Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 972. page
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I have cheated on my current GF with my ex.
It has been two days, and all I feel is constant regret.
I love my current gf, she is so sweet and cute, and the only reason I did that was that I got drunk as hell to the point I had no control over what I am doing.
Will that feel ever go away, or did I fucked up this relationship for good?
>>17085590
obviously I have not told my gf, and I am not even planning to do so.
>>17085590
It will go away. Just don't ever tell her, and channel those terrible feels into being the best boyfriend you can and never let that happen again
>>17085590
First, screw you...
Second, It'll probably go with time if you stop contact with your ex and become a better boyfriend, and obviously don't tell her what you did otherwise that'll end the relationship.
Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.
FAQ:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><Random insecurity>
Some do, some don't. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever. It takes hard work, time, and effort.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out. This is something that cannot be explained. You either have learned to intuit this or you have not. If you have not, the only way to learn is experience--there are no shortcuts. So it comes back to: Just ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.
>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>Brandon, that one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships and fart guy
Fuck off
Girls, would you just cuddle a guy?
Or is that reserved for fwb or bf only?
No I'm not Brandon.
>>17083462
I used to cuddle with one of my male friends. We were super close but never been interested romantically.
It's not something I'd do with a random dude tho.
how do you go about having sex with someone who has been abused? could use advice from either gender.
They were fairly young when it first happened but i think it happened more than once, im iffy on the specifics but i believe them cause they freaked out once when it seemed like we were going to make out.
I just want to make her comfortable.
Question about HAIR:
are you born with "pretty" hair or is it a matter of taking good care of it?
Can you recover from the damage of bleaching and/or dyeing your hair?
pic related: slavic hair, my absolute favorite.
I know there are obvious structural differences between, say, curly and straight hair, black and blonde hair and so on, but within each category, is there room for improvement?
>>17082013
>Can you recover from the damage of bleaching and/or dyeing your hair?
reminds me of pic.
Also if you are too worried about damage of bleaching/ dyeing perhaps just shave your head, the new hair will be healthy.
>>17082013
"Pretty" is subjective. What type of hair do you have, and what's wrong with it?
So last night my girlfriend was laying on the couch in some nice lacey lingerie. I come home from the gym thinking she wants to fuck, so I come onto her and she keeps pushing me off, telling me she doesn't want to have sex. I keep kissing her and she is laughing and playfully rejecting me and then she says "seriously I don't want to have sex".
So I leave her alone, and I call her out saying she just used me for attention. She of course denies it.
Then just now we go upstairs to clean up before dinner. She lays on the bed doggie style and playfully wiggles her ass. I come onto her again and she rejects me same as last night.
This fucking happens all the time. And she is such a jealous little bitch. If I mention or look at another girl she gets irritated, not like she makes a big deal out of it, but she doesn't like it.
We rarely have sex anymore. And I get rejected like 10-20 times before we actually do have sex. The only surefire way to get her to want sex is when she is drinking, and honestly she annoys me when she is drunk, and it's kind of off-putting that she only wants sex when she is drunk.
Other times we have sex is when I'm distant because she has made me upset. This doesn't always happen, but if I'm distant a whole day by that evening we usually have sex. And sometimes when I get rejected by her I get upset, and then she blames me for making her feel guilty.
Honestly this shit pisses me off so bad I just wanna say fuck it and cheat on her. She seems to have virtually no sex drive anymore, even though it was like a fucking porno when we first started dating.
She's using and abusing you. Dump her.
>>17080743
I dont think it is quite that dramatic.
Every other aspect of the relationship is quite good. Just getting sick of her having low libido.
>>17080749
DUMP HER OP SHE'S CHEATING
How do you get over realizing that women are with you because of what you can do not who you are? Basically that women objectify men?
Every girl, my current included, has said she loves me for me but this is obviously false. When I get a promotion, suddenly the complaints about how broke she is start. When she gets a promotion, the whining about how she's doing all the work starts. With every girl it's always a power struggle about what SHE is getting.
it's always about her. It's always about them. What's the point to being a good partner when i can treat them like I don't need them and get better results? In the case of my current girl - when I act like a truly equal partner - disaster. When I act like an alpha male... well I'm sitting here smoking her weed, eating her food, fucked her as much as I want this past weekend. How? I dumped her. What the fuck is wrong with women?
>>17082308
>because one woman's traits= all women's traits
Phew lad, lay off the woman-hating redpill for a while.
>>17082321
I'm not able to give an exhaustive list of my personal experience here. It's extensive. And almost all of my experience points the same way.
I've dated many types of women. when I've let go of judgement and encouraged the truth, it's always the same story.
Women love men for what those men will do for those women or what those women expect those men to do. I intentionally disrespect women to their faces now and they fuck and date me more, not less, because they see me getting promotions and winning at life. They "love" me because of what I do, not who I am. I could be the most callous piece of shit and after whining for a day or two theiyre right back to me. But the more I commit, the less they give.
It's kind of sickening.
I think you ought to re-assess your interpretation of how your problems in your relationship come up. Is it really just about them, what they want and what you SHOULD be doing? Or is it the way you're seeing the issue by not looking at the whole context?
Maybe you just date shitty women. Maybe you're shitty and attract shitty people. You need to provide a little more detail before you start making a big oversimplification.
I enjoy leading on fat chicks and then ghosting them. It's shitty but it's fun.
man you are terrible at painting.
I would literally have to be hitler with my finger on the button of the gas chamber and be shooting a gay person with the other to be as bad as you try painting me.
everything that happened, happened for good reasons. the fact that you're in an echo chamber and are completely content with not even entertaining any other way of seeing things because it would mean admitting that you were wrong, is not my fault.
Have contact with multiple girls yet i keep thinking about that one person who wont even reply to my messages, i want her more then anything but what's the point if she cannot even show basic respect towards me?
I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself.
Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.
FAQ:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><Random insecurity>
Some do, some don't. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever. It takes hard work, time, and effort.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out. This is something that cannot be explained. You either have learned to intuit this or you have not. If you have not, the only way to learn is experience--there are no shortcuts. So it comes back to: Just ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.
>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>Brandon, that one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships and fart guy
Fuck off
Girls,
I'm sick and tired of manly smells and would like to start using more feminine shower gels like orange flower, vanilla and maybe even lavender.
I am 6'4, skinny, normal looking guy but usually slow and a bit clumsy. Would you think I'll of someone smelling like this?
>>17079982
Why not buy unscented ones? I don't think those smells will appeal to most women in terms of what they'd like to smell in a guy.
>>17079982
I'd think you're a lesbian.
Seriously though, don't do that - at best girls will think you're taken
My partner has BPD.
I know he loves me but i feel like he hates me a lot of the time because his emotions rule him and he gets scared and insecure because he's afraid of me leaving him.
What can I do for him to make him feel comfortable? I feel like I already do everything to help him but it is not enough. I also don't feel nurtured by him but I love him so much I don't want to leave.
>>17077270
Leave him, there is 0.000000000000% chance he will ever change.
>>17077282
Why do you say that? do you have a similar experience?
>>17077292
>Why do you say that? do you have a similar experience?
Yes. You think when he feels emotional, you "did" something, and can "fix" it; because this is what would happen if YOU were to have those same emotions.
He's not like you. You can't change him. You'll never make him happy.
He needs medication, just being nice will be 0% effective.
Sorry.
I've tried tinder, okcupid, plentyoffish, meetme, bumble, happn, badoo, clover, pretty much every dating app you can think of
And I've had no luck meeting a nice girl, I don't think I'm even that ugly so honestly IDK what the hell is going on (I can maybe post a pic)
Does anybody have ANY advice for me? I'd appreciate it for sure
Does anyone know any other good dating sites/apps?
>>17080853
This is one of those things where you're going to need to provide a buttfuck load of more detail if anyone's going to have a chance of identifying what you're doing wrong.
>>17080921
I wasn't sure what kind of details would help.. ask and I'll give details
Why do women have such an easier time getting relationships than men?
I'm not kidding. Pretty much every girl I know is in a LTR and has a huge social circle. This is such a common thing that millions of guys believe this. What I'm saying is, it seems to happen often enough that guys irl and the Internet think single women don't exist.
What is with the massive disparity? Why do girls have it so much easier? And don't even start with the "only neckbeards are lonely" line, any honest person will admit they know average guys who are lonely.
The truth is that I don't think I've even known any single women for years. Haven't met a single one, except maybe the girl who was so ugly that she could pass as a tranny (assuming she was even a woman).
-high-quality men are in relationships with multiple women
-women with visibility are approached by men very regularly, whether they are in a relationship or not
The "girls you know" simply are in demand because they are visible. There's a ton of single women out there, especially the ones stuck in jobs that hire mostly women/is female oriented.
All the girls at work I know are in relationships, but considering 80% of the place is male im not exactly surprised.
If you become a hairdresser im sure you'll meet plenty of single women
>>17080092
Because all a woman has to do is not act slutty (they can be a slut but just not act like one) and not be fat (even then) and some guy will date her
Women also aren't the instigators of relationships so even if they're socially inept wierdos they can get dates
Long question, if you're not interested that is okay. I am trying to be a less judgmental individual. I have a girlfriend of about a year whom I care for very deeply, the only issue is we don't see eye to eye on a few (I think important) things.
First off we like similar music except for she "loves" country but only listens to it when I'm not around. My thinking on the matter has always been either stupid people like country or country makes people stupid, it's more vapid than 80's pop.
Second she is a deist and can't explain it, I wouldn't mind if she could... but fuck... "I don't know, faith can't be explained" is just some bs. She isn't a christian even (though she did use the what if a day isn't 24 hrs bs argument in support of Genesis.) She's a molecular biologist; I don't get how she can be so logical in the rest of her life but just not apply it here.
She is perfect otherwise, gorgeous, has opinions, is somewhat experimental sexually without being a slut, probably the funniest girl I've ever met, very similar interests...
How do I keep from being such a pretentious ass? Ask me anything if need be. Dumping QTs for a few hours.
Is it me, or are most older people (40+) not really "wise" like they're commonly thought of? I've talked to a lot of people from different backgrounds and I do find older people interesting, but also disappointing. Most of them seem unsuccessful, uninspired by life, or simply pleased with their lower standards. What is this "wisdom" they're supposed to have anyways? The ability to survive to old age and maybe raise kids? To me it's pretty clear that a ton of lower rung people are perfectly capable of doing that.
wisdom typically is a hard concept to grasp until you actually have it.
how old are you?
>>17079889
Well then please explain to me, oh wise one.
>>17079878
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
There you go, kid.
So I made a fake tinder account using pictures of some random hot guy on reddit
It really blew my mind.
I'm not a bad looking guy but on my actual tinder account I didn't get nearly as many matches, WHICH MAKES SENSE, but what blew me away was how forward you could be if you're good looking and how much shit you can talk and still have the girl want you
It's literally crazy
Also another crazy thing was how all these girls who looked innocent and some even said they weren't looking for hookups, after an hour of chatting on tinder they were down to meet up and fuck
This changes my view of women completely, how do I stop it from turning me off to women in general in terms of a serious relationship?
Women are sluts. This is well known. Just accept it and move on.
>how do I stop it from turning me off to women in general
Remember that not all women use tinder
You aren't getting an accurate cross-section of the entire female population, you're just getting a cross-section of women who use Tinder. Since it's generally marketed as a casual sex app, it's unsurprising that they're only interested in sex and don't mind being treated poorly because they aren't looking for a serious relationship
The whole point of Tinder is hookups, even among the girls on there saying they're not looking for hookups. Anyone who says they're on Tinder for any other reason is almost guaranteed to be lying. It's no surprise girls looking for hookups are going to want to get with a hot guy who seems like he might be fun for a night. They're not looking for relationships m8. And looking innocent is just a way for sluts to attract guys... they're not actually innocent lmao.
Should sexual history even matter?
It's talked about a lot on here but is there a point to getting upset over it?
A lot of lonely guys here are worried about being taken advantage of as a "provider" later in life, but why does number of sexual partners matter?
Is the idea that you're being chosen not because you're a good/the best choice but because you have resources the hangup?
19/M/Virgin. Worth mentioning.
In my experience, girls don't respect guys that have lower counts than them. Even if they lie about their number.
Of course they will deny this, but they deny all of their shitty hidden behaviors.
Take this as you will.
>>17079017
Probably going to get some flack for this one, but I don't really think it matters at the end of the day. There are shitty, predatory people out there who have had lots of sex, there are those who have had none, and there are plenty in between. What matters is that you are not getting fucked over or fucking the other person over.
It depends, if it's an ungodly number like 50 before they're out of high school then that won't sit well with me. If it's like 10 by the time they're 20, that's okay
So my boyfriend secretly jerked off to nudes of his exes for a while.
He did this for about a year since we started dating, he had two folders, "ex1" and "ex2", and they were loaded with nudes, including cumshots on their faces and his dick in their mouth.
Half a year ago I told him to get rid of it, which he did, but I'm still really fucking heartbroken and I have so many questions.
Did he keep them because he misses them?
Did he keep them because he likes their bodies better than mine?
Did he keep them because it gives him a feeling of power?
Will he do a similar thing again?
Am I enough?
It's still so tough and I don't know if I can ever get over it desu. I don't want to give him a "life sentence" for this, but I feel like I'm just another girl to him and not very special ever since I found out.
But he's incredibly special to me which is why the thought of us not working terrifies me.
Can I please have some of your inputs on my questions or just in general?
How do I ever get over this?
>>17078749
I think it's just because its ebin porn with your own dick in it and nothing more. I wouldn't worry about it really but if you've got questions just confront him about it, the least he can do is tell you the truth.
>>17078759
Are you sure?
I have confronted him, he said he only looks at it because he likes their bodies, which (maybe as a girl) doesn't make any sense to me. What about regular porn?
>>17078749
These are not questions you ask 4chan. These are questions to ask your boyfriend. Don't back him into a corner, don't start bawling and throwing fits. Be chill and have a levelheaded conversation. It starts with:
>I thought I was over it, but it still bothers me. I just never understood why you did that. Please help me understand this so I can put this behind me.
Then ask him those questions. Again, not being some sort of emotional wreck or psycho. You'll get more genuine, honest answers the more "cool" you are in the conversation.
You won't get over it in one conversation. So you need to work it out with him over the course of the next few weeks/months. Remember that forgiveness means you don't repeatedly bring it up down the road. If you want to forgive him and make this work, I mean TRULY want to forgive, this is something you two will work toward for a while. Then once you have your closure and you feel you can trust him and that the issue is resolved, you can't bring it up again.
![male-female-symbols[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/byQ6LHB.jpg "male-female-symbols[1]")
