Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1460. page
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I'm a 24 male college drop out.
Have an interview this week for a full time position.
Where i live i can get by somewhat okay with 18k a year and also i live somewhat low key so i dont really need too much.
Anyways, ive been living somewhat of a neet life style.
Never had a period where i wasnt working but its always been a dead end part time job. I oay my own car insurance and phone bills but rest have been my parents.
Part of me (or is it years of my korean parents mindset) thinks its not a good idea to move out if i dont have a career or at least a career that im working towards. I honestly dont know what i want to be doing - coding (so meme right guys) has been in my mind since i want to be flexible with the hours i work and stuff but i stopped after html/css. Although this possible position will give me benefits and rrsp matching and possibility of promotion.
But i also think that i need to move out and put this hard work in as im already late in that regard and by doing this ill be more forced to find and work on something in my free time.
Honestly i want to move out since i want to experience having more freedom and privacy and being able to have girls over and stuff like that. Fyi - average socially and i gym consistently.
I think i need to do this and am just scared to make this 40 hr week step.
I feel like if i dont move out ill try to find my ways to say im working towards something to my parents and just smoke weed and live almost like a neet.
Udacity.com front-end Web developer. $200 a month. Takes 6 to 9 months
40 hours a week is completely possible. And seeing as you dont have any other mandatory time sinks u can still do alot with your time. Money will be tight but you can afford a couple classes a semester and still have some leftover cash to club or bar a couple times a month. Recomend just moving out, trying it with just work till fall smester and then trying a couple classes. The large amiunt of time at work is great for the social life, and coworkers (especially the chicks) will think your awesome for doing school. Social life will slow down during school semester due to time constraints but it just makes the time you spend with people on your free time more special. Just do it, you will be happy you did.
i can speak relatively fine when i'm at ease, or even with a bit of pressure on me. but today i had a presentation that i thought i was gonna do totally fine in, but ended up being the shittiest presenter in class. i'll admit that i was unprepared and banking on my ability to improvise. however this still totally caught be off guard, and although nobody really seemed to mind, it was internally embarrassing. shouldn't a great speaker be able to perform well in any situation?
so, any tips on how to improve my overall speaking ability? i don't mean just for speeches, but also for conversations. my issue seems to be that i sometimes can't get my sentences to come together fast enough. my voice projection is fine. at least i've somewhat learnt to replace the 'um's and the 'uh's with silent pauses.
i was thinking perhaps i could practice speaking in front of the mirror for about an aggregate of 30 mins per day, about any random subject
(btw i speak english as a 2nd language, but i have the same problem in my native language as well, so it's probably an issue with my overall speech processing ability)
Bumping for interest
shouldve probably added a nice title to attract posters
Start arguments with your friends about something dumb like star wars. It'll get the communication flowing through your mind. Just as long as you guys can laugh it off afterwards.
Obviously there won't be hecklers but you want to get to the mental state that if there were, you could verbally take them on. Idk it's kinda hard to explain
Why I'm so afraid that one of my family members dies by cancer or so? My father smokes a lot. What are the chances of die young if you don't smoke or drink lots of alkohol like my bro?
Depends on your habits but the chance is literally a flip of a coin.
You died or lived. It's random. Look at Zyzz. Healthy guy, still dies from some freak heart attack. I know people who are alive at 70 and have smoked daily for more than half a decade.
>>16862528
Zyzz took fucking steroids, get fucked.
>>16862505
There's a website somewhere that asks you questions like smoking and drinking and then predicts your life expectancy. Google-hunt for it.
Hey /adv/ anon here, what are signs that a girl is losing interest over like text etc? Like, she has times where she's really talkative but sometimes it's just dead, i've been lied to a lot in past relationships or just been lied to by girls instead of them telling me they're not interested. So am i just overthinking things? Should I stop worrying and care less?
pic unrelated
Give us some examples because its hard to judge the situation. It could be that you are overthinking things or it could be something else.
>>16862512
Mainly the fact that we used to talk all day everyday, now it's more sparse during the day. It happened since we went on a date on friday. So maybe we've just chilled out a bit now cause i know its exciting talking to someone new and stuff. Probably just me. I get the underlying feeling that im trying to be let down gently.
Is low semen count a sign of infertility?
I don't think i've had a proper ejaculation in my life, it's never been more than a few drops, i used to think it would get better when I got older, but i'm creeping on 20
drink more fluids and stop jerking off so much
Not really. I mean, it can cause fertility problems, but it's usually treatable. What you do mean by a few drops? Are you sure it's actually that unusual, or are you comparing it to the huge ejaculations you sometimes see in porn? What's your typical hydration levels like and how often do you masturbate?
If it turns out to actually be a problem, then do see a doctor, it's likely treatable.
>>16862479
It's that unusual
Imagine it just dribbling out, a little stream that dosen't go halfway past the head
Help /adv/ pls
I went on a few dates with a girl who looks a little like the picture. Things got awkward and now she really hates me. We ocasionally make eye contact but she looks away right after.
Whats the best thing to do? Tryna be alpha as fuck here.
>Things got awkward and now she really hates me.
Why?
>Whats the best thing to do?
Nothing. I don't really see a problem desu.
>>16862463
What'd you do?
>>16862463
beta bro you r not alpha.
ditch this girl. You fucked up some how. It happens. Move on. Worrying about this one girl isn't alpha. Also, she probably doesn't hate you lol. You probably just creeped her out some how. Forget about her. Find a new girl. Find new girls. Learn and grow
dear adv, this has been on my mind quite a while and I decided to finally post this.
I have noticed that I have this really strong attraction to innocent, cute, shy and submissive boys. Not children though, the youngest I'd date is maybe 15? If they are around my age and still so innocent, that really gets me. I love the idea of them being so defenceless, needing protection. Again, nothing with children. I do not want children myself. I'm not interested in those SM child and mom roleplays. I want him to be my boyfriend but I want to be the one who is protective and he is the innocent one.
A friend of mine jokingly said that I'm a pedo, even though we laughed, it has been kinda bothering me. Could my feelings be some form of weird pedophlic
desires?
I'm an 18 y.o female. Obviously never had a boyfriend.
I think this is perfectly fine, OP. Considering that you draw your limit at 15, and you're only 18 is a fine perameter. I am 18M myself, and I am attracted to anyone from 16-20, and I prefer to be submissive myself. You have nothing to worry about.
You may be marginally pedo or sociopathic. Since they tend to want more naïve lovers, they are more easily controlled. Maybe you don't feel control of your life
you're young and are (justifiably) threatened by more "mature" men. There's a reason so many teenage girls are into yaoi/"boys' love"/shota etc. Men can be fucking dangerous so you're not wrong to feel this way imo, but you'll likely find as you get older that your tastes will change naturally. tl;dr don't worry about it too much; you're not a pedo
after how many messages should i ask a girl out on tinder?
>>16862409
No fewer than 273.
Why the fuck are women so bothered by spelling and grammar, yet it's fine for them to write like complete spastics and 13 year old school students, shortening things like "to be honest" into "desu" and shit.
What the fuck is wrong with you, women? Although I have no problem with my spelling and grammar really, this double standard makes me want to literally punch you all in the face.
I'm a male. I don't consider myself a grammar nazi.
If I'm chatting to someone over a form of social media and I see ANY kind of shit like tqh senpai ikhyf, I instantly have a lower opinion of them and view them as someone have a childlike level of intelligence.
You're a fucking adult, speak like one, even in the written form of communication. If you meet a girl that ditches because you type like a retard, then good for her.
I still have no idea what that retarded word desu means as well.
Because you're talking about several different individuals of the female sex.
>>16862394
it's a weeb thing, don't worry about it
Extremely good looking girl in my school,seems to like me(says hi to me every time even tough we dont know eachother and she knew my name before i even knew who she was so it seems to me she has some sort of interest) but when i hit up her facebook she responded as if she didnt give a single shit like took her 10 mins for a response and didnt even try to keep the conversation going,wtf does this mean why is this happening
>>16862379
Talk to her in person.
You basically show her you have no balls by only chatting her on fb.
>>16862401
This.
>she said hi
nigga no
>girl inviting me to everything she's going to
>because she asked for some advice on something I did a year ago and I sent her literally an essay
>said 'goodnight x' at the end of it because I'm just lonely and still recovering from previous breakup
>she is at best 5/10
>ex was easily a 9/10
Does she like me?
Ignorant question.
Yes.
Leave
need more information
/adv/ i have failed a test which seems to be one of the biggest challenges of my carreer and can be life changing.
Now i will have to repeat and pass no matter what.
The exam is in April and the subject is "Theory of Computation". I need some good advice for planning and making the most out of my time.
I have started using a pomodoro timer and i will make a daily schedule.
How to keep concentrated? Should i stick to coffee or do some sports?
>>16862345
>Should i stick to coffee or do some sports?
I like to drink a cup of coffee and I use the pomodoro technique as well. During my break I like to walk around or go outside. I used to take a break by going on the Internet and that was a horrible idea, since I'd stay there forever.
Good luck, anon!
>>16862345
>Should i stick to coffee or do some sports?
Both have their pro's and cons. Coffee gives you a good energy boost, but you build tolerance to it pretty quick, and it can mess with your sleep, meaning you wake up tired the next day, meaning you need to drink coffee just to feel normal. Excercising and keeping fit raises your energy levels which will let you get more done, but ti won't put more hours in to the day - if you spend five hours a week in the gym that's five hours that you're not working on your thesis (or whatever it is you're doing) for.
If you're in to suppliments, gamma labs' g-fuel is about the best energy drink there is. Gives you a really good boost, lasts about 4 hours, doesn't make you jittery like red bull does, and you don't really get the "crash" like you do with regular energy drinks. It's not desperatley expensive either, allthough they're not particularly quick with shipping. Tolerance build up isn't too bad if you stick to one or two a day. I was going through 5-6 scoops a day at one point, and at first I was like superman with the amount I could get done in a day, but after about three weeks I just felt lethargic all the time no matter how much I used. Stopped having it all together when the last tub ran out, and I was absolutley fucked for about a week after that, couldn't go to work or anything, so probably don't use too much of it if you go down that route.
>>16862345
Lost my original window.
#1 Get proper sleep. Most people need a minimum 7 - 9 hours to function well. Forget the people who say they only need 4 hours and can do everything. Find what works for you.
#2 Get exercise. It will help work out your tension and anxiety. Also studies show people actually learn better.
#3 Eat but not to excess. Don't get distracted with weird ass detoxing nonsense or food nazis. You need something to look forward to.
#4 Seek tutoring help ASAP.
#5 ask for help in study skills
#6 Coffee is fine. Despite all the attempts to find something wrong with it, the studies keep saying it's beneficial and even inhibits cancer. Just keep it to 3 - 5 cups a day and don't drink it after 3 PM, perhaps 2 PM, or it will interfere with sleep.
#7 Take breaks every couple of hours. Your brain can only handle so much at once, and you'll need to review the same material to make it stick. Take a walk around the block, find a distraction for 15 minutes. Drink your cup of coffee outside, etc.
#8 At least once a week take a longer break with supportive friends who understand you can't get falling down drunk or stay out until 02:00 AM. You need your sleep. Dammit.
So im in my 3rd year of highschool. Its Math Highschool and its one of the hardest schools in my country,so im pretty good at math and physics,and my interests are in computer science mostly. So,since Croatia doesnt have any top universities(our universities are not even in top 500 in the world) I would like to go study outiside of my country,somewhere in Europe. Keep in mind that my parents make 2k dollars per month together and that they are currently paying for my sisters collage,so I cant go anywhere where it will be expensive.
What country would you recommend me to go?
I would work while studying if i had a chance.Btw any kind of "pay 20k $ for a year " is unthinkable concidering my parents income
I recommend learning how to spell the word "college", before setting your eyes towards higher education.
To make a long story short I've successfully gotten rid of my panic attacks, social anxiety and depression that I suffered from the last 3 years.
Needless to say, these things kept me quite out of the loop while they lasted.
Now I'm free but I'm confused as to where to go from here.
I feel flooded with options.
I just want to know what to do with all these feels. I have so many options in my life now. I can talk to people without much anxiety, I can focus for long periods of time so my grades are going up, I'm helping my family out around the house and I feel like a much better person.
I guess I always just lived in the future, always hustling to do therapy and to get rid of my anxiety that now that I'm out of it, I dunno what to do... I'm actually afraid of the present moment right now.
Can someone give me some advice or just tell me that everything's going to be good?
I dunno if I'm doing well or not. Comparing myself to others was how I gauged myself before but it was a big factor in my always being anxious.
Now how do I rectify my need to have a great life?
I see people with certain talents that I want for multiple reasons: happiness, makes my life easier, more fun and meaningful, but how do I rectify that with accepting myself?
Pic semi-related and cool.
Maybe I'm just looking at this wrong.
I've been given a wonderful opportunity many would literally kill for.
Instead of looking at this as a tragedy, something to fix, to make myself comfortable again and be who I was before I got General Anxiety,
I should look at this like an adventure.
I get to try new things again.
I get to meet new people and try new things again.
I get to feel like an empowered human being again and not like a piece of shit.
My fear of pain and doing things "wrong" is another reason why I was so anxious before.
I mean I'll fuck up and lots of people have fucked up before, sometimes devoting decades of their life to something they end up hating.
So I'm cool.
Day by day, hour by hour, I'll find my niche in this life.
I gotta leave 4Chan and Reddit because these places are toxic to my development.
Also, check out psychiatry and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
Bye senpai.
Every time I'm put in a new social situation I can't make any friends. I never know what to say and feel different from everyone else, powerless like I'm in a dream. Anyone familar with this/tips please?
People want to be friends with people that are cool and fun to be around. If you're a downer all the time out complain, they won't like you. It becomes a downward spiral.
To keep things simple, agree with them a few times verbally. Tell stories that coincide with theirs and preface it with "along what you were saying... Blah blah", these little things can make bigger impacts than you think. It's stupid, but our egos are stupid and easily fooled. You want to play into their ego a bit, so they can play into yours.
Use superlatives a few times but not too many times. " wow this sandwich is the best I've had in a long time " crap like this can push the conversation along. Ask them what the best place to eat for them was.
You don't need to be on point 100%with every response and over analyse everything. It won't come naturally, but you can method act and act cool. Eventually you will start to become cool to be around.
Very familiar with this. I only hang out with people ive always sort of hanged out,i never make new friends cuz i get awkward when around new people and i just dont want to be seen as dumb so i rather shut up than make jokes and have fun like i ususally do. My best advice is alchohol.Not too much,just a small buzz will help u our massively trust me. Then,the problem can be that i meet a girl while kinda buzzed,we have fun and she starts to like me,and when i meet her next time im sober and its awkward,but hey thats another topic all u wanna do is stop being awkward
>>16862356
What the hell, I'm taking this.
