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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 449. page


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I have just turned 22 and I have been in a serious relationship with my 22 yo gf for a year. We have bother never had penetrative sex.

Every time I just try to initiate a make out session, she will turn her face away and say she just wants to cuddle. I haven't had a blowjob in well over a month, and I eat her out and finger her whenever she will let me. She will kiss me if she initiates, but it is rare.

I don't understand what is wrong. I tried talking to her about having sex today and she wouldn't really respond. After a while I got her to say she's scared it will hurt. I also asked for a blowjob (she promised to give me one on my birthday last week) and she just blew it off and said her throat hurts.

I am getting super frustrated and I am trying my best to show it to her, mainly by just joking around and saying that my balls are going to fall off from not getting any action.

I don't know what to do. I don't know what is wrong. I can understand if she is scared from penetrative sex, but why does she almost flat out refuse on doing anything else?
66 posts and 4 images submitted.
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You're a beta
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>>17260222
Have you considered that you are going after this a little too aggressively? The more you pressure her the worse she feels about it. (This kind of empathy can be a little hard to employ when you are suffering from blue balls, but I suggest you try.)

Also, she might be wanting a "special" first time. So think of some way to up the special factor - and don't let on that you are trying to seduce her. Let the evening progress as normal, and just have protection and lube handy for if/when she is ready. If it turns out she isn't ready, wait a few days and try again.

First times are much bigger for girls than they are for guys so bear with her.
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>>17260229
>You're a beta

How so?

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I like to watch my boyfriend stream games. We live about two hours by bus away from each other and work a lot, so it's a good way to spend time with him remotely. Some of the guys he plays with are absolute dickholes, though, because they casually use the word "rape" to describe things that definitely aren't rape. It makes me feel sick to hear it.

"Oh guys we totally raped the other team"
"They couldn't stop the rape train" etc

I haven't been raped before but I have had men shout that they would rape me to intimidate me in public. It's fucking terrifying. I've had guys follow me downtown late at night. It's not okay. On top of that an actual, undeniable rapist just got off on a one month sentence bc of a sympathetic judge. Like, rape isn't some abstract concept, it's something women have to be at least distantly aware/frightened of all the fucking time. It's something horrible that can happen to you and odds are 9/10 that the guy will get away with it.

My boyfriend told me he's aware of how fucked up it is but he isn't saying anything to the douchebags. My thing is, if he says nothing, he's tacitly endorsing the behavior. If I urge him to do something, though, I'm arguably some harpy demanding he act like PC Principal.

For tonight I just decided to stop watching his stream but long term I know he's gonna be sad if I stop watching him. What do? And no, "Get over it" is not an option, really think about your position as a defender of using the word rape to make people feel shitty
71 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>17260164
It's gamer slang. It's thoughtless, stupid, and immature, but they aren't actually trying to be malicious.

Take it from a guy who was initially very uncomfortable hearing the phrase - these guys are usually huge nerds who couldn't bring themselves to actually hurt someone else.

It doesn't make the use of the word ok by any means, but they are not actually using the word in a way with intent - it's like a replacement for the word "owned" or "powned" or many other words nerdy people tend to use to describe a devastating event in a competitive game.

I can totally understand your choice to stop watching, but maybe you can suggest that your bf uses a different word a lot and see if it rubs off on his friends.
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>>17260207
Yeah, he said he would talk to his good friends - the regulars - about it. But I don't think it's fair for him to constantly have this discussion with randos during pub matches either. But it's also hard to watch. Urgh. I might only watch when he plays single player, sad as that is.
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He won't achieve anything meaningful by telling them to not use that word.
Even if he convinces some of them, he will inevitably stumble on other players who also use it.


However there must be ways that he could mute the chat so that you only listen what he says.

What does the squiggle mean? Please and thank you.
10 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Vibrate your fretting hand just a little bit. Not quite a bend. Just add some vibrato to that.

>But the open string!
Don't worry my child. That string will vibrate ever so slightly as well.
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>>17259166
https://youtu.be/2YZ_lIpG1XQ?t=30s

That's the part of the song that this bar is from. It might be me, but I don't hear any vibrato.
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the squiggle stands for arpeggio.

Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.

FAQ:

>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><random insecurity>
Some do, some don't. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.

>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever. It takes hard work, time, and effort.

>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.

>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out. This is something that cannot be explained. You either have learned to intuit this or you have not. If you have not, the only way to learn is experience--there are no shortcuts. So it comes back to: Just ask them out.

>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online. Don't complain that this isn't helpful; stupid questions deserve answers like this.

>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.

>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
We're not in their head, we don't fucking know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.

>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing

>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No

>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>

>Brandon, that one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships and fart guy
Fuck off
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>>17258957
Man here. Fiance and i have been together for 9 years and engaged for 5 have 2 kids. We have not gotten married due to our daughter having and fighting cancer. My wife seems to really want to get married, but keeps flip flopping about whether we should elope at this point or try for a ceremony. She clearly wants me to make the call, but i always figured that this was a big deal to women and it does seem like a big deal to her sometimes. ITs a magical time for a woman and she wants it, but after 2 years of living in the hospital she also wants things simple.

So women. After 5 year of being engaged should we just elope or go full ceremony?
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>>17258985
Elope, them throw a party where you invite friends & family and tell them you're married then.
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>Double digit EQ/IQ anons keep posting answered in FAQ questions
If you crave attention or are incapable of understanding FAQ use social media

>I don't understand my feelings/how to change them
Use briggs-meyers test/google mental symptoms/engage in regular sports/professional activity

>I can't communicate/make important life choices with my partner
/adv/ doesn't have the context or the ability to read your partner's mind (bis)
proceed to communicating w/ said partner about said dilema

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Is it possible to lose your virginity if you're older than 25?
If so, how would I go about it?

>inb4escort/hooker
That's my last resort
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>>17252870
This thread is relevant to my interests seeing as I'm 28 and still a virgin. Considering driving to Nevada and hiring a whore or trying to convince a stripper to sleep with me. Normal girls are simply out of my league.
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>>17252870
It's possible to lose your virginity at almost any age without the use of hired help.
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>>17252881
>how would I go about it?

I forgot to add. Put yourself out there.

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this weekend i met my perfect match.

my new neighbor/friend called me and said he had two german girls staying with him via couchsurfing (through his mom) and wanted me to meet them.

of course i said yes, so - i make my way over friday night to take them out for drinks and just see what their story is.

it was great, both girls were cute and so friendly - we get drinks, have a good time and one of the girls and I really hit it off

5'9", half white/half korean, absolutely stunning woman. we come back from drinks after letting her DUI my truck home, because youre in texas - you have to drunk drive a big truck home to make the experience authentic.

we get home around 2am, and my neighbor goes seperate ways with her friend while me and the other girl make our way to the piano.

she plays, sings and just talks to me until 5am, we were lost in each other already.

the next day, of course she comes over to my house with her travel partner and we make breakfast with all of our friends and drink mimosas, etc. We make our way downtown, with everyone and just enjoy the day. We talk, nothing too serious - but just giving them a good time.

fast forward to sunday, she comes over alone - just for me. I take her out to see a few things i thought she would enjoy seeing, which she did - and we spent the entire day not really on vacation but just with each other, talking, about everything and connecting so deeply. it was amazing.

We went to the caverns, accidentally wound up with a private tour, she ate BBQ for the first time, we went to a sweet little marina after and walked the docks at sunset, took our bikes from the marina and rode around the lake under moonlight and fireflies. it was so intimate, i had never felt the sensation this woman was giving me and i didnt want it to end. we sat in the woods watching the fireflies and smoked, like old friends.

We make our way to the dam and watch the water gushing at night, it was so cool - drove through the hill country and
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finally back into austin where we snuck into mount bonnell after hours with a bottle of wine and some weed and just sat together, talking, touching, just feeling each others chemistry - it was so overwhelming and powerful. Of course the cops found us and kicked us out, we laughed it off and continued into the night. she had totally abandoned her travel partner at this point and the rest of this trip was about us. we end the night around 4am and get ready for the next day together. She greets me with the sweetest smile and touch at 9am and makes me breakfast, coffee and rolls up some cigarettes for us to smoke.
This person was everything i have ever needed in a woman and she just showed up in my life by pure chance. We make our way downtown to go look through a couple of bookstores and art shops and eat some pizza, then decide to spend the rest of our day in the water with some weed and wine. fuck it doesnt get any better, the dread was setting in though unfortunately.
We both knew what was happening between us and we both knew the outcome. Our day was perfect, we sat side by side and she played the guitar and sang for me for a few hours, we swam, made out, drank, and really lived.

i decide one last spot that i needed her to see, so we go to an overlook to see the bridge over the lake and spend the rest of the day past sunset sitting on a cliff drinking wine and talking to each other, shes so beautiful - i couldnt take my eyes off of her. I knew it was almost over. Our night was magical once again and we make our way back home to have one last dinner together. She made me an amazing meal and we got another bottle of wine to celebrate our time with. we listened to our favorite music until about 3am, danced, laughed and fucked around until it was finally time to end our time together.
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our friends were in teh garage and i went and layed on the hood of my car outside and smoked a cigarette - she came and layed next to me and smoked one as well. we said nothing to each other but the silence between us said everything. I took her home, we shared our last goodbye, and it was over. her flight was the next day and their road trip continued.

I have never felt so alive from a woman, i was married at one time and never even felt like this for my wife. We promised that we would see each other soon. Life is too unpredictable to tell whether or not we ever will, but i miss her so much now. Its the worst. I am also really happy to have experience such an intimate time together with a woman who ive never met, who totally changed my outlook and who made me realize what feeling i need from a woman to be my match. Maybe one day, we will meet again.

i feel like i need to go after this woman, i dont know what to do.
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Take her out again to a club or something, do some grinding then take her to a more private place and fuck her senseless. This is very important, you need to make her cum until she goes numb so she will have more reasons to stick with you.

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>be me, 18
>dont have job while in high school because im a lazy fuck
>get out of high school, start a degree in computer science
>drop degree because fuck that shit
>get a nice min wage job
>become depressed pretty quickly
>lose job because business went bust
>go through withdrawal
>still looking for more work
>tfw im going to turn 19 with no job, no degree and i still live at home
>get money by drawing blood and monitoring people's heart rates
>money goes to parent's debts and bills
>parent constantly complains about me not doing something like cooking, then gets even angrier when I do

How do I get out of this rut?
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>drop degree because fuck that shit
start where you went wrong
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Go get that degree. Take classes somewhere
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No one expects a 19 year old to have a degree

My first child is on the way. I'm graduating soon, and i'll be looking for jobs soon, but the job market is not so great for my field unless you are exceptionally gifted (I am not). My wife will be extremely unhappy if I do not get a very specific job, which I am unlikely to get. I feel like a part of me detached from the marriage when I realized this. Every day I am dealing with anxiety and fear of the future to various extents, right now I am nearly overridden with it. I feel like my family, my marriage and my life might crumble and I might be helpless to stop it. I need some help with managing my anxiety, or something.
9 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>17261839
>My wife will be extremely unhappy if I do not get a very specific job
The fuck does she care? All she should be concerned about is whether you can provide and take care of your family. If you can get an alternative position in a different field that pays the same or more, why shouldn't she be satisfied?
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>>17261839
>Getting kids
>without economic stability
u went full retard
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>>17261839
>My wife will be extremely unhappy if I do not get a very specific job, which I am unlikely to get.
Would she rather you had no job than any job you can get?

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How can you tell if you're a bad person?

I feel like if I asked any of my friends they'd say I'm not... but no one knows you as welll as yourself, y'now? Or maybe my superego's just at me.
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
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If you're asking this, you probably have suspicions towards the fact. The question then being what makes you unsure whether you're good or bad?
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>>17261811
Mean or bad? Your friends even knowing depends on how you act around them. Mean doesn't necessarily mean bad and bad doesn't necessarily mean you're mean.
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It's hard to say whether someone is a good person or is a bad person. You have to know everything about someone and then vaguely decide whether their actions in average are generally good or bad. It's a flawed process since some people only focus on positive things and other people give more weight to negative things. You might be terrible and consider yourself a saint or you might be a saint and consider yourself terrible, for all I know.

How about this: if you met yourself, do you think you would befriend yourself? A friend is someone who generally has a positive impact on your life. If you met a carbon copy of yourself, would you have a positive impact on your life?

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Can not having a sex life effect you mentally? I feel super depressed about being 26 abd being unable to foster relationship with a woman. It's crappy feeling.

Some days I just want to go outside into a crowded mall and just slap so much female ass. I realize that would be sexual harassment but I am just sick of being excluded.

I don't want to use escorts because it feels dishonorable. I as a make, shoukd be able to attract a female without having to beg for pity it use money.

What the fuck is wrong with me? I feel super old. I was apparently supposed to do this in my late teens or early 20s while on college.

Just fuck my shit up b
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Never heard of Maslov's hierarchy bruh?
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>>17261772
Go to a bar every friday and saterday night, if you see a female thats alone, buy her a drink, if she accepts talk, after some time, ask her to go to your appartment, have sex.
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Well it's a little more complicated than that. It's not the lack of sex that's affecting you, but the lack of accomplishment. Basically you see sex as a necessity and you don't get it, so you're depressed. It's not only sex either, it's also the need to interact with people, to have a social and romantic life.

Obviously you can fix this in 2 ways: get a social/romantic/sex life or convince yourself you don't need one. The former is easier and there are tons of books/guides/videos on how to do it. It is doable as long as you put in the effort, no matter what state you're in right now.

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ALL YOUR ORGANIZATION HAS FALLEN APART AT THE HAND OF A (bastard!) AND HIS VERY CLEVER GAME. I'M A SMARTY MAN NYEEEEEEEAAAAA

COME UP AND GET ME!
10 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>17261666
Stop trying to bait me you sad sack of desu.
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I dare
Y'ALL

Now pardon me while I put on my special ceremonial sache and cap and other marvellous clobber and parade the streets to inspect the progress.
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>>17261675

you are bait. you're a stone on my marvellous marble staircase the fields of dreams. Oops, is that m'lady's manure I stepped in?

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What do you call it when under the pretence of being offended a person is being a fucking dick?

Example: customer calls in angry about the product (literally nothing is wrong with it) hoping they don't have to pay for it, obviously not interested in fixing it because that would expose the lie

Example: ur cunt ass "gf" is offended by "4chan culture" in general and 4chan as such, but in reality she doesn't want you to look at naked women she thinks it's full of (and probably right), because she's insecure about her tiny breasts and fat ass

Example: I say to you it's rude in my country to not suck my dick every day and send $100 to my account for I am (pulling this out of my ass if you haven't figured it out yet) the high mighty priest of sun god Shal'Rakiel and in my country it's rude to not do all this

Example: feminazi cunts want game not being sold because you can see some dumb bitch's tit through her blouse, is not being sold, on the news they say it's horrible because it rapes women or whatever


Please don't focus on my individual examples considering half of them I pulled out of my ass. Please tell me the pattern here. What's the word for it in English or ANY language? Feel free to refer me to books or online resources as long as related to what I'm asking.
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Are you looking for a single word that this defines? Otherwise you've already kinda said it in your first line - being aggrieved under false pretence.
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>>17261706
I'm looking for something I can type into google to get more information.

Doesn't have to be a word, can be a catchphrase, a meme, some adage, some term from "psychology", any reference

Feel free to post anything that comes to mind (but seems/feels closely related, seems relevant)
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OP again. Alright, you might ask "but what's the actual problem?" you might ask. As you might have guessed I'm the dumbass to has the tendency to fall for this kind of stupid shit and later feel like an ass.

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I want to start my own gaming company as a hobby. I have multiple GDDs done. That being said, I'm a lousy programmer(Only 2+ years in Java), and anyone can write scripts/stories.

I have two years left of university and I do not have a major yet. So while I put in hours towards this hobby, what major would help me best while still giving me a fallback plan? BS of business in economics, finance, management, accounting, maybe entrepreneurship itself?
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>17261636


if it really is 'just a hobby' invest in a good engine and just make simple games.
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If it's a hobby, then you shouldn't need a 'fallback plan,' that would be your main plan.
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If you're good at art/cg we can team up maybe?

I'm a professional C++ programmer and /jp/er living in Japan.

Hello /adv/, I'm looking for anyone working in the construction industry for some advice. I just recently started working full time on a site, and I get a lot done for the first 5 hours of the day, but then right after lunch it's like I hit a brick wall and I get really tired and its hard for me to focus on the task at hand. I don't eat a lot, just a small bag of chips, a granola bar, a banana, and like a 3 inch portion of a sub sandwhich. What should I do? I'm only 17 btw I don't know if that matters but w.e.
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Less carbs, more protein. And have a cup of coffee after lunch
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>>17261634
Thanks, I'll try those things.
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Is there an option to work 6hrs six days a week?

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My sister's just anounced that she's pregnant with her first baby and I don't really care... is there something wrong with me?


We get along and are on good terms there's nothing bad in that regard, and her husband is a great guy and everything great

but I just don't really seem to give a shit.... why?
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On all the retarded fictional issues some people post here about this is one of the worst.
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Because you have nothing to do with it. Asuming they did not try over a longer period of time, nothing special was achieved and you probably expected it to happen anyway.
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>>17261596
the media you consume seem to make you think that it is normal to give giant fucks about what happens to other peoples lifes

to be honest i think most people would just say "good for you" and invest the "proper" amount of support for the couple and thats it

most people have own lifes that need to be managed
atleast thats how i see it

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