Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 442. page
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I think I need some help...
I'm the oldest among my siblings, yesterday I came beck from work to find that my younger brother, have moved some stuff into my room, in order to move in, and in doing so he ruined my "comfy" place.
Eventually an argument raised and my mother ended up crying.
Did I over react?
>>17264103
I hate when people mess with my shit too, and they never think they did anything wrong.
Your mother crying means that there is some other thing bothering her and this was the last straw.
>>17264119
>Your mother crying means that there is some other thing bothering her and this was the last straw.
I believe so too, her health isn't that well.
I try to be sensitive to her, but somehow I end up the bad guy.
>argument over comfy place
yes, you overreacted, you autist.
Ok guys special matter here.
Gotta go to a birthday party. Yay.
I come from /fa/.
They told me "Dress elegant. But look like a communist. Put on a tie."
Also it's hot as fuck.
Would you consider this a proper outfit? I'm posintg here since i need a more social point of view than the exquisites on /fa/.
No I wouldn't. What the fuck? First off, is it a formal occasion? If so, tuck your shirt in, ditch the weird wide brimmed flat tie for a skinnier one. Are those dress pants? I hope so. Make sure your shoes match your belt. Ditch the jacket for one that fits better
Did you cut the tie yourself? Also, unless it's a birthday party for the Fuhrer I'm not going to wear a tie. I would get rid of the tie and unbutton the top button. That's party mode.
>>17264098
Is it formal?
If it isn't, no tie and no jacket. You can go with a shirt, jeans and nice shoes.
If it is formal, find a fucking fitting jacket and a decent tie. These suck.
found out from my co-worker today that I'm going to loose my job and I feel like such a fool
I was put on at a resteraunt over a busy period, and it seems like after that they are just going to get rid of me when they don't need me
I work my hands to the bone for these people, and I'm stung that they wouldn't even telegraph it to me; rather they would just suddenly say goodby and leave me scrambling to find more work, I feel disgraced tht I was the last person to know it was happening
What advice are you asking for?
Start finding new employment and leave with grace, faggot.
>>17264002
Ah yus, I remeber a time i loosed my job.
it was defiantly won of the werst days ever. Irregardless, I holeheartedly serched 4 another won. All of a sudden, I got won after 2 moths of serching.
"woo hoo" I sed.
Open your own restaurant and run them into the ground by providing better service.
Honestly there isn't much advice we can give you other than what was said by >>17264023
Is it a bad thing to have high standards? My high standards only involve personality, hobbies, job stuff etc. I don't care about looks at all, as long as the guy showers and I'd hope for a small to average penis, not big.
For example, I want a guy who doesn't drink alcohol and doesn't do drugs. Is it too unrealistic to expect that?
>>17263979
What exactly are you searching for though? It sounds like you are just looking for someone that is a male version of yourself?
Your standards are still based on superficial things though. These things don't define someone anymore than what they look like. Searching for the right romantic partner is not about finding someone who exactly fits your mould of what YOU think is perfect. The perfect guy for you might drink and do drugs and might be into entirely different hobbies than you. It comes down to what they can offer you emotionally and how you connect as human beings.
So yes, it is unrealistic to be waiting around for this mystical perfect man. Focus on being the person you want to be yourself and you will attract the right people eventually.
>>17264043
I see. Well I still am going to turn down alcoholics and drug addicts, but if a guy can use them moderately it will be okay.
I've been dumped for having too different hobbies than the guy I was dating so I thought that's just normal to want to have something in common?
>I'm also obnoxiously religious
>I will never make more than $15/hour
>I think we should split the housework even if I don't work anywhere near as hard as my husband
>I don't really know how to cook or keep a clean house
>But I just want a nice, funny guy, y'know?
For a few years now I can't really experience any emotions other than the occasional anger or satisfaction. I don't remember being happy, enthusiastic or sad in a long time and I can't really connect with other people.
When my grandma who raised me for a few years died I was bothered only by the fact that I have to travel to her town and attend the funeral. Someone there even asked me how I can be so detached at the funeral. Even if I imagine one of my friends or parents dying I can only see myself being bothered by the implications and not by their actual death. I also am not interested in meeting new people or even spending too much time with my friends. I only go out once every 2 weeks or so and I spend most of my free time in solitude. This also means I haven't have a girlfriend or even sex since I was a teenager because I lost almost all my interest in these things, I'm fine with masturbating once a couple of days.
According to google this may be a sign of depression, but I really don't feel depressed. I actually feel quite good about life overall, but I can't say I'm exactly happy and I feel like I'm missing out on something. When I was a child and even as a teenager (I'm 23 now) I was very emotional, I was the kind of kid who cried at a sad movie or story and I would let anything affect me, be it positive or negative. I kind of miss being so happy and enthusiastic for little reason, even though some things are much better now.
So has anyone experienced this? Any guesses as to what the cause might be? Can it be reversed?
>Can it be reversed?
Why would you do that? You can think completely clearly now without distractions.
Either you have a rollercoaster of emotions or you have a steady level of contentedness at best. I'd rather have the latter.
Let's all love Lain.
I managed to get married though despite having snake-like levels of feelings. I can appreciate physical comforts at least.
Sex is not really happening admittedly.
What does this mean?
So I met this girl about four months ago. I absolutely adore her, the time we spent together are absolutely the best in my life and I'm looking forward to see her everytime I'm without her. We are just friends though. She feels the same way about me, we are both kinda on the silent side though. After a few months of friendship we decided that we're gonna drop some acid for the first time in our lives because we were both inclined towards this.
That was two months ago when we dropped it for the first time. This week we dropped another. We were at her place watching a film in her bed and in the middle of it we dropped two tabs. It was beautiful, it was her birthday and we spent it together. What I noticed though was that we don't really talk much. When the acid hit it was really hard to find words. We were at her room just enjoying the trip until like 11 p.m. and then we hit off to a bar.
Then again, most of the times we didn't really talked much. I told her about that why are we spending so much time willingly together when we don't really talk and she said that it's okay that she just enjoys my company.
What do you do when you are on acid? We just spent everytime totally lost in our minds it seems to me, I love it though but it gets me confused as fuck everytime.
>>17263927
It seems like pure enjoyment. Just enjoy these moments
fucking crackhead
>>17263998
kek
So it´s practically impossible to be suicidal and longing for sweet release without offending someone, family or loved one or even therapist. But I can't take it anymore. How do I make my death seem accidental? Should seem genuine, they have their eye on me.
>>17263926
>without offending someone
Why? You'll be fucking dead dude.
>>17263931
I know, but I don't want them to suffer more than they would and this thought makes me uneasy while still alive. Maybe even clumsy, I don't want that
>>17263926
enroll in an american high school
I'm currently an 18 year old, Chinese Australian working at McDonald's and hoping to become a teacher in the future. My passion lies in teaching and I plan on taking up a degree very soon.
The problem is this: I want to teach English but since Australia is still a racist shithole, I can't reasonably expect to teach English being an Asian and whatnot. And each university having 1,000 graduates for bachelor of education each year means it's very much competitive to get any teaching job in the first place.
Now moving to Japan didn't sound like a bad idea at first, but I understand the cultural differences would mean less interaction between the student and the teacher unlike in the schools I've studied in which fosters a very whimsical learning environment.
I understand that teaching in the two countries would be very different, but this is probably my only option, since I can't expect a reasonable pay in other countries, what should I do?
Should I just stay in Australia and take up another degree?
Is NZ an option?
>>17263900
I don't really consider western countries an option for teaching English since they're most likely to not hire me due to my ethnicity, although I am considering middle-eastern countries, since I heard they pay just as well as Japan.
Given my oriental looks, I'd be more likely to fit in in Japan than a middle-eastern country.
>>17263905
Maybe you should work on your victim complex first.
This will be longer story, just saying.
So my gf has some kind of neurosis that, when she's just a little bit stressed over something, causes her to think only about the worst scenarios of what would happen in certain situation (i. e. she has exams on uni now, and of course she assumes she will fail them, even though for me it doesn't seem very probable as I know she's one of the best students in her group), or see problems and unpleasant situations as more serious, hard to deal with and generaly more stressfull than they are. As these situations don't happen that often, usually I was able to deal with it and somehow managed to help her calm down. But now, she had really bad luck recently. First she got very sick in April (for almost two weeks) so she was absent on uni, and then after a week she had to stay another month at home because she got so mentally destabilized by that previous sickness, and on the top of that she got anemic due to her poor diet and hectic lifestyle and was feeling like she was going to pass out any moment. So after this when she got back on uni she obviously is stressed as fuck about her exams and what not. Of course she talked to the dean and he granted her extended exam session so she could somehow make it on exams. But still she's totally unstable now.
(Tbc in next posts.)
The worst thing about it is that I'm unable to cheer her up. She's crying over all this shit every day. That she will have to repeat the year, that she shouldn't have stayed home for that long (which was necessary though, she got medicine from psychiatrist which started working over the time, and it took a while until she was over her anemy as well). That every day problems (like her dad having some problems with work or car breaking down) are going to have tragic consequences. That every one is fed up with her since she's annoying them with her behavior. Sad thing is it's actualy kinda true. Her parents aren't realy that empathic, and as for me, well, I also have hard time with my exams and work, so dealing with her is sometimes a little too much for me. Especially that nothing is working on her. I tried everything: calming her down by assuring her everything is going to turn out well; convinving her logically that her fears are irrational (she won't fail exams since she's well prepared for them even though she was absent for such a long time, for example); I even tried to be harsh on her and told her to get her shit together and stop acting so selfish, like only she's having problems, Nothing seems to work.
Because of this situation I'm also starting to feel like shit. First because I can't help her. Second because I really get annoyed by her even though she has no control over it and I should rather stay with her and help her no matter what. Third because some of her fears are just way too irrational, yet she treats her deadly seriously, and some of them are pretty problematic for me as well. We don't have have "real" sex since she's too afraid of getting pregnant, so we just play together from time to time, but it's always safe (even though I don't penetrate her, I use condoms and such, and never ever any fluids - be it sperm or this pre-cum shit - got in contact with her pussy in any way. Even though, when her period's late, she always assumes she must have got pregnant, and NOTHING will convince her that's not possible. It's happening now as well - just before her exam session we were playing with each other, so she assumes her late period is not due her extreme stress, but rather she somehow got pregnant. This lead me to conclusion that we should stop doing it at all, but I'm not sure if it won't have a negative impact on our relation. Truth be told this intimacy got us really close, since her period isn't always late, just these few situations when it was made her stressed. But then, how could I know if her next period will be on time or not?
Not sure what should I tell more. We don't live together, we study in different cities and see each other usually twice per month (on weekends when she comes over to my place or I come to hers). We're together for two years now and we really love each other. I would do anything that would make her feel better, even though I feel more and more irritated by her nowadays. She's going to start some therapy in the following months so maybe it will help her a bit (since medicines don't work on her that much, as it seems).
So... any advices on what should I be doing now?
>>17263885
>So... any advices on what should I be doing now?
Yeah, cut your losses and break up with this psycho. You just wrote a wall of text telling me how stressful and high maintenance she is. You even said she acknowledges what she's doing isn't fair to you but keeps doing it.
So tell me, why are you in a relationship with her. Dont just say because I'm in love, make a list of her positive qualities and reasons why she makes you happy. Try to write 3 of each for starters and then see if you feel this outweighs the bad. If you struggle doing this then you may need to reevaluate your relationship.
>gf's going away in a couple weeks
>been with her for 10 months
>she'll be gone for either 5 months or 4 years, depending
>if the latter we will be able to see each other a couple times a year
>Recently been finding it hard to stay faithful and she hasn't left yet
>not sure I want to be monogamous for the next 5 years even if she wasn't going
>I'm going to korea soon and it would be dope to be single when I'm there
Should I just end it before she goes?
>>17263850
Yes LD can work, but both people have to be pretty committed to making it work. If you're not ready to make that commitment or to settle down then obviously there's a much lower chance of it working out. Obviously if you're having a hard time remaining faithful and she hasn't even left yet it sounds like this relationship would be destined for failure even if she weren't leaving.
You pretty much answered your own question. Yeah, you should break up, it won't work for you because you don't want it.
Long distance is for idealists, romanticists and soldiers. It doesn't work.
How do I stop jacking off to 2D anime grills
>>17263848
Why would you?
>>17263852
because I feel disgusted with myself ):
>>17263848
Try connecting with real people again.
>fiance has female best friend who's also his ex (they dated for a year)
>they split up 3 years ago because she went abroad for undefined time
>actually came back few months later and wanted to get back together
>fiance was stubborn because he was "hurt" she left him to go away But was still in love with her
>started to "just be friends"
>basically, they only wheren't together because he was holding on to his "principles"
>3 years later i start dating him
>low key mentions female friend
>i'm ok with that, because why not. Tells me she's like a sister to him
>piece by piece i gather the infos above from him and slowly start to mistrust the whole thing
>they text frequently and when they spend time together, it's one on one
>try to arrange to get to know her twice and she flakes with fishy excuses
>meanwhile, bf and i hit it off awesomely and after a year, he proposes to me
>that has been 2 weeks now
>a week ago his "friend" sent him a lengthy text about how she misses him and still loves him
>nice timing bitch...
>he texted her back, basically saying that he belongs to me now (haven't seen those texts, it's what he told me)
>she hasn't texted back since then so they have had no contact since she told him
my questions are: is it even possible that he ACTUALLY has no feelings for her anymore?
If so, why was he still friends with her?
If not, why would he propose to me?
His approach was to "wait it out, it'll pass". I want him to cut that poisonous snake loose. If she really sees him as a friend, she would have kept her feels for herself, since she can see that he was very happy with me. It was a selfish way to try and get him back again.
He acted all naive and it MIGHT actually be true that he is THAT oblivious to her evil ways. But i don't know how to tell.
I don't want to break up over this. After all, we're engaged and moving in together in 3 weeks. I won't throw that away just like that.
Is there a way i can make sure he isn't secretly still loving her?
>>17263828
Tell him to cut contact with her forever.
It's not a problem if he wants to have female friends, but not female friends who have feelings for him.
You can't be sure that he doesn't have feelings for her. In all honesty, I think you can't really stop to have feelings for someone you loved a lot, especially if you didn't break up harshly. It is important that he chooses you and sticks to it.
Don't be jealous of his affection for his ex.
well I can't know for sure what he's thinking, I'm only going to say what I know from my experience.
Exes can remain friends after breaking up without having feelings for eachother, I've known a few cases, but they're never that close and the circumstances are usually different. They can get along great, text each other and hang out sometimes but usually it's because they're part of the same social circles. The facts that they're usually alone when they spend time together and that they broke up only because one of them had to move away are a little worrying.
But then again let's not forget that he fucking proposed to you, so you should be sure that he prefers you. Still, my guess is that he still has some feelings for his ex, but he wants to be with you.
>>17263837
>Tell him to cut contact with her forever.
>Don't be jealous of his affection for his ex.
Chose one
I am a 18 year old college student, that lives in Denmark. I have recently lost alot of money on gambling. I have now taken a step forward towards batteling my addiction, and i have permanently banned myself from all betting sites ( approved by the danish government) I have 10 usd for the rest of the month, and my question is... How do i earn some money back? i have tried selling some old stuff, getting extra hours at my work, but i need the money asap. Is there any way to earn money online, or "offline"? Im not talking about a quick and easy scam method here, i was just wondering. Thanks in advance, Daniel.
>>17263814
Sex work.
Well, do you REALLY need both your kidneys?
>>17263814
Are there spots where people go to get hired for day labor? Try getting something there.
You can try online contract work (I don't know what the market is there). I get some work through dice, and though I think it's mostly waste of time bullshit, amazon mechanical turk.
If what you mostly need is money for food, there are some food pantries in Denmark, maybe one of them can keep you going until your next paycheck.
"Aus"fag here, gonna leave the country soon.
>Sign up for Optus phone contract like an idiot
>Don't pay them for months because couldn't find job, centrelink was being difficult
>I now owe them $1400 or so
>Service is canceled
>Warning email
I don't want them to sue me. I'm leaving the country for good in October. I paid them $100 a couple weeks ago but will they try to sue me if I don't do it anymore?
>OP is a dumbass
I know that.
>>17263770
For good? As in never coming back? I have heard of people leaving the country with HECS debt and never coming back, but idk if you'll get chased up for an Optus fee.
>>17263816
I mean, I just hope whatever collection agency Optus is with doesn't try to sue me before I leave.
>>17263820
If they know you're leaving the country they can get get urgent judgement and you'll be prevented from clearing immigration.
My friend called me about an hour ago telling me she went to meet a friend (or who she thought was a friend) and he attacked and raped her. She won't go to police and she won't tell anyone but me. What can I do to help her get though this or bring justice to the fucking scum that did this?
Go to the police. How is this even a question?
>>17263769
Meet her and fuck her to take revenge on him
I can't. She won't tell me any details about who it was and I live 70 km away. I don't know how to help her but she is trying to act like it didn't happen.
