Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 421. page
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Hey anon,
I used to casually date this girl last year but hooked up with her friend at a party when I was drunk. We/she went NC for a year before we started talking again. I found out she started dating an acquaintance of mine last year. She says she wants to be friends again and will call me her "best friend" and her "day 1" occasionally. Despite this, she's extremely touchy with me and we ended up cuddling for a bit after a kickback. She was also holding my hand. What are these contradicting signs? Am I friendzoned anon?
Bump, please help me /adv/
She's leading you on.
>>17271163
What makes you think that? Curious about reasoning
Hey guys. I'm going to probably be dropping acid with my best friend in like 2 weeks and I just wanna know if I should do it or not?
I'm a fairly healthy person. I don't suffer from depression, but I can feel pretty anxious at times but I guess everyone does. However, I'm pretty OCD with some things.
Let me know your experiences and if I do it, how much I should take and how to get the best experience!
Thanks :-)
p.s i've only been drunk and high (off dat marijuanna) once, jsut incase that makes any difference
psychedelics can be pretty unpredictable, you have very good chances of getting into a good place and having a really amazing experience. but there's also a relatively small chance that you'll get paranoid or bummed out about something and have a shitty time.
Depending on what you liek to do and how much you take, different things will be more or less fun. if you take a half dose or a single dose then you'll probably be able to play videogames, watch movies, go for walks, sit around with mates and laugh at all the dumb stuff you're seeing/thinking without too much trouble. if you take more than that, you'll just want to do very basic shit like look at a piece of crinkled up tinfoil for hours on end, or listen to minimal techno on headphones. if you take a LOT more than that you'll probably want to be lying in bed in a fucking dark quiet room, because some shit will definitely be going down in your sensorium that you'll have trouble dealing with even with very little environmental stimulus.
and if you get unlucky and have a shitty trip, just remember it's all in your head and after 8-12 hours you'll be over it.
If you, as you say, don't have fair experience with altered states of conscience, the start of the trip might see overwhelming. Anxiety will surely set on but it will fade away. Acid comes and goes in waves, in the sense that you will have an oscillating experience of feeling euphoric and seeing weird shit and suddenly feeling almost sober. This can grind you. You might want to consider a low dose. Find stuff to do while tripping. Bond with whoever you encounter. Remember, if the shit goes down, you won't die, you won't go crazy, and it will be over in a few hours.
Hey guys, I know this is probably really basic, but I want some advice on how to become better friends with people. Pretty much everyone I know aside from one friend who for some reason has really made an effort and now considers us to be super close, is just an acquaintance to me.
So I have a friend who I've known for about 4 years, met her at a con. She invited me to hang out at a cosplay meet with her friends and I went to that a few times, but I don't feel like I ever got to know her that well or move past the acquaintance/mates stage. She came to hang out with me and my friends for day/overnight and we roomed together, so she's comfortable enough with me.
The regular meets stopped and because of the distance, it's been about 3 years since we hung out. We were never really chatting either inbetween meets. She's mentioned it before that we should hang out again and I happened to be commenting on a post of hers the other day.
So we ended up hanging out yesterday with her and a few of her other friends. I gave her a lift home so we got a chance to be together and chat for a bit and it felt good, but I don't want it to die there.
I'd really like to get chatting to her regularly online inbetween hanging out (because we'll probably only be able to do it every few months I guess).
I feel like after yesterday, this is kind of an opportunity for a fresh start. Ie it's not awkward like messaging someone after a few years and trying to get chatting.
So how do I get to a point where we are chatting regularly? With my other friend it just kind of happened. I guess she made it happen and I went along with it and we chat daily. I'd like that with this other friend and to become close with her, maybe even a relationship.
So, is becoming close friends something that just happens or do you have to kind of make it happen?
>>17271121
The answer is buried in your question. You praise the friend who really made an effort, and yet you give little indication that you have done anything to reach out to the new girl. She invited you, you "ended up hanging out" and so on.
It can't all be one-sided. You have to initiate things. You have to sometimes be the one who phones/messages/texts first. You have to be the one to invite her places.
>>17271136
Thanks, I guess I didn't realise it before. I want to message her and chat but I always feel like I'm bothering people or they don't really want to chat so that's what puts me off.
If we can get to a point where we are talking regularly things would be so much easier, but it's that initial thing of finding an excuse to message her in the first place then keeping her engaged when she's likely got long term friends also competing for her attention.
stop fapping
Hey, could you help me estimate if I'll ever be a guy with a chance for successful relationship? So far it seemed that all my girls were either ones who have seen opportunity to stick to me when the knew little of me and quickly get dissatisfied with me in the longer run.
I am enough fuckable to attract girls without hitting on them but I don't seem to have much of a personality or guts to keep them interested. Nor I want to fret for them pretending I'm someone else that I'm not.
I have a pretty decent job and a flat so I'm not a NEET, but...
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>>17271119
Yeah but i am not a virgin anymore and have a child. Still wanna?
>>17271128
Ok, so you say a MILF would take that.
Kinda makes sense since I'm not a big adventure for the young girls, maybe that's a thing to look for, dunno.
>>17271143
I am fucking 19 years old lol what are you talking about wtf
>be me
>28 yo
>gf is 26
>be togehter for 2 years now
>be happy with her
>vice versa
>plan to marry and have kids within the next 3 years
>have much lower sexdrive than her
>the operative word is sex
>once per week would be enough for me
>she'd...
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>>17271114
Holy shit you are me except for bisexual part.
My cheated on me a month before wedding in my case, better stay alert man.
Those damn bitches.
>>17271114
Mismatched sex drives are not uncommon, though a little more common with the guy wanting more. Your bisexuality is not really relevant, though your masturbating is. It suggests that what you're really put off by is the whole extended process of lovemaking.
Talk it over with her. Maybe not every lovemaking session has to be the full adventure. Maybe she'd be happy with an occasional quickie between the big events, and maybe you can bypass the occasional wank to slip her one.
>>17271123
I don't think she'd cheat on me. I don't even think she would have sex with another man even if she had my aproval.
>>17271129
>Maybe she'd be happy with an occasional quickie between the big events, and maybe you can bypass the occasional wank to slip her one.
I did that and she was happy with it indeed. But its just so hard to brace myself up for sex.. Its just exhausting, it doesn't feel as...
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So /adv/,
I'm young, 23 years old, at the age where you should fuck and fuck and fuck and fuck with girls. I'm good looking, and since the breakup I had with my girlfriend I've been having a few one night stands, but no serious relationship since yet. I haven't encountered no one else I wanted to spend more than 3 hours with.
So lately I'm not having much sex, and I don't know if it's my problem or what. Because you should know one thing about me: I really don't stand bullshit.
I'll tell you what happened the...
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>>17271104
So basically I feel conflicted. I feel like we're all under this preassure to just fuck and fuck and fuck, and what can I sex is great and as cliche as it sounds I wouldn't want to get serious again until I have enjoyed my freedom. But shit, sometimes you see people going through so much bullshit just to lay pipe I feel that's unnecessary, a waste of time. So I didn't do it. I was there to have fun. She wanted a piece of me, but also wanted to waste my time so fucking much, I didn't left...
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Fuck you, You made the most manly and excellent decision of ignoring her bullshit, and pursuing what you believe will make you happy.
If you wanna fuck a girl do it with one who isn't super clingy. Since she's super clingy even if you go for your one night strat she may not respect that, and try to tail you for a period of time (between weeks, months or some even years).
You should definitely not regret one standing with people like that who engage in emotional manipulation.
Stand proud, and don't look back OP. You are the man.
P.S.
btw...
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>>17271141
Maybe I know that but I try to avoid thinking about it. I focus on the things I like because I like them, not to attract girls.
You are absolute right, I should be more proud, I feel stupid having made this thread but the thing is that sometimes you end up feeling guilty, even if it's a little, because you didn't got laid that night, because you didn't even tried, even though it was clear that trying it implied to just go through a lot of bullshit that really ain't worth it. You're...
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Recommend me some good literature for improving your writing
>>17271102
>>>>>>>>>lit
>>17271102
Read the modern classics - Hemingway, Fitzgerald, Roth, etc - anyone who would likely be on a college Modern Novel reading list. (You can probably find such a list by exploring a local university's English Department site)
Read for fun, but when you encounter a passage that really impresses you, stop and examine it to see what the author did there.
Read Grendel by John Gardner, then, if you liked it, get The Art of Fiction by the same author. It's basically the creative writing course he taught, put into a book.
Why do I fall in love with strangers?
There's this girl at my workplace who I've fallen head over heels before. Well, not really, because we've haven't exchanged anything more than "Thank you" and "You're welcome." I don't even know her name.
I don't know why I keep thinking about this stranger. It's come to a point where I feel so depressed after work finishes. I feel like a child.
Has anyone experienced anything like this? How can I get over it?
First time posting here. Thanks.
I've had this happen to me. Girl here so you know it's not just a man thing. Learn from me and just don't tell her. I opened up a huge can of worms by confessing to a young man that I had been admiring him for like half a year by now, and had feels for him. Just silently admire from afar
But he's so damn handsome. Just the other day I was in proximity to him and I thought, oh god he smells like old spice. He smells wonderful. Hnng. But I walked by and didn't cause any confrontations
How much do your schedules sync up together? How much...
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>>17271088
>Has anyone experienced anything like this?
For sure.
>Why do I fall in love with strangers?
You don't. You become infatuated with them, because they are physically attractive, and because you don't know them, which makes it very easy to imagine them having exactly the sort of personality and behavior that you want in a partner. If you got to know them, you either would experience a loss as the person they actually were...
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Thanks for the replies.
>>17271097
>How much do your schedules sync up together?
We work in a warehouse, work on the same days, but work in different departments. I'd see her a couple times a day, with each encounter being about 5 minutes. It's mostly just her passing by me, and going about her own business.
>>17271355
>By getting to know her
I wish I could, but I find it difficult...
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Should i cover this up when I'm at work? I work at a supermarket
>>17271084
Bedbug?
>>17271089
Nah some weird contagious rash. Got it as a kid from a coldsore my grandma had on her lip. She didnt want to kiss me on the face so she kissed me on my arm
>>17271116
Your grandmother was a whore?
Problem is, I dont have one. atleast not one that she would like to know
She talks about telling her something I wouldnt tell anyone, I know she wants to get off of it.and no, she doesnt want to know about my past relations, shes clear on that.
Im okay with making shit up, but I still dont know what to tell her, pls HALP
>>17271027
You stole like 5 bucks from work or some petty crime
Tell her something disturbing you've jerked off to
>>17271041
Don't do that
i'll try to make it as short as possible
last year i met a girl and we fell in love head over heels, i would sleep over at her apartment once a week (she is an immigrant and lived alone) but almost every week we had a fight over something stupid, mostly because she used to check my phone without permission.
after half a year together we decided to move in together, i had a lot of doubts but its impossible to live at one of my parent's house.
she takes extremely good care of me, cleans the house, makes me food and treats me like im a king most of the time,...
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gross. bite the bullet and break up with her. she will find someone that will love her more than you ever could. you're just wasting her time.
>>17271025
Dude! You have a girl most guys on this board would die for! Of course you're going to fight couples do that ( atleast i think they do. Grew up parents fighting a lot, but theyre still together) all you can do is suppress those feelings and love this amazing girl you have.
>>17271055
she is very volatile, she treats me very well most of the time but every now and then she completely explodes over ridiculous things
she got angry one time because i came home late from my studies (i honestly was just at college doing my homework because it has a quiet library)
she started shouting and hitting me while saying im not a man etc... she even broke the birthday present she made for me, all my feelings started vanishing at this very moment
So hey /adv/ I'm in a shit situation right now... So awhile back my best friend broke up with his girlfriend... Anyways I kinda liked her and soon we started to see each other. Not officially dating but pretty much. Anyways I was gonna ask her later today if we could actually be together. I like her, she's told me she likes me, so no problem there. Yesterday a friend (not best friend) started asking if me and girl were a thing. I told the truth that I did like girl. Well friend then tells me basically I should stay friends with the girl because I could possibly lose...
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They broke up btw because they just got disinterested with each other, and kinda just stopped talking
best friend should respect the fact they broke up and you were there on the rebound, so now she's yo gurl
also, if he wants the best for the girl, should actually be happy she's with his best friend (op) now and not some random cunt
>>17271028
That was what I was thinking but the other friend just kept telling me how I'd piss off best friend... Honestly why the fuck should he care, he broke up with her.
This may be out of topic but I feel it can help people
What is it? It is yoga. http://pinklotus.org/
What can it do for you? Any thing and every thing. It transforms you, gives you energy, Vitalizes.
Try it out
How nice that you've discovered yoga.
Are you /fit/ tier or /x/ tier?
So here is my situation.
>I just came home from college and hanging out with some old friends.
>Go over to one's place, and he has a hot new girl, but she's not the first friend's gf I've been attracted to.
>Usually it's easy to ignore, but we are talking a lot and she is actually really interesting.
>My friend is mostly just focused on his phone texting it's kinda strange but what ever.
>Eventually I find out they have decided to go open with their relationship, and my buddy is texting the girl he is banging.
>One time she gets my number and tells me they want to hang out, but my friend is at work for a few hours.
>She says come over whenever, and when I do she is in her underwear and a tank top nips shining through
>We also went to a local brewery once together, and she tells me it's nice to get out because my buddy doesn't drink.
There's the back story. I'm not ugly or sexually/relationship deprived just taking it easy right now, and it's a small town. I've just never been in this situation. I want to fuck her for sure, but my friend is a tad unstable I feel and I don't want to screw up our dynamic. I just can't stop thinking about it, and I feel like there's an elephant in the room when we hang out. Should I bring it up to her next time we hang out or is that uncouth?
If the friend said the relationship is open, and he's texting some other broad, then he shouldn't have an issue. If he does he's fucking retarded and you probably shouldn't associate with him anyway.
Indicate to her that you're interested in her (physical contact, holding her gaze, etc.), see what she does. If she reciprocates bring it up then fuck the shit out of her.
Bonus points for breaking them up
>>17270955
Oy blin. You're in a tight spot. I wouldn't bring it up because of possible back slash from the gf or its a test of friendship. Let her come on to you before you go barking up the wrong tree
>>17270966
Kek at breaking them up. The worst thing is I feel we might be a better match, and I have this cognitive dissidents on breaking them up. My friend is a bit of a roider, and he has already said some disturbingly hostile things. It's very fucking interesting man.
I cheated on my abusive husband by emailing an ex (he initiated the emails, but I encouraged him while not explaining I was married) and planning to get back together with him. I was going to leave right away, not do shit behind my spouse's back (the email exchange lasted 3 days before I made up my mind), but it was still cheating and wrong. His behaviour since finding out has been psychotic and scary. The email ex found out I had lied by omission and wants nothing to do with me. I'm leaving in a couple of weeks and probably just going to be living with my family looking...
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i just have one question
why do you still stay in such an abusive relationship and then just wait for another man to be with while you are still with first one?
dont you women know how to be alone and independent?
>>17270945
Well, I've actually been fantasizing about living alone in a concrete underground bunker where nobody could disturb me for over a year. I tried to break up with my husband several times, but I am financially dependent on him (can't get job, waiting for visa approval) and I lied to my parents and said I went abroad for a legit job. He did initially "hire" me and promise to pay me, but then it became a relationship and I accepted the fact I wasn't going to be paid. Every time I tried to...
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>>17270957
Like... it's really funny, I came here in an attempt to be independent. So I could live somewhere other than with my parents, leeching off them, and make money (it was suggested I'd make $400/week with free room and board, so I could have saved up $30,000 by now if he had actually delivered). But then, it became this. Fucking hilarious really.
