Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 418. page
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How do I deal with my guaranteed end to everything I hold dear?
I'm so sorry to hear that... can't imagine what to do.
Are you referring to a terminal illness or just death in general?
Ignore it. You're not going to give a shit when you're dead either.
>Have bad anxiety, can't really meet people orl
>Use Tinder to try and meet girls
>Been talking to this one girl non stop for about two and a half weeks
>Met up once, plan to meet her again
>She's really great and I'm kinda into her, but no clue how she feels about me
>Can't stop panicking about "what if she actually think I'm clingy/annoying/wierd
>Not really flirty with her, because not knowing how she feels makes me terrified to try
>Also worried that if she is into me she'll think I'm not into her because I'm not being flirty and find someone else
How do I just chill the fuck out about this? Why can't I comprehend these things like a rational normal person?
Rational time.
It's Tinder. She matched you. You matched her. You are both attracted to each other. This much is fact.
You talked with her. She talked with you. You both enjoyed the conversations and decided to meet. She likes your personality. This much is fact.
She likes you. This much is fact.
>>17272118
Well I know she likes me, just trying to figure out in what way is freaking me out
>I kinda lead all our conversations, she never really asks about me
>Responses to everything tend to be short "dammmmn" "lol nice" "I have geez"
>Always message her first (she tends to sleep in) because I've convinced myself if I wait for her to get to me I'll never hear from her again
I must be autistic or something. There's no way anyone normal can overthink this much
I have suggested my girlfriend that we should find some sort of online or downloadable video game we can play together.
Any suggestions on what we could play?
I used to play Dofus 2 with one of my girlfriends back in the day. It's pretty fun if you like RPG's plus it's got a "cute" look to it that girls usually like. It's a turn based RPG by the way which gave it extra plus points for me.
>>17272077
TF2
Girls love that game.
you could play twister and the one that loses has to drink a bottle of bleach
I am 18 on High school never had relationship but I had crush on few girl but never had the courage to ask them out but finally when I found the courage to ask girl out I found that she has boyfriend most of the time before I asked but not always. This happend about 6-7 times. I got really frustrated about it. Any advice?
>>17272060
Check fb before asking maybe.
I did everytime
>>17272060
have you taught maybe they are lying to you? also, rookie mistake, always find out if they are tied before asking, unless they are obviously flirting with you in which case, fuck them
i'm fresh out of high school and want to focus on my artisan career but i know that real life isn't that simple. i don't have any real life skills that make me much of an asset so i decided to yolo and follow my dreams. whats a good job that i can be diligent yet lax at, the kind of job where people don't expect much of me (i already ruled out working at a store or fast food because you have to be constant worker bee, but if push comes to shove then i'm fine with settling) I want a job that wil make it easier to focus on my art. any suggestions from /adv?
You're not going to find any cushy jobs that don't require any qualifications because they're already in high demand from other lazy shits like you. Try actually using your artistic skills and freelancing. It's not too easy to find a "freelancer needed" site for your area. What can you do?
>>17272026
From the hundreds of job threads I've read on advice, security guard (graveyard shift ) seems the best choice for you.
From what I know, you just sit around for hours on end.
You could also work reception at a small business and sketch in the downtime.
Watch this. And entry level fast food/retail/service industry work is going to the easiest work you ever find because the lack of one thing; responsibility.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVEuPmVAb8o
I'm 32 with no friends and never had a girlfriend. Is it possible to turn my life around or at this point am I too far gone?
Does anyone know of anyone who managed to turn it around?
your a dead man...KEK
jk..il give you a pro tip:
> buy some seeds
> bury them blow your dick
> grow some balls
> ?????
> enyoj GF and friends
>>17272019
Things like can seem like they get harder over time, but they're the furthest thing from impossible.
Believe it or not, self help books actually do help.
Even though it's not necessarily a self help book, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance has helped me a lot with shit. Puts things in a simple and optimistic perspective. You can start anywhere, that's what makes it so hard to start for some people because they're too concerned about where to start.
>>17272113
aren't girls going to see the virgin thing as a huge red flag and take off?
What happened to this board? When did it all go so wrong? It used to be one of the best, nowadays you get the same shit 24/7
good stuff attracts more people.
the more people you have, the more chances you have of finding the wrong people.
more wrong people, more chances of fucking it up.
people are more likely to turn stupid than smarter and are easily influenced by the majority.
once it's fucked it's fucked.
All the good oldfags left and now it's flooded with 18-22 year olds.
>>17272018
This desu baka senpai. I can barely tolerate coming to 4chan entirely.
I've been having the sexual urge to jerk it to porn more than usual and I hate it.
>usually ends in a mess
>feel tired throught the day
>pc backed up with archives
Do you guys do anything to counter this?
take saw palmetto. Stop eating food that makes you horny like chocolate and mangos.
>>17272006
the best way is to distract or exhaust yourself. are you a worhless loser that spends all his free time in front of a computer screen by any chance?
go somewhere you would never fap (backyard, the kitchen..) and and focus on things you actually like until the feeling goes away. boom.
I've known a certain girl for ten years. We have romantic history, but generally just tend to be close friends. Every few years though we'll give into our attraction to one another, hook up, and end up dating. This will continue for a few weeks until she freaks out, pulls a disappearing act on me, and we usually agree to just stay friends after everything's calmed down.
Well, surprise surprise, after having one of her new friends go on a date with me, said girl decided to profess her love for me again. A few weeks after that though, she started to disappear again. Fed up with her games, I called her out on it, and told her to grow up.
She said that she always thought we'd end up together; that she's always bailed because she's been too scared of her feelings for me getting in the way of her independence, but that this time would be different. That I'm the only guy she's ever loved this much, and she doesn't know how to handle it. She said she finds it hard to balance her career and me, because she loves me so much than when I'm around she just wants to neglect her career and do nothing but spend time with me, and she's worried she can't control that urge or doesn't like how powerless it makes her feel or some shit. But apparently seeing me with other women makes her feel equally powerless, and it's why she's never had a serious boyfriend who wasn't me.
Now, over the years, though I've been in a few serious relationships, she's never had a serious boyfriend, and people do refer to us as the local Ross and Rachel. It sucks, because I do get on with her about as well as any girlfriend I've ever had, and she knows me inside out from years of being friends, which is nice.
Should I believe her explanation for the constant bailing over the years though? Is this common for women?
She sounds like a bitch lmao.
>>17271995
She's also very sexually inexperienced, if that helps. She's cute, but she barely knows how to kiss, let alone do anything else. At least I know her intimacy issues aren't just confined to me - there's no way to be that bad if you're getting any sort of regular practice.
>>17272002
>being this naive.
How do I develop feelings for the guys I date?
I know I can develop feelings for people because I've had crushes on guys before, but never had crushes on the guys I go on dates with
I refuse to believe that this isn't bait, but just on the off chance that I'm wrong: consider going on dates with guys you already have some feelings for. Or do you refuse to make a move even when you've got a crush on someone?
>>17271990
Those guys don't like me back, I've failed whenever I've tried seducing them I've failed
>>17271964
It's better to be alone than to pretend you like someone who likes you.
Most men aren't going to be competent to become a husband or interesting to you, only interested in sex with you. That's just life.
Ok here goes
I met a really nice girl last year. Really liked her. Started talking with her and after two weeks asked her out. Told me she had a boyfriend. There were no indications she had one, no faceberg pics, no relation statuses etc. (she actually had one, not being trolled by a wymyn here). So I backed out, deciding not to chase a lost cause.
Fastforward to three weeks ago. Ran into her at work, she seemed really happy to see me. Something felt off, so I started talking to her again. We talked a lot the next few days (all faceberg, it's exam period and she doesn't leave the house except for her student job, because she's studying), and she seemed more open. So it's 2AM and she suddenly mentions she got cheated on, but isn't over him yet.
Up until today we talk practically every day. She initiates convos too, and keeps them going. She burned a candle for me because I was nervous for a fucking difficult exam, stuff like that. Stuff that's a bit way out there to show that she cares.
Now here is my dilemma:
How the hell do I handle this? If I wait because she needs to heal, I'll probably get fucking friendzoned. And if I ask her out now, I'll probably risk coming on too strong, and not respecting her healing period (never been cheated on but I can imagine it takes some time).
So anons, what is your /adv/ice?
>>17271955
If you're really interested in a relationship with this girl, wait it out.
If you're not, move on.
Risk and reward. Thats it.
>>17271965
She told me she got dumped three weeks ago. Could it be that in this time she warmed up to me? Because there have been subtle hints (i think, i still have a penis and could be reading it totally wrong), like "i'm going to watch the footy after my exams" while she knows nothing about it and she knows i like it.
and
"i'm going out wednesday, thursday and friday"
Fucking conflicted m8. I guess i'll wait and see
>>17271955
Dude just be open about it. Ask her basically what you asked us. Is she over it? Is she ready for something? My advice is just wait. If she friendzones you then she's not right for you and she was using you as an emotional buffer
What do you do when you've lost all hope?
>>17271912
Well for me, hitting rock bottom was a relief. The worst had happened so thing's couldn't get worse. Now I can only go up.
>>17271912
I watch maury, and then I'm like all good... moving on
Leave 4chan and get your life together.
>25 years old
>English degree, but managed to get a real job with it
>1 year into job, getting promotion
>really badly want to move to Japan, but that would jeopardize building my career
>possibly, I could work remotely for the company I work for now, but I would be demoted to only part-time work for sure
Anyone have advice for me? I so badly want to move and live in Japan. I speak the language at an intermediate level. But at the same time, I'm building a career and moving up quickly at the company I work at since I work so hard.
>>17271876
are there any career opportunities at all ofr you in japan?
why do you want to live there? i lived there for awile and its great dont get me wrong, but do you really want to live in japan or do you want to live in some idaelized version of japan you think about due to anime and movies and other shit.
have you ever even vacationed there for more then a few days? or at all?
>>17271881
>have you ever even vacationed there for more then a few days? or at all?
Not at all yet. I suppose I should go on a trip there some time before I make any hasty decisions.
I don't have many friends, so even being alienated there as a foreigner wouldn't bother me, I don't really hang out with people often. I love their architecture and city design. I would feel so comfy walking through places that look like pic related after a long day of work. If I get a qt Japanese gf while I'm there, that would just be a bonus, don't really care if I end up alone. I enjoy my solitude, and Japan seems like the perfect country to be alone in.
As far as a job, I have an English degree, I'm sure I could get a teaching job no problem. They eat noodles and seafood so their food won't be a culture shock for me at all, I love that kind of stuff.
>>17271899
>should vacation before i make hasty decisions
yes. and i dont mean exciting fun rush vacation, you should take an extended stay thats entirely casual there. see a little but get an actual living experience there
>i dont have many friends so wont feel alienated
no. stop. trust me, you do nto know hwat you are talking about. 'dont have many friends' and complete isolation cuz you cant truly understand anyone or anything is not remotely the same. i did guam, i did japan, i did cuba, i did peurto rico. and even with the support of the military community, its tough as fuck. no matter how well you think you practice that language on your home turn, its no where near understanding what its like to be surrounded by millions of people who speak it fluently. you are generalizing way too much.
>i would feel so comfy walking through places like pic related after a long day of work
you are looking at this like people look at having a long term relationship. its an imaginary feeling you are basing your idea off of. when people imagine settling down, marrying and coming home after wokr every day they are imagining a blur of feelings and ideas. not the actual fucking situation. dont get me wrong im the kind of guy who takes comfort in just walking around adn enjoying scenery or even a nice sky. but thinking you'll be fulfilled just going here after work every day is shit.
plus you can find godo atmosphere in america.
>maybe ill get a japanese wife
>but that i want one or anything
dont lie its your endgame, you're just saying that to put on a face man.
>i enjoy my solitude, so more solitude would be nice?
except for how every space is smaller, your squished in and you are unable to just have your regular conversatiosn when ordering your fucking food, sure. its not the same at all.
Hi /adv/
I've been investigating dating site a while now ans i've come to the conclusion
That bitches only want cock?....
one;
its very hard to get a reply from anyone unless youre white tier handsome.
two;
contact fagging.....
to get a reply so you can start prying bitches you must first ask them about everything
going on.
what they like,
you need lots of endurance, you must chat for very long before she even gets interested at all,,,
also youy can try chatting with someone for 2 momths to then ask her for future "chats"
only to be blocked right away.......
So you see, theyre only there to get likes.
all profiles the same....
i do this, i like thast, fuck that,,,-
three;
It never gets here.....
they didnt think they would ever find anyone here.
and they didnt want to.
youll never find virgins here........
>>17271797
It's a hit or miss thing. Alot of girls use it as an ego boost, but it can work. My friend met his girl on tinder, and they've been together for 2-3 years.
You just got to say the right thing, hope you're lucky with when you say it (if she is free to talk at the time) and not wait too long to meet up. If things are going well usually in 8 or so 'back and forths', just ask to meet up.
But true, people's shallowness really comes out on those sites/apps
Op here
This applies to dating sites not fuckbook.
I get messages 24/7 on fuckbook.
>>17271797
You sound like a turkroach.
My girlfriend likes to watch me have sex with her friends, the only problem is, her friends are all nerdy fat girls and I want to fuck someone who is actually attractive. My friends say I'm living the dream, a girlfriend who basically gave me a stable of horny women, but its no fun if I feel like I'm plowing a bunch of autistic turbo nerds who need to lay off the McDonalds. What do I do?
I'm slightly ashamed at how turned on I am by this
What about your girlfriend herself?
>>17271816
Shes very attractive, shes nerdy but not as nerdy as her friends. I love sex with her but she doesn't seem to enjoy it nearly as much as watching me
