Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 894. page
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>Age 26 electrical engineering student.
>Get a job on my parent's city. Call my dad if I could crash there, because 40km commute will be 3km instead.
>Everything is good.
Queue fucking weird. Everything is seemingly good, yes? I make more cash than my parents combined and got my own place. It's just easier to commute from my parents place rather than from my own.
I always though my parents would be happy for me being remotely successful at least to the point I can support myself.
Today though my mother told me to kill myself and that she hates me and wishes I was dead.
I don't know how feel with this at all. I was stunned, I asked what the fuck she was on about and the response was to get the fuck out her house and everyone would be happier if I was dead.
This is not an exaggeration. Nor anything I did to warrant this explosion. It's pretty fucking weird to have your mother scream that you should kill yourself.
I took the clue though and got the fuck out. 1 hour more commute is a fine price to pay for not having insanity thrown at you. This is more like offmychest than seeking advice, I know. But I seriously don't know how to even begin to feel about this. I repeat the words in my mind and it makes me sad and angry simultaneously.
I don't even know how to deal with this. I'll have to see this fucking person in family meetings and all I think is that she wants me dead, while she acts like it's no big deal.
Am I nuts? How can I deal with this?
Talk to your dad, ask him what's going on.
>>17101139
>Am I nuts?
No, your mom is.
>>17101144
this. regardless of whatever you might not be tellign us, your dad will shoot it straight wiht you. surprised he hasnt already.
etiher way if you can support yourself oyu should.
im so curious as to your logic though. you were kepeing your old place but living with your parents? why not just get a new place closer to work?
I had and i still feel depressed.
My situation is depressive for me.
Thru the last three years i have lost quite a lot for me monies many friends.
But depression and alienation took away some self confidence and i feel strange every day.
I did not date from 3 years and i feel like i have forgot how to do it.
I pass quites every day but i really did not do it for some time.
From what to start do you have some advice ^advice ?
>>17101100
had what?
>>17101119
I was doing antidepressants.
>>17101161
if you take anti depressants and are still depressed than you arent clinically / chemically depressed. you just are reacting to your life as it is and you dont like it.
generally changing the things you dont like is how you fix.
What the fuck is wrong with me /adv/? 3 months in and completely obsessed/in love with ex
>Tells me from very beginning that he hates women and they’re all the same - but then says he doesn’t remember how many women he’s slept with.
>Argue constantly from beginning over his weed addiction, scumbag friends & hanging out with girl he used to fuck
>Says he doesn't have any money to do anything or pay for any food/electricity - turns out all spent on weed
>Flat so cold you can see your breath in air, he refuses to pay for heating
>Friends tell him I'm not good enough for him, 'pretty' but he could do better - asked if I deserved the xmas present he got me
>Tells his friends about our sex life - bragging 'she gives great head' - feel like such a piece of fucking meat
>says if he loses his job he'll commit suicide
>says he's never happy unless high.
>If you quote him but don't use exact words, you're 'manipulating' him
>doesn't reciprocate during sex, lays there on his back and does nothing
>told me we had no future together
>became drug dealer
What the fuck is wrong with me?
Should mention he dumped me on Valentine's night when I asked if he saw a future with us. Then walked past me as I stood crying in the street and didn't say a damn thing/stop, just kept walking. Smh
>>17101018
>What the fuck is wrong with me /adv/?
My armchair diagnosis is incredibly low self-esteem.
You can pay me in pictures of corn.
>>17101037
Accompanying theory is that your dad was a similar piece of shit or completely absent from your life.
So I'm pretty shy and romantically challenged and so far I've only dated very assertive and forward guys. Now I'm hanging out with someone more reserved and because I'm a retard I can't actually figure out if he's attracted to me cause he doesn't come out and say it.
So basically he has implied I'm considered attractive/beautiful and when we hang out and watch a movie or something he's always stroking my arms/hair/back or something. He hasn't tried doing anything more though and he doesn't directly say he's interested. Is that a sure sign attraction or do guys act like that around female friends too? I know I must sound completely autistic but I'm just inexperienced/insecure.
>>17101004
they literally only do it to females they are interested in, you're good to go. you might have to make a move if you dont want to waste any time, btu there is no way in hell this guys gonna reject you.
Have you tried talking to him? half of the time being reserved doesn't mean closed-off it just means it just means they aren't going to loudly blurt things out.
>>17101021
>>17101036
Well I was just asking so I wouldn't be completely off base and make the whole thing awkward. I don't want to come onto someone who just sees me as a friend.
I feel incredibly attracted to him when I'm around him or so much as think about him so I was wondering if that's the thing people call sexual tension or if I'm just being weird and seeing something that isn't there.
Dear /adv/ board,
I am a senior in high school who is about to graduate and recently turned 18. There so happens to be a girl who I recently started talking to who is in 7th grade but will be turning 15 this year. I know what you're thinking, "wow you're sick" okay I get it however there is only a three years difference so fuck off. I am coming to you to tell you a story about this person and I want your opinions and advice. I just recently found out that she has already slept with more than five different guys before, has done drugs (weed so far as I can tell), and has drank before. So she's already done it all and I'm just here barely smoking dabs for fuck sake. Yes I can continue answering questions about her if you ask but this was a brief summary.
#1. Should I just run? The situation is already looking fucked.
#2. Is it wrong liking someone who is about three years younger? What do you think is a more acceptable gap for my current age?
#3. If I do happen to still continue to try, what should I do next? Would it be a bad idea to confront and talk to her about all of this?
hey. i'm 18, my bf is 20. we started dating two years ago, when i was 16 and he was 18. i believe that it happened even if i would 15.
but theres a huge difference between our relationships and your situation. you should think wisely, bro.
she wouldn't change just bc you'll say that she is gone too far. you can try but i guess you'll fail.
you should distract your mind from her. hey boy! you're gonna graduate! there's a new life waiting for you after school. you'll enter the university or college (or find a job, i dunno, it's all okay). maybe you'll even move to another place. think about your future. w/ her you'll never get success and/or a quiet peaceful life.
it's okay. feels are not eternal. hope you'll get better soon.
>>17101136
It's the OP here. I'm hoping to have some sort of influence. I just approached her and asked in my own unique awkward way with a simple "Hey" then we continued to sort of talk. I was cock blocking her from her girl friend but I asked her if we could talk a little after school. Hopefully things go well for me. I also have a ton of facial hair which doesn't make things easier for me in terms of looks (by that I mean I look very old).
>7th grade
>15
She sounds pretarded.
my girlfriend believes its the mans job to get an erection and put your penis in her while she lays there waiting and doing nothing and then do ALL the work in the missionary position until completion.
Is it just me, or is that extremely UNarousing? She'll get on top of me cowgirl, but i still do ALL the work.
I cant be the only one that finds this to be boring, right? That isnt Fun! Right? I fuck her good, and she loves it but its very one sided. Am i crazy for thinking this?!
What the fuck? Am i just a terrible partner for expecting her to do more? which in this case is even doing anything.
for reference in the /r9k/ thread
>>>/r9k/28285156
Do you do ANY foreplay? Maybe she has just no idea what to do. Have you talked to her about it? Is she being annoyed by sex or more shy?
And no. Sex should def not be like that...
>>17100991
we foreplay pretty hard, but its getting difficult because she doesnt like me touching her vagina, and she doesnt want me to lick her anymore. im sexually frustrated, and so is she, but shes had more sex experience than me. But i feel like she doesnt even know how to have sex, but she doesnt understand that my frustration with her is not completely unwarranted. Im just baffled that in her experience she knows nothing.
Yes that boring, the average veiled Muslim is more sexually exciting than that. She isn't horny at all? she has no sexual fantasies? does she even get wet?
gf/date suddenly hardly replies to me anymore
so i met this girl off tinder few months ago and we've been dating i think long enough to call her my gf.
But i havent seen her in a week. We used to see her twice a week but she was on holiday few weeks ago and then I didnt see her for a week. And now she is busy and I havent seen her in a week again.
I read back the texts I sent her and I can see that I am minding this more than her. I come off very needy I think. But I do really miss this chick.
What do? How come she suddenly doesnt show interest or initiative?
I got the feeling i'm ruining it right now as we speak since i'm trying way to hard to settle for a date, but I need to see her at least once or twice a week for this to work.
>>17100933
I suck at typing so i'll greentext
>Two months ago
>Meet girl on tinder
>Instant like her, settle up a date
>Go on dates every since, mostly at our places for movie and sex, but also having dinner, going to the city, even talking about going to the zoo and on holiday
>We see eachother twice a week, really like eachother
>Then she went on holiday and I havent seen her for almost 2 weeks
>She got back I see her once and its like old times
>Now a week later I havent seen her again for a week
>She tells me she is busy
>Doesnt come up with alternative when to meet
>I kinda start to feel I really start to like her and I message her that I miss her and want to cuddle her and cant stand it to be that long without her
>She isnt being very responsive
>I feel with every word I say i'm fucking it up even more
>For every 4 texts I send I get like 1 back
I fucked up didnt i?
Fuck me guys, this is why I didnt want to fall in love.
>>17100933
its tinder, she's obviously found someone else. best case scenario, you're on the backburner for when she's bored.
move on
Could you recomend fun things to do in Cleveland? Im visiting family for two weeks. Im a 25 year old male, not into sports. Cool clubs or bands.
Thanks!
>fun in Cleveland
Killing yourself would be enjoyable.
>>17100922
>fun clubs to take mammy and papi
My voice sounds like shit, any advice on how to fix it?
Here's a sample with my shitty laptop mic, I don't think I sound like this but I apparently do.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0S2ryCXT27U
>>17100853
bump.
>>17100853
yeah you sound kidn of retarded. if you ahve the money consider investing in actual speech therapy. if not, consider googling 'how to change my voice' etc. its mostly for people with accents, but you can too.
my voice is too high. so i purposely lower it. dont do anything other that just talk lower. one person asked why my voice sounded different, said i had a sore throat over the weekend. now its just my voice.
>>17100853
From where do you originate?. I too know the horrors of a shitty voice even if others say lots ok
Hello, /adv/.
I'm a 22yo virgin girl. It's not much of an issue, since I don't actively search for a relationship or look for intimacy.
But I've always been curious about what it's necessary to do to enjoy sex. What turns on a guy? What is a girl supposed to do during sex? It would be nice to read some experiences.
I don't really want to be a starfish if my first time ever comes.
>>17100832
Guys like to know that you're enjoying their efforts, so moans, compliments, body movement in rhythm with theirs, those things are all nice.
Inexperienced guys will be ragingly insecure and will be watching closer for affirmation from you of their sexual prowess.
>What turns on a guy?
Literally most things.
>What is a girl supposed to do during sex?
Be there.
It sounds like you should make your first time with a more experienced guy who knows what he's doing and can teach you.
>severe anxiety and depression over 8 years
>slowly improving but always hitting walls
>in and out of therapy/on off medication
>constantly pushing myself to do things
>excessively introverted, enjoy the company of very few people
>feel like removing most of my friends from my life
>always a receptacle for everyones sadness and emotion, always helping others with their problems
>none of these people care enough to check in on how I'm doing at all
>only chat to me because I'm competent at video games and they need people
I've been dealing with anxiety in particular for years now. I've tried pushing myself out of my comfort zone constantly and forcing myself to do things. Each time I ended up breaking down again. I've been to uni, then left, then gone to work, then left. Nothing interests me anymore except going to the gym and getting excited for new games only to get bored after a couple of days.
I can't plan my life at all becasue everything I've ever wanted to do has been ruined by anxiety. I want nothing more than to die, but I refuse to kill myself because of the strain it would put on my family. I'm at my wits end. Nothing seems to get rid of anxiety and I get really easily annoyed with people. I feel like most of my friends just use me as a conduit for their negative emotions and after I help them they don't care. How do I find meaning in my life when I'm little more than an animal? Everything I do is fear and I can only see more anxiety and depression in the future.
I don't have the answers, I'm sorry, but I just wanted to say I'm in the same boat and I hope you get through this. If you need a friend to talk to I can give you my skype, you can talk to me about how you're doing.
>>17101345
What's your situation at the moment? I don't want to be somebody that just relies on someone like yourself for solving my problems but then doesn't reciprocate.
>>17101349
I just feel kind of stressed and anxious and lost in life. I've been dealing with anxiety and depression for about 8 years now too. Don't have many people to talk to. I've been making it work and getting by as best I can but every day's a struggle. I don't really want to pour it all out here but trust me I have a lot of problems too hah
I broke up with someone recently. It was hard and he was not happy with it. I need to move on.
What should I do with things and photos that remind me of him?
>lock away, out of sight to one day revisit
>completely get rid of it
Is there any possibility you will be in a relationship with this person again?
I would put it away for a while, it shouldn't affect you just being there.
>>17100812
>wat should i do something reasonable or something over the top
dunno anon, how much of a fag are you? obviously locking away is the same as destroying unless you are so weak willed that the ability to look at things and feel bad as a result is too much of a siren's song for you
How do I muster the energy to get out of a stressful living situation that saps me out of all my energy?
Does a suicide attempt count as a medical emergency? Can my employer fire me for missing work from being put in a mental ward?
Someone please, I am desperate to get out of here and my job is the only thread of hope that I have. I need my job to get out of here and I can't lose it because I can't stand living here.
if this thread is real, you need to go see a professional make you feel better person, in fact i'm sure they will have given you some advice and pamphlets and shit at the mental ward
but this doesn't sound real at all
if it is real, try providing a lot less scattered and vague posts and some actual information. like is the problem that you have a job, got depressed and stopped going to work and now you are afraid you don't have a job?
i don't even know bc you can't even fake a plea for help that makes sense
Hello /adv/, I have never posted here before but I am looking for some advice.
I am not very old but I have run into a wall in my life. I have studied and practiced philosophy as long as I have been able to do research and learn on my own. I have always searched for some sort of meaning or reason for existing and in the past I have found it. But I have currently become very nihilistic of the last few years and in a way it has become emotionally stressing while I am unable to change intellectually or philosophically.
Basically my extremely realistic yet pessimistic view point on existence and my life is starting to break me down as a person and I am afraid to face my loved ones. Is there any advice to be had on not loosing my mind or health?
*losing
I don't think you are realistic, I think you're missing big parts of the picture. You're not stoic of course, just too negative. I wont try to give specifics because it's easier just to leave it slap you in the face later.
>>17100793
Why even bother responding if you are only going to say
>You are wrong. I will not give any reason for this statement because I am right and you are wrong.
nihilism is a false conclusion based on the assumption that birth is the beginning and death is the end. look more into the concepts in jainism and buddhism to get out of your hole. birth is not the beginning, death is not the end, yet life is still a meaningless survival struggle; the difference between this view and yours is that yours leads to a dead end and personal stagnation while buddhism leads to nirvana or escape from this vicious cycle of existence via gradual sanctification. your nihilism leaves you a stunted person, just a bleak pessimist waiting blithely for oblivion, when in fact your very stagnation will result in rebirth.
in short, you haven't found the way out, you've resigned yourself to dragging your heels for endless more lives. get pro-active with your life and seek nirvana and see everyone else's lives within this context.
Adv, I have a huge fear of getting a prion based disease like sporadic Cruezfeldt-Jakob, even though the odds are less than one in a million and I'm like 40 years away from when that sort of thing typically shows up in that less than one in a million people. How do I deal with a phobia like this?
>>17100769
Go vegetarian?
I can identify with that fear. I have heard from family members of people who got into accidents and received head wounds and became almost new people. I fear that some how I could change unknowingly as a person. I think it is the fear of letting go of self awareness. I would rather die and be nothing then become something else with the loss of my self. I suppose maybe try to regard the fact we are always changing, and even our memories of the past are changing constantly as we re-remember things as we grow as people.
I think it would be AWESOME to have a deep fear of something that is almost impossible to happen.
I have a deep fear that my youngest kid's leukemia will relapse, or that my wife will inherit the blindness that affected her mom. And I'm definitely afraid that my oldest kid will meet with trouble because he wants to pay for college by applying for ROTC.
You know how you deal with this stuff? Same way you eat an elephant. You take a bite, and then another. You push through it.
OP, you're going to die. So am I. So is everyone who is living right now.
You deal with it by dealing with it, and moving on. If I were you, I'd be more afraid of crossing the street than I am of prions. The odds of trouble happening when you cross the street are infinitely greater than encountering a prion.
