I'm convinced my life would be perfect if only a girl would breastfeed me like once a week.
>>27671887
GTFO normie. Desperate virgins like you are ruining our board. Tumblr exists for worthless piles or your calibur for a reason.
Don't listen to this boring guy here >>27673490. I love some boobies as well, especially when they are beautiful. From the texture to the movement to the traces left on the feminine skin, it takes good taste and curious eyes for true appreciation of a pair of wholesome breasts.
>>27671887
Dude, fucking same.
Hi, I'll try keep this as short as possible. I've not been pursuing women for a few years now, as I have had to set my priorities and focus my attention on them. However, that has changed.
Today I went to a job interview, there were hundreds of others there in the waiting room. I sat across from a young women and we were chatting for about an hour while we were waiting. It was fun, flowing and a little flirtatious. She had given me many compliments on my appearance, in general it went how I'd ideally see chatting up a lady.
My problem is that, I...
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This is not the best place to ask this question but i'll help you.
Sounds like she's really into you if she gave you her number. Message her on Thursday to meet you Friday.
Go to a quiet bar together and don't talk about work related stuff. Ask her about her interests and music she likes etc. Ask her what place she would like to visit etc and start a conversation from there.
You already have her just be chill.
When you say goodbye to her kiss her on the cheek and let her know that you enjoyed the evening.
Good luck anon :)
>>27671863
not op but how the fuck do you just kiss somebody on the cheek?
everybody says that shit like its so easy
THERE IS SO MUCH DISTANCE BETWEEN MY CHEEK AND HERS
>>27671863
Yo nigga you should become a dating expert.
Anyways I didnt expect to meet anyone sane around. It feels good to be wrong ^_^
>be me
>be fat
>slip in shower
>can't roll onto my stomach
>call ambulance
>here nock on door
>'anon, are you on there?"
>can't reply, throat fat holding me down
>hear ambulance leave.
How long until I die robots? My phone is at 9% charge and I'm 300 pounds....
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>>27671780
lmao this isn't real. Good thread though OP/
>>27671780
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQlpDiXPZHQ
>>27671780
can't you use a rocking motion, to bring yourself to your knees? Once you on your knees you should get up.
Anyways who brings his phone into his shower booth?
What is the most damaging thing someone has ever said to you, and that you still shudder to remember to this day?
"Can you hand me the salt?"
>>27671727
"This is why you're going to die alone and alcoholic"
Said by my crush 3 years ago, in my senior year of high school.
>>27671792
It's probably true though.
a girl you know approaches asks you out for pizza.
you're not quite sure if it's a date or not but its going alright, you're having a pleasant enough conversation and she doesn't seem disgusted by you.
then the receipt comes and she says
>"hey anon, i don't have any money with me"
what do you do?
>me neither, let's dash
Is that all she says?
I would say "that sucks" in a funny kind of way to where she doesn't know if I'll be willing to actually pay for her. That should prompt her to beg for it. Then you can say "well what do I get in return?" This will probably turn into some cutesy banter, and you'll probably end up paying for the both of you still. Regardless, I definitely wouldn't immediately offer to pay like some faggot. The days of throwing your coat down for some bitch to cross a puddle are long gone.
>It's not a problem at all, Cute Girl. Just excuse me for a minute, I have to go to the restroom really quick.
>slowly get up from my seat and make my way across the pizza joint
>walk right out the door without looking back and don't answer her desperate calls
In a ground breaking decision the US government and NASA decide to go back to the old ways of exploration and colonization : Quantity over quality. Anyone who wants to go on a mission to Mars can go but your safety is less than assured, the living conditions on mars are pretty rough and we learn stuff through trial and errors. The new Terrian-Martian society can't afford parasites so anyone who is NEETing around will be thrown out (= put to death). Life isn't easy, the average life expectancy is short, you will never see earth again, you will never see the end of the...
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>>27671711
I'd go
>suicidal
>/fit/
>escape this gay earth
>always wanted to explore space
That's enough for me to be happy, l always wanted to explore space even if l'm going to die, to suffocate, to die after weeks of pain, it doesn't matter, what matters is that l did what l want to do. And going to space is what l want to do
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjNssEVlB6M
You might like this OP.
>>27671739
>>escape this gay earth
With the very low amount of women there you may end up trapped on a literally very gay Mars kek. Women won't come until life on Mars becomes more confortable but you won't live long enough to see it.
Why are black cocks so mesmerizingly beautiful? Especially for white females?
>>27671696
w-what the fuck is the point in that writing, what the fuck does it even mean. You're not fucking funny not even in an ironic way, KYS
>>27671789
>writing a stutter
You love seeing this shit, don't you anon?
>>27671696
this is some next lvl autism i think
Will falim gum move the maxilla up and fowards?
It's basically mastic gum, meaning it's hard to chew and imitates our caveman predecessor's diet
Sounds like compete bullshit to me.
>>27671638
I definetely helps.
>>27671674
who are you to say it's bullshit? you're a fucking uneducated nobody, i mean let's be real here.
>>27671940
what are your experiences with it
Tfw gf that makes 90k and knows how to cook. Meanwhile, I'm unemployed. Why haven't you found a mummy gf yet?
>>27671614
You Lucky shit. I'm not lucky/dont know where to look.
How do you find one though fampai?
>>27671614
because it does not make you happy
also you are cuck and will get herpes from her sooner or later
I just wanted to have a beautiful daughter with a loving wife.
Why would God curse me with these looks? I just don't understand senpai
same but i wanted 2 sons
nope cant have that
>beautiful daughter
>why do people judge me on looks
>>27671623
Being a dad is the greatest pleasure a man can have dude.
>>27671653
i just want her to be happy. Girls care a lot about their looks and i would need a beautiful wife to get beautiful daughter
Can a single dad adopt a daughter?
Can someone post a noose with a card that has my username written on it? I'll send $2 to your PayPal lol.
I STILL NEED THIS. Fuck it, I'll just go ask someone on HF to do it.
>>27672002
hockeysfuture?
>>27672030
I'm asking on Hack Forums
You should be able to solve this, rowboats.
2/3
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bertrand_paradox_(probability)
Remember to call everyone a retard who says the answer is 50%.
It would definitely be 2/3 if I took the gold ball from the middle box.
>>27671552
sigh....
it would be 2/3 in the example presented in the Wikipedia page.
the way its presented in the image, its 50%
People have been trolling with this on multiple boards all day..
>MISOGYNY!!11 MISOGYNY EVERYWHERE!!11 CHECK YOU PRIVIELEGE CIS SCUM!1111
>WE SHOULD KILL ALL MEN OR CASTRATE THEM!!!! WOMAN POWER!!11
Remind me why men is such beta nowadays that cannot declare a war on woman?
>not all woman
>>27671483
Its because most alphas are not even aware of this shit.
when feminazis say "kill all man" they actually mean kill all sub alpha man
>>27671530
Which brings up the question: Is that really a bad thing?
You think a chad is going to be letting women push him around? I say kill all betas, they're the ones orbiting and making women the way they are. Kill all betas and let chad fucking put them back in their place.
>Cute boi comes in to office
>Says he wants to become a cute trap
>Remind him that this is not a pharmacy
>Demands that I give him tits to go with his cute boi pussy
>Give him a lethal dose of morphine instead
I predict this meme will be short lived. The punchline is too obvious.
i like this forced meme and i don't care whom knows it
would honestly take a lethal dose of morphine right now
What she meant by this ?
>>27671185
She's not us. What do you mean what did she mean? Obviously she is trying to say she doesn't come to r9k
>>27671185
Show off bitch, I've never did anything to her
How big is OP ?