Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1457. page
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Somehow, I managed to fuck up a pretty sweet deal about a month and a half ago.
Here's the context for my failure:
>20 year old kissless virgin
>have a thing for my best friend's younger sister, jess
>know best friend mark since kindergarten
>still really close, even today
>jess is 17
>chubby and cute af
>became pretty good friends over the last few years
>totally my type
>see her when i'm home from college, because me and my friends always drink at mark's house
>always very flirty with each other
>very obvious to everyone around us
>a while ago i was drunk and i tell mark that i'm into his sister
>he's totally into the idea and says he'd rather i date her than anyone else
>iloveyouman.jpg
>me and his dad are bros too, and he feels the same way
>kinda weird, but it feels good
>thanksgiving this year
>mark and i are drinking with jess and some her friends at their house
>jess leaves the room to go to the bathroom, and her friends start giggling
>"Come on, anon. Just say something!"
>didn't want to make shit weird in front of everyone, but this made me so goddamn happy
>wanted to get her alone to talk to her
>doesn't happen
>3AM, so i've gotta bounce
>long hug good-bye from jess
>about to go to sleep, but i get a text from jess
>"i'm gonna miss you when you're back at school :("
>i ask her if i can take her on a date when i'm back home for my winter break
>she says yes
>winter break is over
>lots of texts and snapchats between asking jess out and going on our date, so there's no way that it was a drunken misunderstanding or something
>have to wait like 2 weeks to go out because she and mark are on vacation with their family
>finally, tonight is the night
>picked her up from her house to go to a thai restaurant nearby
>the drive over is a little awkward
>kind of quiet, because it's weird to be together alone this way
>once the conversation starts, everything feels good
>no uncomfortable silence
>she tells me about the schools she's looking at
Cont.
>i get to hear about some of the stuff going on in her life that i don't normally talk about her with
>she's laughing at all my jokes
>seems genuinely interested in what i have to say
>feels like everything is working out as planned
>i pay the bill without questions from her, so i know that this date was a date
>when i drop her off at her house, i freeze up because i'm a nervous...
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>hang out with mark the saturday before i go back to college
>jess is at their house with her friend
>"Oh, hi, anon"
>she won't even look me in the eye
>i try to talk to her while she's out in the backyard with her dad, but she and her friend leave immediately as i approach the three of them
>whatever
>"She's just not ready for this kind of thing with you, anon. I don't know what to tell you."
>haven't talked to her since that night
It's very obvious, even to me, that she's not interested in going out with me. I'm only bothered by the fact that, now when I go back to Jess and Mark's house to hang out with Mark, things are probably going to be very uncomfortable because of how our date was left off. I'd also really like to know why she feels the way she does. I had every green light imaginable, and we were close before the date, and yet I failed.
Would it be super retarded to try talking to her about all of this? It's been bothering me all this time, because I KNOW that i'm going to see her again, and I KNOW that this is going to come up eventually. I'd rather smooth things over sooner rather than later, and I really want to know what the fuck I did to screw things over. I was so excited that things were all falling perfectly into place, but then I fucked up royally, and I need some closure or something.
What do?
Stop talking to her
So I have been playing an mmo for a couple of months and have joined several guilds. In this most recent one I decided to go on TS just because everyone kept referring to me as male as it always happens so instead of correcting to not sound like an attention whore I just went on TS. Talked with some people. Then talked with the guild leader. By the way this is just some shitty guild, I can get out of it anytime. There are many others. So we have been doing pvp together for a couple of days and we talk normally. I don't even know what he looks like nor he knows what I look...
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>>16863109
I've spent hundreds of days of /played time in various MMOs and why the fuck do you care about what this dude thinks? Especially if it's a guild you don't really plan to stick with.
How does one become more confident & less insecure? I mean in general, not just for romance.
>>16863107
Bump
Write down stuff you like about yourself in a journal. Also write down insecurities and retorts to these insecurities. (ex. I fear that I am dumb but I have a 3.5 gpa) You'll feel like a tool but it does help in the long run if you do it daily or at least once a week.
Learn to catch yourself when you are thinking negatively about yourself. Consider if your thoughts are realistic or rooted in insecurity. This takes practice and is definitely really difficult.
Supportive people in your life who you can speak to who will retort your insecure thoughts also really helps.
>>16863107
Find internal strength by accomplishing tasks or feats that take time, dedication, devotion, hard work. This shows to yourself that you are capable of accomplishment. ex. marathons, mastering something, finishing a degree, getting promoted etc
Don't sell yourself short ever. Be your own greatest advocate.
>go to work
>easy to not think about my ex
>go out with a buddy who's usually with his gf
>easy to not think about my ex
>get home
>can't stop thinking about ex
How do I stop? I can't find something to do every second of every day. Whether I'm making dinner, reading a book, watching a show, I can't help but think about her.
Can't help you op, because I hate myself right now, I don't date.
>be like satou
>apathy and anxiety on the same level as him
>everything is a conspiracy, no wonder
> still no Misaki to teach me
>an hero
Think about it. Feel every feeling. Feel the loneliness, the regret, the anger, the dissapointment, let yourself feel all theese things and let the feelings evolve into better ones. Shoving shit in a box and ignoring it never helped anyone in the Long run. I am two months out of a 3,5 year relationship. And the first thing i did was to allow myself all the emotions that follower. It has led to me being in a state where i can date and party. Ive been sexually active and i manage to feel good about being Me and not the old Us. Its not done overnight. But its necsessary for the healing procsess
State officials have declared that my life is fucked up beyond anything I could do to fix it, so I've been given a free scholarship to a local community college for two to four years. I just have to tell them what I want to major in. The problem is I have absolutely no ambitions, interests, or desires outside of games, television, shitposting, and other internet garbage. All the personality tests and career quizzes report wildly different roles for me since I have no real skills or passions. The only reason I haven't killed myself is because I don't want to make...
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Bump.
I'm in the same boat.
>>16863079
Holy shit just shut your electronics off for a day and go for a run until you can't breathe. Stop doubting yourself based on your own baseless opinion instead of letting life decide whether you can do it or not.
>>16863186
I thought this was a privately chartered vessel. Who let you on my boat?
>>16863196
I don't really see how that's supposed to help. I could try it but I don't understand what this is supposed to accomplish. I'm not doubting myself, I'm sure I could do most things with the proper education and training (besides military or security since they don't want me offing myself on the job) I just don't really know what I want to...
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What would be a good note to keep your parents from thinking it was their fault? I know I'm probably asking for something impossible and they will probably still blame themselves but if I can't keep them from blaming themselves at least I'd try to minimize the effect.
blame someone else you don't like
Say that you raped someone and your guilt has killed you
Why kill youreself ?
>>16863069
I can't blame no one but myself. I feel like if I just turned my mind in autopilot and wrote at free will, I would end up with pages of just ranting about myself and how shit I am.
Not much people outside of my family influence much my life in a way that it'd be believable to blame him/her, so the lie would eventually come up.
I feel like I don't know anybody and I certainly don't trust anybody.
How do you go from shut-in to real person?
If this is your nature, you don't have to change it. Keep in mind that you can be a real person and have friends and still be a shut in.
>>16863063
Consider what would happen if you were to trust someone. What would that feel like? What prevents you from trusting others?
Went on a date with this high school girl (very cute , 18)
I've been reading her bed time stories for a while now. A week or two? Because I had a girlfriend and couldn't touch her
Now, I made a date because I was single, and she acts like an ice cube the whole date, real Debbie downer,
Any way to salvage this?
Also saw some bandages on her wrists so they scares me
>>16863062
I hated the most when people answered a long text with one word.
She sounds retard to me. Run. OP run. Not worth it. She's not interested
>>16863062
b8/8
no one is this autistic
so while you had a gf, you were reading a girl who is in high school...bedtime stories.
She sounds a little unstable but what's with you man why are you messing around with hs girls?
>get a call from the student loans department
>they say I owe 2.3k and that im a year and a half past due
>lost my job two weeks ago
>1.2k dolarinos under my name
>they want the money by tomorrow
what do I do??
They won't let you set up a payment plan?
>>16863060
Step one you don't disclose any of your savings.
Step two you tell them you don't have the money. You ask to pay it back in installments.
They'll likely just ask for 100/mo.
GET A FUCKING JOB.
>Owe several thousand
>Collections department suddenly calling
>WE WANT IT TOMORROW
this is a scam tactic, you twat. They're required to give you multiple weeks formal notice in writing.
I got caught by my ISP downloading and now I am wondering what to do to prevent this from happening again. They just claimed they found me torrenting through my software. I have done some research but am not sure, a VPN seems safe but to pay for something like that really has me considering hard.
Can I just get some advice on what you guys do to prevent getting caught?
>>16863042
To my knowledge just torrenting isn't illegal, though I'm sure someone more knowledgeable could correct me if I'm wrong.
>>16863059
Well it isn't illegal maybe, but they did shutoff my internet
I use a seedbox. It's 10 or 15 a month, but I save so much on media that I'm downloading so it pays for itself.
hey /adv/, I need some help here.
My girlfriend and I have been dating for about a year now. She's beautiful, funny, and really nice. After more dates than I can count, I was pretty sure I knew all about her.
That is, until I learned she was a furry.
And now that I know that she's saving up for a fursuit, I've been feeling pretty uncomfortable whenever she talks about it. I try to be supportive, but I'm really pushing it now.
She's seriously into this. She shows me blogs and YouTube videos on how to make fursuit heads and whatnot. She keeps on making plans with me, and she always mentions wearing a fursuit to wherever we decide to go. She's even told me- in great detail- about a dream she had where she was in a fursuit. Not even last week, she wanted me to buy her a dog collar so she can wear it with her fursuit once she gets it made.
I'm really in love with her, /adv/, and I don't want to break up with her. How do I tell her I don't really like the idea of her wearing a fursuit, at least around me, without her getting mad at me?
The way to not make he'd mad it is to tell her you're uncomfortable with it when she brought it up first. So I vote time traveling.
>>16863039
I hate to be that guy, but are you sure you want to date someone who is potentially into bestiality? Just think it over man, you don't want to get cucked by a dog.
"I'm scatophil accept my fetish. When you're ready to eat my poop tell me."
If no‚
"why would I satisfy your fetish if you cant satisfy mine. You're selfish."
hey guys its been forever since i posted here but i have a question!
So my boss had 2 Ploom model 2 vape pens laying around in the store so just gave them to me since they cost 50 each and they were opened so we couldn't sell it. I took it since it was free and i heard that you can use these pens for weed?
is this true?
these are not like the regular e-vapes, they have little oven things where you put the tobacco in and it vaporizes it. so what if i put weed in it, would it work?
has anyone tried it before?
let me know thanks!!
>>16863022
Those are made FOR weed. Come on man.
>>16863027
not true i think ur thinking about the PAX vaporizer made by ploom. this pen came with cartridges with tobacco filled in it
Why not just try a little bit?
so im from the uk and my water started running yellow.
`ive checked a bunch of sites and it says its usually magnesium dislodged from maintance outside (which is happening)
I really fucking desperately need to clean myself for tomorrow.
All the sites say not to use laundry or drink the water but nothing about bathing.
Is it okay to bathe in this yellow water?
Pic related
ive just realised how disgusting that water looks, jesus christ how could I be considering this
Dude thats free beer
I vote no
That's some Fear Factor level shit right there
I'm a fatty who is gonna try to lose weight. I have big puppies now and I don't want to go down from h cup to a saggy a cup. Is there anything I can do (eat, workout in a certain way) to minimalise loses?
Sperm
>>16862999
No.
It's kinda like dudes that lose weight and have man boobs and extra belly skin. It's just something you need to deal with. I imagine it's possible that working your chest mayyyy help, but probably not with sag. My girlfriend lost about 30 pounds (cause she wanted to, not cause of me, I actually preferred her a little bigger) and she had/has very large breasts. The thing that bugged her the most was her ass. Ass is fixable though, because building those muscles will directly affect roundness...
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Nah. Spot training or special foods that cause fat to be gained or lost in certain places are just a myth.
I doubt you'll see such dramatic change to your tits, though. Heck, you might even lose more weight around your midsection, making your breasts look bigger in comparison in the end.
Alright, here's the thing. I'll try to keep it simple.
I'm not a doctor, so i can't know for sure if this is the case, but there's some stuff that has made me think that my girlfriend is bipolar and i would love some input on the matter.
The main reason being that i dated a bipolar woman in the past. For 1 and a half year. That was rough and all that, and that gave me some insights about the ins and outs of this... and i see some similar patterns in my current gf's and my ex.
She suffers from depression and social anxiety. She...
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It just sounds like depression and you know she already has that. None of that indicates the other half that would make it bipolar disorder.
>>16862994
How old are the both of you?
Bipolar people have phases that last several weeks each.
Manic (hyper, impulsive, prone to vices such as binge eating and drug use) -> Stability, transition -> Depression -> Stability -> Manic -> Stable -> Depression, and so on and on and on.
Doesn't sound like BPD to me, OP.
