Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1456. page
Images are sometimes not shown due to bandwidth/network limitations. Refreshing the page usually helps.
Question for girls dating older guys; what's with the whole wanting to show you things they believe you don't know about? It seems a bit prevalent in my relationship. I'm 22 and he's 28. I'm trying to put this in the best terms possible..like, for example, he's obsessed with getting me to watch Back to the Future with him. It was an alright movie, but I'm not from the 80s so the references and jokes don't really do it for me. He has the second one on now and I really have zero interest in it. I can understand being 50/50 on trying to take...
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>16863269
>back to the future
ummm...he's also not from the 80s.
he has interests he wants to share with you
crazy I know
you don't have to love it, just indulge him and watch the movie.
Also this is generally the problem with big age gaps. You can't relate to each other at all
>>16863269
Hey, I'm a divorced M and I plan to ask a mid-20s F to move in with me.
Any tips for me ? Beside vitamin V.
So I got rejected. We saw each other a few times over a couple weeks, and I kinda saw it coming, which is fine, but it's still a bummer. She said the "spark wasn't there," which, yeah, it wasn't really.
My question is: would it be odd if I asked her if I could have done anything differently? Or should I just say "thanks for the honesty," drop it and move on?
>>16863265
Drop and move on.
She's never going to give you a real answer.
You can't do anything to manufacture spark. It's there or it's not.
I've been on plenty dates that were amazingly fun, and where we both enjoyed the heck out of ourselves, but it was obvious there was just no spark.
I've even been pretty bummed at it. Once dated this amazing girl where every time we were together it was a blast and I thought she was super cute and fun, and we saw eachother a few times because of that, but each time just further confirmed what I suspected on our first date, we had absolutely zero romantic chemistry. Kissing...
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
I'm going to tell you this right now: there's nothing you could have done differently. She gave you that answer for a reason, doesn't matter if it was 100% honest. If everyone was honest about these situations a lot of people would probably have fucked up self-esteem, desu.
Just drop it and move on. There will be other women.
Me and my girlfriend that I live with are always fighting. We are always fighting because we are stressed out of our god damn minds over financial matters. I am $300 behind on my power bill, rent comes out tomorrow ($575), I am $400 behind on my cell phone bill, I am $87 behind on my internet bill. I get paid ~$750/bi-weekly from my full time job. I also have to buy us food. How much money do I have? $0 after paying some of the bills to avoid being cut off of things and buying a bit of food. $500 on a credit card available. She works as a waitress as a strip club part time because...
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
Sucking dick for money is almost always an option somewhere
Why is your power bill so high?
Turn off the heater, turn off your computer when you aren't home. Don't use oven/ or anything electronically intensive from 4-7 pm
If you don't need internet for job, cut it off. It's a luxury, not a necessity. Go bum off mcdonalds and starbucks for your internet needs.
Your cell bill is also outrageous. More than my parents pay for 5 people
These numbers don't make sense to me. Break down your budget completely. I want to see itemized shit.
Reduce your spending (don't buy shit you can't afford)
Your debt isn't that bad. You can take out a loan and pay it off, but it will only come back again.
Find a cheaper place to live, get rid of things you don't absolutely need (cable, house phone, etc) and make sure you're not wasting anything. Unplug appliances when not in use, unplug cellphone chargers, etc.
As for your gf, just try to avoid making it worse. Maybe get some weed and smoke a joint with her. It's hard to unwind your emotions while sober.
So this qt grill I'm good friends with, who I've been told likes me, is very friendly with me in person, often approaches me first, etc. We make sexual innuendos together about Clash of Clans. "Hey wanna look at my cock? (COC kek)" Everything's really great, except she almost never responds to texts. It perplexes me, although she is a pretty busy girl. She's a petite brunette and a huge Star Wars fan like me, and I'm worried that she's just tryna be nice.
Then ask her out.
(also face palm at COC "innuendo"... step it up son, you must be 18+ to post here).
>>16863255
It's sorta like sarcastically giggling at someone saying "but" as if you were a squeaker. Not really a serious attempt at humor. But thanks for the insight.
My throat hurts so goddamn much.
I've gone through a whole pack of strepsils and bought a numbing gargle and it's still like 8/10 on the pain scale.
How do I get rid of this? It's ruining my life I was meant to be getting KFC today. Shit.
>>16863245
Stop sucking dick.
Are the lymph nodes in your neck swollen?
>>16863299
I think so, i'm not sure what im looking for
I have a test tomorrow? what's the best way to study? How do I not get distracted? (yes, i'm going to turn my phone and the pc off) The test is very important, I don't think it is going to be too hard because I enjoyed the subject but I'm nervous, pls help-
literally memorize the terms and definitions and drill them so far into your skull you see them in your sleep. it's terrible advice cause you're not gonna remember it a year from now but it works wonders for me
if the test is tomorrow, you're fucked. Cramming doesn't work. Anxiety will make you worse and forget things. But hey, not the end of the world right?
>tfw I've been studying for over a week for a test I take Thursday. If I pass I get a promotion, if I fail (less than 72%) I potentially get fired. Test is designed to trick people and confuse them
>>16863229
One night before is too late. All you can do now is learn your lesson and move on.
>>16863252
>Cramming doesn't work
It does work, just not in a single night.
Sup /adv/.
I'm a pretty awkward person, someone who is so awkward that I can hardly talk to people outside my small group of friends. I currently can't even imagine myself in a relationship. I'm horrible at making new friends and I usually spend my nights alone. How can I get over this?
Will forcing myself to chat it up on Tinder help?
>>16863212
Challenging yourself with scenerios that address your trepidation will help desensitize you, yes. So if you feel Tinder is a good venue for that then go for it.
NOOT NOOT
>>16863212
Maybe Tinder isn't the best place to start...try OK Cupid if you want a relationship and not just a hookup...or a conversation that lasts longer than 2 minutes
So I have a problem with sleeping.
I hate sleep and i believe its a waste of time but it goes a step further. Going to sleep alone feels like I am tip toeing in and out of death, every fucking day its feels like i die and get brought back the next morning.
So I am either so exhausted that i have no choice or I sleep with my girlfriend when its possible. The rest of the time I have a huge problem. while I was in high school i was usually in my phone until i fell asleep , music also used to help but not anymore. Now i got into university and I really have to sleep, help /adv/
>>16863210
Sounds like this might be an emotional/mental thing. Seek therapy. If you can't afford it now, seek counseling when you get to university (though you should get help sooner rather than later--this will only get worse with age/cost you more down the line).
Sincerely wishing you the best OP. I totally relate.
Ever talk to a doctor about it?
Things that I have used in the past: valerian root, chamomile tea, passionflower tea, melatonin, tylenol PM, benedryl
F.lux for your computer also helps a lot if you have a computer addiction like me.
You can also combine these, just be careful not to do too much otherwise you'll have trouble breathing at night.
I hate sleep. I love sleep.
I don't want to sleep because I could be using that time to do things I need to.
The thought of losing time just to sleep makes me angry.
I can't deny its role in our well being but I don't have enough time in a day to do everything I need to.
If I didn't have to sleep, I wouldn't.
I'm thinking of breaking up with my gf of 2 years because of some texts I read today, and would like advice as to whether I'm overreacting or not. My gf and I were hanging out as usual and she wanted me to send a text to her friend, so I did, but then I scrolled up on a whim and read some things that felt like burning knives through my abdomen:
>god I've been thinking about [celebrity crush] and keep getting wet it's becoming a serious issue
>I had a dream that we were getting married, but then I...
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>16863187
Deff break up.
Don't give her a reason though. If you want to be a real asshole you can be like "I got a date with someone I like more so I can't be your BF anymore"
>>16863187
Break up with her using her own words near enough;
>"I'm breaking up with you because I had a dream that I was gettin' married to MUHrina, and then I woke up to my boring life with you and wanted to cry."
That's how it's done.
>>16863206
This. By all means this. And you better fucking deliver, OP.
I am 21 and had one boyfriend in my life. There is a guy who flirted with me but I told him I have a boyfriend. He was disappointed but very nice.
I think he could tell I was attracted to him but I felt bad for talking to him.
Anyway, my boyfriend and I broke up (not because of the guy...) and I've been taking my time to heal, go to the gym, meditate, etc.
I still think about the guy sometimes, but not sure how to start things with him. How to let him know I am single now? Is it a good idea to date someone after I "rejected" them?
Also,...
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>16863167
My professor of biochem smokes weed. Its nothing but a diciline game with weed.
If you have no will power you will be lazy. It don't mean all stoners are lazy.
>>16863170
Hmm... That's something I haven't thought about, thanks. I guess I should get to know him better to know for sure.
So a close friend of mine bought me some lunch today and I thanked her by telling her "thanks man" and patting her back. She looked somewhat offended right after I said that and told me she felt like I friendzoned her.
Does this mean anything? Does she want me to make a move on her or is she joking around and I'm just overthinking this?
>>16863160
?? The "friend zone" is only a thing if one of the people likes another person romantically.
Does she like you??? Maybe she thought you guys were an item??
I would never say something like that to one of my guy friends because I expect to be in the friendzone bc I AM a friend
>>16863202
I agree with this poster. I mean, why would she use the term "friendzone"? Which begs the question, do you like her?
>>16863202
>>16863205
She jokes around a lot which is the only reason why I can think she used that term. She is really cute and I do like her but I doubted that she did, which is why I never pursued anything.
So /adv/ I have a bit of a dilemma. I been with this girl for like 3 years. Didn't really plan on being with her that long, was meant to be a one night fuck. Well me being too nice wanting to keep getting laid next thing ya know we got a house together. I can hold my own alone but it's much easier with her. I still don't even feel I love her like I have other people more like we're good friends who fuck now and than and share the same bed. We don't even really have a damn thing in common. We're complete opposites and the only time we don't...
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
When you've dumped a lot of time into someone, sticking with it can seem like the smarter thing, however it sounds like you're just wasting your time with her. Nothing in common and constantly fighting? Drop her. It's not even a matter of a choice between two different relationships, the one you're in now is toxic to you.
You should pursue the girl you like. Even if it doesn't work out you're probably better off without your current gf.
>>16863155
I have made it a point to only date when the girl is more invested than I am. I know I will get a lot of shit for this, but once you've been hurt badly enough you start developing what I call "life insurance". Whatever the outcome you won't get hurt, because you didn't really care.
You could have "life insurance" with the first girl. Just my two cents.
>>16863169
>>16863166
Dubs checked, and thanks guys. It's a hard choice to make cuz I do get a lot out of it. And it really is toxic. I'm always on eggshells waiting for her to freak out, sex is almost nauseating as its just fuck her til she cums that's it, haven't got head in like 2 years.
Im 24 I think it's time to move on and live my life. Thanks guys you made this much easier and I feel less guilty now
/adv/ could anyone help me a bit? For the first time in my life a 9/10 is interested in me and yet, I, being the faggot that I am, am sperging out.
I mean, I always complained about us having to make the first move and then, the second a beautiful girl shows interest in me I sperg out.
Motherfucker, what the fuck is wrong with me? I have had girlfriends, I have friends but it's always me doing the chase. Now, for the first time a girl does the chasing and I fucking sperg out.
She asked me out and I declined saying that I already had plans but that I...
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
Shameless self bump
Sup /adv/.
So living out my life I feel like a ghost. I mostly ignore people, and people seem to ignore me. It's not like I'm socially inept, however I do not actively seek social interactions, and people generally don't try to seek me out. However I do have a group of tightly knit friends. I have been called intimidating before, and generally see myself as a stoic, yet comical individual. I would like to see myself meet new people, and experience new interactions in my life. Should I self examine my personality, and perhaps seek to change it ? Have any...
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
I used to be the type of person that wondered why the fuck I don't have friends considering how well rounded I am. Then I realized that I just have trust issues.
I started to put myself out there more by initiating conversation with ppl and noticed the world wasn't as bad as I thought it was. Ppl tend to be warm and receptive of me.
Be you! Don't change your personality! Whoever doesn't agree with it can fuck off. Also, if any introspection is needed, the feedback from others really helps.
Today is my birthday. I am 28 years old.
You know what's weird? I used to have this great desire to lose my virginity back in the day when I was a teenager and in my early twenties. But now I don't even care.
I realize I am going to be a wizard soon and I don't really find any reason to get out of my way learning pick up and then meeting girls to try again to get laid.
Is this weird? Am I going to wake up one day realising I wasted all my life away and jump from a building?
My sex drive died around the age of 22.
Then again it died after I got chlamydia, so maybe it's that.
>>16863126
>Is this weird? Am I going to wake up one day realising I wasted all my life away and jump from a building?
Is it unheard of? No. Is it outside of normal human behavior? Yes. People generally want to have sex.
I think you'll wake up one day and feel a sense of nothing and generalized loss. I say nothing because you don't know what you're missing. You can't miss what you don't know, but you will know you've missed something.
Sex is worth...
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>16863131
lol
I still have a sex drive though. It's just that when I feel horny I just masturbate and get it over with.
