Just write your crap down, procrastinating can be helpful for some things (it lets you fine tune before you go for it) but now here. It will almost definitely suck at the beginning, you'll need to give it to the friendly writer community and get feedback. Some people are a bit defensive about their work and so never get told why their books are constantly rejected. I doubt someone will publish it in less than a year, unless you pay them to do so (which you shouldn't).

>>16862100

>I HAVE THIS REALLY BIG GOAL FOR SOMETHING IVE NEVER DONE BEFORE AND THAT MOST PEOPLE NEVER DO, THAT I LITERALLY HAVE NO CONTROL OVER
>WHY AM I SO SCARED TO TRY

you will not get published in 2017. your first book is not going to go very far. accept that and you will go ahead and write your story. write it for fun.

and you dont have to worry about if its bad, cuz it will be bad. thats what a first draft is. you go back, make a second draft, one chapter at a time, and that'll make you feel comfortable posting it online, one chapter at a time, getting feedback from a few loyal readers.

>>16862100

ask your highschool english teacher

>>16862074
GO outside! doesn't have to be a bar just go to a mall and browse or get some coffee. Being surrounded by people will make you feel better. sitting inside talking online will make you feel worst even though your instinct tells you you will feel better.

>>16862081
Go outside where ?? Its literally raining/snowraining all the fucking time where i live whilst being cold.

Any place that i could go to would be inside somewhere, and i dont know anybody anywhere - so why would i go anywhere?

I dont feel like going to a museum, nor to some other artsy thing. I refuse to get fucked up partying while working, as i am trying to leave an A+ impression during my internship at a big company for added safety after i get my masters in the form of a potential job offer...

Maybe...
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>>16862074

first and foremost

>the bobcat teaches us to be alone without being lonely

its a native american spirit totem. reflect on that. though if i had to guess by your lack of whiny angsty bullshit, you kinda mastered that and legitimately need to make some friends. we all need some degree of interaction, even the lone bobcats.

so my advice
>you study languages
>presumably in some sort of class
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You can either continue drawing as a hobby, which is perfectly fine, or sacrifice everything to go to school for illustration. If you really wanted to be an illustrator bad enough, you would have found some way to study it, maybe it's not for you? Either way, Your history thing seems to be going great so I think stick with that, your job doesn't have to be your greatest passion.

>>16862036
Art schools are a waste of money. ANYTHING they teach you is available online for free.

Finish your education first. Far too many people think Art and illustration is something they can live off of. And its not. Get a life together then pursue your true passions in life.

>>16862075
I've done Vilppu's videos, New masters academy, gnomon, cgma classes, and local classes at a shitty studio nearby. They have all (except the last one) helped enormously in introducing me to the method of illustration but I have never benefitted from one on one teaching that i assume is essential to actually improve and figure out what I am doing wrong. I have put a tremendous amount of effort into self teaching because I knew that when I started, it was too late for me to ask my parents to fund my education...
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I know I’m not a supermodel looking guy but I think I look fine. In fact I've been told much uglier guys than myself do well and even seen this be the case(although some people still insist it's how I look). But when I ask people for their opinions because I honestly don’t get other people and I know I can’t speak for others they all just tell me my problem is I’m not confident blah blah but I’ve had girls actually tell me I don’t come off as having low self-esteem or low confidence at all. Probably because those things don’t fucking apply to me and I...
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I’ve literally only ever had women tell me I’m ugly. Even though both the people who said this have also said I’m cute and really good at holding a conversation so I should have no problem with women. But these are also girls I met via message boards so it’s not like I was going to meet or fuck or date them. They were just people I wanted to speak to because I don’t really have friends in real life and these people told me they felt like we got along or they had a “connection”(another concept I don’t really understand at all) with me and they seemed like neat...
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Some more successful guys tried to put me on okc and Tinder and insisted at first they could get me laid or a date at least. Then they try and build me a profile or wingman me or introduce me to girls they or their fuck buddies or gfs know and just in general nothing happens. Even when women try to help me out and insist they could do better because they are women. It honestly seems like nobody is able to help me. And when this becomes clear guys usually default to telling me it’s how I look and it’s like ok but I’m lifting weights already and there’s only so much I...
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>>16862014
>i'm guessing there's a big percentage of people that are having sex with girls they don't actually have much in common with.
nope.

Most people have sex with people they know or are friends with.

If you just want to fuck . Get a hooker or ask a female friend.

Random fucking is not as prevalent as media would lead you to believe.

>>16862014

>how do i put up with the inane stuff people speak about.

theres your problem. anything you dont like is suddenly inane.

i dont like legos, but i met a guy who builds them for a living. fuck, i didnt even like legos when i was a kid. was never good with building them. always ended up with just a block. sometimes it had wings.

but he loved what he did and i just took the time to listen about it. he took the time to listen to me talk about my 'inane'...
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>>16862033
>Most people have sex with people they know or are friends with.
i kinda find hard to believe that most people that fuck are genuinely friends.. in the sense i'm friends with my best friend, with whom i've spoken for hundreds of hours and i'm still able to speak to him. i don't know if it's only my case, but i've met a lot of people and i've only managed to have a similar rapport with like 3 people..
>>16862037
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>>16861985
hazel

I don't think hazel, that's almost green. On a driver's license her shit should say brown. There is some golden color in there though.

>>16861992
>>16862006
Yeah I don't think it's hazel either but isn't it too light for brown?

>>16861963

>how do i build my entire life around marijuana

>>16861970
Not exactly. I enjoy smoking but doing what I do for a city is literally tearing my body up. I'm in so much pain I honestly can't walk right in the morning.

>>16861997

get a job that doesnt tear up your body. then you dont need weed. then you dont need a major that you can toke up with :^)

>>16861959
I have no idea what this vague ass thing you need to say is. BUT if you want to say it and run you should probably say it in person. Publicly if needed.

>but i don't wanna

Do what you want then.

>>16861967
I just need to apologise and growel, something like that can't be done in person because I'm ill and it's not very possible anyway cause the dude runs away whenever he sees me and I'm always too tired or sleepy to chase him. And people would talk.

eh, fuck it all.

up

>>16861956
>I only see her when I´m going back home from school
See her how? Have you talked to her before? If so you shouldn't have a problem "breaking the ice". Just talk to her. Pussies don't get pussy.

Talk to your Sangha

>>16861955
Suffer some serious SERIOUS shit and life is a joke.

>>16861955
What sorts of things have you already tried?

dude most customers escorts gets are lonely guys who just want to cuddle and have a little sex afterwards... well the decent escorts atleast... but would paying a prostitude to spend time with u really help? spend time with family instead or failling that, get a dog, a dog will force u to care for another being and focus on the happiness of sayed dog, also it will make u take walks and ppl love puppies and strangers will start talking to u to get to pet the puppy... if u play your cards right u will get some new contacts and maybe some sex.... long story short: puppy > prostitude

>>16862227
Or fucking ask a bitch out and challenge some fears instead of just hanging your head in resignation saying, 'welp, no use in trying im just bad"

>>16861950
OP don't be desperate. There will be a time you can spend those savings on something you like, or someone who earned your respect. You have worth and on your way in life you'll be able to form relationships if you act now.

>>16861929
who knows!

keep looking for love elsewhere and if she comes back roll with her. Don't let yourself be stung along. Some girls just keep guys around for free compliments and attention.

>>16861934
So, you're saying give up?

stop pestering her, let her calm down
if she won't initiate contact with you, just assume she wasn't interested and find another match

This isn't a bait thread at all. Nope.

>thinking europe is any better

we are drowning in sand niggers, you know.

>>16861908
Either provide info about your situation, or we assume you're a troll and send you to /int/ and /pol/.

BTW /int/ and /pol/ have good conversations about cultures within each nation.

>>16861907
bah! she is just stringing you along AKA backup boyfriend.

just start hanging with other people. bla blabla i don't know too many people. well get to know more people then.

>>16861907

I was in a similar situation about half a year ago.
I told her straight out that I felt uncomfortable with our relationship and that I was going to distance myself from her.

She was hurt ofcourse but I don't think there is a good way to tell anyone this.

It helped me as I was able to get my emotions in order again.

Not saying this is a good solution but it's a option.

>>16861907
Stop hanging out with her. Give one worded responses in texts, don't spark up convos, slowly fade yourself out

>suspects that there's mold on his weed
>adds moisture so the mold can thrive even more

>>16861887
Mold.

Don't smoke it.

it's mold, dude

don't dampen your weed next time