Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 6632. page
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I got a interview for subway. How fucked am I? Im not sure im qualified in the art of making sandwiches
If you're not brown you're fucked
>>25364095
>qualified
they train retards to put vegetables on bread, as long as you're don't fart uncontrollably or talk about memes during your interview you should be all right.
I was hired there once as I was turning 19 and drinking everyday, got fired for being too slow during service, ended up working at another sandwich place instead.
>>25364095
Just pretend you are qualified
Who /LikesToStressOutTheirPets/ here?
>tfw popping bubble wrap next to my dog while he is sleeping so he gets spooked
>tfw I throw my cat in a tub full of water for shits and giggles
>tfw put my hamster in my Python terrarium and watch he try and climb up the glass while Petri (the python) hunts him down.
You're the class of autist I hate.
>>25364061
>getting triggered this easy
lmao what a faggot
>>25364069
>being this edgy
>>>/b/
Being a cyborg: The song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dn3tZRc9Qk0
>unironically listening to edgy garbage
ITT: Feels That Don't Deserve Their Own Thread
I'll start
>have super add and have to take adderall as an adult to function properly, people treat me like a druggie
>have symmetrical but feminine face, been mistaken for a grill more than once
>23 but have the voice of a 14 year old
>feel bad about feeling sorry for myself
>coming home from a long day at work and having my key break off in the keyhole
>people looking at me like an alien when i tell them I don't celebrate my birthday
>ashing a cigarette slightly to hard causing a chunk of red hot tobacco to fall on my lap
>having dust and pebbles on my bed but never be able to fully get rid of them
>come home from work and find out that my cat pissed on my bed for no apparent reason
>wiping my ass until there is virtually nothing left, only to feel an itch a minute after leaving the bathroom
>>25364008
>Lonely, no one to talk to
>Threads on r9k are too slow
>Go on omegle
>Only dicks and creepy torsos
>Talk to an old guy
>Seems normal
>Turns out he is looking for young handsome men
>"Lol good luck ol timer"
>I ask him what he did for a living
>Ph.D in engineering that designed F3 cars and wrote educational books
>Even mankind's smartest are just a bunch of fucking perverted losers
>>25364089
well I mean, it is omegle.
>>25364174
I actually missed r9k after that experience.
>150,000 people die every day
>you're not one of them
>>25363920
you could be tomorrow
post contact info bb
Actually no, I die a little every day.
>wage cuck
>small talk with bosses's boss about stupid fucking football
>I ask who won the hyman trophy award last year
>"the... what?"
>You know.. The hyman trophy
>Do the pose I remember where I lift my knee and press an arm out.
>They stare at me.. and get very weird
>I see them walk away and point towards my office with a disgusted look on their faces.
>Is my career over?
lmfao this nigga
>there are people literally making a living recording themselves playing video games
Why do people watch other people play something instead of playing it themselves. What the fuck is wrong with the world?
>>25363690
Because I can't afford the consoles or the games. I'm a poorfag you asshole.
This thread is dedicated to my fellow weeaboo brothers
Join in on the discussion of our natural lives and how we wish we were enjoying the cherry blossoms in Japan right now
Rude people need not apply
>>25363865
>Rude people need not apply
w-what about lewd people
![Screenshot from [HorribleSubs] YuruYuri S3 - 12 [1080p].mkv - 5.png](https://i.imgur.com/6Mz1c04.jpg "Screenshot from [HorribleSubs] YuruYuri S3 - 12 [1080p].mkv - 5")
>tfw not enjoying drinking juice from a sake cup under the cherry blossom trees with friends
>>25363895
Lewd brothers allowed
Just keep it to a minimum, rumor has it that the janitor hates 2D girls
What are you fags doing?
I'm at red lobster enjoying a 4 course meal
Enjoy Work Plebs
fuck you im enjoying a comfy ass steak when i get off my shift, your probably have no job and no life cause your NEET
>>25363685
I'm sure you really need 4 courses you fat, disgusting bastard.
>work
I'm sitting at home with my dick out.
Still waiting for Doomed Anon to report back. Last time he posted, he said he got picked up by a friend. Where is this nigga.
>inb4 he was making it all up
I know, but I want his story to continue.
I'm just here for the
>mouthmating
>>25363857
He met his doom obviously
>>25363857
Mouth mating with Tyrone in a cell somewhere.
>>25364179
Probably, nigga. Smh, desu.
Fuck him. Fahad Firas. Fuck this sack of shit. I tried to reach out to him and he just blocked me. Fuck this ugly degenerate sanddune Chad.
Body dysphoria is what it is. Go ask /fit/, moron.
Who /ugly/ here? For years I've been using drugs trying to counteract this. I would actually be semi okay looking high as fuck, but I just got kicked off my meds and financial support, so now I'm just a strung out ugly faggot. I hate looking in the mirror, it crushes my soul everytime, but I have to do it, it's like a knee jerk reaction I can't help
>>25363798
What kind of freak drugs have you been taking to counteract this. Unless you have the worst bitch resting face in the world, you sound delusional.
>>25364100
Mass amounts of stimulants, usually around a gram a day of whatever I can get my hands on from meth to ephedrine to propylhexedrine to cocaine, I would swallow 200 2mg caplets of loperamide a day a lot, shoot heroin, eat bottles of hydrocodone and lean. also when I could I would take upwards of 20mg clonopin or other benzos to counteract anxiety and then drink on top of all that. I was also on vyvanse 70mg for a long time, but I would usually need more than two or three a day at least. Trust me I was going hard in the paint
>>25364100
I forgot 3 fpm and rc benzos too. I think doing all these mass drugs have made me uglier in a way maybe too. It's like a self actualizing cycle of fucked up. I need to find a way to get some money so I can just OD, it's just hard to even leave the house I'm so fucking ugly
Who /Animal Crossing/ here? Got my development permit in New Leaf and donated lots of stuff in the museum. I must say that I've been very productive.
>>25363785
Let's play bro. I dint have my ds on me. You got a Skype or kik?
Was there a new one recently? I own new leaf
>>25364017
Only a home designer one and a board game for WiiU. No real one since new leaf.
Have any of you ever been in a fight? Beaten up?
I only have this one experience
>eating lunch one day in HS with a couple guys
>friend of one of those guys comes up with another guy that none of us knew
>the stranger guy is a douchebag chad from the get-go
>tells me to give him a chicken nugget
>"nah fuck off"
>he just stares at me for legit like 60 seconds while the conversation continues around us
>suddenly walks up to me and takes my lunch tray and tosses it on the ground
>"tell me to fuck off again" he says
>he's got at least 50lbs on me but for some reason I get brave and stand up
>look him right in the eye and say "FUCK. OFF."
>he grabs my face like it's a baseball and I blindly punch his chest
>dudes around us pull him off and he leaves
>hungry the rest of the day
>be me in middle school
>alpha prik showing off in PE
>I'm leaning against wall near group of hot fems
>alpha decides to fight me to show off to girls
>throws a few playful swings but I know what he's getn at
>starts to grab me and we start to grapple
>within a minute I have him in a head lock and he's panting trying to salvage his alpha image before the eyes of 8 Latina qt3.14's
>I let him go and walk off he's on the ground panting
>No one ever fucks with me again
>girls start thinking I'm chill and tough
>tfw I'm to much of an autist to notice my own inner badass and use it to my advantage
>>25363772
>me and this mexican are supposed to fight one on one
>he brings 4 friends
>get my shit rekt
>go to the hospital
>my friends don't side with me so im in the red
fucking california
>be in 1st year of HS (england)
>cocky middle class boy starts getting cocky to everyone to show off to the sluts
>he tries with me and i tell him to go away nicely
>he slaps me
>i grab him round the neck and put him on the table
>strangle him so hard he begins cry and his face goes red
>let go of him because he starts struggling to breath and just go back to writing on my book
>everyone is looking at me and i'm like "DINDU NUFFIN' I SWEAR"
>have to stay behind after class and give him an apology
>be me in a relationship with a very attractive girl for the last 3 years
>for the last few months things got cold between us
>also be a photographer
>a few weeks back I took some pictures of this really hot petite girl
>somehow ended banging the shit out of her
>she seemed really into me but after a few days she started to distance herself
>a few days pass and I travel to another town for the holidays
>take some more pictures of this really cute actress friend of mine
>end up making up but no sex
>it was great and I fall a bit for her
>she shows no interest in doing anything else
>now I'm really confused
So what shall I do, continue to bang random ladies behind my gf back?
Or try to see if I can get things straight with my gf?
Also I been a photographer for a few years now and this is the first time that I end up messing around with the models, dunno why suddenly it happened
>>25363620
>>also be a photographer
Top kek. Everyone has a smartphone these days, everyone has access to instagram which means there's no such thing anymore. Taking photos doesn't require any skill so what separates you from everyone else?
>>25363620
This is the most normie problem ever
![john-lattner-heisman[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/pHUtrJX.jpg "john-lattner-heisman[1]")
