Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 907. page
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This will take more than 2000 signs, i will just post the rest as commets;
Extremely long story ahead, beware.
I´m a 17 year old student, who thinks he´s the last piece of trash. It´s just that most of my life until now was shit and that i really need some advice.
When i was around 12, I was extremely extroverted-agressive and my parents send me to a psychotherapist... I don´t want to blame him for anything, but after my therapy, my whole personality changed, which, of course, was the target....
Now, my whole personality is weird and noone really knows what I think.... When I am alone or with my family, I am introverted and depressed, but when I´m with my friends, I am extroverted and extremely hyperactive, which causes everyone to think I am weird - what I am.
I am overweight, look bad, and can´t even talk to anyone I don´t know, unless they start the conversation. And even if someone says my name, i sometimes don´t react to it because I am too shy.
Well, so here am I now, a fat, ugly, 17-year old student who wastes his whole life on non-productive things like watching anime and playing video games...
So, yeah.... My family thinks I am depressed (what I am), everyone else thinks I am a weird guy who probably has some kind of mental disability.... That are great starting conditions for what happened recently....
Since I am also a 17-year-old guy, I of course am interested in girls, which kinda sucks when people think about you like this and you also look like shit... But yeah....
Basically, I am totally in that one cute girl (I will call her A), who noone knows about except for my best friend who isn´t even on my school...
Recently, another girl (I will call her B), started talking with some of my friends and me... Most of it isn´t really important, but one day, I found out that she was the best friend of the girl i liked... And even better, she told me "A" liked one of my anime shirts, which made me extremely happy, but I couldn´t show it, because my shyness dominates my happyness....
Since then, eveything went worse daily.... My self-confidence sank further and further as i always told myself; "she doesn´t talk to me because she doesn´t want to be seen with such a fat piece of shit like me"
Well, it happened again with my school bag and another shirt, I even saw her on an anime convention, but I just couldn´t talk to her.... I sweared to myself that I would as soon as she starts talking to me....
Soon, "B" random started talking with me about "A" when we met each other, she always instantly changed the topic to "A", no matter what I wanted to talk about... I thought, maybe, just maybe, "A" liked me....
But then I thought again... "Why the hell would she? I told my best friend EVERYTHING about her, maybe he knows her from somewhere? Maybe he wants to troll me, it must be all his fault"
Yeah... I suspected my friend of trolling me with such an intense thing..... I still feel bad for doing so...
But my life went on. I still was friends with him, still talked to "B", still loved "A". Everything continued like before, sometimes, "B" talked about "A" again. I was still feeling like a piece of trash... I am fat and I am ugly, and I know that, these 2 things are facts and noone can deny them.
But today, something really weird happened, and I still don´t know if it really happened or if it was just a hallucination caused by my depression and tiredness...
Before school started, I saw "A" and "B" in the middle of the hallway, waiting for someone.... Well, "A" is often in the hallway, standing there with her friends, and I just walked past them like usually.... But something was different... "B" said; "Hey, X, come over here".... I was happy, shocked, confused, but also sad...
But why sad? Well..... "Why should she mean me?! I am not the only guy at this school with my name, there actually is a quite attractive guy with the same name, who also likes anime... maybe "A" meant him all the time and "B" just missunderstood it and talked to me about it?!".... So I just walked by like nothing happened and ignored both of them
"But maybe - just maybe, she actually meant me" I thought in class.... "I´ll just behave like always in the recess, maybe "B" will talk about it with me, thinking I just couldn´t hear... And even if not, maybe "A" or "B" will talk to me after school, who knows"
It didn´t happen.... We wrote a test and had recess after everyone else, and after school, I just was too shy and literally ran to the train station, hoping noone talks to me....
After being pissed off and depressed for around 8 hours now, I came here...
I need help, help from real people, not "professionals", who fuck up my personality even more.
So here, now my questions;
Is there a way for me to fix my personality again?
How can I gain more self-confidence?
Did I completely fuck up the situation or is there a chance for me to make up for what i did today?
If so, any tips what to do? How to behave?
Is 32 too old for the military? I know I'm cutting in damn close in most of them. Don't even think I could join navy or marines last I checked. I'm just in a seriously fucked up position in my life and I need some direction and a way to get my foot in the door so to say. Thinking of trying to make a career out of it in some way plus I just want to escape from my current life. I basically fucked away my youth and have nothing to show for it now. I need something I can jump into and get my shit together without having to worry about finances.
What do you guys think about this? Any advice would be appreciated.
you had your chance
Reserve or terrortorial let in old cunts like you so go to a recruiting station
http://www.military.com/join-armed-forces/join-the-military-basic-eligibility.html
Anybody here who has done this? Older women are Just hawt. I need to wet my Diamond beak uknowwhatamsaying
Since when are women in their 20's "older women"?
>>17108697
When you're 15
You have to be 18 to post on this board
Hello, I am terrified that I am a narcissist and that I am making everyone in my life miserable. I am super pessimistic and negative about everything and I really do think I am pretty awesome but maybe that is just the narcissism and my thinking I am awesome is just a byproduct of my comprehensive and impenetrable self-delusion.
I will answer any questions 100% honestly because I want to know for sure one way or the other. Please help me. This suspicion is ruining my life. '
p.s. I live in America so I can't afford to see a psych and get a real evaluation.
pic unrelated
>>17108681
Do you go around your friends telling them how awesome you are?
What is a narcissist. Educate me.
So do you have a tendency to excessively flatter ("love bomb") people initially, use them for sex, and then drop them immediately without explanation, blaming them for not being up to your standards?
I want the femanon to tell me what was the sweetest way to ask a girl out, it could be something sweet someone has done to you, or a sweet thing you wish could happen to you.
And Anons to tell me what was the best line they ever used.
This may be slightly different bc well, as a femanon I asked out another grill and it wasn't anything that special. Since I feel I'm the more dominant I had to make the move. Just make sure u don't ask her out on text bc that's just bs. Also it depends on the girl. If she's shy don't do anything too dramatic, but if she is very open u might want to take it up a notch. Since I'm the more shy one, I sorta held her hand, Bc that was somewhat normal for us to do and just sorta broke it to her. Whatever u do, I wish u luck m8.
>>17108624
im not a femanon but i learned again and again that being sweet doesnt work anymore in 2016
>>17108646
Ya, what's up with the "asshole" type?
Accidentally posted this on another board.
I turned 25 about a month ago, and I am having difficulty coping with who I am. Hitting that age as most anyone knows my mind has shed any plasticity it had and is completely and totally developed, and I have now become the person who I will be for the rest of my life.
And I hate who I am. I hate everything about my personality and my thought processes, I hate my lack of skill in anything of value and my overly-emotional tendencies. I have been abandoned by people who I thought were my friends for life, most likely for this multitude of reasons. And this person who I am, who I hate, is the one whose role I'm tied to forever.
There are many things I would like to change, but now every little alteration I want to make will be a struggle, if even possible at all.
I find it hard to cope with this. I don't want to live but I don't want to die either. I'm afraid of what's waiting if I pass on but what kind of existence is it to live the life of a worthless human being?
I guess I'm not really asking for specific advice, as I don't even know what to ask for anymore. I'd just like to hear other people's perspectives and experiences.
Change what you don't like, keep what you do, and accept that you will always be a victim of circumstance if you do not steer the course.
>>17108588
You got yourself here and you can get yourself out if you work hard enough at it, without giving up when it seems unbearable.
Thank you for the contributions so far, bumping because I would perhaps like more input from people. I want to try to have a bit of a dialog here.
Sup /adv/. I need some life direction advice.
I am a white male, approaching 30. I have a good STEM degree, good income and career prospects and no obvious life problems (beyond tfwnogf, which I'll get to later). Yet despite this I seem to derive progressively less enjoyment from life.
I used to greatly enjoy animu/vidya/movies. A really good one could really stay with me and motivate me for weeks or even months. Now, I only rarely encounter something that moves me, and even then the feels don't last. Most stuff just looks derivative, empty, uninteresting.
I also have some more active hobbies, including my work. I used to be able to just get lost in those for hours at a time, but now I often cannot be bothered to start doing those, because it feels like too much trouble that isn't worth it. I can still function normally and get stuff done, but my life feels rather hollow.
As for the nogf part, I am (in good /adv/ tradition) a kissless virgin. The virgin part does not bother me much, but the lack of female companionship is unpleasant. I know that /adv/ commonly says that one should be able to be happy alone and so on, but I can't shake the feeling that a deep emotional connection with someone is what's really missing from my life. The problem is that I couldn't really have that connection with a girl I wouldn't see as my equal partner. And girls like that (smart+independent and not ugly or too crazy) seems to be about as common as unicorns. So me getting a gf does not seem likely, at least in the immediate future.
So, what else can I do to recover the spark /adv/? Don't tell me it's gone forever.
Well, i think it's perfectly normal that you progress with age. You might simply have outgrown the things that catched your attention. Imo, you are fastly approaching an age where you need other things to occupy your mind. And i hate to tell you this, but it mainly consists of building a family.
The way you are making yourself out, it shouldn't be that big of a problem to find a decent girl. Provided you did tell us the whole deal...?
>>17108477
Hi anon. You sound like one of my female friends who went to med school here in the U.S. She came from a pretty strict household (no dating allowed), so by the time she went to college, she was just focused on medicine - and she really loves what she does. But the work hours are crazy, so she doesn't have time to meet guys. (And all the guys she liked in school were taken by the time she decided to focus on companionship in life versus her vocation.)
They are out there - don't give up hope. But yes, they're rare. Apologies that I don't have specific advice for you. I just wanted to give you hope, because I hear this from a couple of my female friends IRL.
>>17108494
The problem is not that I outgrew a few adolescent interests, but that I get less joy from everything I do.
And I'm not really interested in building a traditional family. I want a partner to share my life with, but settling down and making babies holds no appeal to me.
>>17108852
Thanks for the encouragement anon. I know the kind of girl I'm looking for do exist, I've even met a few (didn't work out for various reasons). The question is mainly how not to go crazy/keep myself motivated in the meantime.
Orgasm advice , what up b , I'm a guy and I'm getting bored of regular orgasms , I've looked into what other types I can have as a guy including prostate or even nipple orgasms alone and I've even heard of people who can think them self off any advice b ?
I'm not a guy, but edging is really doing a lot for me. I "safe my horny up" troughout the day. Meaning that maybe i play with my nipples for a while in the shower when getting ready. Then i'll masturbate a bit on lunch break, and so on. It makes for pretty amazing and intense orgasms in the end.
choke n stroke
Prostate orgasms are more surefire. Unless you already know your nipples are really sensitive, I wouldn't go for orgasms off of nips alone.
Look into these items. They're supposed to be pretty good for prostate stimulation. I haven't tried it so I can't speak on it personally, though I want one.
If you have someone you sleep with, see if they can get into using it with you. These sorts of things are usually more exciting with a willing other person.
Going to meet my ex girlfriend of two months (had a long relationship before) for closure. Do's and don'ts?
Do's:
>don't go
Don'ts:
>go
suicide
Don't go, this won't do any good for you.
My cat has become extremely clingy over the last few months. It's bothersome, seems unhealthy and I want to know how tho change it.
She's begun to meow loudly from my bedroom whenever I leave for a few minutes or get home from work, and she will continue nonstop if I don't enter the room. Every time I go to bed she'll try to snuggle next to my chest, which normally would be fine, but she'll start purring incessantly--as hard as she can--for minutes at a time, to a degree inhibits me from sleeping.
When I'm in the room our I let her out she's almost constantly following me, constantly seeking affection with a degree of desperation, and no amount of affection seems to be enough anymore.
For reference, this cat used to simply lounge around on her own and seek attention maybe once every other day.
I recently had to euthanize my other cat (due to age and an unexplained disease), and I think these patterns have worsened since then. Any advice?
Any info about situations like this or anyone who's had a similar situation and can shed some light on it would be helpful.
How about you don`t imprison the cat in one single room that you onoly use to sleep?.
Idiot.
My boyfriend sleeps around with other girls. My boyfriend suggested we have an open relationship. I didn't want that but I told him he could sleep with other girls if he felt like it as long as he only loved me and didn't tell me about the girls he sleeps with. He said okay.
I haven't slept with anyone else besides him. My boyfriend is at least considerate enough to try and be discreet about his women but I can't help feel mixed about it. The truth is I'm really jealous about it but at the same time I'm really turned on by the thought of him sleeping with other girls. Every time he's not home and I know he's at some girl's house tearing into her, I get so turned on I end up masturbating to the thought for hours. I feel really sad at the same time though. I don't know why I'm like this.
My boyfriend has noticed I get weird whenever he says he's going out somewhere. That's because I know he's going to have sex with someone. I decided to be honest with him and told him about my mixed feelings on the matter. He said he would stop if I didn't like it but I couldn't bring myself to tell him to because that other half of me loves it.
He suggested I come along and watch it firsthand and that should help me decide once and for all if I want it to continue. That sounds really embarrassing...but extremely exciting. I don't know if I want to watch him have sex with another girl right in front of me, I can feel my heart sinking already. I'm extremely turned on though.
Should I go watch him have sex with that girl? I feel like I'll regret it once I actually see it with my own eyes but my curiosity and perverted side wants to see it so bad.
you deserve death
I know this feel.... I developed a similar fetish after I found out my bf cheated on me.
It is painful, so you need to decide if the kink turns you on enough to override the feelings of betrayal, shame, and pain that you'll feel. It's not for everyone.
>cuckolding
I royally fucked up my final year and I'm' going to get a 2.2 in IT, I know I'm screwed what can I do to lead a decent life or how can I end my life quickly.
If you can't salvage your school, get an apprenticeship to be an electrician or something. They can make good money.
You've got to keep moving forward, OP
>>17108397
The degree is almost set in stone, I've done the calculations countless times, I always walk away with a 2.2.
An Apprenticeship? It feels pretty yuck to walk away from so many years of my life. Maybe that is the best Idea though, I just don't know.
>>17108390
is a 2.2 really that bad? what are you studying? from what i know people with 2.2 dont really struggle anymore than people with 2.1
How do I get over an ex whom I see daily at my University?
I've tried ignoring her and pretending she doesn't exist, but that doesn't seem to help. I've tried talking to her but it just brings up old feelings and I don't really think I can be friends with her without wanting more.
I was nearly in the same boat as you. Within a year I hardly ever think about her and my feelings for her have gone away.
>>17108332
Thanks for the reassurance. It has only been 1.5 months so I guess I still have some time.
>>17108328
Been there, done that
In the end I decided to just skip school
How do I stop obsessing over someone who doesn't give a fuck about me
Focus on other things. Eventually you will forget.
>>17108327
this. it will take work but you can do it.
broke down and messaged him. GG
I'm about to be 23 in less than 2 weeks and I just bought a skateboard Saturday and started skating. I suck ass. I can ride without doing tricks but my balance isn't 100%, I did my first shove it yesterday after like 400 try's and I was skating around town with my buddy who is an experienced skateboarder (been skating for like 14-15 years) and compared to him I looked like a jackass. I know I just started but it's like fuck dude little kids are kicking my ass and telling me how much I suck. I laugh it off because it's just kids but what really gets to me is that I didn't start sooner. I had an overprotective dad who didn't let me out of the house for shot until I turned 16-17 and even then it was on some bullshit. I rebelled after but I remember being 10 years old bothering my dad for months to me a board and he finally broke down and got me one but wouldn't let me go past the backyard so I was like fuck it, 2 weeks later broke my board and never skated again til now. Basically what I'm asking is how can I stop feeling like shit about being so old to start and sucking so bad at skating?
Wow, that pic takes me back. The 90s were fucking awesome. Big Brother was the shit. I miss the hell out of that mag.
Anyway, I'm an oldfag (31, started skating at 13). I don't skate these days because my feet, knees and hips are fucked from activities unrelated to skating. But I feel compelled to respond to your post because you kinda remind me of myself when I was first starting out.
>my buddy who is an experienced skateboarder (been skating for like 14-15 years
What's your set up like? Deck brand and dimensions, trucks, bearings, et cetera. And what's your height/weight/shoe size?
>my buddy who is an experienced skateboarder (been skating for like 14-15 years)
Well then, you have a huge fucking advantage over me. Skating was super unpopular when I started back in 1998 and I had to learn everything on my own. I was the only skater in town and there were no skateparks, there was no YouTube with myriad tutorials and if you wanted to see pro level skating, you'd buy a VHS tape from the skate shop for $20 and try to learn by replaying it and re-watching in slow motion.
It took me 6 months to learn how to do an ollie while rolling above 0.5 miles an hour. Add to this the fact that I lived in New England where it was winter 6 months a year and it's amazing I was able to skate at all. Enough self pity. The point is this--if I learned how to skate under these dismal conditions, you can learn as well and it should probably take you 1/10th the time.
Look, skating can be fucking tough. It's even tougher when you constantly compare yourself to other people who have been at it way longer than you and are way smaller/lighter than you. It was tough for me but that's what it made it kind of beautiful. The struggle gave it meaning. I mainly got better by skating alone in the early mornings in an abandoned parking lot. Just doing flat ground tricks ad nauseum until I felt comfortable doing bigger stuff at higher speeds. It worked for me and it can work for you.
>>17108508
(continued...)
I read about Rodney Mullen doing the same in Big Brother; he'd go to a parking lot with a broom, sweep away the pebbles and practice freestyle for hours on end. He's OCD as shit and so is Nyjah Huston. They both had the same methodical approach of skating 4 hours a day during the week and up to 8 hours a day on the weekend. Obviously that's a major commitment and you're basically dedicating your life to it when you're that serious about anything, but the message to take from it is that skating is about practice as much as it is about talent. Just focus on getting your reps in. I promise you, if you stick with it, you'll get better.
Some other things I wish someone had told me when I was first starting out:
1) Many sports favor power and size. Skateboarding is definitely not one of them. Figure skating is probably the closest analog. The average pro skater is about 5'8. This gives them a low center of gravity. If you're taller than this, you will have to compensate by lowering your posture to the point where you're almost bent over. Watch Jon Fitzgerald for an example.
https://youtu.be/0LofTFYVdRE
The average weight of a pro is about 140-150. Seriously, look at a pro skater and size them up. They're TINY. The best skaters in the world all weigh less than 180 lb and the only guys that can get away with being that heavy are the taller guys like Bob Burnquist and Tony Hawk. I got into working out freshman year of high school and gained about 15 lb of muscle. And while I got more attention from girls, it made me much slower and clumsier on a skateboard. Even a tiny weight gain is really going to throw off your technique and balance. Watch what you eat and keep weight training to a minimum. The most useful muscles to train for skating better, other than legs, would probably be your core muscles.
>>17108508
I got an almost deck size 8.25, 52mm spitfire wheels, venture trucks, shake hunt berrings. I'm 6'2 I weigh about 175lbs give or take, size 10
.5-11 show it varies.
And you're right I do have more resources at my disposal I guess what really gets to me is all the wasted time. I've always felt so close to the culture but never participated in it til now and when I get on the board I'm just like "why didn't I start sooner?" I feel like I missed out on a lot. I won't have all those cool teenage skating stories to look back on or all the crazy young and dumb shit. Idk maybe I'm overthinking it..
