Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1464. page
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I'm almost 31, recently laid off. I've worked construction for a few years and hated it, hard work, garbage pay. I'm thinking I'd like to join the military (Canada-fag BTW) because I'm tired of my friends and family, and would like to be "away" for a while, without them knowing the real reason. Also, I see army boys everywhere here (and women) and they're all fat as fuck, so it must be fairly easy (semi-fit-fag here). Am i too old to join? I haven't run in ages, but I can lift nearly anything. How much running is involved? pushups/etc? What would my first step be?
I should mention, I don't do drugs, used to drink often (like all trades, worked with alchy's) but recently cut down since I get bored when I'm drink with nothing to do, so now its like 1-2 times a month. Also just about to join a gym
Hey /adv/, my fiancee and I have been together for a year, and we've known each other for 4. I know her and trust her very much, but there's one thing that makes me really uneasy. She likes to sleep really close with her friend, and she told me sometimes they even cuddle together. My girlfriend is bisexual, and her friend she cuddles with is straight. I know her friend too, and her friend has a husband who she loves, but I just can't help but be uncomfortable about it. Am I wrong for this? Am I just being overly paranoid? I don't care that my fiancee is bisexual, but just knowing that she is makes me uneasy with this. In spite of this, she has never given me any even slight reason to not trust her, and has always been honest and open with me, even telling me that they cuddle together when she could have easily hid that from me. Any help is appreciated.
If she's so open and honest, why don't you talk to her? If she can't make you feel better about this situation and your relationship then why would you want to marry her?
You say you trust her, but you really don't. You don't trust her or her friend. Why are they even sleeping together? That's just weird. I like women, but I would never dream of cuddling any other person besides my husband. I don't see what she's doing as respectful towards you.
You need to talk to her about uncomfortable it makes you feel. If she's nonchalant about it or gets defensive then that's when you really need to think aboit whether you really want to marry that girl.
>>16861799
>I would never dream of cuddling any other person besides my husband. I don't see what she's doing as respectful towards you.
That's because you're a moron placing your relationship in for his. In OP's relationship, he says that his gf explicitly told him that she was doing this and received permission that he is now unsure whether he wants to walk back. That's was the correct and respectful way by her to do shit like this, so don't mislead OP about his gf's actions.
>>16861434
>Am I being overly paranoid?
Paranoia is irrational fear, so is this fear rational? What exactly are you afraid of happening here? She's going to sleep with her straight bff? That she's going to leave you for her straight bff who has a husband? That she's going to decide that she's fully lesbian?
I don't think any of these things are particularly rational possibilities here, but you have to understand that in a relationship there is an ever-present risk that your partner will leave you, and if you want to obsessively imagine the possible avenues for that occurring, you're going to create mistrust and a toxic atmosphere. (This is why insecurity is so horrible on relationships)
>Dating grill
>Grill is asian, from Korea
>Only been in the states a few years
>Been on 3 dates now, but nothing more than hand holding shit
>Can't tell how warm she is to me, or if shes just fucking with me or something
So 3 dates in 3 weeks (we are both stupidly busy). Usually by the 2nd date with most American girls, I know if I can make a move or not. With this one I don't. She told me this last date we had, that if I showed her my presentation for class, and presented to her she "would consider a kiss for my reward". I jokingly brought it up at the end of the date, after showing her my presentation, she laughed hysterically and said I'd have to wait until next date.
I have no idea whats going on, or if shes toying with me or something. But that is sort of what I feel like. Problem is, there are a few other girls that I sort of put on hold that want me bad, but I'm still trying to see how this pans out.
What do? I don't know if this a cultural thing, taking it this slow, or shes not taking it at all.
You're an American manwhore and she's probably traditional, you should leave her alone.
>>16861441
How am I manwhore because other girls have expressed interest in me? I'm not dating multiple people at once, like I said. I'm solely dating her.
>>16861433
Just ask her "where do you think this relationship is going?". It might not be a bad idea.
My niece (let's call her Emma) texted me this morning (pic related).
Emma is 10.
Her mother is my sister (let's call her Jane), and is engaged to someone (let's call him Jed) whom I personally don't trust;
>Jed's father was abusive
>Jed is in AA (has been sober for 7 years)
>Jed and Jane had a child together a couple of years ago
>>said child is a violent little two year old boy
>Jane and I don't talk much at all about their relationship
A couple of years ago, during the holidays, Emma and Jed were rough-housing (play-fighting) on the porch. Emma said, "Ow, that hurt," to one of Jed's blows. Jed said, "That didn't hurt, comon," and kept going. Emma said, "Yes it did," turned to me and continued, "he hits me Auntie ______." I looked at Jed, and said, "oh, you hit her?" He denied it. It was weird. He's been on my radar since.
Then this happens.
I already called the National Domestic Violence Hotline, to ask how to approach this further and they didn't have shit for advice. Which brings me to you.
I asked Emma for a picture, to 'see if I can't advise how to help the bruising go down.' She said she attempted to send a pic, but her phone was being slow.
I don't like this roundabout bullshit, and I want to ask her straight-up if there's anything going on. Considering bringing up the conversation from the porch (mentioned above) but don't want to scare her off.
I wouldn't try to have this conversation over the phone. When's the next time you're going to see her?
Basically, you need to find a way to bring up the "general" topic that it's never okay for adults to hit children, no matter what they say. And let her know that she can always tell you the truth, and it won't get her in trouble.
If there is abuse happening, the abuser usually tries to "Stockholm" the victim and make them feel like they'd just be causing trouble by bringing it up. You need to find a way to make her feel safe talking to you.
>>16861454
This is part of the issue. We live quite a ways away.
Things have been messy with my family...for reasons I will not get into. tl;dr I separated myself from them this past year, as it was difficult to be around them (in short, they don't love life).
My niece is like a daughter to me (I helped raise her in her first few years), and we talk regularly...just not in person.
So, bringing this up over the phone is a bad idea entirely?
This is a pretty serious issue, OP. Depending on how you go about it, it could end horribly.
As far as I see it, you have two options.
Either you abandon the problems of this family, as much as it may pain you, and spare Emma a whole lot of trouble, or...
Or you involve yourself into something that could potentially lead to a broken family, and a sister that may come to loathe your existence.
Before you make any 'rash' decisions, I'd advise you to make sure you have some alone time with Emma, and then sit down and have a talk with her. You need to explain to her that violence from a parent is a big no-no, and that you can definitely keep a secret. The goal is to probe her for a clear indication whether or not she is a victim of child abuse. Take what you hear with a grain of salt. Children do exaggerate.
If you have reasonable suspicion to believe she is being abused, you should contact CPS and conduct a proper co-operation with them. Just know that, once they are involved, it will be very obvious who alerted them. This is probably the point where you will be alienated from your sister's side, and where things could turn real nasty.
But, as I said before, under no circumstance should you contact CPS unless you are absolutely certain she is a victim of child abuse. Even if you are wrong, and she's not a victim, the accusation will ruin your relationship with your sister. These are serious allegations.
I've been going to the gym for maybe 3-4 months now - but I still feel insecure every time I go because I'm a lardass. How do I fix my confidence?
What's your diet like and what do you do at the gym. No reason to feel insecure...nobody in a gym should care. I prefer seeing a fatty in the gym doing something about it rather than in maccas shoveling big Macs down their neck. Keep at it! I was a fatty once upon a time. Now I'm not. Your confidence will increase as you weight decreases.
>>16861422
I know you're right, but when I see myself in the mirror as I go to get water or look down at my thighs when using a machine I feel like shit.
Run faster burgerboy
Appearantly my gf works as a hostess in Chinese club. I never been in such clubs and have no idea what they do. From what I read in Internet, looks like hostess is kind of prostitute. She gets about $150 a week. Should I make her stop working there? What is her actual job?
>>16861391
How are we supposed to know what her job is? Ask her. And if she won't tell you then you can't trust her.
>>16861396
I'm asking advice from those who somehow related to Chinese hostess clubs and have idea what girls really do there
Bumb
>first time in a real relationship
>see her 2-3 times a week before we decide to be exclusive
>2 weeks after that I barely see her once a week
Is this how this shit works? I'm losing my mind wanting to see her and she just seems uninterested. I have no idea how to react to this.
You talk to her about it, as couples do. Communication is vital if you want any relationship to last.
There could be lots of reasons we have no clue about.
>>16861389
She works a lot and says she is exausted, I mean I get it but still. If it was the other way around even if I'm tired as fuck I would still find time to see her.
>>16861398
When it comes down to it, you have to consider what it is 'you' want out of this relationship. This is your life, not hers. If she isn't giving you what you need, why stay? Sure she may be charming and sweet, but so are tons of other girls out there. If you managed to get with one girl, you're just as likely to get with another.
"I'm exhausted" could mean a million things, and 'I'm tired' is just one of them.
I really want to work in a research lab in the future, but the rubber squeaking sound is driving me nuts. It doesn't help that latex gloves need to be worn and the lab I am interning use a lot of squeaking Styrofoam incl tube holders.
Wat do /adv/?
Yeah, the rubber gloves and clothes can be really off-putting at first, but you get used to it. I'd the hospital's sterile environment is even worse.
Anyway, this is what you want to do, right? So, bear with it. It won't last forever, unless you have a phobia or something.
>>16861412
No, it's not like a phobia. (maybe it is?) The sound while it bothers no one, it sounded like nail on chalkboard to me literally. I mean hair raised and instinctive avoidance and the whole nine yard.
I remember one time a lab mate was sitting next to me in the hood and couldn't for the life of her twist open a tight tube in a Styrofoam holder. Of course it produced that squeaking hellish sound and I had to put down my experiment and exit with cold sweat.
I thought I could overcome it by immersion would help, but 3 months in and still stays about the same..
>>16861464
Ew, that's pretty gross, OP. I hate that sound, too.
Also some types of marker on stuff like cardboard or rough paper, makes my skin crawl. Some sponges, as well.
I don't think there's much you can do. Maybe, it's one of those things where you got to immerse yourself into it over and over until it becomes white noise, you know?
How can you tell if a black guy has a receding hairline? I've seen a million black guys with a really high up hairline but it's still perfectly flat.
If the hairline isn't right above their eyebrows and doesn't have that five gum shape is it receding?
>>16862843
Oh my fuck that is funny
Seems like a good deal, should I sign it /adv/
CONTRACT
Written today, February 28, 2016
I. CONTRACT PARTIES:
For the purpose of this contract the parties involved will be referred to as
follows: “Dantec Dynamics Limited”, represented by Administrative Director
Elaine Brake in quality of beneficiary (hereafter referred to as
“Beneficiary”) and
a) Representatives (hereafter referred to as “Representatives”) as the
person signing this contract.
Now, therefore, in consideration of the execution of the Contract, and the
undertakings of the Parties as here in after set forth, it is agreed as
follows:
II. CONTRACT OBJECTIVES
2.1. This contract is written as an agreement that the Representatives
will be carrying out the financial operations for and in the name of the
Beneficiary according to its instructions as follows:
a) The Representatives will present itself at the bank where the
Representatives has an existing bank account and use this account to cash
the checks;
b) Cashing the funds on the checks for the Beneficiary;
c) Sending the funds to the Beneficiary after receiving instructions.
III. CONTRACT VALIDITY
3.1. The period this contract will be valid for is 1 (one) year,
starting from February 28, 2016 to February 28, 2017.
3.2. The duration of the contract written in paragraph 3.1. can be
extended if both parties wish so and it will be stipulated in an additional
annex.
3.3. The Representatives can terminate the contract provided a two-week
notice has been sent to the Beneficiary. During the two weeks the
Representatives will still have to perform its duties until there are no
more checks to clear or funds to be sent to the Beneficiary. The Beneficiary
will stop mailing checks to the Representatives upon receiving the
notification to terminate the contract.
IV. FINANCIAL TERMS
4.1. The Representatives will receive 10% for every check processed in
the first month. Within one month after receiving the first check the
Representatives will get an extra $1,800 if he/she will manage to cash
checks in a timely manner, also this bonus includes internet bill, phone
bill, gas/bus tickets. We will support all bills that the Representatives
will have to pay for internet and cell phone. PLEASE NOTE: This bonus will
be applied after one month has passed starting the day the Representatives
received the first check.
2. After two months of working with us a secondary bonus will apply.
The Representatives will receive 15% instead of 10% from all our checks. If
he/she performs up to our standard and continues to do so when our company
expands in the beneficiary’s area, he/she will be able to work full time and
increase the income up to $1200 - $1300 per week + the bonus of $1,800 every
month. If he/she does not perform up to the standard of the Beneficiary, or
business levels are not maintained, he/she should not expect increased
income levels as noted above.
4.2. The salary will be paid to the Representatives by cashier check.
4.3. The Beneficiary will provide financial help to the Representatives,
any and all financial losses that the Representatives might incur due to any
issues regarding the checks and money orders. These losses include all the
fees and up to the full amounts on the checks/money orders that the bank
might ask the Representatives to pay.
V. PARTIES OBLIGATIONS
5.1. The Representatives agrees:
a) To follow through and execute exactly the obligations towards the
Beneficiary which he/she assumed in the virtue of the present
Representatives contract;
b) To promptly send the payment to the Beneficiary following specific
instructions;
c) To keep this business relationship and transactions with the company
private from any third party;
5.2. The Beneficiary of these services agrees:
a) Not to force the Representatives to make transactions or transfers that
are illegal or in contradiction with the present contract;
b) To assume all responsibility financially that will result from executing
the present contract;
c) To carry out all its obligations towards the Representatives following
the terms and conditions stipulated in the present Representatives contract.
d) To issue a 1099 form for tax purposes and send it to the
Representatives after the first transaction.
VI. WARRANTIES
6.1. The Representatives guarantees for the execution of its duties in
the present Representatives contract.
6.2. The Beneficiary guarantees for the Representatives its full support
and financial aid in executing the objectives of the present Representatives
contract.
VII. IMMEDIATE TERMINATION
7.1. The present Representatives contract will be terminated, without
the need for a Court of Law to intervene in case one of the parties:
7.1.1. Does not execute one of the essential obligations as stated in the
present contract;
7.1.2. Cessions its rights and obligations stated in the present contract
without the approval of the other party;
7.1.3. Breaks one of its obligations, after it has been warned, through a
written notification by the other party that a new violation will result in
the termination of the present contract.
7.2. The party that will invoke termination of the obligations stated in
the present contract will notify the other party with at least 14 days in
advance before the date that the interruption will take effect.
7.3. Cancellation of the present contract will not have any effect on
the obligations falling due between the contract parties.
7.4. The stipulations of the present contract do not eliminate the
responsibility from the guilty party that caused for the contract to be
void.
VIII. EXTREME SITUATIONS
8.1. Neither of the parties will be held responsible for not being able
to carry out accordingly totally or partially any of its own obligations if
an extreme force or situation (as defined by law) has caused it.
8.2. The party that invokes an extreme situation is obligated to notify
the other party as soon as possible of its happening and to take all the
necessary measures to limit its consequences.
8.3. The Representatives will give a two-week notice to the Beneficiary
if he/she has to go away from its location or cannot perform its duties due
to illness. In either case the Representatives will not suffer any penalties
from the Beneficiary.
I'm not a great looking guy. 5/10 I guess, more like a 4 to be honest.
I've had girls invite me to do things (not often), and I feel like I could get a girlfriend with someone who has about the same looks, but it's hard to be confident when you're not great looking. What should I do? (I can't post a picture people know me and browse this so please don't ask)
I know what a lot of people are going to say but confidence can't be faked as much as people think. Things like exercise, clothing, haircut can impact how you feel about yourself and can even bump you up a few notches.
>>16861297
Looks mean a lot less to girls than they do to guys. Be personable, be confident, be empathetic, be fun, and they'll overlook your looks.
>>16861315
okay ill try
>Burned finger
>week later
>swolen, purple red lines through it
>vomiting fever headaches diahrea
Do I need a doctor? WhT's the chance of a blood infection?
>>16861281
can get sepsis from any skin breaking injury, go to a doctor immediately , sepsis can kill in a matter of days. No im not shitting you.
>>16861302
yep its a sepsis. haul ass to an ER like... now perhaps
Hi /adv/. I just had a massive nosebleed and the first thing I grabbed was my grandfather's pristine white handkerchief. The nosebleed is gone but now I have blood on it. I tried rinsing it with water but that didn't get rid of it. My first thought was to just use bleach since it's already white anyway. Does /adv/ have any home remedies for this problem (someone told me soak it in vinegar but I have doubts)?
I REALLY hope you rinsed it right away and with COLD water. Otherwise you are a bit fucked. First you get rid of the protein in the blood. Then you try to get the iron ions out. You can try doing that by soaking it with cola, then rinse and wash in the washing machine with some active oxigen for white laundry.
I use oxy-clean on my underwear when I get the unexpected period leak, and that shit works. But like the previous anon said, you must soak it and wash it in cold water. I hope you did that.
>>16861289
>>16861332
yeah, I rinsed with LOTS of cold water. Oxy-clean you say? We have a bunch of that powdered stuff. Do you think I can make up a small container of it and soak it?
So I have a problem with an old friend basically. I'm a guy and she's an insanely hot model. The thing is that I have been talking to her lately over what's app and such and she said we should meet up some time.
Now I do want to do this but how do I go about this? I have a girlfriend and I am fairly sure people will gossip about it if I hang out with her in a way that could be percieved as a date.
Now my question is how I should handle this. Should I wait for some event in a few months to invite her over? Or just go drinking somewhere? The problem with the event thing is that all my friends will also be there, some of them really do not like her. Any suggestions?
What are your intentions?
here's the issue /adv/
>ex and i had credit card open together(not under my name)
>credit card was closed out after breakup for obvious reasons
>just got an email from amazon saying charges were charged back from the card for items i bought -before- we broke up, that i paid for and now i owe them money
what do?
Bankfag here.
It's impossible to close out a credit card while it has any kind of debt. You probably only blocked the plastic but didnt void the contract.
If you did not close the contract (and you must have any kind of validation code to prove so, you are fucked.
May I ask what brand of card it is?
>>16861260
it's a capital one card. i called them and they just told me the card was closed and didn't say anything else.
>>16861260
another question is, did capital one initiate the charge back or what? these are from months ago. i don't get how that's even possible.
![avatar[8].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/co4szaT.jpg "avatar[8]")