Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 902. page
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So is it wise to finally come right out and admit your feelings to a friend of yours?
It seems like it would be the best way out of the friend zone. Only because you're left with at least two options: them returning your feelings, or now since you got that out of the way you now have a reason, and cause, to walk away from that friendship and spare yourself the grief.
Ionno, what do femanons think of having a guy (or girl) friend admit their feelings to them? Either in the context above (or lack therefore of), or any other scenarios you'd like to include?
On a side note, would it matter -- at all -- what I write in the OP if I attach this image with it? I take it a good chunk of y'all would be too distracted to bother reading this.
The image was not awesome enough to distract me from reading the text. Yes, I think it is wise to communicate your feelings. You gain nothing from holding back that information, you only hurt yourself. If you want to date that person, say it, if it is painful to keep being friend with that person, say it. It's hard and scary but it's the correct decision.
I would prefer it if they admit their feelings to me. Rather than leaving me in the dark.
Image was pretty cool. I wouldn't have read your post if I hadn't seen it. Good choice.
Now to the issue at hand. I'm a dude. Here's a breakdown. This would apply to a guy friend as well btw:
1. I am not potentially interested.
a. She is not potentially interested. No problem
b. She is interested but hides it.
i. She hides it well. No problem
ii. She sucks at hiding it. That is really weird, and would definitely push me away. I would much rather have her admit it.
c. She is interested and admits it. I would be flattered but explain to her that I'm not. Contact would be weird at first, but friendship would be preserved after some time
2. I am potentially interested.
a. She is not potentially interested. Sucks for me.
b. She is interested but hides it.
i. She hides it well. Sucks for both of us because I would hide it too.
ii. She sucks at hiding it. Still weird, but I would maybe broach the subject over a drink. Then we bang.
c. She is interested and admits it. We bang.
These are all the possibilities I can think of. It seems like in the case of her being interested, the best option would either be hiding it well, or admitting it right out. The latter has the higher reward vs. risk ratio. Do it.
Hey /adv/ I have a problem.
Recently I was in a really dark place and was thinking about suicide. Normally if I feel even close to something like that I keep it to myself because I don't really like seeming like I'm crying for attention and I honestly don't really feel like anyone cares anyways.
But I told a close friend and they talked with me for the night but as we were talking they fell asleep on me and I felt really fucking shitty.
I was pretty upset at them but I wasn't going to make a big deal out of it but the next day they told me they didn't really feel any pressure or anything anyways and that just fucking hurt and I went off.
Am I just being a bitch or is this a really fucked up thing to do?
I told my friend I'm not really upset anymore, but I don't really trust them anymore with deep shit like that since it feels like they don't care anyways but they insist that I'm wrong and keeps apologizing. It's kinda putting a wedge between us if I'm being honest.
What do you think /adv/? I tried asking /b/ but that's not really something that works very often.
Am I in the wrong? Or is my friend?
Well, yeah they handled that all wrong and basically admitted to calling your bluff, in a sense. Seems like your close friend isn't as close as they appeared
>>17110864
I wasn't bluffing. I never really said I was going to do it. Just that I was thinking about it.
But I'm glad I'm not the only one that thinks so.
Thank you.
>>17110968
I know, I just mean in how it was interpreted and they didn't feel 'pressure' about being there for you
So I want to ask this chick to prom
I want to do something with the
game of thrones. please help.
>>17110823
Ask her to prom, then murder her and her entire family.
>>17110871
kek
>>17110823
Write her a love story then create a TV show based on it and shit all over the script
>Engineering Major, working on AS right now
>Going into robotics
>Considering a computer science AS before I transfer for my bachelor
That being said, I want a strong background in computer science. I have some experience with Linux and can do some things here and there but I want to be proficient in it.
My college offers a course on Linux/Unix, though the class wont count towards my degree, should I buckle down and take the class next fall semester or focus on my required classes and hopefully learn Linux on my own down the road?
don't worry about learning linux unless you want to be a sysadmin or a systems dev
what is your end game
Just install Linux on your computer and use it.
>>17110811
Don't even worry about it for that.
Become familiar and comfortable with it by using it as a daily OS, but 95% of businesses utilize windows for their servers because of cheap technet subscriptions.
help me 4chan youre the best
>be me kissless virgin fag
>really liked a girl
>dated a couple of times
>she kinda flirts with me, texts me everyday and have told me im cute a couple of times
should i hit on her cuz theres some issues
>lost interest in woman since like two years ago so i dont care even if someones hits on her instead
>i have this strange feeling that i would be a crappy boyfriend for any girl
So give your thoughts plz
thats her i know she ain't cute but i really like her and also shes like a very nice girl
>>17110779
>lost interest in woman
Clarify: Have lost interest in women, or have lost interest in this particular woman?
She's a cutie pie and seems to like you. You already know you'll be a bad boyfriend, so don't be a boyfriend since you already recognize you might be. Just go for it.
>Brother had disabling accident at 3 yrs old, a few months before I was born
>Dilemma tore mom/dad apart, as dad worked to get away from stress of brother's new reality, mother left to take care of us both herself while he worked
>When I was of age to generally fend for myself, I did my own thing. Video games, playing pretend, or outside with neighborhood pals. Mom had to return to taking care of just brother 24/7, so I was left to myself
>Only around parents (mainly mom) for meals, bathing, trips to store, or bedtime. Never grew a solid relationship with mom/dad because o fit
>Age 10, dad decided to get me into his hobbies. Sports, household chores, etc. At that age I still valued my alone time, and fought with him to not have to do things with him until 17
>Mom still spiteful towards dad, her venting to me, in turn made me spiteful towards dad as well. Made me idolize mom, demonize dad
>Age 15, started learning things from dad. Half of mom's claims were about 75% true, bending truth to make dad look particularly bad
>Didn't believe claims until I started bonding with dad, she would make white lies to try to tear us back apart, drive me back to her
>Started slowly resenting mom for a year. Really argued with her over anything.
>19 now and over it all. Never resented parents for how my childhood turned out. It made me independent, but at the same time, I only see them as caretakers, not friends. My dad and I occasionally do something, but rarely. I don't have anything in common with mom anymore, and don't feel the need to fix it. Seeing dad and I get along bitters her. Am I shitty for not wanting a "friendship" with my mother? I can do VERY small talk, but just don't connect with her, and don't feel a need or desire to.
>>17110764
No your not a little shit as long as they know you love them because that is all they have for you. I had a similar but different relationship with my parents. Dad did what ever he wanted regardless of what was important for the family so he would buy himself things and we would miss a power bill, he also treated me and my brothers like friends not sons. Mom made the sacrifices and had to control the money so we could eat. Parents got divorced and both talked shit about the other. Dad convinced me mom was a bitch but i would realize the truth as the years went on. She was there for me because he couldn't bother to be. She would talk shit about him constantly and berate me for all my choices. I despised both for the longest time, but my punishment for them was being a little shit. For mom i would have nothing to do with her and criticize her and her beliefs with dad i spent time with him but i was never personal with him. He didnt see a single one of my report cards until i graduated high school and never heard about me flipping a car. He became desperate for info and figured i hated him. He often ask if he is a good dad and i respond "you arent a bad dad."
Mom is bitter because i even talk to my dad.
Just make sure your parents know you love them. Just dont be that piece of shit who puts his parents in a nursing home and never visits.
Fuck your parents, you are not supposed to be friends, that's some new age shit. Visit them, keep them informed about your life events, get informed about theirs.
How is your brother, try to be his friend, apart from saying he had a disabling accident you didn't mention anything more.
>>17110848
I didn't mention much about him because there's nothing much for me to mention. We used to be close until things just changed. I honestly don't know what happened. He's in a wheelchair and can only verbalize through mumbles. He expresses emotions through squeals, yells, and his arm movements. His motor skills are very low. He is mentally about a 13 year old. He slowly started to get frustrated with me being around him (Mother thinks he's upset that I can do all these things physically and he can't, which frustrates him) I haven't had a solid relationship with him since I was maybe 14. Sometimes walking into a room will tick him off and he'll start screaming, but my father and I both notice that when it's just my dad, brother and I, he's fine. He laughs and smiles. But around my mother and I, he gets angry. My dad thinks "He just wants to be one of the guys, and he can't do that with mom on his back 24/7"
I'm leaving for college in a few months, and honestly with the situation, my dad says "I want you to come home to visit, but don't feel like you have to. Your mother will drive me crazy but we want you to be happy."
I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 months, and i'm having some serious doubts about it. I like him a lot, but he moves very fast. he is head over heels in love with me, but i think it's puppy love really. but he is willing to do anything for me, and he has proven that many times over. overall, he likes me a lot more than i like him. I'm into him, and i dislike the thought of him leaving me, but it's like i can't get into him at the level he is into me.
I don't know what to do. do i wait it out, and expect my like to grow into love as time goes on? and what if it doesn't? does he not deserve a SO that loves him the way he loves me? he has made it clear he has long term plans, but i'm kinda iffy. He's also a bit selfish when it comes to sex, and it really bugs me.
>>17110701
there are 2 things you could 2.
1. dump him and find someone that will fit better you expectations. An then dump the next guy and move to someone else because you will always be unsatisfied cunt... or
2. talking to him and resolve things as adults (that you are assumingly are) instead of posting about it in anonymous chinese cartoon forums.
the choice is yours.
>>17110701
You probably push him away for no reason at all. And you think that him reaching out to you is love or something. He probably is not as into you as you think. Maybe he just wants to talk to you, instead of you pushing him away.
You're probably a whore and can't handle any kind of serious relationship.
>>17110701
I was the head over heels boyfriend in this situation a few months ago, and then she dumped me and completely shattered my heart and self esteem. Now she's off laughing and continuing on as normal while I'm stuck in near depression. She never told me what I did wrong so I don't even know what I could do differently in the future.
Talk to him, OP. Get out of your own head and actually ask him what he wants. You may think he deserves better, but that is you being selfish if all he wants is you.
So I've been friends with this girl for awhile now... We have a couple of classes together in college and such. Anyways we've talked pretty much every day this year via text/snapchat/fb messenger... I've had feelings for her, but she has had a boyfriend this whole time... They broke up about 2 weeks ago... Last week we actually started calling each other to talk, I asked her if she wanted to go to the movies last Sunday. She said yes, we went had a blast. Next few days have had us talking on the phone late... She says stuff like she should go to bed but she enjoys talking to me... We've been talking about our feelings lately and I have reason to believe she likes me... But tonight we were talking and she says that she is starting to like someone a lot. And they make her happy... Part of me thinks it's me, the other part of me is jealous eclipse I think it could be someone else too... We've talked about going to the movies again and such and have agreed we should go see some movies when they come out... So I guess /adv/ why I'm asking is, do you think she's into me, and how do I tell her I like her... I never told anyone when I was in HS that I liked them, but now I really want to tell her... What should I do?
>>17110692
Don't go to the movies go somewhere you can both talk freely and openly, like a restuarant or some shit. Get some drinks in you or something so you have a little bit of liquid courage then go from there man. Don't mention you have feelings for her because that could make things awkward and a bit weird even if she has feelings for you. Just openly flirt and have some fun and when you're walking home say something along the lines of "I had a great time tonight" or "I really enjoy hanging out with you" look her in the eyes for a couple of seconds if she doesn't look away kiss her.
Well yeah after the movies we went and got ice cream at a local place and we both enjoyed our time together... Later after I dropped her off at her place she messaged me later saying she had a blast with me and of course I told her I had a great time too.
>>17110721
Say it in person fuck this texting bullshit, look deep into her ayes and kiss her man. I know it seems like this massive hurdle but seriously this girl sounds like she does like you so just go for it and if you get rejected who cares you now know this girl wasn't into you so you don't have to wallow in self-pity asking yourself "What-ifs?" Do it dude have some confidence about it to know that this saturday you're gonna kiss this girl.
In law school. Met this guy at the start of the semester. Hes a little older then me and my friends (23 and hes 27). He is really nice, we have a lot in common, but he never ever comes out or hangs out with anyone.
>Ask him if he wants to come out
>Says hes going to see a movie by himself
>lives by himself
>Says he likes to drink Jameson on the weekends
>With who i asked
>Myself he responds
>Ask him if he thinks any girl is cute at school
>Says he prefers to be alone
He seems incredibly lonely and sad. Should I do anything /adv/ or just let him be, I think he really needs a friend.
Is he literally me?
He has social anxiety and depression
Ask him to do something with you. For me, that's the next step to take towards friendship.
>>17110689
He might be depressed by its not effecting his life it seems. Top 1/4 of the class
He says he has a best friend back at home, and hes content with just that.
I called this girl I know and asked her to go to the movies on Friday and she said sure.
How am I sure it's not platonic, but romantic instead? We went out sunday and she kept touching me and scratching my back which I gauged as interest, but I don't know if I waited too long to ask her out.
We've talked every day since then except today where I called her around 10 when she happened to just get out of work.
You gotta touch her without being creepy, maybe gently touch her lower back. But be flirty and if things go good then ask her at the end of the night.
>>17110646
Should I ask her where we stand before or after going out?
I don't want to waste money if I don't have to..
>>17110651
Naw don't do the "where do we stand" thing, it's lame and will lead to second guessing on her part, you have to be blunt. Just do your think and at the end of the night make your move.
Recently I've become friends with this girl at my school, lets say maybe 2 months ago. We have a class together and I always sit with her. Anyway, we were snapchatting and texting constantly for a good while, which included alot of flirting, and we hung out one on one a few times. I started to develop feelings for her.
Then out of nowhere she hooked up with some guy, which shocked me for a couple days. Of course I didnt tell her that. Then things went back to normal, with the constant flirting and whatnot. We even started facetiming fairly frequently.
Then she told me she was hooking up with another guy last weekend, some sophomore. I told her that I had a thing for her and that I'd rather not have her talk about her hook ups with me. She said something like "Thats good to know" and pretty quickly things were back to normal, with the facetiming and whatnot.
I figured I'd ask her to prom and then ask her out when the time was right, so I asked her this morning, with a cheesy poster and all that. She said yes, and she seemed happy about it, she hugged me and had this huge smile on her face and all that. And then she sent me pic related after school.
I feel so fucking shitty, an enthusiastic yes to prom and then she sends me this. This fucking girl went into my phone and added a bunch of stupid heart emojis after her name, called me "hot as fuck" on more than one occasion, rests her legs on me in class. I fell for her like an idiot, and now I pay the price.
I literally allowed myself to become a beta orbiter but I didnt see it till it was too fucking late. I cucked myself /adv/
I've accepted that I cant change the way she feels, now the question is how do I respond? I've already been silent for a while. And how the hell do I take her to prom now? Im gonna take her and then afterwards she goes over to her new bf's house and fucks him? Fuck that. I dont even know where to go from here.
Please help /adv/, Im completely lost in this situation.
>>17110603
Sorry for the wall of text
Don't take her to prom. This is the definition of when guys say girls are retards and why men don't understand women. Don't take her, she's a bitch. Go to prom and rub your junk on another girl and have fun.
>>17110603
Take her to prom, then fuck her. You've gotten seduce her man. Sounds like shes playing hard to get, go for it.
It sounds like she's telling you, you better pounce or I'm moving on.
What's it like to be lonely?
>>17110570
pretty shitty desu
being alone when you want to be is pretty cash though
A lot of unspoken words
>>17110571
Are you lonely?
How is it even possible to improve my confidence when EVERY girl I meet ghosts me? Every. Fucking. One. It's heartbreaking, its traumatizing. By the time I finally pull myself together from the last time i was left high and dry, I meet a new one, she seems cool like she'd never do such a thing, and then she does, after getting pretty close and sleeping in my bed nonetheless. They all are seemingly into me or at least pretending to me, then the next day I'm dead to them or never existed in the first place. All I ever get is a tease.
I get that this is just something that's always going to happen every now and then when you date, but for me it happens EVERY FUCKING TIME! and each time it happens, another piece of my self-esteem dies, which I'm sure makes me more and more unappealing.
How are you supposed to work on your confidence when it gets shit on constantly?
>>17110544
Do other things. Do you work out? Keep a healthy diet? Engage in interesting hobbies that you're passionate about?
Those are like the three pillar of self-esteem, along with your social life. Focus on yourself, not on the girls. Stop seeking them actively; you should be your top priority, not them.
And that's the problem with PUA culture, I think. They tell you to focus on yourself, but ironically they still make you build your confidence around girls, which makes you almost dependent on their response.
>>17110653
This. 100%.
Confidence is not something you build directly, but rather a byproduct of fulfillment in your life.
Dude. I'm going through the same shit. I've basically accepted a hermit life at this point. Fuck feelings.
I have an internet friend coming over to town soon that I've always found extremely handsome and I'd like to surprise him with sex. We never saw eachother irl and he doesnt even know i'd want that from him.
Should I do it? If so, what are your tips?
Smile and say "hey, we should fuck"
They have no idea you have interest in them at all?
>>17110521
Answer the door on all fours with your ass in the air, give a few quick wiggles when he looks down.
what is wrong with my plants? please help
They aren't growing correctly.
>>17110476
The leaf tips look like they're turning brown.
>>17110476
Have you tried using soil instead of dog food?
![linux_and_windows[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/8ReZAfR.jpg "linux and windows[1]")
