Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 988. page
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>I'd be happy to have lunch with you and your friend but I don't feel comfortable going on a one on one date with someone I haven't seen in several years
What did she mean by this? What's uncomfortable about not having seen someone for several years.
>>17014556
Probably doesn't trust you/doesn't want to be stuck alone with someone she may not enjoy spending time with.
>>17014556
She assumes that she will be uncomfortable/that it will be awkward if it's just the 2 of you.
Not having seen someone for several years in itself is not awkward.
What is your history like with this girl? Perhaps she thinks you may have had a crush on her and wants to make it clear that she's still only interested in a platonic relationship?
At any rate, try not to take it personally. Go hang out with her and a friend and show her that you've grown to be fun and sociable in the last couple years.
If she enjoys hanging out with you, then she'll be more comfortable with the idea of a 1 on 1 date
>>17014570
Met her a couple years ago through parents. Saw her parents by chance recently and asked her out.
Some months ago i began to hangout with my new occurred friend... Like a lot... After some time we kissed and i began to develop feelings for her... i'm like a emotional bomb, soon to explode... Since then we have being kissing a lot and sometimes it ended out in sex...
After the first time we kissed, she said she don't want to start anything serious, but she likes what we are doing. After some time i told her my feelings, and she still don't feel the same way. At that time she also said "If i meet a nice boy in a club, i wouldn't hesitate to kiss him". If i remember right she also said she normally wouldn't do anything like we are doing now... But she's still doing it, so i really need some advice, how to handle my feelings and the relationship we are having. I'm just not the guy for sex/kiss only relationships, so i'm really on the edge... I really love her, but i can't take the thought of her kissing random people without hesitation, when she still doing thing with me.
Btw it was her who always made the first moves. When we kissed, had sex and invited me over.
So should i just drop her completely, go a bit back and keep her as an ordinary friend, keep on going and hide my feelings as well as i can?
Just give me any advice you think will fit.
Hello anon. I woul personally advice you to explain your feellings well to her. Maybe you should go out more. Like on dates and shit and then get to a point where you think she feels the same towards you. If it's unbareable just confess to her. But from what you say this girl really loves casual sex, so be careful with that.
>>17014577
If anything, I think OP should stay away from her. He's starting to develop feelings for someone he's never gonna be in a relationship with. This is only going to hurt him more as time goes on.
>>17014577
Thanks for the tip, i really shouldn't have confessed directly... however I have tried asking her out on dates and for some little walks, but she just want to cuddle in the bed :/
The funny thing is that she've never done casual sex before, i have known her kinda well for 4 years now. So it's confusing...
I really thinking about holding back, i'm just not the type for casual sex.
>>17014586
I kinda feel the same way... But the problem is we are still pretty good friends so it would be a shame to throw our friendship way... But if it's necessary, i'll do it :/
My girlfriend and I never have had sex. There's been penetration with fingers, and the off chance of dried precum, mostly after urination on my fingers.
What are the odds of her being pregnant?
She's a week from her usual period time and is showing pms.
But she spotted a brown dot on her panties today. Something to worry about?
She is not nauseous or is she showing any pregnancy symptoms.
We are both 20.
Zero unless she's fucking someone else behind ur back.
Relax.
>>17014538
>We are both 20.
Its completely unacceptable for a pair of 20 year olds to be this stupid.
>>17014538
>What are the odds of her being pregnant?
Not quite zero, but close enough as makes no practical difference. But letting her go first (or, you know, washing your hands) would be even better.
Are all girls kind of demanding? Have now my fourth girlfriend and everyone of them acted so shy and submissive in the beginning but after some months they turned out to be very demanding, making rules, etc. My current girlfriend already wants to convince me with good names for our future kids, she pressures me that we gonna have many cats and a dog because she always wanted that (even I said in the beginning I never wanna have a dog), she decides where wo go for holiday, etc.
Those examples may sound a bit strange but I think you know what I mean. I claim that I'm not much of a beta, I'm telling her clearly my oppinions but then she just goes into stubborn "anyway" mode. Is that normal? It drives me crazy sometimes.
How should I react in a situation like that?
>>17014500
Ignore her and continue to do what you want. Basically be selfish, and don't really pay attention to her because she does that to you. Make her feel worthless and regress to her submissive state.
/inb4 terrible advice
Why don't you want a dog? Dogs are great.
>>17014500
>I never wanna have a dog
what kind of man are you
Hey /adv/, first time poster in here and pretty much in all of 4chan, so please excuse me if I have no idea what I’m doing.
Here's the situation I'm in: I'm 19 and I’ve been in what I think is a happy, healthy and loving relationship for a year and a half now. Prior to that, I was in a different relationship for roughly 6 months. Prior to that, I didn’t have very much confidence when it came to pursuing girls and was also in that awkward stage in terms of my looks. Today, I feel as though I’ve reached my peak attractiveness and I have also grown to be quite a confident young fellow.
I am very happy with my girlfriend and I see a future with her, I really do. We have an awesome relationship, even with the last 7 months of it having been long distance (I’ve just moved away for my first year of University). I love her, she loves me, we’ve both shown a great deal of commitment to each other with the whole long distance thing, we’re well past the infatuation stage and we both still think we’re awesome. Great! She supports my ridiculous hobbies and her goals in life seem to align well with mine. Also great! She also just got accepted into the same University that I’m at and will be here in the Fall, putting an end to our long distance relationship. I am already moving back for the Summer, but this ensures that for at least the next 4 years, we’ll be living in the same place. You get the idea, we have a solid thing going on here that I think has great potential to last.
(Part 1)
(Part 2)
So, what’s the issue? Well, to put it as succinctly as I can (which is not one of my strong points), I just find myself attracted to and interested in pursuing other girls. Some of you may be saying that’s normal, but I think it’s starting to go beyond where it should. That, and the feeling is relatively new. When at the bar or club with friends I find myself interested in approaching girls. When on Facebook I find myself interested in sparking conversations with girls I used to have my eyes on, but never gave a shot with. I picture myself having first dates with other people I meet. I’ve been thinking about what it would be like to have a Tinder account and meet new girls.
I’m not sure exactly what’s causing this, but I have a couple theories. One theory I have is that since I’ve gained the level of confidence that I now have, I’ve only ended up pursuing a small handful of girls, one of which being the girl I dated for a while and the other being the one I am currently dating. As bad as it sounds, pursuing girls is very fun and I feel as though I haven’t really gotten to do very much of it, making me thirst for it. Another theory is that it may have something to do with the long distance. I didn’t feel this way when I got to see her often, so maybe this comes from the void that that has created by that changing?
(Part 3)
Let me make one thing clear. I have never and have no plan on acting on any of these feelings. I would never do that. However, these feelings are very strong, stronger than I feel they should be… and it feels rather wrong to have them, especially when they used to be pretty completely nonexistent. I would barely even bat my eye at an attractive girl walking by before. My mindset used to be more along the lines “meh, I’m happy with my girlfriend, no need to even look” and while I am still just as happy with her, I now find myself curious and interested in pursuing others even though (from what I can tell) there is nothing that I would like to seek from these other girls that my current girlfriend does not provide, other than perhaps the “thrill” of talking to someone new.
What are your honest thoughts on this? I’m obviously young and relatively new to the world of serious relationships, so I don’t have much to base my thoughts on. Do other people feel this way while in long-term relationships? While married, even? Am I worried for no reason?
tl;dr Been dating same girl for 1.5 years, have solid relationship with bright future, but somehow I’m interested in other girls? What gives? Am I shitty person? Am I being greedy by wanting to “have fun”? Is it because of the distance?
Thank you in advance for your thoughts.
It appears that this is an issue you may need to sort out yourself, I can only provide well thought out plans. I understand the need for adventure, which if you wish to explore do so, but understand the chances of destroying the good thing present is there. If you feel that the present is not worth risking do not explore. I am also young and I have decided logically that it is actually best to not date at all because I understand that someone compatible with me is one in a million. Just think through options, would you risk losing your mate
I'm extremely depressed and feel more anxiety now than I ever have in my life; I feel so nervous and alone right now even though I do have friends
the reason why is because tonight is the night in which I sleep alone, which I haven't for the passed seven months or so. Every night, my girlfriend slept with me, everything was perfect and we were so happy, I won't go over why she is gone, it isn't relevant, but I feel it is going to be an extremely rough night for me as to try to sleep, when I have already cried and felt loneliness to a point where I genuinely feel sick, headaches, dizzy, things like that, and it didn't hit me so bad until I really started thinking about it.
I'm typing too much, but I will explain at least why this affects me so much:
throughout my life I have been severely neglected, I have always went through an immense amount of emotional pain, being hated, abused, controlled in an abusive manner which made me more lonely, and destroyed mentally by those whom I thought loved me.
Eventually I found my latest girlfriend, who helped so much, made me happy, made me feel loved and cared for, and slept with me each day, and she was identical to me and so we loved this type of attention from each other.
Now she is gone, and I feel so fucking dead inside, I don't know how I am going to sleep properly, I hate the insomnia in which depression births.
I don't know what to do now, I feel so terrible.
>>17014430
>everything was perfect and we were so happy
Evidently not
>>17014435
She is dead. We didn't break up.
>>17014487
And you couldn't save her.
The girl I like called me too muscular. She used the work bulky in particular.
Since then Ive been looking at my stats in comparison to others and shes right I am too bulky. How do I lose muscle mass. I weigh about 185lbs at 6'.
In particular my arms are bulky compared to my body. The circumference of my bicep/tricep is about 15 1/4 inches while the average is about 11 3/4 inches. Or something like 39 vs 30 centimeters. My chest is like 44~45 inches.
I do go to the gym a lot in comparison to my friends. But its not like Im lifting huge numbers. max bench is 245lbs and I never max curl really but Ive lifted a 65lb weight in one hand before.
My legs are really strong from running track but I doubt she even looked at my legs when she made the image of me being bulky. I dont have a max number for squats because Ive always been afraid of my leg snapping after being here too long and seeing videos of it.
>>17014422
>The fall of an alpha.
This bitch will complain that you are too masculine and when you size down she'll be waiting to hit you with "you're too scrawny now, I wanna date chad". Fuck her man, do what you love and find someone more suitable. This bitch will destroy your life my man, you do not want to look back at the end of that relationship and say "I wish I never gave up gymming for that whore"
>>17014422
dude enter your stats here
http://symmetricstrength.com/
and post a screenshot of your level
>>17014548
This this this a million times this. Stop lifting for no one. If she can't accept you as you are now, she's not worth your time.
>People close to me call me a Shaman.
>Innate ability to provide illuminating insight
What's going on?
Problems, questions, quarrels. Let me help.
I have food poisoning. What the fuck do I do? Been laying in bed all day feeling like I'm dying.
>>17014390
What should I spend a large tax refund on?
My only hobby is anime.
I already have a lot of savings.
Can I pay you to be my personal advisor on Skype?
are LDRs really as bad as the overwhelming majority of the board makes them out to be?
ive been thinking about telling a girl i've known online for a couple of years now that i have feelings for her, but the ldr hate on this board makes me really skeptical. I already have plans to move out towards that area shes living in but that wont be able to happen until around this time next year.
should i tell her now and try to make he relationship work for a year online? or just wait until i'm closer and hope she doesn't get in a serious relationship in the meantime?
>>17014347
Whats the point of incurring all the costs of a relationship without any of the benefits?
Depends on several factors, in my opinion.
>how long distance
>your age
>ability to see each other (time, cost, etc)
>attitude towards LDR
>>17014355
>how long distance
minnesota to oregon
>your age
19 and 20
>ability to see each other (time, cost, etc)
is this asking about real life visits? potentually possible, im currently working a job and going to college (reason for the year) so it would need to be during this summer or during a break in the school year. online though we see each other on teamspeak pretty much every day and text besides that anyways.
>attitude towards LDR
never been in one personally, i know shes been in two in the past, i know one was kind of superficial, and the other one i don't know the context of why it ended.
Sup /fa/
I had this haircut for like 3 years now and just can't stand my hair getting to my eyes etc but I'm afraid of changes. I don't like to look any more stupid that it is now. What haircut do you suggest? Btw I wear glasses if this changes amything
Half ponytail. You'll feel/seem wierd at fuest but then people think you're badass. Also doesn't get in eyes.
>>17014236
Go to a nice barber and ask them. They'll give you a book of different styles to look through. But do some googling first so you have an idea.
Cut it short. Not bald but short. Itll feel so freeing and it gives you a chance to try something new. Maybe you'll grow it out again or maybe you'll like it like that. Its just freeing when you do it, a fresh start. And if you look stupid, it'll grow back. Who cares what others think. Why waste time wondering what they think?
How do I find out if I'm adopted without asking my parents
>>17014216
Get your whole family to have a detailed genetic test, most likely the one from 23andMe.
That'll tell you a whole lot more than just whether you're adopted or not.
>>17014216
not sure exactly. I'm guessing your birth certificate would get amended if you're adopted. depending on the laws where you live, the amended birth certificate may or may not have your birth parents' names on it. your original birth certificate may or may not be easy to get.
call the records office of the county where you were born. explain that you think you may have been adopted and you'd like to know whether your birth certificate would show that. some places may not be able to give you the original. it might be sealed, but you might be able to get it released with a court order.
>>17014229
only problem I could see with this plan is a) the cost and b) trying to come up with a plausible excuse for convincing your family to take a genetic test. idk what kind of samples they need for that. maybe you can just get it surreptitiously without asking them. that probably violates some privacy law or something though.
>>17014239
23andme requires about 2 tablespoons of saliva. I think Ancestry does the same.
I don't have an incentive to do anything in life. Am I doomed?
Maybe.
Maybe not.
How should I know?
>>17014214
There isn't a yes or no answer.
I'm just some guy on the internet though.
You're probably just scared of the possibility ahead you, it's called Atychiphobia.
I met a really, really great girl about two months ago. I never have much friends, I just don't want to go out with people I'm not that interested in, it has to be someone special. She sees it the same way and we spend most of the time we're at dorm together. Both at uni.
The thing is, not long after we met she told me about her long lasting relationship with a girl which ended last summer. But she also briefly told me about a guy she used to date for a while before the girl.
I don't know what to do now...I love spending time with her and I can see that she likes it too. Yesterday we were sitting in a crowded bar and some dude who was sitting at our table, rolling a joint asked us if we are in love with each other. And yeah, lately I've been feeling like I'm falling in love with her. I just want to kiss her when we're together but I'm afraid I'd fuck everything up...how to deal with this situation?
I've never been much good with the first moves and this shit just got it even more complicated.
I don't get it, what's the problem here?
>>17014210
She basically told me she is a lesbian.
Just try it.
Should i seek help? Today i had a sharp knife in my hand i wslked passed a mirror. I stopped and looked and started pretending to stab my self in the throat. Each time the linge got closer and closer. I started think about how i could just do it and nothing would matter. My family would have no idea what happened but i then started thing who cares? I could just end right now, im an inch away i can almost feel it. Everyone i know and love will be dead in 100 years. We will all be dust.
Btw this seems to happen whenever im near sharp objects, death drops, or busses/trains. I feel like my body is in a sleep paralysis and i cant move whenever these thoughts come. The things is, its almost like i think of it as less sad and more i could just end it all and it wouldn't actually matter.
Pic is the carving i made with knife.
>>17014182
Lunge*
>>17014182
I do this a lot too. Not always suicidal... just fucking about sometimes.
Please someone reply. Im getting freaked out. I'm realizing I've been having these thoughts my whole life. Am I crazy?
Has anyone ever taken a semester off from school before? What was it like?
I'm supposed to register for my next semester, first semester of junior year, next week but I still have absolutely no clue what I want to major in, what kind of career I want, or what I even see myself doing.
Everything is moving so fast, I feel like I need to just stop for a minute and think of a plan before moving forward. But I'm also afraid that I might be wasting too much time if I take a whole semester off just to think about what I even want to study.
I tried Computer Science so I can because a code monkey but I'm absolute shit at math so I decided against it
I thought about teaching history but that job is almost impossible to get and not to mention the liberal arts field is not a field I want to be in. I'm also very socially inept and anxious and don't think I can pull off a job that requires me to speak in front of crowds
>>17014173
I'm am in exactly the same boat. I have no idea what to do with my life. Fuck my life anons.
>>17014186
Is this it for us, anon?
Is this how people become NEETs?
I'm in a similar boat. I got a very decent job (for my age) in the IT field at a big company and took a semester off of school. (I'm really enjoying only having to work and not deal with homework and shit) I only had about a year in and I really don't want to go back. I was just doing enough to get by in the classes and failed calculus twice and said fuck it.
I will go back for sure but I want to make sure I'm ready so I'm not wasting anymore time and money. If your head isn't in it OP, take some time to think it out and make a solid decision before you go back. Have a goal you can work toward (getting your degree in a field where you actually want to work) I will be exploring the different teams to see what I have an interest in and will go back to school and focus on that. A lot of people in my field do not have very specific degrees. Just general computer degree but in a highly technical job. Take what you want from this but it's long enough, hopeful my two cents can give you some insight and point you in the right direction.
