Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1124. page
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>Start noticing that people don't talk to me unless I talk to them first
>Start noticing that I'm never invited to hang out with people unless I ask
>tfw I discover I give off a strange "air" about me, and people just think I'm weird because I'm very nice
How do I change this guys? I'm not weird looking, I'm very fit, and I go out of my way to make people feel better, but fuck. I just want people to talk to me because they want to, not because they feel they have to. What can I do socially to make this happen?
dude this shit happened to me, basically you have to ditch all those shitter 'friends' you have atm because they are just training you along. theyre genuine psychopaths, fuck em
>>16957439
Well when all of the genuine psychopaths are you co-workers and brothers in arms at a life and death job, you can't really get rid of them. They are good people for the most part, I honestly believe the issue is me. I wish I could breathe confidence better or something.
These are guys that I will know and work with for the next 30 years, I want to be known as a good guy, not that weird dude.
Please help me /adv/
< Boinking two women.
< Used to date one until she cheated on me multiple times.
< Still in love, and still hook up with her.
< We both make it clear we're seeing other people.
< Tell other partner I still love ex. She's okay with it, and still wants to BOINK
< Both are acquaintances. Not friends, but social circles tend to overlap.
< Feel guilty about sleeping with both of them.
I'm really damn conflicted, amigos. I've told both women I'm seeing other people, I'm honest about my intentions with both, and they aren't friends, but a part of my gut still feels like I'm betraying the woman I love.
Then the other half of my brain says "SHE TREATED YOU LIKE SHIT FOR YOUR ENTIRE THREE YEAR RELATIONSHIP! CHEATED ON YOU MULTIPLE TIMES, HIT ON YOUR FRIENDS, IS CURRENTLY SLEEPING WITH SOMEONE ELSE, AND ACTS FUCKING MISERABLE ALL THE TIME! YOU'RE SINGLE AND HONEST, DON'T YOU EVER FUCKING FEEL BAD FOR THIS!"
I strongly feel that I should stop seeing them, focus on building my future and building myself into a stronger person with more integrity... But there's a voice lingering in the back of my mind, telling me that what I'm doing right now isn't at odds with those goals.
What do you lads think?
nobody gives a shit famalam
kill yourself
>>16957306
You don't give a shit, but you're taking time to reply? Makes sense. Thanks for the tip.
>>16957289
You, like myself and my father 'feel a sense of guilt' for seeing multiple girls at once. Despite being clear and honest about things, it just 'doesnt feel right'. Now, we don't hold this silly ideal against any other male ever - it's just what we've felt. I do not know what causes it - but my guess guess, in my case. is catholic/conservative upbringing, putting future hopes on dreams on your 'best partner at the time' and the pair-bonding chemistry associate with being intimate with another person. Being able to mindfuck your way out of it is the only way I think..
You already have your answer - what I'm doing right now isn't at odds with those goals. Until there comes a point where you think seeing these women is affecting your personal development, I see no reason to cease seeing them.
However, it is clear you still have feelings for your ex - you wouldn't have to remind yourself that she was a traitorous whore.. so tread lightly. Continuing to see her and having unrequited feelings could prove detrimental to your selfdevelopment.
good luck,
Is there something wrong with looking up images of 9/11, school shootings, disasters, etc. as more of a way to fully understand the magnitude of these events?
I don't have any sexual pleasure from it but it's just something I find interesting. Is there something wrong with me?
>>16957230
>something wrong with me?
Most likely yes. Your curiosity stems from a lack of love and nicer things in your life. It also is most probably a way of venting stress and frustration that occurs in your very own life.
I'm sorry for you anon. Hope you won't need to do this anymore because you'll receive the love and care you deserve.
>>16957230
not at all, its pretty normal, hell even normies spread around videos of people getting beheaded by cartels.
I know this board is normally for straight up suicide method discussion, but i just need some advice.
I'm 23, no job, no friends or gf, live in entirely new state.
Worst of all, I have had chronic back pain for 4 years straight now, and it has destroyed all the happiness I once had. The pain is there 24/7 and is eats away at you. I've have tried hard to improve, tried exercise, diet, meditation, and seeing doctors at one point. At this point I have no money and parents claim they don't have any for me to seek treatment. I feel suicidal every day now, and have for at least the past 3 years.
I somehow held a miserable job for a year and saved up basically all my money so I could see a doctor for my chronic pain. Those visits were unsuccessful and my pain is still there all the day, and now I'm broke, depressed and no way I could put myself through another miserable job.
In my state there is no option for insurance for broke people like me. At this point i really don't understand why I should carry on. My parents always mention God, and I should pray, etc. but that doesn't help. A lot of times they just think I'm lazy, but if they were in my shoes they would've probably offed themselves a long time ago.
It's funny because before this pain started, I was succeeding in college, and had a nice career to look forward to. Now my parents give me pep talks like i'm an unmotivated teenager or something.
Honestly, do you think suicide is a good option for me. I've tried 4 years fighting this pain, so it's not like this is a decision of impulse. I feel like I have reason to believe this is an actual permanent problem, and I really can't go another year like this.
Honestly, thanks for reading guys.
>>16957222
>living alone
that's where you fucked up
>moving states
that's where you cemented your fuck up
as for back pain, yeah, i've had that before. it fucking SUCKS. so i feel your pain. i had it for 3 years, herniated l5-s1. i just powered through it because i sure as shit wasn't quitting work.
i did a mix of stretching, massages, steroid shots, and painkillers. rest as much as you can. if it's sciatica then look up streches to relieve the presssure. this shit takes time to heal. you can go to specialty doctors butmy experience with the neurosurgeon was shit. nigga barely even talked to me or gave me reccomendations and billed me for 1600 dollars for one visit.
first things first is to get an MRI of your back to really see what's going one.
if it's a herniated disc then try to treat it as best you can before it becoems ruptured, that's where you're fucked.
don't do weights or impact exercises(like running), swimming is highly recced for herniated discs.
but who knows whats up with your back, that's what you need to find out.
What state, because medical weed
Are you overweight?
How likely for a college sophomore with 3.1 GPA be accepted by UMASS Amherst as transfer applicant?
>>16957000
*how likely is it
>>16957000
Details senpai, what kind of college are you tranfering from? In state or out of state? Any ECs?
>>16958040
Linguistics department, international
I'm looking for advice to deal with crippling apathy
some background:
I'm 24 but have been apathetic for as long as I can remember
got into some college courses but dropped out of all of them from lack of interest
tried picking up a lot of different hobbies but none stuck
tried living rough for a while to see if it would help
been seeing mental health professionals for the past 6 years
tried mindfulness, cbt, exercise, drugs, etc. but none of them improved my apathy
sit around most days just doing what is necessary
relationship with my boyfriend of 4 years is getting incredibly strained
I just can't seem to find any interest or motivation in my life and starting to run out of things to try. I'm on the waiting list for electroconvulsive therapy and holding out some hope for it improving things. any suggestions of other things I could try would be a big help
W0w story of my life.
Start lifting. Yeah, I know it's an exercise. But when you see how much a fucking weakling you are, doesn't it just make you wanna do something about it?
>>16956787
it doesn't. I'm not the world's strongest woman but I'm not the weakest either since I already exercise. lifting isn't going to improve my health any more than it already is so I have no reason to do it
I'm 19 and have never had a girlfriend.
I'm also super weird and strange and I don't think it will be easy for me to get one.
How do fix?
I feel like nothing will ever fix this :(
>>16956177
More detail, what makes your weird and strange?
>>16956196
I don't know what it is but I always manage to get people to hate me.
I have no real friends in general let a lone ever have.
I'm not even sure what it is about me, but how do I even get into the friendzone? Or if it is possible I'd like a gf too.
>Just got out of a 4 year relationship, where my ex gf cheated o me
>Started using dating sites
>Always considered myself straight, never looked at a guy sexually
>Gay guy messaged me on okcupid about a month ago
>Looked like a skinny tomboyish grill
>In fact until I read his profile, I thought it was for sure a grill
>He is 19, I'm 21
>Told him I wasn't really into guys, but he said it was fine, and liked me enough to want to be friends
>Turned into gaming buddies
>Now I'm starting to get the feels
Fuck. He isn't even just physically feminine, he has a lot of girly ass personality traits as well. I don't know what to do. I'd catch never ending shit from my friends/family for dating a guy, but goddamn.
When he isn't wearing girls clothes (his roommate gives him all sorts of shit to wear, and shares her clothes), his gender is totally indeterminate.
What do I do? He said he is even more interested in me now, and I'm kind of keeping him on the hook, because I'm sort of uneasy about being with a dude. Although he is being very patient with me, and not pushy at all.
>>16955263
>What do I do?
Go with what will leave you with less regret. If you like him, and he likes you, you'll kick yourself in the ass for not taking a chance on him. Especially if you have an emotional connection. It's hard to find people that can be your romantic interest and your friend at the same time, and they typically turn out to be the best relationships.
>I'd catch never ending shit from my friends/family for dating a guy
Then don't tell them unless you feel like it. I'm currently in a hetero relationship, but I still don't talk about my personal life to family unless I'm serious about someone. It's not their business unless you make it so.
that's gay dude.
you can't have equal rights with women and men. they are nothing alike
butt with two men, you can share everything equally if you have equal penises.
don't be a prick and just tap that hot little ass, fair is fair, you have to let him put his thing in you too.
playing husband and wife is stupid
Ignoring all memes I'd say you go with it as long as there's nothing you haven't said that is bad. The fact that he's patient with you and you implied that he's a genuinely cool guy is probably the reason you feel that way. Not so much about attraction as you like him a lot. Regardless of your choice keep him as a friend.
How do I achieve better willpower? I quit seemingly everything that I start, and usually quite soon after starting it.
>>16957998
Get a friend
>>16958005
I don't understand.
Have you ever attempted suicide or used to self harm?
Do you regret it?
I have a few scars on my right arm from nail scissor gouges. Never did let myself get bad enough to cut, but I'd basically just dig back and forth with the point of them until I had a pretty deep bloody furrow. They weren't even that sharp. I'd also starve myself to the point of passing out a lot.
Nah, I don't regret it. It kept me from killing myself or making any actual effort besides a couple halfassed little things. And the scars aren't exactly recognizable.
>>16957940
I have some shallow scars on my left arm, and I lately found burning myself with cigarettes for every important mistake I made. I find the burning weirdly appealing, but also, it keeps me from killing myself.
I attempted suicide about 1.5 years ago, and I only regret it for the hospital bills. Otherwise it was a learning experience.
Idk I feel like she thinks I'm a creep. I tried adding her on facebook twice. The first time being back in December and that response was left for a week or so before I took it off, then the next time in February for like 5 minutes before I took it off. She's not shy, either. Am I overthinking this? She has over 500 friends and she doesn't post alot.
I'm in highschool. I'm a senior and she's a junior. We don't know each other at all, and I went up to her and later on asked her out. I told her I've seen her around alot and i asked if she'd like to do something sometime. When she said she has a boyfriend I said ahh bummer alright, and that was that. I haven't talked with her for a month and a half and I feel like I should since I don't think she has a boyfriend anymore. I think we also have some stuff in common. I've seen her around while hanging with my friends and we've made eye contact a couple times, I also don't really know how she would react if I talk to her.
Shes been dating this guy and I think they broke up. Is this a missed shot or not?
How can I start living life
You already tried to talk to her and struck out.
Unless the dynamics of this non-existent relationship change, you best devote your energies to more willing recipients.
>>16957856
Your chance is over, move on dude.
Do something useful, assholes.
Keeping this brief: Not being able to do shit is common problem on /adv/.
How this works:
>post some shit you are gonna do - clean, study, not beat your dick for 15 mins, whatever
>Report back every 30 mins, hour, or when you finish
>other people call you a faggot
Post your favorite pictures while you are at it, because why not.
>>16957766
>do laundry
>destroy the pile of boxes in my garage
>fap to my bangin hot new woman (shit is SO cash)
>hate all of you
I need to clean my room. Again. Will post pics
I am very lonely robot and people use me only for money.
When i stop providing they call me jerk and threat me like shit.
When i provide they call me friend but threat me like shit the second after.
I have no friends.
How to repair this /adv/?
>>16957744
I'll be your friend if you pay me
>>16957744
shift+del system32 or rm -rf /
>>16957744
Don't worry anon, I'm here now.
You don't repair it.
I went through the same thing. I used to give pot, glass for smoking, tons of stuff related to that, money for "friends". In the end I was just alienated. Can't buy true friendship. You can buy companionship, but if you can tell the difference you only feel hollow in the end.
Repair it by loving yourself, first and foremost. Then take baby steps. Most friendships take time to develop. People with similar interests might become friends with you. The life long awesome truly understanding friends and romantic partners you see in Chinese Cartoons are VERY rare.
That would be the Norman reply to this. OP its tough. I'm alone now too, so yeah. Good luck. Also, never reply to a tripfag, they feed off attention. Its kind of like feeding pigeons and wondering why they wont go away. They flock.
How do I get everyone to leave me alone? I'm depressed and nobody understands I just need to be left in peace.
I'm sorry to hear that you're suffering from depression. So am I. But that's why I can tell you that although I understand the appeal, "being left in peace" is pretty much the opposite of what you need.
>>16957740
Stop being an attention whore and turn off the pc for starters.
>>16957740
Stop talking to everyone you know and don't attempt to make new friends
That's what I did, zero friends at 23
Feels good. Friends are a fucking hassle, I just want to do what I want to do.
What classes do intelligent, artsy girls take? (Not looking for 10/10-attractive or anything absurd like that)
I'm a sophomore, majoring in English, and taking two English classes. Both classes fulfill a pre-req so it's hard to say if the more specialized English classes will have more artsy/attractive girls.
The other reason I brought up my major is that it sort of bars me from the more artistic classes in the fine arts college. I can take classes for non-majors, but they're few and far between. Any recommendations for fine arts classes?
I'm not a very sociable person so it's pretty difficult for me to find smart/artsy/attractive girls. And when I do, I usually fuck it up, or (I suspect) they view me as less intelligent than I look (professors and other people have frequently been surprised by essays and other similar stuff I've done/said); I'm also kind of a bland white guy. At least I think I am. I don't know.
I'm just a little frustrated because the girls most often interested in me don't seem very intelligent or artistic. Ironically, I'm complaining about how artistic girls can't see past my seemingly unintelligent and uncreative exterior.
I guess I feel like my external self doesn't feel like my internal one. It seems like the stark difference between my internal and external selves is causing some cognitive dissonance, or something.
I've tried going to a poetry club, but scheduling tends to be an issue for me and other people too.
>>16957705
The class of not being a shallow bitch.
Just date a guy.
Genuinely intelligent girls with genuine interest and talent in the arts are unicorns.
>>16957705
dress like one of those pompy douches:
buy the same glasses as your favourite philospher
get an absolutely horrendous hair cut
your going to need a flamboyant scarf
dont forget to wear mostly tan or woolen clothing
Now those girls will know you think your better than them and will flock
