Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 900. page
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Hello, this is my first time on /adv/. I am a twenty year old male who is doing very well academically within a highly valued business study. I am also setting up my own business at the same time and moved put of the house when I was just 18 to another part of the country. However, when I spent a weekend (or, in rare ocassions, a week) at the elderly home, my father is far from being a friendly figure to me.
It is the little things. Usually I try to do some nice things, like getting food for the bbq or taking the pillows down form the attic for the outside furniture because the winter has ended or I help to do other chores and things. Generally, things that are nice and arent expected of me.
However, instead of a thank you, I always get criticised or followed up with some command. "Did you close the doors correctly" "did you put the empty bottles in the glass container" "well took you long enough to help". Always spoken in mildly annoyed tone. Never a thank you.
But when my fat, ocd plagued, anti social bitch of a sister (who has openly stated to leech of my parents till she is at least 23 and has no idea what to do for education after high school) does something, its all praise and halleluja.
For example: I had made the table ready for dinner and after dinner my father said I had to help putting everything in the dishwasher. I stated that maybe my sister could help, as the only thing she had done is come down to eat. "No I am asking you anon, not your sister" a fight ensued and even mother backed me up (she usually just keeps quiet in fights between me and my father).
This might all seem petty to you, but this is a general theme in my life. And these little things add up to a lot, as I feel my father does not like me at all and has no respect for me. What can I do guy? I already tried talking to him but he either starts gas lighting or he trivializes the issue. Like I am some kind of moron, while I am probably the smartest guy in the family. Any other tips?
persnoally I'd suggest to care about what your family thinks just about as much as you care about what any random person thinks.
But, if you think the situation is somehow salvageable, the one best thing you can do is one evening you sit them up at the table and talk all this shit through. This really needs to be not a casual "so i was thinking", but, "please come and sit, I have things to talk throough". It's insanely difficult to do, and I wouldn't expect just anyone to do something like this, tho. I know I probably wouldn't.
My bets are on the fact that your father is a dick, or is generally a bitter person and you should not give him all the power he has on your happines.
Even if he's not a bad person, he's probably disconnected and unable to express his feelings. That's a toxic thing, and you should just stay away.
One general tip that applies is try to look at your situation from outside, besides from the inside of your situation.
Source: I'm just a stranger on the internet.
Since your mother backed you up, perhaps this is something you could discuss with her? You could tell your mother what you just told us and ask her what she thinks of it. Does she thinks you're raising a fuss about nothing? Did she notice that you are not thanked properly for your good intentions? Does she also have the feeling that you're treated unfairly? Can she think of any reason why your father would act this way toward you? Does she agree that there is preferential treatment towards your sister? As the long term partner of your father she is the one who knows...
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>>17111593
An ageing man beginning to feel his powers wane looks at a younger man at the peak of his.
Do you think that a bit of resentment - not at the boy but at the unfairness of life - might ensue?
Why did people do this in the past ?
Do you think it'll ever make a comeback and become legal and socially acceptable ?
>>17111586
>in the past
Domestic abuse is still a thing dipshit
The reason is simple.
Women are incredibly manipulative and emotionally abusive. Not only that, but they are most likely physically abusive as well but they are too weak to do any damage. Almost all of my GFs and Friends GFs have gotten physical with their guy. They throw shit, push, spit, kick, and punch but whatever.
Men in general are a bit less emotionally abusive as they aren't really in tune with that...
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>>17111586
>Why did people do this in the past ?
They had the same motives now as they did then. Some did it because they lost control of themselves, others did it in an attempt to exercise control over their spouses (or others).
>Do you think it'll ever make a comeback aand become legal and socially acceptable ?
Doubtful. Among other things, even in places and times when it was legal, it was generally still frowned upon, especially when someone did it habitually. Any social tolerance was grudging at best.
People in the past lived an harder life. The more people have an hard life, the more they develop mental problems. Mental problems cause people to be unstable and that's when random fits of violence occur. Violence was overlooked as a whole, and that's why there was also overlooked violence in marriage. Everybody was a big ball of nerves waiting to explode. We are currently in the most peaceful period that humanity as ever seen. This is because we have unprecedented quality of life. Beating up your spouse is now a relic of the past that belongs to a minority of people with severe mental illnesses. It's not going to come back unless we nuke ourselves backward and regress in civilization progress.
Is too much jacking off bad for you?
It takes me like an hour or so to jerk off. I stay hard for an hour or more probably .
I do this 3 times a day. Is this bad ?
>>17111561
Yeah, stop falling for the porn jew and the death grip jew. Women don't find an excessive masturbator attractive either.
probably
>>17111565
How would women even know
I am early twenties femboy and my college teacher is in late 40s. She has called me squishy while giving me a big smile. She has rubbed my shoulders multiple times when she walks around class. Do you think she is interested in me or is just being very nice since I am a shy outcast.
What think?
>>17111409
Probably just being weird, some people are just like that, they like to touch other people. I used to have a boss who always used to touch my back (both females) and I sort of just accepted that she was like that, no harm done.
>>17111423
I had a boss touch my ass but it was just him being old fashioned.
He took me out to fancy dinners but I had to stop going because he would get mad because I wouldn't go to a motel with him after. Lol he's such a nice guy. How could I accept a free mktel stay, he already bought me dinner!
What a nice friendly boss
>>17111426
You're obviously not serious and you're just trying to mock me, so I'll point out the fact that I was also friends with my boss and I didn't feel it was that weird.
If OP is uncomfortable, tell her or avoid contact with her.
Is it a dick move to put someone into a freindzone? I am talking about a girl I went on a date with, with whom I would like to stay in contact despite having fallen in love with someone else.
Yes, I can absolutely imagine having sex with her if the girl I love turns me away, but I would have no problem if she dates another guy. I actually do want her as a friend, at least for the moment, because I am kind of a loner and have little company to do stuff together with.
Do it. She will just have to understand that you love someone and if she wants you as a friend she'll keep you as one. But if she likes you more than that and wants to be more to you, she'll either cut connection with you, or stay your friend and wait for the opportune moment to pounce back.
>>17111407
>with whom I would like to stay in contact
This isn't up to you. She's under no obligation to keep you as a friend just because you want her to be your friend.
>>17111414
I said " I'd like ", not "She is supposed to". Of course she will most likely just say no. But what if she officially stays as a friend, but secretly still likes me as a man and suffers from it when I don't return her feelings?
How do I get rid of the idea that getting a romantic partner would make me happy?
>>17111372
By getting a romantic partner who makes you unhappy
>>17111372
You don't.
That shit is preprogrammed.
>>17111372
One day a romantic partner may make you happy but that will come in it's own time, don't try and force something that's not there
Started dating this guy 4 months ago, I had never dated anyone prior just because I was always so self concious. All started out great would see him quite often and we would have a great time together, and he would constantly tell me how beautiful I was (because I think he realised that I had shite self esteem issues).
After 2 months I noticed that he'd only speak to me maybe once or twice a week and I'd only see him once a week. Eventually it got to the point where he wouldn't speak to me for 3 weeks and I decided to end it as it was starting to have an emotional...
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Its also the generic thoughts like will I ever find a guy that will like me as much as he did, will I die alone just because so few/no one has ever taken interest in me before
I've just been through a very hard break up too (except it was almost 3 years).
Honestly the best thing I found is to talk to someone (in my case it was a post on here that made me feel better and talking to a person who was basically a stranger). Some people can be total assholes and the even though it is hard right now you will overcome it. I'm sure if you message one of your friends and ask if they can talk they'll be happy to listen. If not, /adv/ can be pretty helpful most of the time. Here to help OP.
>>17111354
Some one will take interest in you, I know how it feels to be worthless and uncared for, left craving affection etc, but there's always someone else.
How do I find dealers? So I know who to avoid of course, heh
How did you find yours?
niggernet
>>17111345
what is this?
College roommate was a dealer so I lucked out. Just ask your friends. I'm sure somebody in your friend circle does drugs.
Hey /adv/,
I started talking to this guy (who is attractive yes) but we're pretty much just friends because of certian circumstances. He makes subtle hints that he also finds me attractive as well. However, when we were talking yesterday, I said that I had never watched any of the original star wars (which he really likes) and then he said:
>oh uh please stop messaging me?
And I haven't heard from him for almost 24hrs. He is a final year med student as well so I can understand that he's busy, but is he actually being...
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I'd say he's probably kidding. It's hard to imagine someone that's not socially retarded seriously having that reaction.
>>17111254
Do you think I should say something or just leave it until he gives up?
>>17111256
Say something.
I have a female friend who is seriously considering becoming a prostitute. It's not a fleeting thing, she's been mentioning and researching it for months, maybe longer.
I feel as though I should be the one to provide counter arguments, because I'm not sure but it doesn't seem like she tells anyone else about this, and I'm not really inclined to encourage her. It's her life and she's just about cluey enough to at least stay clean and safe, and obviously I'm not going to get all butthurt about it, but it still seems like a bad idea,...
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>>17111232
tell her if she does you'll be her first customer
>>17111235
I did actually use basically that (I said her customers would be pretty much me) and she said they would be like me but "stoopider" and that she'd have sex with that for $200.
Is it for the money? You could try to tell her she could become a sugar baby instead. There are older wealthy guys out there who will compensate a young girl for her company.
So I have a crush on this girl in class but after talking to her and looking at her social media posts it's becoming pretty clear that she is at least a little autistic.
Any advice on whether or not this information matters?
>>17111164
im autistic and i feel that if i had an autistic gf stuff would be easier maybe
>>17111183
oh and im not OP i just thought this
>>17111183
Just take comfort in the fact that your only ailment is thinking too masculine
Pretty simple, I'm a 20 year old virgin who's in college with not much income.
I have little social life, even though I've had girlfriends before.
I can talk to girls but I find sexual experiences awkward. Should I get a prostitute to take my virginity?
bump because 4chan knows best right
>>17111147
bump this time with spirit
>>17111147
nigga 20 is when your sexual life should bloom. and your in college as well? the long-term solution, and also the only logical one, is to learn how to pick up girls (and friends as well).
How do you deal with ridiculous amounts of pent up sexual frustration that doesn't go away?
Be my gf
>>17111146
no ty
>>17111150
Pls
>be me
>decide to give life another shot after some failed suicide attempts
>put a lot of effort into being more positive for a couple of weeks
>one night, I'm really exhausted from trying to get back into shape, but can't sleep
>put on some depressing music to fall asleep to (wasn't intended to be depressing initially, just happened to be the first relaxing shit to come to mind)
>fall...
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>>17111123
Bump
I'm in the same situation. Each time i make any effort to make my life better it lasts at best around 10 days and then i fall back into depression.
Sometimes it feels like something in my mind literally grabs me and drags me back into depression, and i'm like "please no i don't want to go back there". If it makes any sense. I guess it sounds ridicolous.
>>17111123
You keep yourself busy. You alott yourself time to be depressed and then tell yourself "NO!" after that time is up.
Like, sometimes, I'd choose a day once every 2 or 3 weeks where I'd just let myself slouch back and feel sad, and then gear back up and get ready to move on.
Make a schedule. Live by that schedule. Live for working. Live for keeping yourself busy. Live for bettering yourself constantly.
>>17111169
Seems risky... but probably worth giving it a go.
I guess as long as you're conscious of it you have better control over it.
cheers anon.
am i over thinking htis
>flight tomorrow at 7am
>boarding time starts at 6am
>the first bus leaves for the airport at 5:15am
>it takes45 minutes to get to the airport
>so id show up as they claim to be boarding ,but its such a small plane seems weird to board early
am i over thining this or should i get a fucking cab? usually it takes me like 10 minutes to get through TSA even though its LAX. kinda nervous
>>17111117
You're not overthinking. You know you are taking a risk and want reassurance
A Thursday morning flight at LAX shouldn't be too busy and you'll probably make it right after the first group boards, but if TSA is backed up or there's bad traffic you only have about a 30 min buffer
My advice? Be safe and take a cab
>>17111117
here in yuropoor you should always be 2 hours early or something for your flight
its not like a bus where you can 'just take the next one'
>>17111117
just go early
> tfw I missed the flight from san diego to portland and had to drive 19 hours there with ~$600 less in my bank account
