Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 897. page
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g-guys, am i balding?
>>17112978
Yeah, when you part your hair, little baby hairs should sprout out from the exposed part so you should never see your scalp.
That's how the body works
>>17112978
Yes.
>>17112983
How does hair make babies?
So when you ask a girl how she is, and responds with "I'm alright" but doesn't ask you how you are, that's a sign she's not interested, right?
No. There is a thousand reasons that *could* be. Don't put every single word on a scale. Look at the big picture.
This might sound feminist or annoyingly liberal, but you really can't lump all girls into the same category (with this, at least). One girl might say it flirtingly and be super interested. One might say it and just not care about you at all. It's up to you to be non-autistic and figure that out.
>>17112955
Keep on asking her the same question in different ways in order to get her to respond.
I'm a masturbation addict. It's not just that I feel guilty after I masturbation, but that I'm excessive in how frequently and roughly I do it. 2-3 times a day, first thing when I wake up, right before I go to sleep, and sometime in the middle of the day. 1.5-3 hours a day, and my pens is dry and covered in friction burns..
The masturbation in itself is painful, but what I cling on to is the fantasies in my head, where I'm a desirable man with desirable women. I used it to cope with my social isolation (abusive homelife that I'm no longer stuck in), but the habit is still there. I've let myself go, gained weight and lost hygiene.
I want to start taking care of myself. I want to be more self-aware. But I live alone, and when I feel the urge it's so easy to justify the act to myself, thinking that I'm not going to have actual sex anytime soon and my body is disgusting(skinnyfat, covered in skin lesions from psoriasis), so what's the point?
I'm going to mention this to my therapist Saturday, I just need somewhere to start. I need help.
>>17112954
Start fapping to your reflection until you find yourself attractive.
>>17112954
>filename
What?
>>17112954
Masturbation is the symptom, not the problem. BUT...
Your therapist probably won't tell you this, but honestly your logic about fapping for relief because you won't be getting sex any time soon is spot on. Unless you're willing to have no standards, chasing tail is just a train wreck when you don't have your life together.
The PROBLEM with this is that you won't be motivated to get your life together if you're fapping every day to a digital harem of 10/10s and tricking your body into thinking your sexual needs are beyond fulfilled.
I recommend you spend the rest of the day reading this: https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/1ha8yk/how_to_succeed_at_nofap_a_definitive_guide_based/, and all the links it recommends. It will take you several hours to get through it all. When you're done, you'll have opened your eyes about the real harm you're doing to yourself by fapping (and its not fucking balding like your pic suggests. The damage is purely towards your mind.)
God speed OP.
I honestly really dislike being black /adv/. It makes me feel like shit. I consider myself a good person but my blackness always seems to make things weird or harder for me.
For example, it limits me in dating. I could speak to a woman whom I like and not ask her out because I fear she would never date a black guy or her parents would approve.
I am also nervous about my hobbies. I love playing warhammer table top but I feel nervous and jittery because I am often the only black guy in any of my hobbies. I just fear people thinking I am strange.
I hate being reminded I am black. I feel so like... Strange in my own skin. I dont want trouble. I just want to feel as confident as everyone else. Especially in dating.
My confidence is really bad. I assume the worst in almost everything. I need help.
>>17112932
You should be dating black girls. Unless, you're racist?
>>17112937
I am open to dating whoever. I don't have a particular preference of race. In fact I am more concerned about health. I would want to date a woman who is not obese or a smoker.
>>17112937
This guy is an ass, you're not racist if you don't date black girls..
>>17112932
I actually don't know what to say but to build confidence for yourself. Being black in times like these should suck when you have a bunch of black people making you look bad because they find any excuse they can to loot.
I'm of the opinion that you shouldn't care what other people think and you should date girls you like. And be careful coming to 4chan for this stuff... /pol/ will have you believe you should be gassed for existing.
I don't know what else to say, I don't really have that experience
>Just be yourself
Okay. Fine. But what if my self is someone who prefers staying home after work/on his days off due to a mix of naturally nerdy hobbies and tinnitus on both ears which prevents me from doing the social things I'd love to do like going to film and music festivals. What if I've never had many friends ever and what if the only family I speak to on a regular basis are my on and little brother?
Should I force myself to change to try and become a normie?
not if you're happy
if you're unhappy, I would suggest starting small. maybe have a piece of fruit instead of that cookie. take a short walk or something.
>>17112891
Just be yourself is advice for talking to girls, not meeting them you dense fuck.
"be yourself" is shit advice. Take this: Be the way you want to be.
Anyone have luck with pic related?
Almost halfway through and it seems very insightful and a cure for my social retardation, but i'm still working on applying it. Love it so far.
>>17112888
I listened to the audio book a few times. I feel like it applies more to the professional/business world than average Joe's trying to break out of their shell. desu I noticed better results after watching hours of stand-up
OOh, that's a good idea. Got any reccomendations specifically for getting along with people and being liked?
I get better results from just doing things I like and reading calvin and hobbes, that's why I post it. Never read the book though I think there isn't any system to help you out, though believing in God has helped me out immensely as I grow.
I suggest taoist philosophy to bring in balance in your life and action without action. It all goes back to just being yourself and not forcing anything or trying to give off any image or control anything
So this are the only shoes i can be phisically active in and i wore them out since i wear then to hikes for 6 years
how do i find the same shoes the store closed 3 years ago where i bought them
I CAN NOT LOCATE THIS SHOES FFS HELP
>>17112878
find them online or stop being retarded and get other shoes
http://www.mandmdirect.com/01/details/TM2064/Timberland-Mens-Esker-Low-Gore-Tex-Vibram-Hiking-Shoes-Grey
Kinda similar.
Welp, I think I'm going to plunge into decades of debt and depression and take out student loans as its my only chance of going to school. Do student loans pay for cost of living? Like food, gas, etc? Or am I gonna have to find a part time job to deal w on top of school as well? think I'm going to go for physical therapy. Anyone have any tips or advice as to how to go about this the right way and not completely fuck my life up?
>>17112832
All I can tell you is choose your degree carefully because if you don't then you'll never pay off those student loans with that job at taco bell due to your liberal arts degree being worthless.
>>17112832
Use government loans before private loans. Also, what is your EFC? If it's low enough you should get grants. Also, major in Health Science for PT as many required courses for HS are prereqs for PT programs.
>>17112858
>OP specifies PT
>shits on liberal arts for no reason
That was uncalled for.
>>17112832
dont know how it works in other countries but here the student loans are enough to live off if you are careful. alot of people on my course spend all of their student loan too quickly on drink. its easy to give yourself a limit. i dont recommend getting a part time job, most of uni is independent study, if you want to get good grades you will need to study.
How do I become more social?
>>17112769
just b urself
but honestly, i personally feel you are born social
im autistic myself and depressed neet lonely 5 years since last job, did manage to have 2 short relationships in the past 5 years but thats because im average looking but im still not managed to be social
its just not my personality
i want a handful of friends i see sometimes and i want one girl to love but it doesnt work for me
you cant teach yourself to be social if you arent social to begin with or dont like social things
bump, not from OP
I want to know, I feel like everyone at my school likes me just enough to tolerate me, but not be friends with (I used to be intolerable)
>>17112776
You probably have to be autistic to give such autistic advice as "Just be yourself"
Cancer
Caught my parents fucking and they're blaming it on me.
>hurr durr why didn't you wait after knocking
I'm 18, why does that bother me so much- I've seen it a thousand times in porn :^(
>>17112715
>>hurr durr why didn't you wait after knocking
Well why didn't you? There isn't even any point in knocking if you don't wait for a response
Jesus Christ, who cares?
>>17112715
>one of thoes assholes who knocks then immediately opens the door, making the knock completey useless
How the fuck is it not your fault? Maybe this will teach you not to open the fucking door unless you get a response.
How do I never go to prison? I don't know where else to ask so I'll probably be trolled. I just have such an anxiety of going to prison now, I went to juvy before. Before even entering I was threatened with rape, beating and nearly had to take my shirt off. Luckily I didn't stay long! I guess I just live in a society where I'm not used to brutality, I don't want to go to prison but fear I may end up since its so easy for any of us to make a mistake.
Is it easy? To go to prison you have to be doing shit that's clearly wrong. It's not like 'oops, I assaulted this person' or 'oops, I stole this money'. You actively make decisions in life, drastic decisions that put you in prison.
If you're so worried about it, it should be easy to avoid. Live your life honestly, do good by yourself and others.
>>17112704
dont do anything illegal and stop being a faggot
it's paranoia, or so i guess. i will suggest you change your location to somewhere new and civilize. the community you live in definitely rubs on you, hence the feeling you might go to prison anytime soon. for starters change where you live.
Has anyone ever worked for these guys or similar places as a package handler? I've held off on trying because I'm afraid I wouldn't be strong or fast enough to do the work. It's just the school money (especially from pic related) looks so damn tempting.
>>17112700
Did they tell you they give scholarships? Don't do it, they're a trap
>>17112796
I got "told" in the sense that they plaster it all over their career portal pages.
https://ups.managehr.com/earn-and-learn-program.htm
Bump. I hear the turnover is high so someone here must have tried this at some point.
>got tired of >tfw no gf
>decide to try and pursue a girl and stop waiting for one to pursue me
>decide to go for a girl in my class whom i'm at least on speaking terms with
>she's a bit strange but I like it, she's cool, probably not that different from me
>overcome fears and start having lunch w/ her
>overcome fears and ask her for her number
>overcome fears and ask her out on a date over txt
>get nothing back for a while, assume it's a no
>already preparing myself for rejection and trying to figure out the best way to minimize awkwardness
>takes me leaving the building and receiving her text to remember the room I was in didn't have service
>she says she's busy but would let me know when she's not
I feel great, anons.
Only problem is, where the FUCK do I go from here? Literally every move I've made so far has been planned, but I don't have any ideas as to how to go on.
I don't want to come off as persistent or creepy, but I also don't want to make it seem like I don't care.
I haven't texted her since yesterday, though I did see her in class today.
Should I text her? What should I text her? What do I DO???
>>17112699
>she's busy but would let me know when she's not
That might have been a subtle rejection, m8. Women do that sometimes. They don't want to say "no" directly so they'll keep saying that they're busy or they'll set up a date and make up an excuse in the last second why they can't come.
>>17112708
You're right. I shouldn't get my hopes up. Any tips on finding out if she's actually interested?
>>17112708
this, try one more time if u are interested in her if she says no just keep on the next one, hey at least you did an amizing advance in your life anon keep practicing with other girls
I called this girl I know and asked her to go to the movies on Friday and she said sure.
How am I sure it's not platonic, but romantic instead? We went out sunday and she kept touching me and scratching my back which I gauged as interest, but I don't know if I waited too long to ask her out.
We've talked every day since then except yeaterday where I called her around 10 when she happened to just get out of work, and I haven't heard from her today. I'm wondering if something came up or if I'm just being paranoid.
>>17112685
worst thing you can do is be too needy/stalky/clingy
give it time, do other stuff or pretend you're doing other stuff and have more things going on than her. But not so extreme that you look like a dick
>>17112702
Her personality is a little bit clingy and she hasn't been in about a day and a half so I'm concerned because it's outside her usual behavior.
>>17112721
would be funny if she's trying the exact same thing then
>be me, 24 years old guy
>teenage days ex messages after 7 years of silence
>breakup was messy as hell, didn't want to see her at all and was fine without her
>she keeps talking about how her health problems "changed her" and insists on seeing eachother
>hell no
>keeps asking politely
>tells me if i change my mind i can feel free to contact her
What the hell is she up to guys? Something's fishy for me. I told her it's an old story, things happened and she should move on, but it didn't bother her at all.
what health problems?
>>17112684
I didn't ask, because 1 i don't care, and 2 when we were going out she kept lying to keep me in check, so i instantly thought that again she's trying to manipulate.
>>17112679
Had the same situation. Dont see her
![ups_latest[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/0QURHxn.jpg "ups latest[1]")
