Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 973. page
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I keep running into problems with my girl but keep forgiving her. When did you finally throw in the towel?
>I don't like how you play dnd all the time anon :(
Cya bitch
>>17077156
Picture yourself how your relationship will be the next 10 years. If you're not happy, then why waste the fucking time?
>>17077156
She told me I was the second guy in the relationship. I told her she could have the other one, told him about it, and cut that bitch off.
My life is fucked enough. I don't need to add that trainwreck into the situation.
Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.
FAQ:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><Random insecurity>
Some do, some don't. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever. It takes hard work, time, and effort.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out. This is something that cannot be explained. You either have learned to intuit this or you have not. If you have not, the only way to learn is experience--there are no shortcuts. So it comes back to: Just ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.
>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>Brandon, that one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships and fart guy
Fuck off
Women, if the man of your dreams, the love of your life wanted to have anal sex with you regularly, would you do it?
>>17077221
like my dad always says, " if she won't let you fuck her in the ass, move on"
>>17077221
No, because he wouldn't be the man of my dreams, the love of my life if he wanted me to do something I'm not comfortable with.
Advice how do you cope with having to be someone else to get the things you want?
For example, women. I like the idea of equality... as in true equality. I want a true partner. I also want companionship and sex, etc.
But the truth is that women respond sexually better to men who act like masculine men. I know this. I went from 150 hopeless romantic to 195 chad. It really isn't who you are on the inside to women, it's what you are on the outside and what you can do.
But on the inside I'm still looking for a partner..... I get sad about it sometimes. And now there's this gnawing feeling in my gut whenever a girl spreads her legs again like "You're just doing this because I know what to say, do, and how to be."
>>17075417
>Advice how do you cope with having to be someone else to get the things you want?
I refuse to play the game. Hence why I have been single for over 10 years and haven't gotten laid in that time period, nor do I care.
Being myself is too important to me. If I'm going to be with a girl, then it's going to be with one who "likes" me for who I am, however long that may last.
>>17075420
Do you ever worry that you will wait forever?
>>17075436
Not really. I've had some fulfilling relationships before, and they've always just sort of fallen into my lap. As long as I talk to the right girls and take the right opportunities, I'm sure I'll find someone again. Maybe eventually it'll last long-term, maybe it won't. As much as I enjoy romance, I'm perfectly happy alone as well, so to me it's worth it.
Im in huge trouble and I dont know what to do. My bf of a little over 2 years that I live with has been digging into my past. Like he met an old friend of mine who Ive hooked up with a few times and Im not exactly sure how much he told my bf, but its enough for my bf to have this sickening look at times when he sees me and its breaking my heart. I dont want him to look at me this way.
I tried confronting him about it but then I lied when he started asking questions. I didnt mean to. But I couldnt admit to what I had actually done. College was a very promiscuous time for me and I know how much he doesnt like promiscuity.
What can I tell him that will make him let go of it? What can I tell him that will ease his pain?
He's a virgin and Ive been abstaining for all these years for him. But then he just dismissed that by saying its not anything to be proud of and I cant blame him for feeling that way. I just dont want to lose him.
Help
>>17074865
So basically you were a whore and now your beta provider found out about it.
>>17074865
What kind of things did you in detail?
>>17074871
I am not a whore or ever have been and hes an amazing guy. And even more Ive left my promiscuous days behind.
Dear Js
We should totally come to that festival next Sunday. BE THERE!
Signed, J.
>>17071374
Alright, J. I'll see you there.
-J
Dear S,
I miss you a lot. It's been almost two months now and I still think about you everyday, you're driving me crazy. Some days it feels like I wake up with a stone in my chest and I can't find enough energy to do anything but just lay there and think of you.
Why do you have to live so far away, we could've been so great together.
One part of me wish that I never met you and the other part couldn't be more grateful.
Thank you for giving me a chance and showing me what love is.
- V
M
I don't know buddy, I just do not know. One day I'm smitten with you, next day you don't give a fuck about me and I immediately dislike you, and feel like you don't like me either. That beer, it was a stupid idea. I was stupid. But no more of that, I promise.
K
My boyfriend has an extremely negative attitude about almost everything.
I've tried to help him be more positive but he just annoys me now. We've been together 6 years. Is this the kind of thing to call it quits over?
Absolutely.
Negative attitudes that are unchanging show a lack of care/interest/love from the other end, and will otherwise inevitably rot away at you, even if only slowly. If he doesn't want to become positive, your relationship surely won't be.
Wanting to call it quits is a reason itself to call it quits. There's no resolution to be had. You're not going to change him, he's not going to willingly change himself, you're slowly going to become more negative in response.
He had had a more rough and tumble life than me. His parents divorced when he was 1, which he seems to never have gotten over. He became a huge drug addict and never went to college and live as a broke addict at his mom's house for 10 years while she constantly ridiculed him for being a loser but also had sexual attraction towards him.
Sometimes he can be very positive and sweet but at least once a day his negativity comes out. I've never been with someone so challenging.
I think I'm becoming an Islamaphobe, and I don't want to be.
No, I'm not a /pol/ moron, nor a Neo-Nazi or Stormfront or whatever.
It's just, all this shit I see on the news everyday, it's all so awful. I know that, when you really look at it, Islam follows most of the same rules as Judaism and Christianity (i.e. all of them teach stoning, slavery and righteous killing), but the world made Christianity change over time, and Jews have spent thousands of years being oppressed, so they can't stomp on others. After reading Kite Runner and Persepolis in my teens, I felt like I had an open mind on the struggles of middle eastern people.
Hell, after 9/11, I felt bad for good Middle Easterners and Muslims who were discriminated as possible Al Qaeda terrorists. Back when I went to college, I had a Psych teacher who was fired from Boston University after 9/11 for being Iranian. He fled the Iranian Revolution, too.
Now with ISIS, it's like every Muslim in the world is buying a plane ticket to the middle east to slaughter innocents, or at least do it in their native countries. I want to believe Muslims are people, I really do. I've never met one in real life, so I'm a bit biased in that regard, but everything in the world says that Muslims are a super Hivemind Death Cult.
I try to remember that for every Osama Bin Laden there's a Hernan Cortez, and for every Burning of the Library of Alexandria, there's a Spanish Inquisition and a Hebrew genocide against the Canaanites.
>>17076928
>I've never met one in real life, so I'm a bit biased in that regard
I live in Birmingham, England. It has probably the second largest concentrated Muslim population in the country, behind Bradford (also known as Bradistan). I've met many Muslims and deal with them on a daily basis. I am also not white.
I have a tendency to dislike and be weary of Muslims as a rule, because most I've met have been pretty shitty people.
It's fine, really. It's just one of those things. So long as you're not running around being abusive to other people then there's not really a problem. And you've never met a Muslim, and likely never will, so it's not really anything to be concerned about. I don't know why you're even worried.
Have you tried reading the Qur'an, talking to actual Muslims, and stuff like that?
I'm friends with a wonderful and nice family of Muslims, and have studied the Qur'an and Islamic theology, and I think that's largely what's stopped me from becoming prejudiced against Muslims.
You could also try studying Sufi Islam, which is IIRC pacifistic in nature.
>>17076965
>Have you tried reading the Qur'an
“The Jews say, ‘Ezra is the son of Allah’; and the Christians say, ‘The Messiah is the son of Allah.’ That is their statement from their mouths; they imitate the saying of those who disbelieved [before them]. May Allah destroy them; how are they deluded?” (Sahih International 9:30)
>24
>Just found out my girlfriend of a year lost her virginity when she was 12
>And that from the age of 12-23 (when she met me), she slept with "35" men
First thing that came to mind was that clip of the guy finding out his girlfriend is a whore and as she was leaving for work or whatever he told her not to suck any dick on the way to the parking lot. So that is essentially what I told her, when she had to leave my place a few hours ago to see her parents.
She actually started to cry as she walked out. I almost wanted to laugh. Almost. I apologized, but said that those two things combined really are killing the relationship for me right now. She asked if I was dumping her, I said no, I just don't know what to do.
So what do I do /adv/? She's been pestering me on the phone non stop, constantly telling me how much she loves me etc. I feel pretty shitty knowing she has had 35 dicks in her, which if the average was 6 inches, that is 17 and a half feet worth of dick that has been in there. How am I supposed to just get over this?
>>17076467
Is this that bad for you and your relationship ?
I mean yeah, she fucked, so what, everyone fucks. She can't unfuck people for you. It's her past. Doesn't mean she's a cheater
Isn't this pasta?
>>17076477
most women have not had sex with 35 men by the age of 23
I think I ruined my chances with this girl.
I recently met her, and everything was going fine until the fourth day. I talked to her as I did on the previous days, but she looked as if she was uninterested, so afterwards I texted her and asked her if I bothered her.
She didn't reply, and I sent her the following message as a result of my possible neurotic behavior.
"You know if I bother you, you should tell me. I
like people making direct statements to me, but I know the world doesn't really care what I think. It's really immature and childish, you know like a 5 year old wanting everything and everyone spelled out for me.
Oh, I'm whining again
I know it's selfish, thinking about what you might be thinking, but just let me know I make you uncomfortable, so I could stop
Looking back at this whole message, I should really stop repeating myself"
She hasn't replied, and I think I really fucked up. I don't blame her either, I have only known thi girl for some days and I strip myself to my insecurities.
If there is any way to fixed it, that would greatly appreciate it, if not trying to make her forget about it, then trying to cope with general awkwardness of seeing her in class.
>>17073367
Ya fucked up
>>17073367
Don't contact her anymore.
If you are lucky, she will initiate something.
It's gone. It's done. Do not text her anymore. You've crossed into "he's weird" category. Do not cross into "he's a fucking creep".
Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.
FAQ:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><Random insecurity>
Some do, some don't. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever. It takes hard work, time, and effort.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out. This is something that cannot be explained. You either have learned to intuit this or you have not. If you have not, the only way to learn is experience--there are no shortcuts. So it comes back to: Just ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.
>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>Brandon, that one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships and fart guy
Fuck off
how long does it take to fall in love with someone? ì`ve been going over a month with a guy but i just care about him,i have cried a few times because i missed him, he already said he loves me but i`m not sure yet.
should i break things up with him or wait?
Girl just text me saying she'd like to go out with and I have literally no idea how to respond.
She's super nice and all but there's another girl I'm into and going on a date with someone whilst pining for someone else is a really shitty thing to do.
>>17072159
science says love takes about a month, but you could argue that it could take more/less time if you only see each other a few times a month
I don't really know what I want.
I hate women. Neckbeard fedora MRA whatever you want to insult me with, yes. Iv'e seen all the redpill statistics. And the more girls in "ask the opposite gender anything" cry #notallwomen the more it reinforces it in the first place.
I really, really want a wife and kids and all that. I know my value and it is low - I'm fat, uneducated/blue collar and have very low confidence. Girls date up which means my viable options are 3/10s who will make me miserable (yes methhead trailer trash moms flirt with me all the time). And with EVERY marriage ending in divorce I'm scared shitless to have her steal my kids and house in 20 years. It's 2016 more people get divorced then not. But I can't shake this all-consuming sehnsucht, this deep passion to come home to kiss my wife and hug the kids and have a meal as a family, to send them to bed and fuck my wife still wearing her apron, to help the kids with their homework and be a good dad.
Even though I know that's fantasy and that she's going to turn into a cow and bully me out of my hobbies and friends and never have sex until years later she steals the house and turns me into an child support slave.
But I don't really like the alternative either. I don't want to go full fuckboy and spend years at the gym and fuck dumb 18 year olds when I'm 30 until I get herpes or charged with rape or both. Everyone just does ONS and that just doesn't even appeal to me, why bother fucking a stranger.
I know I'm just going to get #notallwomen but 90% ARE like that and I'm never going to have the charisma or money to attract one that isn't garbage.
Sometimes I think maybe I should find a woman from overseas but then I would just feel sorry for her giving up everything, plus there's the risk that she's just waiting for the limitations to expire before she can divorce me and keep her citizenship.
I don't really expect any answers at 5 in the morning I'm just angry and venting I guess.
>>17069918
You're a pretty massive idiot who has combined immaturity with emotional reasoning combined with a good does of confirmation bias. Your shitty attitude towards will will continue to turn them off, which you'll use to reinforce your wrong-headed beliefs. Please do grow up and learn to understand women as people like anyone else. So long as you're this angry and afraid of them you'll never manage a healthy relationship since no one wants to be treated like an enemy combatant within a relationship. Your baseless paranoid will undermine all your attempts to connect with women so do consider unfucking your shit. Stop spending so much time in MRA echo-chambers and go work on developing healthy relationship with actual women. If you treat women well they will treat you well, if you assume the worst about them from the beginning and treat them poorly they'll either just run away or treat you poorly in return.
>>17069918
You're not entitled to anything. Intimate relationships, with anyone, are not for you. Stop trying. You will get burned if you maintain this attitude and keep pursuing a "meaningful relationship" in your twenties, mark my words.
>>17069918
>and I'm never going to have the charisma or money to attract one that isn't garbage.
You have already set yourself up to fail. You don't see yourself succeeding, and because of it you probably never will. Instead you wallow in self pity, anger, and despair from the bottom of the pit you keep yourself in by no choice other than your own. You can climb out or dig deeper. Whether or not you find something outside of that hole is a gamble, but you aren't gonna get lucky if you don't roll the dice.
You know the drill!
I am probably just being a hopeless idiot, but I am trying to do something to try and get something going in with her. But I fear that I blew it already 2 weeks ago. And now there's only 7 more times I'll see her before school ends for the semester. And I probably won't see her again past that.
I have her new, but she did the run around with being busy when I asked her to grab coffee. So, now her I am trying to speak to her a bit to try recovering something.
We need to break up but all of my friends are really her friends. I need to figure out who I am but I don't want to be shunned to the outside...
I fucking hate myself. I'm a 27 year old, depressed, awkward, anxious and unattractive man, and will be alone forever.
I'm worthless and should just give up on this piece of shit life.
>22
>ftm
>shit dad, no close enough supportive male family
>family has no male friends
>gonna receive hormones as soon as the clinic stops playing games with me
>realise I have no idea how to man
How does one figure out how to be a decent man when you've never had an example of a decent man in your life
Just bee urself
>>17073668
I'm a drunk moody reckless whore and being pumped full of testosterone is probably not going to help that
>>17073659
Why in the goddamn world would you ever want to be a man?
You know being a man is life on hard mode right?
Being a man is a near constant state of suffering with very little pleasure until you either harden into metal or get burned into ash. There is no in-between.
Trying heroin with gf later.
Any /adv/ice on the matter? I have no personal experience with opiates and don't know what to expect.
>>17069929
Don't do it, you'll like it, it'll take over your life and rob you of everything. Of course you're an idiot who thinks you're above addiction so you're going to do it anyway but remember me when things start to fall apart.
>>17069933
One time isn't going to fuck my life up.
I can't even afford to make it a habit, so even if I love it, I'll just detox for a bit and go back to normal.
>>17069938
Tell that yourself m8
Heroin is toxic, you and your gf are lost as soon as you take it
can a big cock get you laid, just by itself.
i'm a 25 year old virgin, white, ugly (skinny, balding, bad facial aesthetics) but the only genetic thing i was blessed with is an 9 inch dick.
i understand i can't walk up to a girl and tell her im big and expect anything but her thinking im weird as fuck to happen, but im curious if there's a way to make anything happen with an average looking male just based off the size of my dick as an experiment.
not sure if ill try anything for real but im it's an interesting thing to think about.
made a same-ish thread on /fit/ earlier but got banned for it.
Wear tight clothes, wear skinny jeans and make your penis visible.
>>17064666
i doubt people will notice
>>17064717
Maybe it depends on where you live but many girls (esoecially the whore ones) always look at men's crotches, even at mine but they turn away quickly because I have a small dick, they stare at big cocks.
![166153488[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/f1eBv4l.jpg "166153488[1]")
![male-female-symbols[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/cDT9zuq.jpg "male-female-symbols[1]")
