Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1133. page
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I was talking to this girl and I took her on a date, and sometime last week she didn't reply to one of my messages and it wrecked me. I stopped messaging her entirely, figured she was sick of me and / or bored of me and that I wasn't worth the time anyway. My friends all said I was doing good I just needed to be more forward about it, but I have very little self esteem and she's a 10/10 gorgeous, interesting girl that has no reason to talk to a loser like me. How do I stop thinking like this? It's been a little over a week since we talked and I figure there's no way she has any interest in me or she'd go out of her way to talk to me. But, she is almost always one of the first 3 people to view my snapchat stories no matter what time I post it.
Wat do? How do I lose this low self esteem and feel confident enough to confront her about my ACTUAL feelings?
Thnx
>>16955653
theres some bullshit about girls not texting you first and also not texting too much because they dont want to seem easy you basically have to be relentless
just convince yourself that she wants you and you have to push for it, thats the only way you dont die alone
Read "Feeling Good" by Dr. David Burns. Study it and follow the processes outlined. Really changed my life.
TL;DR I got rejected by the first girl I ever loved, so heartbroken I've decided I'm going to join the YPG in Syria.
I've read the Lions of Rojava website and on other forums and they seem to be saying as it doesn't really matter what my skills are other than I'm smart and can learn Kurdish. I'm not sure if I actually want to be a fighter because I don't know if I'd be good at that, I have no military experience. Although I'm not fat I'm not very fit, but I can force myself to do things if I put my mind to it. I would be happy to do anything at this point.
Does anyone have any advice on what I'm facing? I'm a Socialist and I sympathise with their ideology, and I want to be a part of that revolution. I might die but I don't care, this will make a man of me.
>>16955611
Don't stop for a second and go blow yourself idiot.
>>16955615
I've thought about it for a while but I've decided that I have had enough and need to go and do something like this. I read Homage to Catalonia when I was a kid, it had a big effect on me and I've always wished I could take part in something like that.
I also have a friend I used to talk politics with back in high school, but nowadays he can't hold down a steady job, gotten into trouble with drugs and alcohol. He's kind of lost. Maybe I can convince him to leave with me.
>>16955619
You're gonna get captured and wind up in an ISIS propaganda video.
Guys i really need help. Im 22, I have less than $10, no friends or family helping me get a job. Education level GED, no job experience what so ever and I live in NYC. What should I do to get money and hopefully make a living.
>>16955589
seriously swallow your pride an become a garbage man, people will laugh at you until you tell them you start out making 80K with the potential to make 110-120K with a few years experience
bonus: you also get a semi decent workout
Close 4Chan Tab
End Pity Party
Go on Craigslist
Get a Fucking JOB
Go to WORK
???
PROFIT
>>16955592
Where to go to apply for it?
So I was just asked out on a date by a black woman 10 years older than me in her 30s. She's pretty attractive, 7 or 8 out of 10 I'd say. Had to pass though.
I'm a white guy, /fit/, shaved head. I'm not single and I politely turned her down, citing my gf. But I'm now wondering what turns people onto others younger than them. What really threw me off was that she said that if I was ever single, I should give her a call (we see one another fairly regularly, though haven't talked until tonight). I always felt like women want men around their age, including their race group. Outside of the novelty of dating outside of a racial group or age group, what makes some women more assertive yet willing to "wait" for a guy to be done with a gf? Is it wanting what they can't have? I feel like that's also an old racial thing (once being a much greater taboo than today), but I've gotten the same sort of questioning from a 19 yo Mongolian girl when I was working. Women always seem to notice a man's eyes. Thing is, I never notice them looking until the component comes.
I've also been asked out by an Indian girl after she got out of a police academy.
Interestingly enough, there have been other times where women have asked me out, but it has been overwhelming other races, loke 9 oit of 10 times. Can't say I mind, just interesting to note over the years. Do other guys find themselves often being asked out by other races? All guys can comment; I obviously see black guys getting asked out by white girls and other examples. Girls open to comment would be helpful, too.
Anyone else have similar experiences?
Pic semi related. The psychology of women asking men out is pretty interesting, especially when it crosses racial and generation lines.
idk maybe u look a little ethnic or interesting idfk F.a.m. this a dumb thread tho
>>16955587
Could be. Not sure the ethnic I'd look though.
>>16955587
All threads can be pretty fucking dumb desu, f.a.m.-senpai. Mostly looking for more of a philosophy chat then the usual advice thread about someone in a college level relationship having the umpteenth crisis scenario.
I need to get a rough estimate for making a website where people can post their available times and other people can search through those posts (on dates and times) to find a match for them. Also, is it possible to hire a developer to add certain features to a website that already has other features made?
>>16955568
>>16955568
>Help for Business Management class! Hardworking Student
PICK ONE
do your own homework
how much is it to hire someone to add features to an already made website? Such as user profiles and a feedback system.
I'm not a webdev, but i could probably hack together something like that in perl in a day or two. An actual webdev might need less.
How do I stop seeing flaws in little things that they do as time passes by and I get to know the person better?
After a while, I always end up questioning the relationship. I know it's stupid and an exaggeration, I don't expect a perfect person but even the things I found okish or somewhat fun at the beginning, in time they appear lame, pathetic and annoys the hell out of me to the point that it's hard to look past them and it clouds my feelings.
Am I utterly stupid or do I constantly make the wrong choices regarding people?
>>16955565
It's probably the people.
>>16955565
are you black ?
have the same thing, it happens to me practically every relationship. My problem is I think that in the beginning I'm just happy spending time etc. with a new person, and don't think about what could be serious character flaws. Then when the initial euphoria wears off you really see those flaws.
Another issue is that it simply takes time to get to know people, and some flaws might not show immediately.
Is LinkedIn any good? I have a few friends who are bugging me to make one.
>>16955528
Are you a white collar professional only intending to use it for networking purposes?
Then, yes.
If not?
Then, no.
THERE ARE NO EXCEPTIONS TO THIS RULE.
>>16955536
This. Also be careful what you share, it's a great tool for dox.
It's only for serious professionals.
>be me, grill
I've lived with my bf for a year, dated him for 18 months. I found out 6 months ago that he had skype sex with another girl the first week we were dating and chatted up dozens on tinder over the next 6mo until we moved in. Still unsure if he had sex with any of them. I consider it cheating. After I found out it made me ill, and I was so, so hurt. Tried to talk about it many times but he would kinda shut down, and that made me angry that he wouldn't be there for me emotionally when I was crying after dreaming about it, etc. Resentments built up quickly about dishes, chores, how he'd respond to me, often I'm be irrationally angry at something he said even though I knew he meant well. I've been a real bitch.
FFW to now; I broke up with him a month ago because we were miserable and he's moving out in a week. I'm having serious doubts about if I did the right thing. We do have many pleasant moments, and I realize the unpleasantness is caused by my anger that I have to let go of. I truly love him and don't want to lose him. I want to come up with a plan to make it work. Something like going to therapy once a week with him and individually too, meditating, and making a conscious effort to let go of my anger when it comes up. Ideas?
>>16955519
Note: He regrets cheating and cried a lot, got really angry at himself for doing it. He was so upset whenever I brought it up that he wasn't really able to comfort me.
Define "skype sex" for me, is that just like him being naked in front of a webcam?
I guess we just have markedly different opinions on what constitutes cheating but I understand that you personally felt this was a breach of trust.
I would give it some time honestly for you to calm down and him to think things through. If after 3 or so months you still genuinely miss him and want to give it another chance, go for it.
A main notion that appears multiple times in your writing is that you feel he should always be there to comfort you regardless of his own personal issues/baggage he may be dealing with.
You may need to lower your expectations for how much your partner will be at your beck and call, especially if you break down crying about this kind of thing often.
But yea, time apart is the best option. If you still both miss/love each other after 3 or so months, try again. Right now you are too distressed to analyze this situation logically though, and so you will likely make decisions you regret if you make them in the heat of the moment.
That's fucking stupid, just break up. Dude is on tinder right now.
Do girls relay experiences and change the men that they're dating based on certain guys they wish they could be dating?
If so, do they realize it?
My situation:
> me and this girl met and become friends
> I like her and felt like we had a connection, but I don't ask her out
> I feel like I'm in the friendzone anyway
> she starts dating someone else
> I notice that he starts dressing like me
> they start bonding over personal jokes, favorite animals & colors, and experiences that I had with her making them their own.
> brag about it a lot on social media and how happy they are together
> He also starts getting into the same hobbies as my own, feeling like she pressured him into it.
> I still deal with confused feelings
>>16955507
maybe he's a better version of yourself ? either way since they are happy I suggest you don't think too much about it.
>>16955507
Maybe? Who cares.
This sounds like some high school shit.
Girl sounds immature as fuck and you sound insecure as fuck.
>>16955511
I know and maybe, but it seems like a totally 360 from what he used to be like before when they 1st started dating.
I don't think it's just me. I've noticed that sometimes a person will try to recreate people they've dated previous before or like that they have the same similarities
Do you ever meet someone who is so much of a "somebody" that it reminds you of when you were one, and you can't help but be immensely envious of them and how they managed to not fuck up and get sucked into soulless NPCdom?
Is it not too late to stop being an NPC, or is being a real individual something that is innate, cannot be given, but can be taken away?
This isn't an existential crisis in the broader sense. I guess it's more of an identity crisis. Like, things could have been okay but I bought into the idea that they couldn't and allowed it to dominate me.
I know the proper course of action is to take a stance where you respect their individuality instead of pretending like it exists only to remind you of what you've lost, go you for being you! And me for being me! But, when there is no "me", that's a little difficult
I feel like a ghost trapped in Hades, clawing at the new meat, desperate to feel its warmth.
It's not too late. I sort of get what you're feeling, but at the same time it's not my situation.
Actually, you remind me of someone I loved. I was showing him a cool chemistry demonstration in my shitty home lab and he got all quiet and teary. He said "You're so special." I asked him what he meant and it kinda sounded like what you're describing. He was only 22, but he said he felt like he was in the winter of his life somehow. I tried to convince him otherwise but, you know how it is, people can't fix people.
Anyway, he killed himself.
But there is a "you" it's hard for you to see it right now but there is. You understand you bought into an idea that isn't really true. It's not too late. Not for anyone still breathing.
>>16955520
>Actually, you remind me of someone I love
>Anyway, he killed himself
Well that's fucking depressing
a phoenix is reborn from the ashes of it's former self.
some people try and fight when their life is swirling around the toilet bowl. if they'd just let go they would make it through the sewer to the treatment plant and be clean drinking water all that much sooner.
Say goodbye to your old life, and start anew.
Don't hold onto anything. Worldly possessions only weigh you down. Burn it all.
Jesus didn't have a castle, or a big screen tv. He didn't take crap from the money changers
He got a band together and went on tour
and people worshiped him. He said fuck my dad's book, here's a new testament bitches.
You too can be resurrected, you just have to get stoned, and crucified first.
>friend invited me to theme park a few days ago
>I say yeah sure
>a day before we go (tomorrow), I text him asking what time we leave and he ignored the message
>it's been like 10 hours now and he hasn't responded
This is one of the most frustrating things for me. What do? Am I disinvited or something?
Ive texted him twice, anymore and I think I'll just look like a beta faggot with no other friends.
One of my friends is notorious for that but it usually means he isn't going either.
>>16955491
The thing is he invited me to go with him and his other friends. I'll prob see him on snapchat or fb at the park tomorrow
>>16955468
sleep tight, pupper
how can i attract a dominant girl? i want to be cute i want someone to love me
>>16955409
drug rape her, show her who's the boss
>>16955458
>dominating
>drug rape her
I need the answer to this as well.
How do I stop thinking about someone you like?
pic unrelated
>>16955408
by thinking about someone you like more ?
Out of sight out of mind.
Remove them from all online programs, don't see them, block number, throw away or stash that plushie.
>>16955408
find a hobby and immerse yourself in it, read books, watch shows, distract yourself
Is it better to tell a psychiatrist...
>...you belive you have a certain mental disorder because you've researched the symptoms and feel it accurately describes what you've been going through for years.
Or.
>...list your symptoms and let them come to their own conclusion.
As with any doctor, just list symptoms.
Tell them you think you have it because having x without knowing it and thinking you have it are 2 different things
Both of you picked opposite answers :( I'd love more opinions.
Is it possible to be too boring to get a gf?
How can I not be boring?
Be good looking.
>>16955362
Basically America
>>16955359
everyone's boring nigga some people just hide it better
