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Is talking to girls over text/Facebook messenger usually a bad idea? I feel like I sound very autistic over Messenger and any attempt on my part to start conversation just appears desperate. Therefore, I try to avoid doing this. At the same time though I have a hard time seeing girls or whatever in person.
What are your thoughts?
No it's great practice.
I used to suck at messaging too. I used to double text, ask for a response, get too clingy, all the no-nos.
When I see a girl I like on Tinder or okcupid, I message her "How does this work? We're dating now, right..."
It works almost every time.
anyone here order a ton of food and throw like 3/4 out?
I know i'm a horrible person and I want to find the problem and stop doing this.
Thank you
Don't take so much food
I'm 18 and sleeping with this dude who is super nice, but I can't tell how far he wants to take this emotionally. We're not going to be living in the same country in a couple of months, as I'm going to study across the country and he's staying in our hometown (Buttfuck, Nowhere, USA). He's asked if I want to "go out" with him, even after we fucked so I'm not sure if he's looking for a gf or what, plus I'm not sure I can have a long distance thing with him because I'm a super big slut, obviously. Please advice, thanks.
You're 18, and this is barely fling level even if he wanted to "be with you"
Don't be stupid, don't get into a long distance relationship. Not worth it at all.
>>16863532
lmao but daddy i love him
Crush is in a theathre play tonight and she invited me to come and see her. The problem is that I've never been to a play before, first of all and second of all, her friends are going to be there and it will feel awkward for me to enter this group since I don't know anybody except her. I don't even know whether she rejected me or not, I'm not her bf and I really cant find any reason to be there. Shit, I don't know what to do and it is really annoying.
I'm thinking of not going, find some excuse...
Pic not related
Just go. Your reason for going is to get some brownie points with her, and perhaps befriend her friends so future interactions aren't awkward.
At plays you won't be talking with anyone that much so if it is awkward it won't be that bad.
>>16863519
>I've never been to play before.
that sucks, you need experience seeing plays before you go see a play. otherwise you might embarass yourself. you wont know when you're supposed to go on stage and say your monologue.
oh WAIT. YOU'RE JUST SEEING THE PLAY. that means you can just sit and watch it. you know. like a fucking play.
thats literally all it takes. show up. watch. clap. leave. how hard is this?
>her group of friends will be there
you dont need to sit with them. even if you do, its a play, dont talk during it, so no thing to worry about
>whether she rejected me or not?
what? how do you not know if she rejected you? how? she either said yes or no yeah?
anyways, simply say 'sure, maybe i can take you on a date afterwards ;)' and see what she says.
This is the stupidest problem I've seen here in a while.
Help me out here my dudes,
New girl just moved into my sharehouse a week ago. I've always had a 'Don't get involved with housemates' rule because I've heard horror stories about it going very wrong. This hasn't been a problem in the past but I'm falling for this girl real fucking quick, and I'm thinking of breaking the rule. We've spent a few hours together each day since she moved in and we just click like nothing else, I've had girlfriends before, but they were never serious and I've never felt like this before, I'm literally feeling sick to my stomach typing this god damn.
Problem is how do I make some sort of advance? We're super comfortable around each other and she hasn't hesitated at all talking about pretty intimate shit despite only knowing her for a week, she'll come and knock on my room to see if I wanna go out and do something, convinced me to go to this gig with her next week etc. I honestly can't tell if she's just being super friendly because she just moved to a new state and she's trying to make friends, or if she feels the same way I do.
So I want to make some sort of approach, but I just really do NOT want to make it awkward between us if she doesn't feel the same way, since we're going to be living in the same house for at least another 6 months. I'd rather just get her out of my head and move on than make it extremely awkward if I don't know for sure that she's interested.
FUCK help me out here /adv/ idk what to do
>>16863488
posting all-time celeb crush to bump
There's a cute girl I see working every once in a while when I study at a coffee shop. A week ago when I went up to her to order something she started a convo with me about how she's seen me around before and how she'd be doing her last shift next week.
I meant to talk to her more, get her name and number but I was cut off by a friend in the shop as well as a growing line, so I let her slip away. I ended up talking to another girl later that night in the shop, and she had mentioned that she knew her, so I got her number, feigning interest so that I could use her to get the cute girls number as a last resort.
Anyway, her last shift came up Saturday. I eventually went up to her and got to talking again, she went real slow with the order and seemed to be pretty interested so I went ahead and asked her if she wanted to hang sometime. She said yes, and I ended up giving her a paper with my name and number written on it.
I went back to my table to study but soon left because they were setting up for open Mic, didn't see her on the way out.
It's been a couple days, no call or text yet. Forget about it or text her friend about it? And if I do talk to the friend, what should I say?
I'm 24, they're about 18-19.
I gotta say I'm confident about my looks, but the friend won Miss "city" 2010 or something and she's not really that cute, I think it's her extracurriculars.
Tl;Dr gave a barista my number, no call or text yet.
I meant to say two weeks ago at the beginning
eh, ill bump this once, posted it in the ask the other gender thread but no replies.
>>16863459
Bump
There's a girl I like, and I think I have the confidence to ask her out, but I'm 18 and never been on a date. I have no idea what I'm doing.
What percentage of the date are you comfortable talking with her? That's a good place to start.
>>16863468
Idk, I can handle a fair bit of conversation, but if it was 80%+ talking, idk how I'd do.
Is a movie and dinner a viable thing? I've heard that watching the movie first gives you a fallback for conversion, but I don't know of anyone that's done that for a first date.
>>16863457
Movies are a safe bet. Ask her if she's like to go to a movie on a certain day. If she says yes, then casually mention two or three films and ask her opinion. Gives her a chance to choose something she might enjoy. (You're lucky because there aren't many tearjerker relationship movies at the box office right now, so you might actually enjoy the film.)
We've had Academy award nominee films. Has she seen them ? I don't think Revenant or Spotlight might make the best films for a first date but, damn, what were the others ?
One of the great things about going to some kind of show, is that you can discuss it. Especially if the film has some cultural/discussion value. So that leaves out slasher movies.
Do you two share classes or activities or interests ? Always good for conversation over goodies at the snack bar or burger place after movie.
Just don't bring up the subject of 4Chan :-)
How do you enjoy anything in life? Everything seems dull to me, I started to lie in bed the whole day long for a few weeks and nothing is fun anymore, just bothersome.
Do you have any hobbies?
Sounds like what you need are some goals to work toward. I suggest finding something to do other than sleeping all day. I promise you will feel more fulfilled if you do.
>>16863461
I had hobbies, productive and consumebased ones, but they aren't enjoyable anymore.
>>16863462
What would be some good goals? I mean, it is so hard for me to just get out of bed, so I can't really think of anything.
At what point do you give up trying?
And yes, this is a very general question.
>>16863453
W.C. Fields:
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
Then give up. No sense in being a damned fool about it
I think many people would say, "give up when there's no chance of success" but I say, "Don't give up until there's nothing to be learned from failure."
Alright /adv/, long story short, I'm a college kid going through some stuff. I went my first semester and passed my classes, second semester I went for a few weeks but towards the end just stopped going because I just couldn't get motivated to go. I decided I should probably take a semester off and just work, and try to figure out what to do with my life. I tried to tell my parents that but they got pretty upset and basically made me register for the current semester. I intended to try to go but I never went, and now I have to withdraw from those classes because I have too many abscences, and because of this, I might get suspended from going to the school next semester. I feel bad because I know they want me to be successful and not waste their money, but I just can't be motivated to go when I don't really want to and I wish they could just try to understand where I am coming from. Anyway, they've been asking to see my grades for awhile and are getting pretty pissed so I'm gonna have to show them tomorrow. Here is my question; I know they are gonna be pissed either way, but what should I even say to them? I don't know how I should approach this or even possibly defend myself.
>>16863436
>i intended to try to go
thats a whole lot of 'meh' behind that statement. and thats not a thing. 'try' implies an obstacle.
you can TRY to lift that weight, but it might be too heavy. you didnt TRY to go to class, cuz that literally just takes getting up and going.
you decided not to go. there was no try.
better find a friend you can stay with while you hunt for a job. there is nothing you can say but
>im lazy and do not care
cuz thats what it boils down to. you did school for the first 18 fucking years of your life. college is NOT that much harder, especially for a first year. you chose not to do good by simply not going
I'm 18 and I live with parents.
I'm more mature than many others my age and want a committed relationship/partnership deeply.
I have school and a job, I live here to save money unapologetically. Until I have the $20k or more a year job to get my own place, it doesn't seem that women appreciate me doing this as it leads to the accusation of me being not independent.
I could spend $8000 a year I don't have on dorm rooms where I would be labeled an autist for making noise complaints on drinking parties. Or I could live in a ghetto area with shitty roommates and eat shit food.
Those are the options as I see them. Living at home is what I want to do at the moment.
Does this make it next to impossible to get an girlfriend?
Subpoint: how do I play it off if called out on it?
>>16863424
>im 18 and live at home
>impossible to get a girlfriend?
>impossible
>im mature
>want a committed partnership
do you realize how many college students between 18-25 years of age live at home for that reason. Unless you're going for older bitches nobody will care. You're young. I hardly know anyone who moved out right at 18 unless they went to a dorm or whatever for school
No, if you date people your own age, they probably won't expect you to have your own place. Know that if you want a "committed relationship/partnership" you'll probably want to have sex sometime and that will require a place. What i used to do was use a cool friend's house whose parents didn't live there, but if that's not possible, try and clear your parents out the house once in a while. Since you're legally an adult, you might be able to get them to give you some alone time with your partner after introducing them. Anyway, that's just how i managed my relationship when I was 18, before we both went to college and everything went to shit. Things change a lot at this age, so unless you're willing to get your heart ripped out, don't get too close to anyone who you don't know gonna stick around. Stay safe, kiddo.
- some bitter old woman who saw you on the gfd thread ;)
It just occurred to me that I don't actually know of a good place online to ask a doctor about a medical question. Is there such a place? I don't mind opening my wallet if it's legit.
>>16863421
For starters you can consult webmd.com
is there ever a good time to blatantly state your interest in a girl? Let me give you some context:
There's a girl that live in the same metro area (different suburbs) that is the only person I knew (other than my family) before I moved a few states away to my current area.
I think she has a crush on me (judging this based off of her saying I have a celebrity doppelganger, and then seeing on social media her basically post the celebrity as her man crush monday), but she's a shy girl, which I think is mainly because English isn't her first language (she's colombian). I hadn't even heard her speak before I hung out with her one day in the city.
But anyways, I've hung out with her twice since moving, and the first time there really wasn't much flirting at all, at least in terms of physical contact etc. I blame myself, since I was thrown off by her still being so shy so I didn't want to encroach on her blah blah, but before the second time last week I told myself to at least greet her with a hug, but I'm not sure how the day went.
(1/2)
(2/2)
There were instances of flirting where I had my arms around her, I had my hand on her leg etc and she seemed to at least tolerate it, but I think my hand grazed her ass and she kind of jumped, along with one of the flirty moments she was all like "personal space" but I honestly can't tell, with her accent and such, if she was being flirty/sarcastic, serious, or what. Just in general since she's naturally kind of a cautious/shy/nervous etc girl she wasn't giving me either obviously positive/receptive feedback with flirting, which I'm used to and work with a lot better, or obviously uninterested signals.
So since then I've texted/snapchatted etc a few times and have really gotten no response, but that's not entirely uncommon with her...it's not like obvious she's not into me etc, especially since she's so shy and I could totally believe she's too shy to really show obvious interest.
She also is quite the liberal and has tweeted/shared pics showing mansplaining and other feminist stuff, so that's why I think maybe being like "hey sorry if I was too forward, or if I made you uncomfortable" etc might be a good thing since a lot of those kinds of feminists are all about how you're supposed to ask permission to hold hands etc, which i think is unrealistic.
I figure since I really don't have any real hopes of actually dating since we kind of live away from each other (though I guess I'd be open to it if she was) I would be ok if such a conversation backfired so I see it as a "it can only help/put it out in the open there's something between us" etc.
pic unrelated
How to deal with SJW mom...
I was raised in a sex positive peer group. Sex is fine, sex is normal, its something people have a desire for, and something that's okay to fulfill. Kinda like europe or any large U.S. city.
I was raised in a small town. The SJW dovetails perfectly into the way my small town's older groups are highly religious and think sex is gross and wrong unless two people love each other.
My mom just had a rant about not eating at Carls Jr because they objectify women in their ads, so I pushed her, and she said she was personally offended. I asked her if I should be offended because they sell products with muscular, attractive guys with no clothing, and she asks if they have to have their dick half showing like women's tits.
How do you cope with the messages that say sex is good, and even okay to be sexual and look for it if you're interested in that lifestyle, vs SJW and religious kinds of "everything is objectifying and degrading to women" nonsense?
>>16863417
I guess the secondary question is, do any of you believe in the sexualizing objectifying stuff? How can a person explore and satisfy their sexuality without being objectifying?
Nigga you sound 16
>>16863428
That's fine "nigga". Do you actually want to answer advice threads?
Hello /adv/,
I was dating a girl for 7 months and we broke up last May. She gave me some BS excuse – she needed to make a big decision in her life and she didn’t want to get me involved in her problems and make me sad. We sorta have the same mutual friends, but since then we haven’t talked and I’ve only seen her a handful of times.
However, on Saturday during a group dinner with friends we were both at that she was pregnant and gave birth in December, which puts the conception date sometime around late March – about two months before we broke up. Looking back, I think that “Big decision” was about was leaving me to raise her child with the guy she cheated on me with. If she learned she was pregnant and she decided to break up with me with a shitty vague excuse then get back together with her ex, then she should be certain he is the father. But I can’t help but wonder if this baby is mine and give this situation the benefit of the doubt. I mean, we were talking in April and she mentioned to me “I’m not the kind of girl that would cheat”. Can somebody really just lie like that when they probably conceived a child with somebody around two weeks earlier?
I’m starting to stress out about this. We didn’t have sex too often – and I don’t think we did when she should have conceived, but we weren’t too good on using protection either. Obviously, I don’t want the baby to be mine. I’m thinking she’s certain I’m not the father but I might need to hear that from her so I’m sure as well. Should I ask her straight up if she’s certain? Or at the very least use it as a chance to get mad at her and call her a cunt for cheating and not telling me she got fucking pregnant while we were dating for “closure”, since I never had the chance too? I’m scared where this may lead if she’s unsure, but I suppose it’s best to take responsibility if she’s my daughter even though I’m not really in the position to be a father.
>>16863406
>can somebody really just lie
go ask if the baby is yours. you have a right to. you'll get the full story there. if you want to go ahead and demand a paternity test to be safe.
Yeah, I think I'll ask her tomorrow. I'm already think ing of all the BS she is going to say to justify her cheating.
One of the things that's pissing me off the most right now is after we all had dinner of Saturday, she texted me and told me she feel weird hanging out together with our friends and asked if me and her are "okay". I told her we probably aren't but I'll figure it out without her but the more I think about it and piece it all together in my head, the more pissed I get. Does she legit think she did nothing wrong or I'd be "okay" after learning she cheated on me and had a baby? It's that attitude that has me thinking I'm wrong somehow and this is just a giant misunderstanding because I can't image her being so stupid and heartless.
>>16863406
She cheated, she's a lying slut, call her to laugh at her for fucking up here life
