Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 983. page
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Does anyone here know laws about what government agencies can and cannot do in the US? Are agents of any govt agency required to tell you who they are or at least what govt agency they work for?
>>17016547
>Are agents of any govt agency required to tell you who they are or at least what govt agency they work for?
Wouldn't that completely defeat the purpose of them hiding who they are and what they do in some circumstances?
>>17016554
Well it's just ive been having weird encounters . I think I'm being pranked but I'm not 100% sure .
Just like skinwalkers
>You do not need to worry about them.
dating a really cute chick, 3rd date unexpectedly bring her to my dorm, we dont fuck, only makeout and dry hump. 5th date i bring her to my dorm, got her top off, madout, dry hump but still no sex. everytime i tried to initiate it she just pushed my hand away from her pussy and said "no." Wtf im so pissed, im giving this girl one last chance, if nothing happens, ima just call it off. What do you guys think?
Maybe she isn't ready to have sex with you?
>if nothing happens ima just call it off
Good call.
how about you try asking her instead of us retard
How do I get laid? How can I find a girl that's down to fuck? I have no luck on online dating apps, and please don't recommend hookers.
For the record, I am on the path of self improvement but I just can't find a girl I can cuddle with every weekend night.
Oh look, another "help I think having sex will improve my quality of life, help me find a skank with no moral values or respect for herself"
No.
>>17016529
Fuck you, you stupid faggot. Human bonding is perfectly normal and many people are deprived from it.
>>17016539
>How do I get laid?
Yeah, you're definately looking for some healthy, normal human bonding.
/adv/ is packed with these fucking Threads all the time.
This post turned out longer than I expected so beware.
How do I stop setting excessively high performance demands on myself?
I dislike self diagnosing myself like this, but in order to describe my situation I'm going to say that I suffer from some kind of perfectionism. At least that's what I think. I have for some time now been setting unrealistic goals that I can never achieve and it's starting to get tiresome. I always have these thoughts in the back of my head saying that I need to do something productive all the time or to learn everything there is to learn, when I for example study a new subject.
A great example is collage. I take my studies seriously and I try do my best there, but I always feel like I'm never doing enough. I always compare myself to my peers and think less of myself when I don't perform as well as they do. It's kind of demoralizing for me because at collage, I'm constantly surrounded by these really talented people about my own age that know more and also have achieved so much more than me. Regular thoughts go something along the lines with: "Why haven't you also done everything that X has?", "How come that you don't know as much as X does?" and "Look how hard X is studying right now, why aren't you also studying equally as hard?". It's not only that I compare myself with my peers. I compare myself with different professors and Ph.D students at my collage as well, thinking to myself that I'm inferior for not being at their level. It sounds absurd I know, but It is what I do on a daily basis.
cont. in next post
> cont.
Another thing that I also have noticed recently is that I freak out whenever I don't remember things that I have studied in previous courses, especially previous math courses. If I know that I'm uncertain of something, I get the thoughts telling me that I will never succeed in future courses and, if I even make it that far, my future work life.
I am aware of that I'm not really in the position of whining over the fact that I'm not smart enough or haven't achieved enough, when I don't have the self discipline to invest the time needed to do so. Even when I do decide on that I should learn something new, it doesn't take long before I lose all motivation to continue because "I will never become an expert at it anyway". It often results in me trying to escape reality by play video games, which makes the whole thing even worse. It's feels like I'm trapped in an evil circle very much like pic related and it has become really exhausting.
So all in all, how do I break this negative behavior?
Thank you in advance.
Hey OP,
My Psychologist told me to never compare to other people. Always compare to past yourself.
Stupid Cunt didn't tell me how to do that so I'm in the same boat as you.
>>17016570
Haha I'm sorry. I've heard people say that it is unfair to compare yourself to others because you don't have the same background and conditions. Skilled and talented people have devoted their entire life to doing that one thing they really love. Practice makes perfect, which means that it is only natural that they will be more skilled than you at their subject. That being said it is not impossible for you to rise to their level, it just takes time and devotion. I like to imagine it as an online multiplayer game. Say that you just created a new character, your stats are at the lower limit and you see a really high level player. I mean, it's illogical to think that you should just obtain that players stats in the blink of an eye without lifting a finger. No, it would take an immense amount of grinding to get to the point where they are at.
It's weird that I can reason like this and still struggle with these issues
As long as it is close to work, why not live in a cheap apartment?
Benefits include a short commute and cheap rent, easy access to downtown areas, and walkable or bikeable neighborhoods.
I could even buy a cheap place if I want.
Are you okay with crime, vandalism, police sirens at all hours, people soliciting you for all sorts of things, people trying to sell you illegal things, and a general feeling of being unsafe?
Depends on your town. My town is relatively safe, so at worst I might get my car broken into. But in other towns you could get shot or mugged. I'd say no, if you're white you're a walking target.
>>17016504
I used to live next to a giant hospital. Helicopters and ambulance runs went by literally every night.
I slept great.
I can tell I'm starting to close off and just shut down in general. I've always been a self-LESS person. I used to always put others before myself. But now it seems just the opposite. I've been trying to improve myself physically and mentally. But doing so is causing me to shut off from people. I don't know why, but it is. I just feel really lost and confused. Also, extremely jaded and bitter. I'm not sure what to do.
Basically. I just want to keep to myself as much as possible. Be alone, and workout. That's literally all I can think about. But it upsets me because I think it's effecting my few friendships.
Oh man, I'm in the same boat. Bumping for more info.
You swung from one awful extreme to the other.
Being selfless isn't a virtue. It's not even just wrong. It's one of the worst possible things a person can do to himself. You are the only human being on this planet responsible for your interests. Abandoning your responsibility to yourself is no better than having abandoned an absolute responsibility to anyone else. What's more, at some level you necessarily put the burden for your interests onto other people. After all if you're not looking after them, someone has to.
But now you've finally embraced your self-interest in a hug so damn tight that you're being myopic. While you are responsible for yourself, you cannot fulfill those needs without the participation of other people. In the most basic sense this is because you will at times have dire needs which exceed your capabilities. You will fall ill, you will face disaster, you will reach the limits of your single mind and body. But in the bigger picture you're also not an island unto yourself. You live in a world where 7 billion other human lives impact you in greater or lesser ways. When those lives intersect with your needs, the resolution of those problems requires involvement with their source. Put simply you'll need to deal with the interests of other people in order to serve your own. (e.g., the tragedy of the commons)
You cannot be alone and find peace there. Nor can you find it in your old habits, because no one is going to deliver you your happiness. The answer is somewhere in the middle. You need to take responsibility for your life as a self-interested individual while respecting that "responsibility" doesn't mean "do it all myself." It means being in charge of finding the fulfillment of yours needs AND the people in life who can help you with that task.
>>17016532
I hate myself. And I've been depressed over the years. So I finally decided to do something about it. I'm "re-inventing" myself completely. New clothes, look, trying to learn a new language, working out again, teaching myself to cook, and I am trying to travel alone. But that's all I want to do. I don't want to be around any people or talk to anyone. I used to always like to go hang out with people. But now I just want to be completely isolated.
What's hotter? Tucked or untucked for button down shirts?
>>17016461
Depends
If you untuck it the air flow is better so it is hotter to tuck it.
>>17016471
/thread
/pol/, I am honestly struggling with keeping myself alive. Day after day the urge to kill myself grows even stronger. I don't know what to do to fix this feeling, nothing helps.
Driving down the freeway I struggle to not jerk the fucking wheel as hard as I can at 100MPH into a guard rail or tree.
Come home from work my urge to grab my shotgun and blow my brains out is becoming hard to ignore.
I'm doing everything I can to shake this feeling and survive because I know it makes me somewhat of a coward to end my life. I can barely sleep because my mind can't do anything except think about ending my life.
>>17016440
would like to say something positive, but it's kinda hard, as I dont know you. Get something to do, something where you see progress, something freeing you from thinking about this trist world 24/7.
>>17016440
Hit the reset button. Make a lot of money for a few years and move to a completely foreign country. I'm 100% serious. If you don't want clinical help, do this.
Meet people or find a hobby if you're in need of a purpose for life.
Should I be mad about my girlfriend going out salsa dancing with her single roommate? Dancing just seems like a sexual thing to me.
No.
If this is a regular thing, where she goes out and does stuff in which you don't partake, you might consider stepping down to a "friends with benefits" thing. You're only going to feel bitter and neglected as your paranoia grows.
>>17016434
Yes, but the better question is, are you retarded?
The question you really need to be worry about is why your gf lives with a single dude.
I've recently broken up. I love this person, but I'm not in love. I'm making a promise to never touch myself in vain and wait for them until they come back again. I pray and ask God to bring them back into my life. There's no such thing as a sun without rays, right? Will I go insane?
>>17016423
No, you've already gone insane and you'll slowly but steadily start to regain your sanity as time goes on.
>>17016436
I don't want to be with someone else. We've been through so much, our good and bad times mean my life to me.
>>17016436
I've become a very frigid person. I focus only on them. I'm not rude to couples who seem so happy together, I want what they all have.
Hey /adv/, sorry if this belongs on /fit/ or something else but I really need advice on the best way to work out my body. I'm not fat, I weigh 145 pounds, I'm 5'10, I'm actually pretty slim but I'd like to have an actual nice body to look at. I'm not looking to be ripped, pic related would honestly be fine for me. So what are some good work outs or exercises I can try to work out my stomach/chest? Also, any foods or activities I should avoid? I am a guy, and also my chest are stomach are a bit hairy, would it be wise to shave? Again, pic is not me, just sort of what I'm looking for.
dumbell curls, lunges and squats with them try bench too
>>17016366
If just waant to look tonnes start doing some skipping every day, and a bit of jogging if you feel. If your looking for power, push ups situps squats and pull ups and a good stretching session. If your looking for size drink lots of water and do high intensity high resistance exersizes something you can only get like 5 reps out of and do a few sets
>>17016366
Five essential exercises:
Bench press
Squat
Deadlift
Pull-up
Farmer walk
>we claim to be an advanced species
>we haven't even developed a scientific method to acquire a girlfriend
shameful.
>>17016305
>we claim to be an advanced species
>some need a scientific method to acquire a girlfriend
shameful
>>17016305
no method needed same way its been going on for centuries: its called talking to them
>>17016325
>>17016337
These. It's not a matter of science, OP; human behavior never is. You just need to admit to yourself that girls are human, for good and for ill, and move forward from there.
Went to this place called Barcade. It's an arcade bar. Clever right? Anyway, I went with my newly official gf. I'm 26 and never had a gf. While waiting for her to finish her last beer cuz we were horny and ready to leave, I went to go waste some tokens cuz I still had a bunch. It was late and no one was playing anything except this one girl.
I went to the machine, challenged her and we started fighting in Tekken. We chatted a bit and she was kicking my ass cuz I suck at Tekken. I get a phone call, excuse myself, tell her I wanna rematch and go take the call.
When I came back she wasn't at the machine so I went to look for her. She was with her dude, but accepted my challenge. Lost again.
Gf got mad at me for "playing with another girl" and "looking for her" but I thought she was being ridiculous.
Some context: It was a full beer and she drinks SO slow. I offered to play with her and she refused. I didn't want to play a CPU.
Did I break some kind of bf/gf rule?
You did.
Do not shift focus onto other women when you're out with your gf. It was effectively a date. You stepped away from your date to hang around another woman.
>>17016285
if she was horny you could've teased her and shit. massive turn off to just go and do something else. you did something wrong
yea dude what he said. just apologize and say that it was rude not to spend time with her and the next dates will be different. DONT say "sorry i wasnt paying attention to you" that makes it seem like she is needy and you're doing some chore to spend time with her.
Hey guys, I'm facing an ethical dilemma right now and I need some advice.
This week, I bought a new iPhone. I was supposed to pay a 50% down payment, but the salesman accidentally gave me a 100% discount on the initial payment instead of a 50% one. He called me today and told me about it and said that if I don't pay him $330 (the down payment), then the store would deduct it from his salary.
I'm pretty sure he's not lying but I could totally be wrong. I have the bill right here and I see where he fucked up. However, he also tried to rip me off with a "free" tablet. The tablet was $100 and he said I'd get a $100 Visa gift card in the mail. However, the tablet would be tied to a 2-year contract in which I'd have to pay $10 a month. So because of that I don't completely trust the guy.
So what should I do? Should I pay him the down payment? Or should i just keep it for myself?
>>17016270
ignore his calls lol
You should call the store--not identifying yourself--and ask for the name of the manager on duty today. Then go in and ask to speak to the manager. Sort it out with him, not the salesman.
It doesn't matter if he gets in trouble at this point. It matters whether or not the phone company catches the error down the line and either terminates your contract or threatens you with collections.
>>17016270
yeah ignore him. he tried to lie to you, why should you trust him again? block his number if you can, file a complaint if he tries to contact you on something else and harangues you about it. it's not deducted from his salary, he just doesn't make a commission on it. he is willing to lie tho to make it sound like a missed opportunity = you are stealing money from him
what a scumbag, this is why i never fucking trust salesmen.
>be me, 21, 6ft, good career, good looking, dress well, confident but recovering from years of social anxiety and sometimes not assertive enough.
>2 days ago
>go out with our girl group of friends to go bowling, drinking etc.
>everyone hooks up with one of them except for me and one other chick
>the other girl who is cute and might be into me tries repeatedly to get me to stay and hang out with her
>mostly think she just didn't wanna be left alone when everyone else is having sex but her
>don't stay cause tired and awkward and not confident in my sexuality anyway
After two unsuccessful sexual experiences and being around women who are much more sexually experienced than I am I can't even imagine trying something because I don't want word of my inexperience getting around, or ruining the friendships I have cultivated. And definitely not confident enough in my abilities to actually try something with any of the girls I've talked to off tinder. I feel like my female friends regard me as asexual.
tl;dr how into sexual confidence as a virgin? male?
>word of my inexperience getting around, or ruining the friendships I have cultivated
Talk to a therapist about these elaborate nonsensical scenarios you have made up in your head to sabotage yourself.
>>17016198
I love my female friends but they can kinda gossipy and I like having them as friends. But yeah, I self-sabotage alot.
>>17016198
fuck, that is elaborate and nonsensical, I gotta stop flooding my mind with nightmare scenarios.
