Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 411. page
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I've always been the type to keep my distance from relationships and intimacy, but once I hit about 18 I finally chose to let one into my life. I'm 22 now, and have been with the same guy, now my fiance, for almost three years. Its a very serious relationship and I do love him and care about his well being, but I'm starting to feel that it might be an abusive relationship. I can't hang out with guys, I can't really have regular conversations with guys without hiding it from him, I definitely can't go anywhere with guys unless he's there, he...
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Everything you've said about this guy is abusive. It's clear he's fucking with your head because you felt obligated to physically describe yourself as if it in any way justifies the way he treats you.
>every time he gets mad at me it turns into me being crazy or a stupid bitch or cunt with no reason or logic
Don't walk out the door. Run. Fiances don't say hateful shit like that.
I should also mention he's diagnosed with acute bipolar disorder
Its really confusing to me, he can be so good to me one week and then all in one hour its just utter turmoil, within another hour its fine again.
>>17274091
I don't know you or him but I don't see anything good about this relatonship. He might sound cute and forgiveable when he apologizes for his outbursts but it's only going to get worse and you have ZERO obligation to see it through.
Im a fat lazy fuck who does nothing all day but try to get myself to go for a walk. I have clinically diagnosed depression but now I feel I'm just a whiny, lazy, and self entitled brat.
I try to work out and eat healthy but I cant hold myself very well to it.
I try to go get an education but frankly I've dropped out of college first semester and am on an academic and financial probation that the only way I can clear it is by being a full time student for 1 semester with a 2.5 average gpa without financial assistance.
I'm contemplating killing myself without fucking up this time. This time I will go to the twin cities and go to the top floor of at least a 20 story building then jump to my death.
I feel I know how I can make myself better. If I lose the weight, get in shape, and actually do stuff outside I will be better. I think at least.
No I can't join the army, I'm too fat for the army.
I'm too poor to afford boot camps near me($2000 for 3 weeks for fucks sake).
Im too unreliable to hold myself accountable.
I just wish I could be happy again, I don't know what happiness feels like anymore.
>>17274074
Get a workout buddy, or a trainer. The trainer's job is to help keep you motivated and moving along in your program.
How much do they cost?
>>17274074
>I'm contemplating killing myself without fucking up this time. This time I will go to the twin cities and go to the top floor of at least a 20 story building then jump to my death.
Don't land on anyone.
why are stepdads so bad? i'm 18 and am going to college in the fall, anyways my stepdad gets angry and yells at me and my mom a lot and he's been getting angrier, it's like watching an angry child in the body of fifty year old man what do i do? he was drunkenly calling us lazy sons of bitches and throwimg food away tonight, and even though he's not wrong to call us lazy, he seemed to be enraged and he was mumbling to himself about how we're lazy pieces of shit and how we do nothin
Develop a friendship with him. That way you can really go at him without it being too far away from your comfort zone.
>>17274062
we used to be kinda but he's become withdrawn and kinda crazy, and we don't work well together and i've never been comfortable around him
Counter Question: Why do moms like her tolerate such people?
How do you know what you want to do with your life?
I'm 27 and I feel like I missed the boat of fulfillment by a decade and now it's just crisis management.
Do something you're passionate about
Like a hobby or something
>>17274048
I don't think I'm passionate about anything. I like doing certain things sometimes but I don't have the drive to wake up early/stay up late and create or do something.
I had an interview recently and I was asked if I had a passion for programming and I wanted to call the interviewer an asshole for asking such a stupid question. He then went on about how running a business is a passion for him.
Same problem here, no passion for anything real.
Used to be vidya, dropped that.
Then lifting but now that I look somewhat decent that passion is gone too.(still doing it just to maintain)
I feel like I'm actually smart enough to get shit done, but I don't want to do it for whatever reason...
I've already consulted countless psychologists and psychiatrists throughout my entire life and it was wasted time and money
I can say that I'm a hopeless case
I'll try and resume very basically my life and what's wrong with me:
>got bullied at school, so, dislike being around people, dislike going outside
>so if you don't leave your house and don't meet people, you don't evolve, mature, gain skills etc.
>developed unusual values, opinions...
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>>17273986
You have found a perfect excuse for everything - "I can't" - and that frees you from ever having to try.
But just suppose that it is not "in your nature" to be lazy and irresponsible, but a choice you made so long ago you've forgotten you made it as a choice?
The only way to do anything is just to do it. The only way to make yourself do it is to decide to.
>>17274064
sure, but then comes the question, how do I do it?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXsQAXx_ao0 watch this shia laBeouf motivation video
Is 5'10'' an okay height for a guy? I'm 19, turning 20 in five days, and I'm thinking I might have peaked.
>is a perfectly average height okay for a guy?
I don't know, you tell me.
Are there actual people who are self-conscious about their height? Sounds like an autismo thing.
>>17273967
Only the retards who take 4chan seriously
So I've just made two characters, in Fall Out Four. And now I don't know which to choose to play as. I know one will die in the beginning, and the other will live on. So help me out here guys.
So about my photo being side ways. I'm using my phone.
Which one is the chick?
>>17273948
The one in the front. She has a pig tail
>Last night I went to a party and got pretty drunk .
>I remember my friends driving me home but not what I did when I arrived home.
>This morning I woke up I my sister's bed ( she's 12) and I found her sleeping on the couch.
She wont talk to me and shes ignoring me. What do I do?
Apologise, and get her a small gift or take her out for the day.
>>17273882
This (apologize), but buy her a gift AND take her out for a day.
>>17273897
Yeah, I forgot to add "and both"
So recently I was playing a game called counter strike. . When playing with friends tonight something weird happened . I would have a sort of memory lapse and when the next round started I would be completely confused and the last thing I would remember doing was being on YouTube. I did regain my train of thought pretty quick but its weird. I also have hallucinations. In the game I will see enemies and kill them, which doesn't reflect on the score board or anywhere. My friends who were spectating me at the time say I was shooting at absolutely nothing but to me it was vivid...
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>>17273840
Are you getting enough sleep? Sleep deprivation will make you randomly black out and cause memory lapses like that. And hallucinations. Get more sleep if so.
Sounds like lack of sleep, or maybe it is all in your head. The classic expression they always taught us in psychology is that "if you think you may be crazy, you aren't crazy". Supposedly because crazy people don't think they are crazy.
>>17273840
Do you use any drugs or medications?
Caffeine?
I fear death
Pretty much I can become a fire fighter in nyc when i turn 21. I come from firefighter family with a known name. Because of one of my relatives i could get into a fire house that's in trendy, parttish area, where they are treated as heroic celebrities. They even have groupies.
I wanna do it but, im scared of death. I also want to be an artist so its a great gig. I pretty much have a garunteed income for rest of life if i do it.
No one has died in my family but who can forget 9/11. Whole companies were wiped out.
What should i do?
>>17273815
if you fall, do a flip
srs tho everyone's afraid of death
anyone with half a brain, that is
all that "courage" bullcrap is just, well, bullcrap
people that say they're not scared of death just don't realise that they CAN die
they think they're invincible
so yeah, don't become a firefighter
>>17273815
Read some epicurus, broseph.
http://classics.mit.edu/Epicurus/menoec.html
"Accustom yourself to believe that death is nothing to us, for good and evil imply awareness, and death is the privation of all awareness; therefore a right understanding that death is nothing to us makes the mortality of life enjoyable, not by adding to life an unlimited time, but by taking away the yearning after immortality."
Pursue a different career. Firefighting is not for you.
My friend has a nerdy, fat shy girl as a roommate. I recently slept with her after getting drunk at a get together with my friend. After hooking up with her a few more times (doing really freaky shit) she feels guilty because I have a girlfriend. How do I get her to stop feeling guilty about it? She could end up telling my girlfriend which would be fucking awful.
you deserve her to tell your girlfriend, tell your girlfriend yourself or let her do it.
Dude shes baiting you. She dont give a fuck about how youre girl feels. Im sure she knows youre girls hotter than her and what she is. A fuck toy. Shes setting you up because in her delusional head she thinks she can replace her.
>>17273808
You brought this on yourself
Hey /adv/, need some advice.. why I'm posting here.
My wife just gave birth to our first child (son) yesterday, about 24 hours ago. I'm having trouble with the mother in law and visitation... but I'll give some background.
I am not very close to my family. Not any bad relationships, but we live fairly far from eachother, spread all over the country, and my family realized, and realizes, that my family is an extension of their family but is a separate unit. I am happy to see them (and my parents visited their grandson today for about two hours)...
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>>17273775
after the baby was born my mother in law has been visiting almost constantly. I have been stepping out and running home to take care of pets, but she has been almost a constant addition to my wife's recovery room. My wife is taking 10 weeks from work, and my mother in law has already taken the entire next week off to help out at home.
She has made it clear she doesn't want to impose, but my wife is instantly assuring that her presence is welcome, even though it is emotionally and physically draining...
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>>17273802
I need a way to set strong boundaries without seriously damaging my relationship with my wife or my mother in law, or her relationship with her mother.. Anyone else gone through this or similar and have any advice?
>>17273804
nobody?
