Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 979. page
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>at work yesterday
>helped this qt out
>gave her my number on back of business card
>texts me and asks when we are going out to eat
>agree to go out to a bar/lounge tonight
>we agree at 8:30
>doesn't reply to my text on whether she wants me to pick her up or if we'll meet up there
>time comes
>no reply or anything yet
>I text her that i'm here at the bar already
>still no reply
>that was 25 minutes ago
How long before I just leave? On my 2nd beer already.
>>17032734
bump I've never been stood up before :(
lmao bro bounce she was fucking with you. Probably laughing her ass off to her friends / bf
>>17032766
Sadly, this.
me and my boyfriend have been arguing for a couple days now, its getting really bad. when we first got together he told me he didn't tolerate weed smokers, I wasnt a chronic weed smoker so it was easy for me to stop and I haven't done it since. last night i was hanging out w some people who were smoking. I got back to my room and he wanted to see me so we can work things out. when i saw him he was yelling and got pissed because I just smelled of smoke even though i didn't smoke. he yelled that he doesn't want to be with me anymore and threw all my stuff out his room and kicked me out. hes not speaking to me at all. I've been extremely loyal to him. I just feel really bad and don't know what to do. do i stop hanging out with almost all my friends because they smoke? I feel like i have to tiptoe through this relationship because I never want to make him mad . pls help
>>17031583
what happened before last night ?
>>17031583
>said he doesn't want to be with you anymore
>put your stuff out
>kicked you out
>no contact sense then
I'm pretty sure it's over and he broke up with you.
Dude sounds crazy. Get out of there and don't look back imo. Anyone so controlling is probably not worth it.
You're flawed if you're not free :)
Found out my girlfriend slept with a married man at one point.
She knew he was married. Kept in touch via social media for a while.
I'm no saint. Not even close. But I find it pretty morally reprehensible that she did this. I'm pretty disgusted. Even I have standards I won't cross and I'm a slut.
I told her she should feel awful for knowingly betraying someone who didn't deserve it. I also told her she ought to come clean if she is truly sorry. I left it at that.
She says she is remorseful, but I doubt it. She completely let it slide and didn't feel an ounce of guilt. Also being remorseful and sorry without setting things right is pretty empty and useless imo.
I'm not upset she fucked another guy or any of that bullshit. But the fact that she would knowingly violate something so serious and did not feel bad is pretty ugly.
And I don't like ugly.
What's does this tell you about her?
What does this tell you about me?
I'd leave her if I were you. That's real shit, that's not a Seinfeld breakup. You can't expect her to take commitment seriously, so if you saw a future with her, it's time to reconsider.
>>17030976
And I fucking did, how horrifying.
Noko no longer serves a purpose.
This tells me she puts promiscuous behavior as priority number one. Ergo, she's a sloot.
This tells me about you that you are someone who attracts these people because you are a sloot as well.
>I hope you get an std test.
Ok guys. I might have fucked up badly. I need to know what to do.
I have been seeing a girl (ok, woman, she's 24) for a couple of months now. She had kinda-sorta moved in with me; she still has her own apartment, but she slept here like, five nights out of seven.
A few hours ago I found out she had been sleeping with her ex the other nights. (A mutual friend told me.)
I asked her about that, she admitted it.
I told her to get out of my apartment, and that we were done. She refused to, and said she was going to pick her stuff up first.
I told her to just get the fuck out. Her stuff could wait until I was less pissed at her.
She still refused.
And I kind of punched her in the face, and threw her out.
Then she spent like half an hour yelling at me through my door about how I was a piece of shit, how she was going to call the police and say I had raped her, and stuff like that.
She has gone away now, and I have no fucking idea what to do.
Also. My hand fucking hurts.
Help?
(Picture unrelated, I just grabbed something.)
You fucked up. Why didn't you just let her grab her things? Might wanna keep an eye on that temper of yours.
Dumbass why would you punch her
>>17029014
I dunno. I've been thinking the same thing.
I was just too pissed at how she was all like "yeah, so what are you going to do about it?"
Anyhow, the stuff she has here is a few changes of clothes, some stuff in the bathroom and a phone charger. I didn't think that stuff mattered too much.
>>17029015
I dunno. I was just pissed at her.
Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.
FAQ:
Avoid asking these common questions:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><Random insecurity>
Some do, some don't. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever. It takes hard work, time, and effort.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out. This is something that cannot be explained. You either have learned to intuit this or you have not. If you have not, the only way to learn is experience--there are no shortcuts. So it comes back to: Just ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.
>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships.
No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking.
>Brandon
Fuck off
Old Thread: >>17026285
I wish I could be one of those guys who just go out and meet girls and eventually hook up with them, nothing serious
And I know the only thing stopping me is my anti social self
How do I become a savage?
Girls
is it ever a negative thing in your mind if a guy apologizes to you?
I've heard people say "never apologize to a girl" but I personally think that's bullshit. I just had a talk with a close female friend of mine (one who we used to have romantic interests in each other at one point). Well we had a talk, and she said something that I took the wrong way. She didn't mean to upset me but she did, so i told her goodnight and turned off my phone. Later when I checked my phone I had this message-
"Hey! That's not what I meant! I honestly didn't mean to hurt you, maybe you misunderstood. I was being serious, but I didn't mean it in a bad way. I'm not upset with you, or bored of you, or anything! Please forgive me if I really did upset you, because you are important and shouldn't be upset.
I hope you have a good rest of your night dear! I send you a big big big hug! :)"
I did end up taking that the wrong way. I want to apologize to her in the morning and say that I over-reacted, I've just been having a bad week, and the way she worded it made me feel like shit.
So girls, would that be "negative" to you if a guy (me) said he was sorry? I care about this girl.
Girls,
>eventually ask out crush
>nothing really happens
>next time I see her I'm already with someone else
>that fling ends
>see someone else, work on
It's over a year since I asked the first girl out but she's been popping up on suggested friends for normie book and I was wondering would it be weird to add her? I rarely add people and people usually add me after meeting me so I don't know if it's normal to add someone after all this time or creepy. I would like to try and reconnect with this girl, she seemed really cool.
>We get it, you didn't do too hot with the ladies in middle school/high school and you missed the boat for sexual/social experimentation
Fuck. I'm not him but that's exactly it. I never got to have any wild carefree middle/highschool teenage fuck fun or anything like apparently everyone else did and it's killing me inside. To this day I still have never gotten to fuck. I'm going to be 19 in a month and a half and yeah technically 19 is still a teenager so I still have a bit over a year but I just don't know. I don't know how to achieve that stuff, I can't get into bars or clubs because not 21, I couldn't get into any fraternities so I can't get into any parties, so the only other option is to get a girlfriend. I've lost a shit ton of weight and I'm losing even more and I'm going to put on muscle, I'm wearing fashionable clothes, have an undercut, all of that, I'm even going to try to get a summer job this summer.
But god damnit all I want in life is to get to fuck, no condom. I don't want money, or drugs, or alcohol (all of which I have offered to me all the time), I don't want boats, or cars, or houses, or clothes, or food, or anything. I just wanna fuck.
It's like a nightmare I can't wake up from.
I need serious help, just what the hell do I do?
Have I been stunted by missing out on all of that? Am I pre-emptively at a disadvantage or something? Is there even anything I can do anymore?
>You're going to get irritable, depressed, develop dangerous addictions and destroy your relationship with all the mental damage that causes, which eventually does cause you to shrivel up and die.
>irritable as fuck
>depressed as fuck
>addicted to too much porn (no I don't have DGS I make sure not to give myself it
>Have to actively hide my misery or else it will destroy any chance of relationships with anyone
>feel mentally damaged
>feel like I'm dying
Why do so many fucking people act like "oh lol its no big deal XD who cares if your a virgin it doesn't matter"
Why aren't there societal mechanisms in place to help people like me?
>>17027382
Why do so many people bitch about all these problems, how they're keeping them bottled up inside and it's slowly killing them, and yet they don't seek out professional help?
Psychologists/psychiatrists are literally paid to help people through this. If you're too much of a "tuff gui" to go out and seek counseling, then you have no fucking right to complain about shit.
>>17027583
The solution to the problem is sex, not some stupid psychologist
My girlfriend and I really want to have bareback sex without the fear of pregnancy. The only problem is we don't like the idea of all these pills and meds that fuck with her hormones and either make her fat, moody or change the chemicals in her head. She's been completely heathy pretty much her whole life. I love her too much to make her go on one of these things as well because I know what this shit does to women (it effects all of them one way or another in all my years with women). I don't like the implications of the long term potential damage it can do to one's health (especially newer, less long-term tested drugs).
Then the other options are the surgeries for the IUD's, which also....aren't appealing, especially with all the horror stories. And she's not crazy about having a thing staying inside of her.
Is there ANYTHING we can do? I've tried looking up things and various other options. I've also found recently that there's male birth control on the way and I'm not even sure how to feel about that either.
Basically, this is what we want. To be able to have sex the old fashioned way, blow a load in her like nature intended, without the fear of pregnancy and hormonal screwing around/health issues. Thank you
Counting days. Hoping for infertility.
These are your options.
>>17016200
Natural birth control.
I used to mock people that do NBC but my wife has been doing it for 8 years now with zero unplanned pregnancies, and I've enjoyed thousands of delicious bareback fucks ending in sweet intimate creampies, so I don't argue anymore.
If your girlfriend has a steady cycle and is diligent about following it, AND YOU DON'T FUCK ON SKETCH DAYS, you'll be able to fuck bareback without getting preggers.
http://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Fertility-Anniversary-Edition/dp/0060881909
>>17016200
Are her periods severe? You could look into copper IUDs. They're not hormonal, but they can make periods worse.
To summarize, I can't figure out how to get laid on my own, I'm making friends with guys who seem to have it down, the end of the semester is rapidly approaching, if I get to the end and I feel like I'm close to, but not quite there yet, to the level of them liking me to let them know about my situation to try to get them to help me, should I tell them? Or should I wait until next semester and continue to work on them longer and then tell them?
Also finals take place May 5th through the 13th, around how long before then will people go into maximum over study mode? (which basically means all social contact is over and then they immediately go home once exams are done)
Because if I'm going to tell them it has to be before then
>Or should I wait until next semester and continue to work on them longer and then tell them?
Yes
>>17029518
Also what I mean by all of this is I am betting that if they like me enough they will feel bad and pull their strings, but I'm not sure if I can get them to like me that much before the semester is out, especially now that people are "busy" so much lately. And even if I can, I don't know if they would have enough time to work their magic.
It will be super painful to wait until late August, but I will only get one shot at "accidentally" "letting it slip" that I've never gotten laid before to pull a "40 year old virgin" stunt on them where they all feel bad and try to pool their resources "your dick is my dick", (except in that movie the guy wasn't secretly telling them on purpose)
>>17029518
>>17029541
And I don't want to do it too early and ruin it
People don't like me
roommates don't like me and go out without me and don't invite me. They care about each other but not me, even when I overdosed they only begrudgingly called an ambulance
I try to make small talk with the woman threading my eyebrows and she gets annoyed at me
A guy was really nice to me and seemed to like me but then when he got drunk he says he didn't really want to have me around but felt obliged to be 'accommodating'
Someone who I thought I was really close to suddenly stopped talking to me months ago
A guy who had sex with me always makes sure to let me know that he's not my boyfriend. I've never had a boyfriend, no one has wanted to date me
Someone said they would add me on facebook but he didn't accept my friend request.
All I do is smile and try to talk to people and they just don't like me no matter what I try.
How do I deal with this?
>>17028194
>when I overdosed
Are you joking? You must be aware of the fact that you're a drag and no one wants to be around that?
>>17028194
Tits or GTFO.
>>17028199
How do I not be a drag? I try my best to be nice and likeable.
>>17026944
A long, painful, boring and expensive experience.
It's a mix of wonderful, crazy, fun days and horribly depressing, stressful, and confusing days.
I wouldn't trade it for anything though.
>>17026944
depends on the college... people who actually attend college make it a different experience. for me, personally, its boring.
Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.
Avoid asking these common questions:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><Random insecurity>
Some do, some don't. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever. It takes hard work, time, and effort.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out. This is something we cannot explain to you. You either have learned to intuit this or you have not. If you have not, the only way to learn is experience--there are no shortcuts. So it comes back to: Just ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.
>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships.
No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking.
>Brandon
Fuck off
Do chicks like being serenaded by a guitarist/musician, or do chicks find that really cliché and douchey?
>>17026289
The best part of being with a musician is when you catch them singing as part of their daily routine, you know, in the shower, or while washing the dishes.
I don't want to be sang for, or about, but I'm probably not the norm.
>>17026289
Only if they're good. Otherwise it's cliche and cringey.
Basically my ex-gf had BPD, she broke up with me for still unknown reasons, at the time it really hurt me and it took me a bit to move along but now im completely over her and i even think to myself wtf did i saw on her.
Anyways out of curiosity i wanted to know how big was the bullet that i ended up dodging. i heard a few stories about BPD people and how crazy they can be especially women but i want to know a few more so pls anyone with stories about people with this disorders would really apreciate to read about it.
Thanks.
>>17025191
I dated a female who had that issue. We were together for about 8 months. Anyways, about a week before my B-day she made all these plans she had planned out for my b-day and even after, seeing how my b-day falls basically on new years. I treated her well, took her to Dr. appointments when I had time, even made time. 2 days before my b-day, things were going great. We went to a park, holding hands, walking around the lake and watched the sunset.
The night before my b-day she calls and says she's not feeling well(the classic bullshit), so we'd just go out to dinner. Anyways, she was cold and acting off that night, we come back to my place and as we're lying on the bed watching T.V. she broke up with me, on my birthday.
You dodged a bullet.
Op here. thats actually really funny. same thing with this girl only dated her for about 3 months she was the one who actually was interested first on me even asked my number anwyays i treated her super well just like you, i went to places with her even re-schedule other things i had to do to be with her and even went to her to her doctor appointments only to have her tell me that she didnt loved me anymore. imao i guess people with that mental issue are really something special. anyways thanks for your storie man appreciated
>>17025191
Honestly, BPD is just adult who never grew the fuck up disorder.
I also happened to know a girl who was diagnosed with it along with depression. The "black and white" thinking with them is beyond ridiculous, she would always lie about how you could be totally open with her but if you ever said anything she didn't like she'd go full asspain mode and say "lol im blocking you on social media bye" or some other passive aggressive bullshit.
She was also a massive hypocrite and would get angry at people for liking something but when she liked it that makes it okay. Likewise if you did something she didn't like but it was okay if she did it.
From what I hear a lot of the feminist/sjw types tend to have this disorder, which makes sense when you think about it because it would take that kind of person to continually deny the facts put in front of them for the sake of saying what will get them the most attention.
Anyways, you dodged quite the bullet there.
Pic somewhat related, this is the kind of special snowflake crap women with BPD will spout because they think they're "not like other girls" in the sense that what they think women are, due to their warped view of people around them and themselves, is not a realistic perspective on how women actually are. Also apparently decent standard hygiene is unfathomable.
Post your story of how you got together with your significant other! I'm a hopeless romantic who loves reading others' love stories, especially when I'm feeling lonely. Maybe it'll help folks like me who are feeling down?
Adding to that, what do you feel was the main thing that allowed you to meet and connect with your partner initially? A place you went, a friend you had, something special you did, etc.
>>17023631
When I met her and locked eyes for a moment, it was love at first sight. I would leave everything and all this just to be fully trusted again
If I'm to find any advice to give out of my own experience, it's to be genuinely satisfied with yourself and your lifestyle first. I don't mean to say that arrogance is how you attract people. It's just that when you feel whole on your own, two great things can happen. The first is that you'll have the confidence to say "Hey, if someone out there is looking for something, I'm pretty damn sure I can provide it within reason." Being well-rounded is vital for seizing opportunity when it presents itself. The other great thing is that you have this rich and fulfilling lifestyle to share with others. We're all people so try to appreciate that others are no less enthusiastic about a fun life than you are. By making that life for yourself first you're sure to have something appealing on hand.
In short, git gud. Gud is sexy.
3 years ago I used to use some livestreaming website where you just sit there and talk to your viewers. I was shy at first but it was so much fun and I made so many friends. Shortly after in the spring, they closed it down but I still just wanted to talk to people. I remembered my sister used to used omegle so I tried it out. Mostly horny people and children. Around a few weeks later I connected with someone and we just talked normally. No one else has my name so,creepily, he looked me up and found my instagram and liked me I guess. He was at work but he had to leave so he gave me his number. We texted a lot and skyped and in June of 2014 we met in person and been together ever since. Best thing that ever happened to me. We talk about it sometimes, things would have been so different it just one of us disconnected from the chat or if I never made the decision of going to omegle anyway. Haven't used the site since. He even says he doesn't even know why he gave me his number since we were strangers, which is really funny to me haha.
I really really hate this hookup culture thing thats going around. Like people 'experimenting' and having a shitton of casual sex.
Honestly I dont see how anyone who engages or has engaged in casual sex can make any substantial argument for monogamy and there is no value to entering in a monogamous relationship with them.
But because so many women are whores it makes it hard to even look at a woman and consider her more than a fleshlight to relieve sexual frustration because thats how she acts.
What are some ways I can meet a woman who doesnt engage or has engaged in casual sex. Our beliefs are 100% incompatible and Im tired of falling for the trap of dating a girl only to find out she used to be a slut in college or something.
>>17025908
Church.
I'm not even that religious but I've befriended a bunch of religious boys because I have the same problem.
I'm a girl who's kept my virginity because I think it's reckless and irresponsible to sleep around when you wouldn't be able to financially support a child (on the off chance that one is conceived).
Most of my non religious guy friends were in to hookup culture in college and still kind of have slutty attitudes towards sex.
>>17025908
I recommend cutting your top knot off and stop watching anime
>>17025919
Church is a little extreme. Not really an environment to meet people.
Should I have kids?
My girlfriend and I are about to graduate and have been together for 4 years. She was fine with not having kids till like 30 until this year.
I've been busting my ass to get my degree and finally have some money for a fridge full of food and a car that doesn't scare me and she's badgering me about kids at 23. I havnt lived yet and want to experience some shit before getting into something like that. Are there any pros to kids?
My mom even says her biggest regret is having kids because she spent all her money on us.
>>17023098
this. This is precisely why i borke up. I'm 22 and she was 23.
>>17023098
>My mom even says her biggest regret is having kids
gee thanks mom
>falling for the having kids meme
![4i9ok6LRT[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/wNNuOYK.jpg "4i9ok6LRT[1]")
