Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 434. page
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Sometimes I feel like I do this for her and that I don't live for my self. Sometimes I feel relieved that I never broke up or cheated because she's the best girl for me. You ever feel like this?
>>17266995
I think this is common, it comes with the ups and downs of being in a long term relationship. Sometimes it's hard work to be with someone and takes conscious effort to grow together instead of growing apart, only you can decide if the relationship is worth sticking out or not.
>>17267046
>Sometimes it's hard work to be with someone and takes conscious effort to grow together instead of growing apart
I don't know about you, but no.
Two years relationship, ten years marriage, three little kids speaking here.
>>17267061
Also sometimes only managing life gets a little hard, but never being together. It's quite the opposite, in tough times we're always glad we have each other. Nothing else matters as long as we're taking on life side by side.
Been with a girl for 9 years. Have been making plans to move in together and spend the rest of our lives together, often initiated by her. We used to have sex frequently (1-2 times a day when together), but that number has changed drastically. We have been long distance for five years, and usually our sex lives are busy when we are together. Over the past year, she just doesn't want to have sex anymore. No matter how I approach it, she either fends off my attempts, does it but makes me feel terrible for it, or once every couple of weeks agrees to it. I'm tired of being...
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>>17266980
Can you enjoy cuddling with her without needing to get your nut off, or does she shun intimacy altogether?
Communicate with her about it! Nothing changes unless both people are aware of the problem. The worst thing for any relationship is to bottle stuff up, that's asking for an explosion of frustration.
It's amazing how much can get done by expressing your feelings in a respectful and decisive fashion.
>>17266984
She loves the cuddling and everything. It's only sex. When we do it, I feel like she is doing it out of pity rather than interest. I often just want to cuddle, but she usually gives me crap saying that "she knows what cuddling leads to with me." I don't feel it's wrong to want sex with your partner, but she sure makes me feels like it is. Not to mention I often try to convince her of sex, but it may take a week of advances every time I see her for one good session.
So I'm thinking of buying related pic , since she won't tell me which ones she likes... I was thinking maybe 2 red roses and one multi colored in the middle....just 3 btw , since a dozen seems a bit much.
>>17266948
>2nd date
>roses
what're you doin man?
Gay
>>17266960
Was thinking of getting her flowers..... To show how much she means to me?
>>17266961
It's for a girl....
I want to buy 3 books and 3 manga from a Japan located seller but the shipping would cost me about 52 dollars which is as much as the items (total is about 10,500 yen).
Any thing I can do to lower the cost?
>>17266942
Damnit, forgot; shipping to U.S.
Buy it from another seller
$8 to ship a book is kind of pricey, but not so bad. I'm guessing you can't buy them in the USA so you don't have a great deal of options other than to shop around.
Hey,
So my sister is back home because she threatened to commit suicide on the phone with my mom. So now I'm stuck with her in my parents house because I stay here while I work for the summer. She has an apartment with her boyfriend/fiancé but because of the panic attack is here. She is literally tumblr shit incarnate. Inconsiderate, ugly, smelly, and overall just annoying right now. I only get one day off a week and of course she pulls this shit on that day. I love my sister and all but living with her is making me pissed/annoyed. Anyone have advice on how to deal with this?
>>17266934
She sounds like she needs to be committed, honestly. Is she getting any help with her issues?
My parents brought her home in order for her to see a doctor but that hasn't happened yet. My dad works 6 days a week on the night shift and is physically exahausted while my Mom works from 4am-5pm. She is a large burden when my family has given her everything. It pisses me off. She had drugs for ADD but she has no routine and wouldn't take them anyway. So now she's bumming here with no rhyme or reason. I don't understand
>>17266938
She's also 22. Which is just fucking maddening
I have a severe phobia of EVER getting pregnant and I was wondering if people could help me figure out if I should be worried or not. It might sound overly paranoid and even downright silly but I keep nearly having panic attacks because of it and need an opinion from outside my head.
Back in March or April I fucked some idiot and when he pulled out the condom stayed in and shit got everywhere. At the time (and still now) I was taking birth control pills for hormonal imbalance, but I hadn't been taking them at the same time each day, which basically makes them useless...
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I'm 99% sure you're not pregnant. Relax
>basically any time I run my fingers through my hair some strands will come out.
Literally everyone does this.
>On the other hand, I'm still getting my periods every month, but I've heard that women can still get their periods while pregnant if on birth control.
>I also took a home pregnancy test and it came out negative but I'm worried if it might be a false negative or something.
You're being...
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>The anxiety is fucking killing me and it's making it literally difficult to breathe.
I think this might also account for your nausea, fatigue, hair loss, etc. You're still having periods and your pregnancy tests came back negative. And you were on birth control, even if you weren't QUITE taking it like clockwork. And even though his condom came off at the end, that isn't quite the same as him actually shooting inside you. The sperm has to physically reach the womb. It's been two months. You're not pregnant.
Wait...
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you'd know if you were 2 months pregnant, but if you're so worried about it why haven't you gotten tested?
I have a problem /adv/.
When I am with my boyfriend of 4 years, I feel like the ugliest piece of shit that ever walked the Earth. I also feel and act like a huge bitch because of my insecurity around him.
When I am with my friend, I feel like the most beautiful person, inside and out.
I am wondering how and why this is happening, and what I can do to transfer some of the confidence and security I have with my friend to my boyfriend.
I want to be a better person for him, but I feel like shit around him a lot. I just don't know how to be 'pretty'...
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>>17266897
go to the gym with him.
>>17266952
He doesn't go to the gym, only I do.
PROTIP: When you act like a massive bitch you ARE the ugliest person on the planet
Am I a poser for having a double life?
By day I'm pretty much a corporate dude, preppy, high paying office job and all that jazz.
But by night + weekends, I go full punk/skater/hipster mode. That's the scene that I feel the most comfortable in. Tight pants, flannel, local metal shows, PBR, hipster blue collar/unemployed dive bars, and overall "alternative" shit. However I can't relate closely to people in either scene... I kind of drift between two entirely different worlds... And I don't think it's the optimal way to live my life.
How do I truly live in conjunction with all of my personal values?
>>17266819
You are bruce wayne now
You're not a poser, you're just very, very shallow. Changing your fucking outfit does not count as a "double life." You're not talking about your personal values, you're literally just talking about clothes
You sound like a basic bitch who thinks he's something special. Please tell me more about your clothing style.
Is it possible for me to sue this guy for what he did to me in the video?
Thanks any advice helps!
This Cis Gendered moron is mocking LGBT in this video as well as oppressing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPsOt4tAPRg [Embed]
Welp, you got me to watch your stupid video. Congratulations I guess
If anything, he's mocking cisgendered women, so calm your fake tits down
>>17266769
wtf is a cis gender woman? Anyway would a sexual harassment or rape law suit be possible?
>>17266773
...a woman that isn't a tranny. You used the word first, I stupidly assumed you knew what it meant
To answer your question, I don't see anything illegal happening in the video, and I don't see how it has anything to do with gays or transsexuals at all
I'm a NEET with ADD working with a therapist. He had me and my parents make a "contract" to keep me accountable.
>Contract:
The hardest parts for me have been being ready by 9am, filling out job applications instead of just looking at them, and cleaning my bedroom.
I have fulfilled some parts of the contract better than others. I'm still a little annoyed with my parents for not enforcing the contract properly, and screaming at me for either minor infractions or for things that haven't even been specified.
Last Saturday, my mother came into my room and yelled at me for not doing my laundry. The contract Says I'm supposed to do laundry on Sunday. In fairness, I was supposed to clean my room that day and didn't do a very good job, and the time was never specified - it just says Saturday. I interpreted the contract to mean that the daily schedule was for weekdays and that weekends are unstructured.
There have been times where they have accused me of being "rigid," and "not really trying", I say it's a written agreement that needs to be followed and understood accurately in order to mean anything at all. I'm doing the best I can and I'm anxious to see if they follow through on their end to give me back my privileges. In the past, there have been times where they back out on promises because something came up or there is some curve-ball, and there is nothing I can do about it, and then I feel cheated.
Moods:
I woke up this morning feeling really depressed, so depressed that I didn't want to start the day and had some suicidal thoughts. I felt better after I took a shower and got my vyvanse pill. I first resisted and my parents had to yell at me to get out of bed and do my morning routine. The more they get angry with me, the worse I feel about myself and about them. I don't know why I have such a strong urge to resist orders so that it frustrates other people. I get so ashamed that they have to reprimand me in the first place that I can't suck it up and just do it.
The 3 of us can't follow a simple contract.
>>17266710
Ask your therapist these questions:
>Why is negative punishment and negative reinforcement being used so often in the contract?
>How specific does the contract need to be? It seems vague.
>When can you renegotiate it?
Also, as a behavioral psychologist, this approach seems a little odd. A behavior contract isn't a natural contingency and is odd to use with a person who just has ADD. I use behavior contracts...
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So I'm living I'm San Francisco for a while. And I also love to hike from 1hour to about 3 or 4 hours. My foot size is about 9&half to 10. I have flat feet. I can't figure what boots are right for me especially since I have no experience with boots. I'm also rucking with about 30-40lbs in my pack to prep for the marines (have a few years for that) and I need boots that could help form my feet or help them get used to being in boots for the military. I don't know if that made sense but any help would be appreciated!
Ur an fagit
>>17266659
>>>/out/ would be a better help than here. Sorry I have nothing to add, anon.
>>17266659
You know any good spots near Santa Clara ?
My dad died when I was 15, two weeks before my 16th birthday
Am I broken? Am I ever going to be an emotionally stable man? Or are things like this forever?
I just turned 18
Who knows? You're still young. Literally anything can happen within the next 1, 5, 10 or even 20 years
>>17266546
Everyone is going to lose a parent at some point. Sad fact of life and sadder still in your case that it happened at such a young age. No point dwelling on the fact that it happened and how negatively it may have affected you. It has already happened and now you adjust your course moving forward.
>>17266546
I grew up with a shitty dad. I'm 23 and he and my mom split up when I was 17. I had issues for 3 or 4 years but I'm all good now.
It's normal to have issues for a little while.
So my only parent is dying of cancer and has SSDI income and Medicaid. They're receiving radiology treatments which aren't covered by the insurance. When they die will I be responsible for the bills?
I am sorry for your impending loss.
>>17266521
>When they die will I be responsible for the bills?
You speak of SSDI and Medicare, so I assume you're in the US. In that case, no: there ARE parts of the world where debt can be inherited, but the US is not one of them. The only debts you can be held responsible for are ones with your name on them (for example, if you co-signed for a loan or something).
That said, you won't be responsible for the bills, but your parent's...
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Your picture is pretty cool opie. Why does the fish in sushi have to be raw? Is it always raw? How come I don't hear about people being poisoned from it?
Your picture bothers me. Half of the the "rules" are "EAT IT A CERTAIN WAY EVEN IF YOU PREFER IT ANOTHER"
Like why the fuck does the amount of soy sauce or what touches your tongue first matter
How do I get over my trust issues?
I've been having trust issues for a long time... It all started when my mom started cheating on my dad. Overheard her conversations through the other line. Saw her deleted text messages, whatever...
Found out multiple friend's girlfriends were cheating on them over the years. I just always happen to be at the wrong place at the wrong time, and get exposed to shit. I know two guys who are married with kids who aren't theirs, and they have no idea.
Basically... I'm really having a hard time trusting women....
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>>17266511
asking myself the same thing tbhbbq
bump of shame
>>17266511
bumperino
So I'm at a nice restaurant in downtown Houston
Girl I've been talking to apparently ditched or something, she called me a minute ago saying she'll be right there
Itl take her 20 minutes probably to get here
She cancelled plans twice before, should I just pay and leave?
Oh I've been here waiting for an hour and a half, I've already started eating and I drank a beer already
You're already her bitch, waiting for her for 90 minutes.
You should have left after 15 mins. She knows she can trample all over you now and you'll never get her respect again.
Yeah you should just leave and forget about her. Better luck next time. What restaurant you at by the way?
