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How to have a serious talk with a very sensitive GF?
I'm in a semi-LDR currently (1 hour drive) relationship and we've been together for 6 years ( we lived in the same city for 4 of those 6 years). Normally I'm not the needy type, but although I'm sure that she loves me and is comitted to our future, there have been several incidents in the past months concerning coldness, disrespect, negligence and evasiveness.
The last meetings i was a bit bitter and complainy and i can definitely can see, that she's trying to better herself and that she's sorry. I have to say it's a stressful time for her and a changing living situation. It was always hard to have "serious" talks with her (she usually begins to cry, apologizes and I comfort her then) and we never had a real fight. But as we never had the big talk, she doesn t seem to get the big picture and there are still minor incidents which are burdening my love to her.
So I'm still bitter about the past months and just would like have a big talk about those issues a last time, so that we can have an unburdened outlook on the future and i don't become resentful. I intend not to be complaining and judging, but to just explain her why i was bothered at all, that I want to have a kind of emotional "fresh start" and unburdened outlook on the future. Also i would like to make my boundaries and expectations clear to hear and would like to hear her wishes in return.
How would you approach such a talk with a sensitive girl that s more on the shut-in side of the spectrum? Pls help /avd/.
>>(she usually begins to cry, apologizes and I comfort her then
what a clever way to stop you from speaking your mind
instead of comforting her, speak your mind, boo-hoo, she'll cry because she's an autist/shut-in, but in the long run you'll do yourself a favor if you can express your feelings and let the bitter built-up bile out of ur system
if you can't talk with your partner about (any serious )things, well, that's a shit relationship right there, don't you think
>>17271531
you're absolutely right, that s why i intend to have this serious talk and i'm determined to go through with it. I will tell her, that it's okay for me if she cries, and we can take our time for that discussion but that i wont comfort her till we're through with my issues.
I'm just afraid that if i don t find the right approach that she'll "switch off" emotionally, wont get what i'm trying to say and i will appear more complaining than ever. The next problem i'm afraid of, is that it may become a monologue. How do i get her to open up and speak her mind? I assume that the main cause for her misbehaviours that she's afraid that i might get upset and argue with her. (the main issues were about communication; too rare, she seems to withhold things about her local friends because she might fear jealousy or that i might disagree because i'm a quite "traditional" guy). She seems to really fear arguments of any kind.
>>17271548
>>17271548
you seem to be in a pickle, all I could think of is to speak your mind in a way that she doesn't feel that it's an "attack" on her (because of the fear of conflict) - just be calm, loving, tell her why you feel what you feel, do whatever to make sure that this conversation wouldn't feel like a conflict - but you can't babysit her all the way and if she cannot evolve as a human bean and meet you half-way...
I've been trying to raise up my self esteem, but it's fucking impossible. I literally can't find any redeeming quality about myself. What should i do?
>>17271496
Maybe ask someone else who can be objective without being cruel. We're often our own worse critics...
>>17271496
What do you do for a living?
>>17271496
>I literally can't find any redeeming quality about myself. What should i do?
Make one.
How often can you use it, and how do you ignore the desire?
Month break between MDMA use MINIMUM, I'd recommend at least 3. You're going to be flirting w/ a little condition known as serotonin syndrome otherwise. I wouldn't bomb over 100mg in one dose, plus make sure that shit is clean w/ a testing kit. Stay hydrated, but not too hydrated, etc.
How to ignore the desire? Have nights out without drugs (including drink), focus on your professional/personal/hobbies, see drug use as a treat as opposed to a need.
Check out the website Erowid in future/if you have more questions.
>>17271574
you are a fucking retard
serotonin syndrom happens when too mach serotonin is released (e.g. when you combine mdma with a serotonine reuptake inhibitor). taking mdma too often depletes you serotonin reserves and causes depression.
you could at least read the fucking wikipedia page on the terms you use before your start spouting your bullshit
>>17271601
s/mach/much/
dunno how that typo happened
>be 17 last year
>enlist into the army reserves
>IT specialist
>using the partial financial aid and training to further my life
>it's been almost 8 months since enlisting
>just graduated
>now 18
>leave for basic training across the country August 1
>have girlfriend
>she has depression and anxiety
>tells me how she wishes I wouldn't go
>says however that she doesn't want to hold me back and wants to let me go
>have considered quitting because of her
>learned that's not the best course of action
I'm going to be gone for a little under 8 months. I don't know what to do about my girl or how to make all of this better, since my time here is dwindling. We're both going to stay together through it, but I don't want her being hurt too much. Any advice? Especially from prior service members with this kind of experience.
>depression
>anxiety
you are going to get cucked son. my advice is to just be prepared for the worse so it won't hurt as much if it happens
>>17271417
Can confirm through experience.
A lot of girls who say they have 'depression' and 'anxiety' try to justify cheating by thinking it's 'their depression/anxiety becoming too unbearable'.
It's quite low that she'll remain faithful, so if you wanna take that risk go for it but at least from my experience anon is right
Honestly I think you'd save yourself a lot of hardship if the two of you just decided that the long distance thing isn't going to work and go your separate ways amicably. That's what I did with my HS girlfriend since we both went to different schools, we hung out a lot over the summer then had a last date and went our own ways the next morning.
We've both changed a lot in the decade since then and moved on to bigger and better things. You're 18, why are you tying yourself down like this?
About a week ago I jumped off a rock onto some rough grass and hurt my ankle badly. I was up a mountain and managed to get back you the road. There was instant swelling and pain, and I went to the hospital the next day. They x-rayed it and told me (I think) that two bones in your ankle when you're a kid has cartilage between then and as you grow older its supposed to join together. Well they're no sure if it is just they didn't grow together yet or I pulled it apart with my fall. I was told to wear a boot for 10 days (and crutches) and to come back. After 7 days i could walk on my ankle fine, so I've been doing this since the 9th day (which is today), as I've a lot on for the summer, im wondering if it be likely to be broken or not, since I can walk on it fine. I really don't want a cast. Thanks
You'll find out when you go back to the doctor tomorrow. No one here can tell you shit.
I was just wondering would you be able to walk on it with no pain if it was broken. Has anyone not experienced pain and it still was broken? Thanks
You've most likely just strained your ligament.
I strained mine + fractured my shinbone three months ago. Had to walk on crutches for three months, but no cast. It hurt more than anything, and I could not walk on it.
I'm very quick to cut people out of my life if they disappoint me or don't meet my often unrealistically high expectations. Is that a problem? It usually concerns women.
I don't have a shortage of women and I'm pretty ordinary in relationships outside of sex so that doesn't bother me, really. When it comes to friends though it can sometimes come back to bite me.
I sometimes wonder whether I have some deeper, underlying issues in terms of emotions.
Any tips on how to be less harsh with people around me? Or should I just embrace my inability to let people in?
Do you see yourself as a natural leader? To be humble, patient and understanding are good virtues. You are doing something good in the world by accepting how people are different from you.
>>17271382
I find i am the same way. I moved around a lot as a kid so without realizing it i just stopped letting friendship get deeper than acquaintances. Married with kids, but no friends right now.
I would say just try to be more empathetic. Women tend to wear their emotions on their sleeve so i find them easier to read. Guys not so much. I can say that guys don't like it when you change things up too much.
>>17271382
You sound borderline bro
Hey /adv/,
Girl I love broke up with me a few months ago. We went about a month without contact and have hung out a bunch since. It was one of those breakups that wasn't super heated or anything. I feel like I'm falling for her all over again and we are still super comfortable with each other. My problem lies with interpreting what she does/says. I am not in the business of analyzing and picking apart everything she does but there are situations that I would consider to be heavy signals if it were any other girl. Should I read more into these situations or should I assume they are just something that has become commonplace between us?
>>17271374
Dest to cut right through the crap and ask her. Did you want to get back together.
Otherwise who knows what she is up to. Does she want to get back together? Is she just lonely? Are you being used as an emotional crutch until she finds someone else? She may not even know herself, but save yourself some time and hurt by asking.
>>17271377
Jesus fuck, would you guys stop already
Asking/telling is lame, and is likely to make her second guess. If you want someone back you got to look forward and show her that you're doing well post breakup, and at the same time remind her of your good qualities, and as with any other relationship start-up: build attraction.
>>17271384
>If you want someone back you got to look forward and show her that you're doing well post breakup, and at the same time remind her of your good qualities, and as with any other relationship start-up: build attraction.
Well i guess he is doing well without me.........i gave up a good thing.... i wish he wanted me back.....i can't be around him anymore......its too painful. i should move on and date that guy at work that asked me out.
27
Going back to uni to study a master of cyber security since I'm unemployed right now. Had to move back home.
>Can't find part time work.
>Offshoring has destroyed my previous work area
>5'5''
>Fit
>Ugly
>27 Never had a GF.
Everyday I think about how nothing good has happened to me how I did everything a person is supposed to do to succeed and instead the world spat in my face. Bitter as fuck, made peace I'm either going to die alone or be used as a beta bucks if I get another job. Suicide is the only way right?
>Pic not related just art from a table top game I like.
>>17271341
Also am I too late to change my area of IT?
You don't seem that bad.
You already have a BA or something if you are going for a master's.
Shit could be worse
>5'5"
>fat
>ugly
>work a dead end job as a security guard
>just an AA
>only thing I was good at was being a soldier
>too fucked up to be a normal, not fucked up for autism bucks
First of all stop thinking about a gf, and sex. Yeah, the lack of is saddening but that feel is a waste of time and energy. You need to keep chugging along.
Fuck, I too want to kill myself, but I'm too much of a pushy to end it now. So I'm working on a slow suicide, it's called life. In 30 to 40 years, I'll be dead, in end it doesn't matter man.
Dude, I just finished an MSc in Comp Security. DESU I'm having problems getting into the market right now, despite reading a lot about huge demand. The ads i've seen mostly want experience already in cyber security or want you to be security cleared. I've been out the country for the last year, so getting clearance is a problem for me. There doesn't seem to be a tremendous amount of "junior" or Entry level stuff going on.
I spent 2.5 years working part time to get the MSc and about 15k sterling. I will be bloody pissed off if i can't cash in on all my work and dedication.
Even with a MSc i can still recognise that i have to add additional skills, Linux Kali, Ethical Hacking, Python etc. I have IT qualifications coming out of my ass, MCSE, CCNA Security, Comptia Sec, ITIL etc. But i'm still struggling, I'm finding it all very unmotivating now. One advantage i think i have is that this MSc can be applied to any work in IT. It makes you a better support person or developer because you have the mindset of security implications.
I think any course of self improvement is worthwhile, so If you can afford it, go for it.
so i\m fairly addicted to benzodiazepines, at least to the point where i get full scale epileptic seizures when trying to quit cold turkey (yes it happened).
this abuse has been going on for about 9 months to a year now, aside from special occasions i try to keep the doses as low as possible and mostly use Z-analouges rather than "real" benzos.
anyway i originally started taking zopiclone for severe insomnia. back then was before i abused it, maybe 3-4 years ago. but now it has ramped up for various reasons. i've gotten to the point where 40 mg of zopiclone (insert random brand here) barely makes me feel anything. over this year i've managed to be sober for 1-3 days at most on 1-3 occasions, one of whitch was said time where i was stupid enough to go CT and woke up at the ER.
im afraid of many things, not getting enough sleep, becoming afraid of sleep again which was the root cause of my insomnia, and im scared to death of the withdrawal symptoms in general and im scared of getting a seizure in the wrong time & place etc and end up dying or crippled for life.
someone please help me out of this hell. write anything. there must be a lot of people other than me who have been in the same situation or are currently in the same situation. tell me how you cope.
TL;DR desperate benzo addict in need of help
Are rehab centers out of the question?
>>17271295
depends. it's a maybe if you'd asked further up the road. the thing is that i was recently forced to move back to my parents for various reasons. they're really conservative/christians in every regard so it wouldn't be too weird if they disowned me if they found out their son fucked up his life and became a decadent drug addict. and as a friendless neet it is kinda hard to come up with an alibi for x amount of weeks or however long it takes.
i expect to be moving out again in two months or less though.
>>17271310
Yeah because I can understand that attending a rehab center sort of lets everyone whatsup. But depending on where you live you could perhaps attend a rehab center further away from your community once you move out? That way you'll at the very least run a lower risk of the word getting out?
Catfishing advice
So guys i have been catfishing for a while abd realised that having a female persona online is so much fun. But there are sometimes when i am unable to answer some questions because i am not actually a gril. So today i was asked by some guy about my measurements and i didnt know how to answer and i had to google it.
What are some questions that guys ask girls all the time that i should have the answers of when i am asked.
This is now the stupidest OP I've ever read.
>>17271261
Kek! This
>>17271261
Thanks for the bump
Yo /adv/
How do I know if I'm gay? I mean like I enjoy Dicks and such but not interested in faces. Not sure how to explain it but am I gay for enjoying male parts and not the person?
>>17271258
Yes.
>>17271258
Yes, this is how all gays are. This is why they often have sex with strangers and coordinate in public. This is also why there is often polygamy in gay relationships and lots of organized group sex.
This is why they have such high rates of STDs and why gays are so repulsive to interact with. They're not trying to be likeable, they're just trying to signal their homosexuality so they can get dicks.
>>17271258
Pray the gay away op
Hey anons, I need your help. Lately I've been sleepwalking again and around 2 weeks ago something very embarassing happened, this guy filmed me and put me op on facebook. He is also trying to blackmail me. I have his name, facebook and telephone number and I want to make his life as miserable as possible. Any tips on how to do this?
>>17271225
How can he blackmail you after he has already made the footage public?
Make an interesting green text, embellish it and make it fascinating and make a personal army request to /b/.
Be warned they will only agree if it's a good story, if not they will just turn on you.
>>17271231
This
I don't think either one of you understood how blackmail works
All I ever see are these kind of girls, pic related. The loud ones who go out to bars and clubs, etc. I'd love to have one, but I've never had any luck with them.
Where are the other girls? The last time I interacted with one was my ex, and that was several years ago. I go outside, I do activities and things, but I can't get an interaction with a 'normal' girl. What do I do?
Try church.
>>17271214
These are "normal" girls. Your perception is just skewed.
>>17271238
I can see that. Maybe I should rephrase the question: though I am in good shape and good enough looking, I'm not huge, nor do I really have the personality to own it in a bar or club (I usually get into convos with strangers tho)
So where can I find these normal girls not at bars, and what can I do to increase my odds?
I have a problem anons. I plan on talking to my girlfriend today about blowjobs. She had a bad experience with an ex and it kinda turned her off of them. I want to start an open dialog with her because I feel like I'm ignored. She doesn't like to give handjobs and I end up having to jerk off at the end of sex because I just don't feel like my needs are met. How do I communicate that this is bothering me and I want to try to work with her effectively. How can I work with her?
Bump for having same issue as op. Gf irrationally refuses blowjobs with no reason other than just because.
>>17271202
The problem is for me it's something I really value. I feel it's where as a guy I can relax and enjoy pleasure and not worry about getting us both there.
And here I am, someone's wife who is willing to do anything you can imagine about sex to him, begs for his attention, sometimes I am naked around the house, I go to the gym and keep also my face good and well done with make up, nice hair and nails, just to find out he would rather watch porn than being with me.
Life sucks my friends, sorry your girlfriend doesn't.
Tfw have learning disabilities, and i use to just follow the rules and not do bad things, but now cuz of some extensive mindfuckings by people smarter than me, I'm tormented by thoughts of things I don't want to think about so I keep doing stupid shit and YOLOing to distract myself.
>>17271175
What's your IQ?
Is it autism? You can't cure autism.
>>17271206
Insecure about what? Is it gasslighting or something?
