Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 422. page
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Why do I immediately lose my erection when I escalate with this girl?
I'm 23 and a virgin so I'm pretty inexperienced, but recently I've started seeing this girl. I've always struggled with ED and have had an on/off relationship with Nofap over the past few years and have been to the doc who found nothing wrong with me. I'm certain my problem is more mental than physical.
But whenever I'm just kissing and cuddling this girl I've been seeing I've been alright. I get hard without any problems. However, as soon as we get to third base I just go limp as anything with no chance of getting it up. I feel as though I just lose all interest even though I'm really into this girl and had been turned on by making out with her. I lost my erection when she reached down into my pants the other day which was awkward but I think I managed to play it off.
Just sitting with her in a public space with no chance of sex happening I was fine but whenever I put my hand down her pants I lose it. This is incredibly frustrating.
Got any kinks you can take advantage of?
>>17270906
That is one hell of a cocktail of symptoms. If I were you I'd keep talking to your doc and try to get Vigara
>>17270913
What do you mean? I've got some Cialis for a rainy day but I think the issue is a psychological one. What's weird is that when I'm taking this girl out, walking with her, cuddling at a bench I'm turned on and really into her. I mean, I left with blue balls the last time I met her. But as soon as we went somewhere quieter and I started fingering her my interest went out the window. I think I was too focused on my erection and started getting nervous.
I fell in love with a girl who told me when we met that she had a two years relationship with a girl and that they broke up last summer.
In the last couple of months we've became the best of friends and I don't know how to approach her and open up to her with my feelings. We spend all the time we can together, we hang out and go out every day, we've tried acid for the first time in our lives together. I don't want to destroy our friendship but I feel like there will be no better SO I could be in relationship with. She's just perfect for me.
How to go about in this situation?
>>17270876
Tell her puss cake. Anytime or any place
>>17270891
But will we be able to sustain the friendship after that? I feel like she trusts me and that'd destroy the fuck outta it.
help
My current prescription for nearsightedness is around -8.00. I got this prescription about a year or so ago. I really need help before I go blind; what should I do? As of right now, LASIK and other types of eye surgery are a bit out of reach as I'm a fresh highschool graduate with no current income.
>>17270873
Unless you have a medical condition its impossible to go blind. Unless you spend your days glaring at the sun or staring into a flashlight. Im semi blind in my right eye genetically and my eyesight hasn't changed in my 19 years of living
You also can't get laser eye surgery if your prescription hasn't stablised. Given your age, it's unlikely it has.
>>17270880
Well, I started wearing glasses in the second grade and it's gotten to the point where I'll be legally blind in a few years. And it seems to only get worse as the days go by.
>Be me, 25, athletic build, 6'1
>Girl I like is 20, gorgeous short
>we work together
>we dated for a week and broke up because "she has higher priorities"
>we still talk and hang out a little bit
>she likes literally everything about me and I'm the only guy she doesn't mind touching her body.
>She is absolutely still attracted to me
>She has massive trust issues/afraid of men.
>She admits that I'm the best guy she's ever met and have all of the qualities a girl could ever want.
Issue: I cannot stop thinking about her, I got emotionally invested in her and now I want her so bad it kills me.
Obviously, I could be chasing the dragon on this one. Maybe I'm still trying to grasp that which is lost.
Question: Is it possible she was just afraid and needs more time? Is it possible that with the right wooing I can get her to see through the insecurity and date me?
Don't get me wrong, I see that it might just be the end, but I don't want to give up on her, I'm willing to walk into fire for her. Perhaps I'm being a bit obsessive? I'm not pissed I didn't get my dick wet, I genuinely care for her as a person, I don't want to say I love her, but my feelings for her never faded and they just get stronger.
Wat do? Abandon ship? Give time?
Also: No, I don't have autism.
Any help appreciated.
>>17270865
Stop obsessing over her and bail....
>>17270867
why bail?
I don't see a reason to bail. I ultimately believe if she can overcome her fear of.. whatever it is (abuse) that she would want to actually take that chance again. Is this some sort of obsessive idea I have or is this just a by-product of my feelings?
I just don't want to walk away asking what if.
Should I get a dat boi shirt? Is it too cringey?
The fact that you're even considering it is cringey.
What are you going to say if someone asks you what it means?
"Oh hey anon, interesting shirt, where's it from"
"Oh it's an internet meme, whe-"
"Oh you're one of those people... cya anon"
>>17270845
I take it you don't get out much
Never buy meme clothing. After two months everyone will think you're lame.
Wife cheated on me with a motherfucker. What's a good way to legally destroy him?
Gonna need more information OP, does this guy have a wife/girlfriend?
Yeah he's got a girlfriend, my fucking wife!
But seriously, he's an alcoholic loser with no job, and is destroying her by enabling her alcoholism.
You can't fuck up his professional career, and he's already at rock bottom.
Just divorce your wife, if she's fucking around with other people, she's either done it plenty of times before, or will do it again in the future.
You don't really have any options to destroy him other than kill him or hurt people around him.
Hey so I'm going on this first date with this girl that I've already hooked up with a few times at parties and shit, but this will be the first time we hang alone. I was going to take her to a movie but she's already seen both movies I suggested and all the other movies out are shit. She said she'd go and see either with me anyways, but I'm not sure if I should do that. Should I take her to like mini golf or something instead or what?
Yeah, a movie is not that much of a social activity anyway. Minigolf sounds good... Just relax. That cat is adorable.
>>17270740
I could do a movie first then mini golf.
>>17270768
what's your obsession with movies bro? They're objectively shitty dates.
i"m about to tern 18 and I was thinking about how I'm still a virgin, but then I realized that I've never so much as kissed a girl much less fucked one.
I'm not fat or particularly unattractive (there isn't anything weird about my face or body) and I know guys uglier than me who have at least had girlfriends.
what the fuck?
Enjoy your ban.
Maybe try spelling turn right, girls like smart guys.
>>17270698
What have you done to get a girl? you're not entitled to a lay just because you're not weird looking.
Alright, my boyfriend and I have been dating for a year now and we are a pretty good couple. But when it comes to sex its not very good. For me clitoral stimulation hurts.. When I recieeve oral sex it isn't very enjoyable. Everything feels good except when his tounge makes his way towards my clit. It feels like sandpaper and its a overwhelming sensation and it doesn't feel good. I cant orgasam when he gives me oral. He wants me to but i just cant... Is something wrong with me? Can I fix this? Or am I gonna be orgasamless for the rest of my life?..
He needs to stop giving you direct stimultion. He can try rubbing you trough your panties or something
>>17270717
He has and it still isn't the best feeling... I don't understand.
Does vaginal sex not do anything to you? For me clitoral stimulation is no good either. I can only get off with penetration when I'm on top and in terms of oral I prefer the tongue to be spread out entirely and rubbed instead of like pearcing through the labia.
Try different things. Ask him to change techniques. We're all different, don't worry.
While dating or in a relationship, what does one do about fetishes that are either A) something you don't want to try in the bedroom, or B) can't be accomplished?
Alternatively, would you tell someone you were with about your fetishes even though there's nothing that can come of it?
"I'm into _________ in porn/fantasy but it's not something I want to try in real life" "I like _______ in real life and want to try _______"
>>17270654
Okay, but is it worth even saying you're into #1? Why share that?
I know how to say it, but does it do your partner any good to know?
>>17270664
It's an optional way to deepen your bond with them.
I need advice on holding a conversation.
>Girl and I have known each other for about 6 months
>We talk quite a bit in person and I know a decent amount about her life/past
>We don't really share many hobbies
>We both are really busy with school there's not a lot of interesting stuff going on with either of us
>We're not saying but I sense its becoming more and more of a possibility
It's hard holding a conversation. We're both leading pretty boring right now because we're working so much and going to school for long hours. We don't have really any mutual friends and we don't seem to share many topics of knowledge (I know a lot about building, crafting, science, and politics while she knows more about literature, pop culture, music, etc). What are some questions I could ask or whatever to spark a conversation?
1. get them to talk about themselves
2. act interested
3. if you're not interested, ask them questions where you're interested to know the answer
???
profit
>>17270280
But how do I get someone to talk about themselves? I have a difficult time with this.
>>17270297
just ask them anything, it could be for their opinion on something you're interested in
or "how are you feeling right now" etc
After 4 years of complete death grip abd fapping almost daily with no lube after my last girlfriend broke up, I have trouble staying hard. I go soft right as I am about to enter a woman, same with blowjobs. I am uncut and I notice I will also go soft if my foreskin is fully retracted too.
How do I fix myself so I am not a total fuckup? How can I stay hard?
Should I get viagra?
>>17270237
It's almost certainly psychological; performance anxiety. It's self-fulfilling and every man has gone through it at some point. I got some viagra off the silkroad once and it's nice to have on hand when I'm hooking up with a new lady (which gets me nervous), but honestly you just need to stop worrying about it. Enjoy the experience of getting with someone and don't put pressure on yourself.
>>17270385
Thanks anon
>>17270237
No fap is the answer
TL;DR want to marry but still lusting over others, how to cope?
I've been dating this girl for many years. She wants to get married soon and start a family some day, and I do too. I love her, love being with her, think she's one of a kind, she makes my life better, and I think she'd make for a tremendous wife and mom.
However, I have one nagging, very petty issue, and it has to do with her appearance. Many would call her stunning, and I think she is too. But on the sexual side, I wish she were more petite, and that she had bigger boobs. I get really turned on by those aspects in women. My girlfriend doesn't have those, and I'm not as turned on by her as a result. We have a pretty good sex life, but she doesn't turn me on the way some past partners have.
Of course, it would crush her if she knew I had this doubt. What I'm trying to understand if it's a real concern or if it's some perfectionism or avoidance thing, or if I'd regret it later if I acted on it. For instance, if I decided it was a dealbreaker and I broke up with her over it, I mean I can't even picture that, it seems so ludicrous and like a waste of what is probably the love of my life.
When I'm with her, I feel deeply in love, there's not even a shred of doubt there. And yet, whenever I meet someone new, in the back of my mind I always wonder if I should be trying to find someone who hits all the same points my current partner does, but who turns me on more. I feel really petty typing this though as I could never just "replace" my current partner.
What would you do if you were me?
You are a commitment phobe.
>But you are asking the wrong question.
Q=(1-P)
If you marry her you'll be thinking of other people when you have sex.. Forevvvveerrr
>>17270182
?
What's the important question?
Coming out /adv/ and stories!
I am 29, gay and am still in the closet to most people in my life which is starting to really get to me emotionally.
My sister knows i am gay because we lived together in my early 20s and i had a boyfriend who kind of gave it away but I haven't been able to tell anyone else in my family even though i know they will be accepting and have fully supported my gay cousin and other gay family members.
I have left it so long because i live far away from my family and don't see them very often but i really want to come out to them, especially my mother because i know she already knows that i am gay but is just waiting for me to tell her and it will probably mean a lot to her having me tell her myself.
None of my co-workers know and I have lied to them about being straight and 'ex-gf' stories which were all guys that i just replace bf with gf, this will probably be the hardest part because i see them daily and i work in a very male dominated environment where we are all pretty close friends so they might get annoyed that i lied and some might be uncomfortable with a gay guy around.
Does /adv/ have any suggestions for me?
How can i come out and end this constant battle inside myself trying to hide who i am?
Also, if you are LGBT tell me how you came out, what age you were and how you handled negative reactions.
This belongs on /lgbt/ and not /adv/. Go away.
>>17270235
Asking for advice doesn't belong in advice.. i like it here, why don't you go away.
I'm 26 and I haven't had a boyfriend in my entire life. This year I met a boy at my new job, and even though I don't talk to him, I have a crush on him, but being the stalker I am, I discovered recently he has a girlfriend, and well, my heart broke a little. But I feel really bad, because I feel like no one will like me ever. I always think it's because I'm fat and ugly, ultil I see uglier and fatter girls having nice boyfriends. On top of that, I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and I gained weight so I feel terrible with my image. I don't dare to sign in dating sites like tinder or similar because I'm pretty insecure with myself and I'm afraid to get laughed at. I'm even basically afraid of falling in love. Geez.
The answer and solution is fairly simple; lose weight.
>>17270131
This
But on top of it you also need to put yourself out there. Even if you feel insecure about doing it, you really have nothing to lose and can only benefit from doing online dating, talking to boys you see regularly, etc. Also remember that you're probably being harder on yourself than anybody else will be on you.
There's a new girl at my workplace I find pretty attractive, not exactly fat, just overweight. It looks right on her. Plus she has a super cute face. Why not talk to him?
