body
>ask for her number
>"uhhh anon i have a boyfriend"
>mfw
why do bad things happen to good people? why would she even flirt with me? that just destroyed the very small amount of confidence i had left
>>29204261
they all have boyfriends. all of them. especially coworkers. if not, then they're lesbian.
there's nothing left anymore, stop even trying. instead of trying to pound out your weaknesses, instead exploit your strengths. being beta implies you're "into" things more so than normie alphas who simply brush the surface on most subjects.
dedicate your life to something higher. stop chasing your own tail, break free from the leash. become ultrabeta anon
>>29204366
>being beta implies you're "into" things more so than normie alphas
normies by definition are betas, the average people at the top of the bell curve, robots are omegas way down the shit foot, a true robot can't even comprehend an actual alpha.
>>29204425
if chad = alpha, and also chad = normie, then alpha = normie. while you're not incorrect, nearly every person here uses this model of semantics where by "alpha" and "beta" we are usually describing the spectrum from chads to autists, and not the normalcy/commonality/mean/average/whatever of a specific subset of people which is usually denoted more by the "pleb" and "patrician" qualifiers.
so to more rigidly define what i was describing, the fact that you are on this board and that you describe yourself as "beta" leads me to believe you most likely possess a certain set of stereotypical traits, which i described, and that you should pursue the strengths inherent in those traits instead of trying to absorb traits you do not possess.
Not racist, but I cannot watch most interracial scenes, unless it's Blacked, Lexington Steele, or Sean Michelles The deep voices and ebonic./southern accents are annoying and a major turn off; can't even focus on the girl becacuse they are talking so much.
That's the major one there are other minor pet peeves
>if the dudes have mustaches (or look like pirates)
>violent degrading shit (doesn't exclude classy bdsm)
>trailer trash (vergo peridot especially)
>trashy people in general
>bukkakae (gross)
>degrading cuckold porn
>gaysex
>morbidly obese (somewhat chubby is ok, but if you've got 3 rolls, and your arms are covered in fat that's a problem)
Other than that anything is fine.
What about you anons?
>>29204210
Black women. I just find them disgusting.
Skelly women, seeing them in porn is a boner defusal kit.
>>29204210
>anything with background music beyond the first 30 seconds
>HMVs and compilations of any kind
>the girl is completely naked and fucking less than a minute in
>"clever" camera guys
>retards who drag around windows and adjust volume while recording browser camshows
>cringey indian betas in the comments section
Anyone who doesn't look like this is a rapist in the eyes of women.
I was thinking about this while having breakfast.
That's pretty much true.
When a hot guy passes by they think "I wish a guy like this rapes me".
When an average or ugly guy pass by they think "this guy maybe is a rapist...oh fuck, this other one is SURE a disgusting rapist, shoo-shoo!".
Sad.
Woman here, I can confirm: I only fuck guys like this, and any guy below this is inferior and ugly
>>29204166
Why can't guys like that rape me?
I yelled at a child today.
Some 10-13 year old girl almost made me fall while I was riding my bicycle. In clear mischief she jumped off her tiny skateboard thing and watched it glide towards me. It happened very quickly and when my bike's tire hit the thing, I almost fell down. Thank god I didnt because then I would have really REEEEEEEEE'd at her.
My only reaction was to shout "What is your fucking problem!?"
She looked kind of spooked when I shouted that and went on my way, now that Im finally back home I feel really guilty about it.
Im sorry some little girl, I got spooked. Town is full of normies and foreigners because of some event, had a bad time trying to buy food because of it and then you just had to do that. Your friends around you looked awkward, I hope they wont bully you about this.
Thats all, I felt like telling this.
>>29204134
She did it in purpose man, no need to feel bad. Kids are the devil. Once this little fuckers left his soccer ball in my lath path when I was skating, I was very close to hitting the fucker.
Dont feel bad.
little shit had it coming, dont feel bad about it
>>29204224
I guess you are right. Kids are always making trouble afterall. They are probably finding other people to inconvenience right now. If only they wouldnt do such dangerous things.
>you will never suck on a girls smelly armpits
i did and it was disgusting
same as licking feet
irl this shit is nasty
>>29204118
>i did and it was disgusting
Tell me how, what did it taste like, and why was it disgusting?
Also was she fat, and don't lie to me.
Bump
Others have to know this feeling.
Is female body odor the same as male?
Who else here has /nigger blood/?
>be me
>be mulatto
>dad never left but is a extreme dindu
>mom is basically a leftist roastie
>in school i was always harassed by dindus
>in school i was the weird "black nazi" since i made a joke about the holocaust during class
>rejected by oneitis for being black
>early life confusion
>moved to the north, basically cuckland, usa
>discovered /pol/ and escaped leftist brain washing
>tfw only right-wing mulatto in 500 mile radius
Shameful self-bump.
>you have been muted for 4 seconds
nigger
original comment btw
All of my ancestors were Irish so yeah, I'm a nigger too
>Be me.
>Way back in the nein-th grade.
>All of my elective classes take place in the computer lab.
>Never do work, just fuck around.
>Try to get admin so I can download vidya.
>AdminPassword.jpg
>No prevail.
>Assignment where we make a commercial.
>There is a filming room where they film morning announcements, then broadcast it through CCTV. library is connected by a hallway.
>Librarian is an idiot, and gone.
>Find sticky note on the librarian's desk with admin credentials.
>Install shit, and bypass filter to look at shit that was auto-blocked because the thing we used searched for stuff with just single words eg. Games.
>want more
>lots more
>WANT MASSIVE HIJINKS
>Install Cain.
>Fuck with people's computers.
>Spam shit on the keyboard.
>Open Notepad and talk to them about how I'm a ghost trapped in the computer or something.
>Make windows freakout.
>Hold shift randomly.
>Copy and paste icons randomly.
>You name it I did it, never caught.
>People talking about random computer fuckery, and eventually conclude it's a hacker.
>Honestly I'm just messing around to a larger extent.
>FF to June, last week.
>Gotta go out with a bang.
>Spam onscreen messages on every computer by running a program in the school's shared folder.
>Every computer FUCKING CRASHES.
>THE WHOLE SCHOOL'S LIGHTS GO OUT.
>Turns out the school got a high tech automation system that ran in the background of someone's computer.
>People screaming and laughing.
>Every legend confirmed about the hacker.
As unbelievable as it is, it's true, everybody except the students just thought it was an outage because our city had a lot.
Pic unrelated.
the anonymous hacker shows his face
we've been waiting
I bashed a guy at highschool that was bullying me so badly they called an ambulance.
He didn't actually leave in the ambulance, they were just checking him out.
But everyone saw pissed off anon getting dragged to the office after a fight, and then the ambo shows up. Few people fucked with me after that
I once defended my little brother in a fit of rage that I havent felt since.
I was in highschool senior year and my little brother had just started highschool. Saw some guys bully him and it really pissed me off. I just ran in there and instead of trying to talk it out, I knocked out the first guy straight away with one hard punch and then was left fighting 3 others which didnt go so well. Managed to keep them away and then some random guy joined the fight and helped us out. I was friends with that nice dude during highschool, but never after that. I guess it wasnt really all that badass, but I felt like a good big brother for the first time ever for defending my little bro. After all these years he still remembers that.
Who's the oldest oldfag currently on this board? What's your story? Why are you still here?
I'm 47. I dunno, sometimes I like browsing Malaysian frog chat-intertube boards. It must be OCD.
Pretty much catastrophically depressed, doped up on antidepressants, multiple suicide attempts, shut-in, etc. I am the ghost of your Christmas future. Don't be like me. The ride never ends but you can get off. It's too late for me but not for yo.
>>29204131
it's not too late till you're dead old fella
>>29204131
>getting off of a ride that never ends
At least your advice is normie tier.
