Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5103. page
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daily reminder you pathetic creeps are never going to get this while you're living NEETlife at home with mommy.
I wouldn't get it as a wagecuck on my own either, anon, what's it fucking matter?
Damn, that's one fine skillet
What is it? Cast-Iron? Jealous as fuck over here.
>> implying I live with my parents
Try again wagie
Hi /r9k/ I turned 12 today can I get a happy birthday?
>>26982179
This is a 18+ board, reported
This is a 18+ website, reported
This is a 18+ webpage, reported
>My birthday today
>A chad bro from work calls me at 6am
>Trying to sleep so just said Yeah yeah and hung up
>Had my normal day
>5pm he messaged me
>"All right dude, already called everyone, in two hours at X place"
>He organized a birthday party with a lot of people from the office
>Fuck, now i have to go
>Went there and try to be invisible
>Chad bro starts taunting me about a girl
>"Go on anon, I made it perfect, it's my present to you"
>"Dude, i've said, i don't do this"
>"Come on dude, you clearly like her and she likes you...what do you think Godzilla would do in this situation?" (we both really like the godzilla movies and I don't know why he supposed i liked her)
>Started singing the Gyodai theme from Changeman
>Finally went there and start talking to her
>Boring as fuck...decided to just dance and grope her
>After some half-hour i've maneged to free myself and jumped out of the club
How do I make chad bro understand that my life is different from his? It's starting to piss me and I don't want to lose one of my only friends...
>>26982149
Sounds like Chad is a really cool guy trying to get you laid.
Why is your "life different from his"? Did you not like the girl?
>>26982258
>Why is your "life different from his"?
you need to go back desu desu
>what do you think Godzilla would do in this situation?
Chad trying to hook you up senpai, I wish people would do that for me.
What are something's I can do to entertain my 9 year old niece?
Im trying to baby sit her right now and she's just sitting on my couch coloring. Is she too old for that? idk. Better than me at staying inside the lines, but I'm bored.Im not going to sex her.
do you have any multiplayer nintendo games
kids love that shit
>9 years old
>coloring
Nigga I was too old for coloring when I was 6.
Play a video game with her, or take her to McDonald's or something.
Make a pillow Fort. Prank call a pizza place.
Do something you wanted to do as kids
Hey faggots
***>> I read this topic on our rival web forum. A subforum for men with large penises. These alphas are talking a it what it's like to be a bull. Badass! I would never be a cuck or a bull but I do think it would be cool to be friends with a guy who cucks other guys. Maybe I could learn from their swag lol...
I cucked 2 of my coworkers. The first time nobody found out but the husband killed himself 3 months into it. I'm still not sure if it was because he found out. His wife kept seeing me afterwards and told me no suicide note was found and no one was completely sure why he did it or if he was suicidal.
>I read this topic on our rival web forum
Nah m8.
I cucked my boss at the company xmas party. I walked in on the asshole fucking his wife in his office. I didn't realize they were both drunk. I was just going into his office to ask what pizza place he wants me to order from. I see his dick and it's pretty small and I kind of involuntarily giggled. His wife giggled a little too and then I looked down at it and it was soft. He couldn't get it back up again, lol. I locked the office door behind me and dropped my pants. I was semi-hard and already 3 inches longer than him. I banged his wife in front of him. I agreed to not make much noise or tell anyone. He started crying halfway through and I felt bad so I hurried and finished. I left the party early. My boss started taking more sick days.
A week later I see a suspicious figure in a hooded tracksuit and sunglasses approach me really fast from behind a pillar in the parking structure at the mall. I pull out my concealed carry .45 and shoot him once in the stomache. He drops pretty fast and starts crying in pain. I call 911 and when the ambulance comes the EMTs take off his hood and I see it's my boss. He is paraplegic now, in a wheelchair. Turns out the EMTs found an illegal switchblade in his hand and I used that evidence in court to prove I shot him in self defense. Little does the justice system know, I'm the one who handed him the switchblade while he was wincing in pain with his eyes closed. He is smaller and weaker than me, so I didn't even really need to shoot him, but I panicked. He's in jail now for attempted assault with a deadly weapon.
And I'm still banging his wife. And I got promoted at work and took his position in the company. I banged his wife in his office for the second Christmas. He's in a prison in a wheelchair and can't feel his dick anymore, and has to use a penis pump to get hard. His wife tells me she talks to him over the phone and he just got shanked by some gangbanger. His 2 year old daughter calls me daddy now.
Did I just get friend zone'd?
You were friendzoned as soon as you used :D
Stating your plan as a question and not an orderggestion didn't help
>maybe
>i'm very busy
Ask her when she is free. Be very direct. Like "Oh. When do you have off work?" If she's still wishy washy, stop talking to her or call her out on it.
Her life is very busy.
![BD40F6757C3333A89F18A71696EEC09CFAF4DF61[1].gif](https://i.imgur.com/gH5cMUo.gif "BD40F6757C3333A89F18A71696EEC09CFAF4DF61[1]")
Are any of you're siblings robots? I feel like my little brother is following in my footsteps and I don't want him to. How do I turn him into a normie?
>>26981560
nopey nope nope no. We are all doomed.
>>26981560
You have the robot genes bro. All of you're ancestors were probably robots, it's in your blood to have robautism.
>>26981560
no, i'm the only failure.
at least it makes living at home easier.
Why are women so horrible?
WHY CAN YOU NOT LET ME LIKE YOU AS A PERSON?
STOP IGNORING ME YOU WHORES
nobody ever posts in my threads
>>26981559
Anon, look you are american. You are born rich.
Why don't you go to a 3rd world country like mine(Brazil), and fuck cute latina girls?
It's that easy.
>go outside for the first time in a long time
>its gotten worse
>still getting weird looks and stares from every other person
>not even wearing autism clothes or anything
i know its partly paranoia but there are definitely more people giving me looks when i walk down the street then the average guy gets.
I don't even look that weird. (Okay maybe I do look "out of place")
>>26981466
You see people looking at you because you are looking at them. People instinctively look at people they see out of the corner of their eye who are looking at them. Nobody thinks as poorly of you as you do.
It's not like anybody wants to even look twice at your faggot ass anyway.
>>26981574
Thats my point dude
I'm NOT looking at them, its exactly what you said, I see them looking at me in MY peripheral vision. I should have inb4'd that.
whats your outfit
>get shitty driver job for local pizza joint
>boss is muscular turbostacy similar to pic related
>repulsed by her, but I'm broke so act nice
>hate job instantly. Tired all the time because of it.
>boss starts calling me 'noodle arms' and 'drowzee' (yes, after the pokemon)
>pretty sure she is gonna fire me any day now
>tells me I need to work out and learn how to feed myself
>bitch sounds worse than my fucking mother, can't stand her at this point
>tell her she should know I can't afford a gym membership or decent food
>she says I'm full of shit on the food but gym membership is a fair point
>invites me to work out with her
>I can think of literally nothing more humiliating than having turbostacy benching my weight right infront of me while I sweat with a 10lb dumbell
>refuse
>tells me I have to, she's my boss
>not sure if she's serious, but tell her I'll try it ONCE
>expect her to drag me to some gym
>she takes me to her home and it's fucking huge. she's goddamn rich.
>walks me into her personal gym big enough for a dozen fucking people.
>want to turn around and run right then and there
>she soon has me doing warm ups, has me copying her every move
>I can't do even a third of the stretches she does
>onto weights
>she keeps grabbing me and adjusting my positioning
>I keep lifting weakass shit while she busts 100lb shit up and down like its nothing. I can't even comprehend how it can be so easy for her
>we do this for two fucking hours with only a handful of rests
>she takes me up into the nicest looking kitchen I've ever seen
>cooks a meal so big I can't believe someone who eats it isn't a hamplanet
>starts talking to me about feeding myself cheap while we eat
>she gives me like 30 pages of printed out shopping lists and recipes
>has me back in her gym first once a week. Then twice. Then thrice. Then she just gives me the keys
>I gained 10lbs of muscle over the last year
Why? Why is turbostacy so nice to me? WTF IS GOING ON and... H-how do I stay with her forever?
Post the secrets. Some of us are twigs like you are/were.
Ask her if she's into femdom
>>26980589
Get more muscular and make your move. She pretty obviously wants your dong.
>tfw you find out he doesn't love you
>tfw you realize you were just being used
>tfw all of your dreams of marrying him and raising a family together are shattered
>>26980498
> you realize you were just being used
The fuck, you women at least you had someone who used you
I'd pay to feel that feel
>>26980498
>>tfw you find out she doesn't love you
>>tfw you realize you were just being used
>>tfw all of your dreams of marrying her and raising a family together are shattered
This happens way too often than the original.
>>26980710
What makes you say that?
Why do you think guys fall in love more than girls do?
Is it just because your heart was broken and you're a guy?
>tfw a fembot that only dates rly tall men :c
http://thoughtcatalog.com/emily-madriga/2015/03/13-struggles-of-being-a-girl-who-only-dates-really-tall-men/
>>26980314
I know that, girl
Also check out this awesome thread >>26979846
>>26980314
I bet you're a womenlet
>>26980314
>Person who did this article can't tell the difference between you're and your
Stopped reading there.
Why won't you guys just be yourselves?
>>26979999
That's an interesting pic OP haven't seen anything like that, not being sarcastic the advice there I've not seen often elsewhere.
I'm not myself because I'm afraid of being hurt and have too much emotional baggage. I can't form serious relationships or decent friendships anymore I don't know how. I have no sincere family to talk to, I had to be the emotional and mental adult of the family at an early age until I saw how childish they were and how easily they spilled their emotional baggage on me.
My mother tried to be my friend, not my mother, emotional codependency and sheltering occurred, lots of passive aggressive and BPD tier stuff from TBI and related psychological issues.
My father didn't seem to have much of a personality past the Christian Bible and doing what my mother told him to do, but he likes silly stuff.
My brothers and sister in-law are self righteous assholes who can do no wrong, like my mother.
Mandatory therapy isn't helpingOP. The meds help me sleep.
I don't want to go to therapy anymore. I don't want to feel this way. I wish I could be happy again. I don't remember what it's like to be happy. I've never expected to be happy all the time but its been so long.
And that's why I don't act like myself. Like a hedgehog OP. I prick a lot despite wanting companionship.
Pic unrelated I was drawing portraits of Venom and BB the other day.
>eat healthy food
>immediately followed by "Get delivery to save time"
>>26980269
>he can't get healthy food from restaurants that do delivery
kek
>>26980209
sucks to be you, i made this thread as a complete shitty bait but reading your post made me realize that there are people that genuinely have psychological problems like these.
not sure what one can do but say: hope you'll get better some day
Is there any worse feel than being a black KV? Black people are so obsessed with sex.
>Visit 55 year old family friend
>A middle aged woman he knows turns up along with her 20 year old daughter and her baby
>They all ask me to go to the shop to buy alcohol
>I say "there's no point because I look very young" (I'm 24 but I look around 17)
>They insist I go anyway
>I go an predictably I'm refused
>Don't argue, he was only following the law
>Come back, all three of them start haranguing me for being too beta
>Say I should have argued with the shopkeeper
>"But I was in the wrong to not have ID"
>"You should argue anyway because you're a man"
>"Whatever"
>Later on the middle aged woman gets drunk
>Keeps on asking me if I have a girlfriend
>I said no
>Asks if I've ever had a girlfriend
>I said no
>All three of them start discussing their theory that I was never served because I never fucked a woman
>Makes me less of a man
>Makes me look young
>Black science in full throttle
>Woman is jeering at me
>Man is frowning at me
>Younger woman with baby is just giggling in a corner
>Say I am going to get something to eat and left
>Never returned
>>26979812
>"You should argue anyway because you're a man"
Argue for something you don't even want?
What would you give to go back to the character creator?
Jesus christ you really got a shit hand. Are you racist by now?
No blacks on /r9k/?
>tfw outcast even among outcasts
>>26979812
>I was never served because I never fucked a woman
Also what?
When will the cucking end.
>>26979801
Oh come on, nobody gives a shit about ghost busters
Do you know what cucking even memes?
>>26979819
It's not so much the about the movie itself but the fact of 'muh grill power' being shoved down everyones throat and feminism ruining everything that once was
