Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 846. page
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FUCKING EVERY GIRL THAT LIKES ME ON THESE DATING APPS IS TRYING TO PUT ME IN JAIL WHAT THE FUCK
GO AWAY FUCKING FBI REEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>29650489
I don't understand. She's 18 so it's cool right?
WHY DO THEY THINK THIS IS OK. THIS COULD PUT PEOPLE IN PRISON
>>29650489
>18
What's the problem? Niggeroriginal
I spent 3 hours making this today on a plastic childrens loom kit.
Does /r9k/ do any arts and crafts?
>>29650486
Neat. Use it as your iphone 6s cover
>>29650486
that looks like shit, why do people with no knowledge of art or crafts for that matter always feel like they will be able to wing it anyways?
>>29650486
Good job anon, it looks cool. What aussie state are you from btw?
>20 year old virgin
>finally ask a 6/10 girl out
>she comes to my place
>she wants to watch a movie
>I say which one
>she wants to browse Netflix
>I tell her I don't use Netflix but I can play any movie she wants
>She wants to see some original Netflix drama about some crippled kid or whatever
>I find it for her on torrent sites
>I download the movie in 15 mins while I make some drinks for us. Thought it was a pretty smooth move during the wait
>I go to my HDTV and I pull out the HDMI cable
>she's like um what are you doing
>I say I'm going to hook up the laptop to the TV to watch the movie
>She makes this face like...like she is rolling her eyes at me
>I hook it up and I start moving the cursor around the screen on the tv to find the folder
>she says "um you know...I think I have to call it a night I just remembered I have to get some stuff done before work"
>I ask her if anything is wrong
>She says nothing, nothing
>I ask her if she's sure and she says yes and I walk her to my door.
>I tell her goodnight and she is like ok goodnight and she walks out.
Fuck me I really thought it was going to be a lucky night for me but using this way to watch movies really fucked me over.
>>29650415
Don't worry anon, she sounds like a shallow bitch anyway
lol what did she expect? she sounds like a bitch.
Nothing of value was lost, OP.
If she doesn't have the patience to wait 20 fucking minutes for you to fulfill her request she's an entitled princess who would've only given you brain cancer anyway.
>It's an anon puts on his pajama pants and remembers how she used to steal them snd wear them when she came around episode
>>29650366
Nhoare me
>>29650366
dang that sounds super annoying. but you where them now, sounds like a win, anon.
>Having a reasonably cheerful day
>Something obscure reminds me of her
>End up crying and talking to omegle strangers to soothe my loneliness
Don't be shy anon *pats seat*
>>29650302
She looks like Big Suze from Peep Show, just with massive tits
>>29650302
Uh. No thanks, I'm gay.
>>29650302
>Excess baggage
If you lost your dick right now and nothing is left, would you kill yourself?
It's not like I was using it or anything. And besides, I've still got my butthole.
>>29650295
No? Those things have nothing to do with each other. I want to remain conscious no matter what. Having a dick is irrelevant to that.
>implying ever going to use it so it makes a difference
I need love, love to ease my mind
I need to find, find someone to call mine
But Mama said
You can't hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said love don't come easy
It's a game of give and take
You can't hurry love
No, you just have to wait
You got to trust, give it time
No matter how long it takes
But how many heartaches must I stand
Before I find a love to let me live again?
Right now the only thing that keeps me hangin' on
When I feel my strength, yeah, is almost gone
I remember Mama said
You can't hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said love don't come easy
It's a game of give and take
How long must I wait?
How much more can I take?
Before loneliness will cause my heart
Heart to break?
No, I can't bear to live my life alone
I grow impatient for a love to call my own
But when I feel that I, I can't go on
These precious words keeps me hangin' on
I remember Mama said
You can't hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said love don't come easy
It's a game of give and take
You can't hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said trust, give it time
No matter how long it takes
No, love, love, don't come easy
But I keep on waiting, anticipating
For that soft voice to talk to me at night
For some tender arms to hold me tight
I keep waiting, I keep on waiting
But it ain't easy, it ain't easy
But Mama said
You can't hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said to trust, give it time
No matter how long it takes
You can't hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said love don't come easy
It's a game of give and take
I would give my life savings to hear Elliott sing that song to me.
>>29650329
Me too.
The song was originally written by a band called 'The Supremes'
>>29650339
I've heard it played in the background of shopping malls many times in my life.
This is my roommate. I've been watching him play yugioh on his computer for about fifteen minutes. It's so nice to not be all alone anymore.
If you're reading this, roommate, I'm going to find that hooker i talked to you about, and have her spray you with her vaginal venom. I think that's what hookers do.
Best regards, your roommate.
>>29650259
MARK?
FUCK OFF STOP POSTING ME YOU FUCKER
>>29650269
Im not Mark, but I assume you thought I was because we have some similarities. Has he talked to you about any hookers?
>>29650332
I'm done talking to that cunt.
Tell him he can shove it up his stupid richy rich loving ass. Same goes for you.
How do I cure myself of fat fetishism?
Or do I accept it and move on with my life?
The worst thing is getting an overweight girlfriend is way too embarrassing for me. Mostly concerning the thoughts of my family.
>fat fetish flag
Where's the feminine penis (no homo) fetish flag?
>>29650239
HAHAHAHAHA the fat fetish flag is a Neapolitan ice cream
>>29650239
I'm assuming you developed a fat fetish because you probably jerk off every or almost every day, and jerking off multiple times a day is not uncommon for you. You also probably jerk off out if habit and/or boredom and as a result many of the times you jerk off you are not feeling lustful or horny which then makes you bored and desensitized to whatever it is you normally jerk off to which then makes you develop a fetish so that you can be jerking off to something that excites you.
If that is the case the only way to stop your fat fetish is to stop jerking off and watching porn. Stop doing so for as many days as you can and when you do start jerking off again only jerk off when you're feeling horny, and do not look at porn except for when you're already feeling horny and want to jerk off. And stop indulging the fat fetish, so only jerk off when you're feeling horny and fat fetish shit isn't the only thing that is exciting to you.
If that isn't the case for you there's no curing it. One way to tell if that is not the case and you're just a natural fat fetishist is if when fapping to fat fetish porn you never cum to it and cum to something else.
has taytay had sex with someone?
>dated 20 guys
>"has she had sex?"
yes
Yes.
With Karlie Kloss.
On a road trip
>Atheist
>Pray to god for a girl to like me anyway
Who here /hypocritically lonely/?
>don't like people touching me
>desperate for cuddles
i'm sick of this feel
>>29650130
im an atheist who prays to god that i'll win the lottery. i am pretty desperately lonely too. you neet?
>>29650150
>you neet?
Kind of. I can't elaborate my situation though, I'm afraid someone will recognize me.
I've had this erection for the past 12 hours and it's not going away, I don't want to see a doctor. Tell me how to fix this
>>29650101
see a doctor
or chop it with a knife
>>29650101
Why not fap
>>29650101
it sounds like priapism, which is when you have an erection for more than 6 hours. You should go to the doctor, because there's a possibility of you getting gangrene and having to get rid of your dick.
Are your parents robots? I think my mother is because she hates going out, browses random forums but never writes anything and is ignoring me for all my life which caused lot of trouble.
She's lucky enough to have my father who is making a lot of money so she can stay home for the rest of her life. I kinda envy her.
She always made me stop doing my hobbies because she had to socialize with other people's parents and she hated that.
Are any of your parents robots too?
No my parents are extremely extroverted normies, which is far far worse.
>>29650100
i suspect my mother is mildly autistic.
i wouldn't call her a robot because she's always gone out, worked and tried to have a life but here's why i say that:
1) she has had no real friends during my lifetime and most of the past friends she's told me about were pretty much mean assholes who used her to feel better about themselves.
2) she wants to make friends but is too blunt and socially awkward to really be successful at it
3) she lacks empathy severely, can only see something from my point of view if i spend ten minutes explaining why i feel that way and even then she barely gets it
4) she likes reading, including science fiction and tells me that it's because she can get wrapped up in the characters' lives and she thinks about that when she wants to relax
5) she's told me that one time when she was a kid she sat inside reading and then looked outside and thought "i should be out there instead of in here, shouldn't i" and went outside to play with them.
6) she never really does makeup, clothes, jewelry or hairstyles and chooses to have her hair cut very short, i assume because it's easier.
7) she never picks up on people thinking she's weird or obnoxious but she's paranoid about things that aren't really indicative of that, and obsesses about it
8) she stays at home playing the same game on her computer most of the time. sometimes she goes to meetups but never manages to get people to spend time with her outside of them.
9) her mind makes weird connections so conversations are hard to follow unless you know how she thinks
10) she doesn't really like being touched, was never particularly huggy with me as a child but she also doesn't understand personal space very well
i feel bad for her because she just doesn't know how to play the game. it also really fucked with my own development because although i learned to be a shy version of normie on my own, i never fit in, felt like people would think there was something wrong with me and that fucked me up.
>>29650426
well it sounds like it
C-can it be time for another Ausfag thread?
>>29649969
I challenge every Australian in this thread to have meaningful and well structured conversation with no shitposting.
LETS MAKE THIS ONE A GAY ONE
WHO HERE WANTS TO FUCK ME
>typing a stutter
fuck off weeaboo cunt
What is this man's name?
Benny Hill or that old Butch from Dad's Army
His name tag says Speedy Delivery
>>29649999
Can't leaved them unchecked
>>29649949
Me. McFeely
