Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 410. page
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How do you deal with people who act nice to your face but curse you behind your back? How do you deal with people that you know are very destructive but speak softly and compose themselves and put on an insincere front. Because you know anything you say to them will not get an honest answer so it's like talking to a mask, and it's fucking creepy and sickening. Like I'm guilty of concealment of my true feelings myself, but I never went out of my way to act nice to someone. Any help this person offers is clearly anything but that. They do anything they can to get your attention and when you're done you feel drained.
It's horrible because it makes you feel particularly helpless. If someone shouts at you or cusses you out or even punches you, it's not so bad because you know it's honest, and sometimes it can be cathartic.
Maybe I'm just too sensitive, but dealing with someone like that is like a kind of confusing prison.
>>17274314
and you know that if you ever confront someone like this they can just turn it against you.
>>17274314
buy a gun and shoot them
>>17274324
reporting that to the police, thanks.
never can be too careful in this day and age.
I'm a retard, and I've done so much stupid shit, people thought I was pretending to be a retard until I proofed I was retarded, then I did more retarded shit and now my best friend hates me because I did loads of retarded things.
ITS AUTISM BTW
>>17274313
>proofed
Awaiting mathematical formula
>>17274313
>proofed
That's an ironic way of proving it.
Ive had 2 girlfriends with relationships that lasted around a year but i never became sexually intimate. Wed hold hands cuddle and kiss and other kinds of physical intimacy but I dont want to have sex until I think they are wife material. However when Im single I haxe sex with prostitues so that I can releive some frustration around twice a year. Is it bad that I want to wait til I know a girl is good for me long term before becoming sexual but having some sex with prostitutes a few times a year?
If any of you are wondering why Im being blueballed. I live in a country with more conservative values, where sex is not expected early in a relationship. Its done by long term couples or people who are about to marry or after. Ive only dated virgins. I can dig that they want to be old fadhioned but I know I need to vent my frustrations eventually.. But I dont how to feel about respecting my girlfriends wishes while not applying them to myself. I feel kind of a hypocrite? I dont cheat on them btw. Prostitutes are only when Im single.
>>17274307
You're certainly a hypocrite, that's for sure. If you live in a conservative place, premarital sex, including with hookers, would be looked down upon, and so your justification for not having sex with your girlfriends falls apart too. Plus I'm somewhat confused as to how long it takes you to determine whether someone is wife material or not.
Pretty stupid to be sure. Have you actually told any of these women that you fuck prostitutes on the regular? I'd bet money they'd dump you on the spot if they're the type that would be willing to wait a year to have sex.
>>17274331
I dont fuck prostitutes when Im in a relationship.
ok i want to say something me and this girl we both love eachother but everytime i ask her out she pushes me away im inlove with her but i dont know what to do。
>>17274299
How old are you? Like, 12?
You don't love each other.
You're her orbiter and she's stringing you along.
Stop talking to her. If she loves you she'll come around and ask you out.
>>17274299
What makes you think she loves you if she keeps pushing you away? That doesn't sound much like love.
Anyone here a wheelchair user? I have a few questions if so.
>Why do you use one?
>How long have you used one?
>Do you notice people behaving differently towards you than they do to people walking?
>How do you feel about being a wheelchair user in general?
>>17274297
I have a question too. What is the thing that you would wish for people to do the most? What is the thing that people do often that you dislike the most?
>>17274322
(I actually do use a wheelchair and I'm assuming you're asking these questions knowing that :3)
>What is the thing that you would wish for people to do the most?
Maintain their elevators and ramps, mostly, haha. Or HAVE them if they don't. People install this stuff to look ADA-compliant but you'd be surprised how many "wheelchair-accessible" spots aren't reachable because the ramp is very narrow or has stairs at the bottom (???) or the elevator broke down last week and nobody got it fixed. Then I'm stuck like you would be if a building had no door and everyone else could phase through the wall.
On a more individual level, I wish people would chill out. There's this weird look people give me sometimes that's like a combo of fascination, anxiety, pity, and compassion, and usually I'm just going about my day in a reasonably good mood like everyone else. It's truly not that terrible for me to have a disability.
>What is the thing that people do often that you dislike the most?
Touch me. Like touch my chair, lean on it, lovingly pat my shoulder or otherwise put hands all over me as a total stranger. The chair is an extension of my body and I'm not a small child, lol.
>>17274356
If you have more questions, go for it. I can only speak for myself here, though.
> I (19yo) decided to move out.
> My parents are not very happy with that
>Going to do it anyway
Any advice on how to move out without ruining the relationship?
Start by not posting the same thread twice?
>>17274262
Nobody answered
>>17274271
No one has any advice for you, but asking it again will somehow change that?
So my grandfather once told me when I was very young that on his farm a metior fell from the sky and landed on his land he located said metior and kept it the next day he told me a man came to his house offering close to 100,000 for it he refused the offer and kept it, now time has past my grandparents are getting older and the inevitable will come and all these years I've been thinking I want that damn space rock is this messed up? I've done my homework and it's Saud a pound of metior can go for up to 1 million dollars and I've held this thing before it has to be at least 50 pounds maybe 70 if what's said is true when the ink is dry on the will and we're free to take what we want could I be a millionaire with extreme wealth?
They're not worth 1,000,000 per pound, but you probably could get a nice sum of money for it.
>>17274257
I just feel wrong you know anticipating their passing just to get my hands on this rock, I'm not wishing their deaths or anything morbid like that but still I just feel wrong but how would you feel in my shoes?
>>17274264
Yea, I've always felt that inheritance brings out some emotions we'd rather not feel. Fortunately I've never been in a will and never will be. But I've sometimes imagined having a rich relative leaving me a million upon passing or something. I wouldn't be too tore up about it. We're all greedy monkeys at the end of the day. At least you have the self-awareness to check your behavior, a lot of people get completely beside themselves in situations like these.
What is this white spot on my lip /adv/? I'm pretty worried.
Looks like a terminal case of cancer.
I /adv/ise you see a doctor for medical issues
>>17274213
I know that's gonna happen eventually. I just wonder if somebody has had experience with something like this in the past.
I feel like it's all pointless because I have zero friends. I was addicted to video games so I drove my last friend away, now I gave up video games and just browse the internet alone. Even people with Down Syndrome have at least one friend. I am a worthless piece of shit. I just want to make ONE FRIEND but my self esteem is too low. I can't keep up a friendship because I am insecure , depressed, and boring and nobody wants that as a friend. What can I do?
Just go out and meet a guy at a bar. Many of my friends I met on a night out, and now we're really close. Or get a job and hang out with a cool coworker
>>17274230
I'd go to a bar, but I feel awkward for randomly starting a conversation with a stranger. I guess I don't want them to think I'm a weirdo? I went to a couple bars before and guys started talking to me, but I felt like they wanted something from me. Maybe I'm expecting them to feel the same.
Add people on steam from groups to play shit and try to talk to some of them. Eventually you should find one that might want to hang out.
If you're a neet that is, if you got a job it should be simpler. Pretty sure a lot of people on MMORPGs like FF14 or WoW is pretty chatty, if not then just any game. You might want to lower your standards of friendship though.
I want to be comfy playing videogames and earning achievements with my green tea, but it's pretty cold and the heater is broken.
I've got my jacket on, but my feet keep getting cold through my socks and my shoes. Any advice for me?
>specially tips on heating my feet and being more comfy
>>17274187
move to a warmer climate
>>17274188
That seems pretty extreme bruh.
Though I would like to eventually live somwhere with more of a medium climate. It's always balls hot or freezing cold.
>>17274188
Double layer socks, hot water bottle/some sort of heating pad, put them in hot water until they warm up and then dry them thoroughly...
A lot of things are simple, but generally once they are warm it is easier to keep them warm.
I'm an American born to a Ukrainian mother. When I was 12, I finally realised that my mom was actually a mail-order bride. Ever since then, I cannot stop myself from loathing her and myself. What can I do about this?
Why do you loathe her?
>>17274157
Did you come from a happy home and did your parents get along?
Be happy she sold herself to improve your chances of a moderately comfortable life in the US. Dont be ashamed of the thing you are.
Are here other ppl who enjoy being single?
or not just "single" because that word suggests to being in a search for a partner. I'm not "single" because i'm not looking for anybody.
I have been in relationships 13years straight and i must say its so nice to be alone. I'm not traumatized, but whats all the fuzz with being in a relationship for? Now, when being single, i notice how ppl just hang around in their unhappy relationships. All that jealousy, suffocation, unhappiness in partner, sexual frustrations, cheating and fear of getting cheated etc.
My friends in relationships:
1) i just flirted heavily with an old colleque of mine, who then turned out to be married. We were sex talking and planning on fucking until she got remorses, and she is a highly religious teacher in a christian school. I just feel bad to her husband, which seems to be a cool guy. What did this guy do to deserve a person like that. I got fucking angry. Not the first time i get to feel the emotion cocktail of a married woman.
2) When hanging out with a group of school mates, it is always awkward to witness how two colleques of mine disappear somewhere. Everybody knows about it. The woman is married and sometimes her husband comes to pick her up from the school with their kid.
3) When having the night out, bunch of my married male friends, at some point, wants tho get drunk and go to the club to "seek their marker value". "We want to see are we still good for the girls" they say. Must be awesome to be married to these guys.
4) a few friends of mine are in long-distance relationships. One of them sees her partner once in a year. Wohoo! Must be amazing to suffer!
5) 3-4 of my friends have been together with their highschool sweethearts until their 30's. The angst of realizing they are changed, not happy anymore but too afraid to let it go after all these years.
Fucking hell, i dont want to get involved with relationships, m8. People should be jealous to me being alone
Look up "Men going their own way" on google and prepare for a bunch of replies from women-haters, forever alones, and pickup artist wannabes.
>>17274151
i have been thinking about going MGTOW. But tell me; can i join this even if i dont have big troubles with women. I just dont like how the relationships are turning out to be generally speaking, its not the women themselves. Am i mgtow?
>>17274156
You don't need to have woman-issues to do what you want to do, if that's what you're asking.
If you don't feel the need for a relationship (for better or worse), don't have a relationship. It's your life.
Hi /adv/isors.
>so this girl, let's call her X, we've been buds for 6 years now
>I kinda liked her but I was young at the time so I didn't try anything funny, there were other girls at play
>years pass, it's a year ago from now
>by this time I'm falling hard for her, listening to romantic songs on my balcony, the works
>getting really riled up about outing myself to her
>decide it's been too long past my chance to come clean, hide my feelings
>3 months pass
>talk her best friend up (also friends for quite a while, although not as close as X), go out, have a friendly chat
>let's call her Y
>snap, delude myself into thinking that she's the best woman in the world
>crush hard, go out on a few occasions
>X and I talk about stuff so this comes up, she's genuinely surprised
>tell Y I like her a lot and I'm sorta obsessed with her
>chat with Y on skype, tells me we have a big past together and it's wierd
>blabla go out one more time, blabla tells me it's not that we had a past, it's that she straight up doesn't like me (I already picked up the hint, just tried a few tricks, was just me grasping at straws)
>really depressed at this point
>already going through tough shit
>my best friend trying to talk me into convincing myself that X is who I wanted in the first place, and Y was just a distraction
>I kinda thought so as well 6 months ago but I've tried to put my mind off of it
>not even sure if I want her any more
I definitely love her in the familiarity sense of the word.
I'm not sure if I should sacrifice that love to the shrine of awkwardness.
>also X and Y are estranged now because of reasons, Y feels betrayed by X and X is trying to make up, nothing to do with my person
Any help is more than welcome.
And, femanons, if you were X how would you react?
Not a femanon. You said it yourself. You two have been buds for 6 years now. Not lovers, not dating, buds. There is no relationship, never was a relationship, never will be. Just because you failed at being "just a friend" doesn't mean the feeling is mutual all of a sudden.
And judging from your "I already picked up the hint, just tried a few tricks, was just me grasping at straws" comment, I'll preemptively tell you that no, you can't convince someone to fall for you.
>>17274159
You missed the point.
>I already picked up the hint, just tried a few tricks, was just me grasping at straws
That was with Y, not X.
>never was a relationship
never claimed there was
>>17274159
>>17274141
Oh, fuck, I just realised.
Made an oopsie with the wording.
>snap, delude myself into thinking Y is the best woman in the world
Better, that might clear things up.
My gf, 21 years old, will soon commit suicide. We've been together for 3 months. It's my first relationship (I'm 23). She has a plan, but refused to give me details. I can't intervene ASAP because I live 3 hours by public transport (and I have no drivers' licence). I tried telling her best friend but, even after they talked, it didn't work: my girlfriend told me she'll kill herself quicker if I tell her again. She has 3 close male friends but I don't have their numbers. 2 seem to be nice. One of them, in particular, is the last reason why we argued.
This guy, who she thinks is a close friend, asked her, as a bet while playing cards, for blowjobs and to show her tits. She did the latter, while I was on a trip to Holland (I'm in Italy). He mocked me when I told him I would go beat him up and insinuated I am gay. Lastly, he also told her I will cheat on her and I already have. He is at least the 3rd person last month to tell her this, and none of these people know me personally or have ever spoken to me. I told her, as there have been loads of problems, to not see him again, speak to him or else I quit her.
I can't tell her mother, who lives with her, as she's crazyl and regularly insults and treats her like shit. I can't tell her father as he's a cheater and she despises him. Her stepfather is an idiot who tells her she's a whore, egocentric and deserves to be cheated on (he told the last thing behind my back). I tried sending her to a psychologist but they told her her depression is "normal" given the situation and she doesn't need to be seen again. I tried listening to her, filling her with compliments, being really nice, being rad honest, tried to get her a hobby, tried to make her more autonomous. I even went to a shrink just for the sake of her. I'm even ready to marry her and have a family. I was her last hope and she will suicide because I cannot save her.
How do you prevent a person from committing suicide? How do you deal with the suicide of your partner?
Call the police in her area
Call the police. You've done everything you can.
If you think it's going to come to an end soon, have a nice long talk and tell her everything you've wanted to say in case you never see her again. You've only dated her for 3 months. He well-being is not your responsibility nor your burden.
get her help and stay away from psycho girls, you idiot
If you have a great job (financially) with a blooming career, but want to give up on it and just do something easy, how do you convince an employer to hire you?
I just want to basically give up and go back to things like they were 10 years ago when I was folding pants and shit.
I'm assuming you're able to handle the massive decrease in pay.
All you gotta do is remove jobs and qualifications from your resume and turn it in. Literally dumbing it down.
>>17274104
Maybe, maybe not financially. I would probably have to sell my house and shit.
How do you explain a gap in history if you do that?
>>17274107
>selling house
That's the dumbest plan I've ever heard
