Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1121. page
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I'm 20 years old, and still don't feel like an adult. Nor do I feel like I understand how the world works. Is this normal?
Yep. I'm 23 and I still have no idea what the fuck is going on sometimes.
>>16958328
I'm 26 and still feel that way.
Yeah, it's normal.
do you have a job?
what about responsibilities?
Age is but a number until you're caught with your cock in a loli. Just enjoy your naivette and avoid urban areas after dark.
Okay so this is going to sound really weird but I can't cry anymore and it's starting to worry me.
Over the last three years many of my family members and friends have died, I went through a bad divorce, and had to build my life up again from scratch. Somewhere along the way I convinced myself that crying doesn't solve anything and just stopped doing it. The thing is that now, even though things are getting better, things continue to happen but everything stays bottled up. Something is growing that needs to be released but as hard as I try, I'm unable to. I'm worried that once something else happens -like losing another family member- and I'm finally able to let go the overwhelming amount of shit I need to let go of will probably kill me.
When my grandmother passed, the last of my close family, I lay in her bed and cried for six hours. My face was swollen for days. That was almost two years ago and while I have been able to shed a few tears since then at other funerals and such, I haven't been able to really cry for more than 20 seconds or so at a time.
Is this some thing people just grow out of? If not, how can it be fixed? I just really need a good cry. Thinking about sad shit doesn't help.
You don't need a really good "cry"
Channel your frustration into something more productive
>>16958240
That's what I've been doing but now I'm depressed. It feels like this is holding me back
>>16958318
If it didn't work the first time you cried for 6 hours, why do you think round two will work?
All you're doing is chasing the feeling, chasing that high like a degenerate gambler. Play a different game, this ones not for you.
How does one get lifetime disability?
I have known and know lots of people on it and they are in no way physically disabled and dont seem that messed up mentally.
>>16958206
First you need a doctors note that says you are some how to so excited degree disabled. Then get a lawyer to take that note and say that this will affect the rest of your life and that you need money to support yourself because your disability limits your capacity to support yourself
>>16958238
> some how to so excited degree disabled.
WhAt does this mean?
Get a doctors note saying i have a mental
Illness?
>>16958254
Mental illness, chronic pain, joint replacement, life long medical condition, anxiety, anything that you would be stuck with for life and interfere with your ability to work
used to go to the gym, cancel led membership out of laziness.
grades are hugely up and down, failing Psychology and I basically have the Easter break to consolidate and get things back on track. Doable in theory, provided I work for it. English Lit I'm doing okay in.
wanting to change my life, have a rigorous diet/exercise regime, feel like this rigor will beget effective revision and generally make me a better person.
father doesn't trust me going out this close to final exams, since I screwed up and got U's in my January mocks, again due to laziness. I understand his point - I can't jeopardise a university place.
do I get the gym membership, or wait till summer?
Yes.
And shape up kid, if you are struggling at this point in life, just give up because the real obstacles are way harder than this.
Just revise, man. The gym is always going to be there and if you absolutely must get back into it then use it to relax rather than procrastinate.
This is coming from a guy who lifts and got into uni after revising the night before for their finals. My grades were not fantastic (B, B, C) but if I could go back I would revise during this break and step my game up.
>>16958236
Agreed. Revise and focus now, education is important. Looking like an Italian nigger from Jersey Shore can wait.
I am quite introverted, and I don't really try to impress anyone. I am just being the bi-polar, introverted me. I am a girl, by the way.
So there is this girl, let's call her Lo. She is an absolute socialite and she double crossed me and my closest friends on various ocassions.
I noticed that my boyfriend has recently started seeing her behind my back, and every time I told him that I really don't like that he is hanging out with her so much (more than with me), he says I am either too controlling or overreacting. I am just quite insecure about it.
So, here it is. Lo fucks her best friend's boyfriend. Boom, sudden end to their friendship, absolute drama and disaster all across the college. She decides to "lash out" to my boyfriend about everything.
I am very annoyed at this point, so I decide to help her out so that she leaves him alone. He still thinks I am overreacting and controlling.
Three weeks later boyfriend suddenly leaves me, and all I see is Facebook, Snapchat and everything else is filled with Lo and my current ex doing everything together, anytime I go to a cafe I see them together.
I asked him to get back, but he said it is out of the question. His attitude towards me changed very quickly, like less than a week he was already totally indifferent towards me. Zero fucks given.
Hurts a lot, especially to know that he was ditching her for me. I am just too tired to fight, and I love him enough to let him go and e happy with someone else.
Did he just leave me for her? Is it possible that he cheated?
Yes, and yes
>>16958078
Was it justifiable, on my behalf to tell him that I didn't like the way he was acting?
Yes and yes.
You are better off without him.
![b1769b87348c9682fbb4ac9686b95e11[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/2XNem6g.jpg "b1769b87348c9682fbb4ac9686b95e11[1]")
How can i make my girlfriend feel comfortable with the way she looks?
Shes a hottie but she keeps on asking if her skin looks shit or if shes got thick ankles.
GIRLS PLEASE ANSWER
-------------------------
how has a male ever made you so feel so comfortable with yourself, a negative self image never once crossed your mind once while you were with him?
Pic not really related?
As futile as skoll chasing the sun
Tell her to relax. Just because she wants to look pretty with everyon, why can she just accept the fact she a hot bitch who is with a man.
Idk. But to me. Women whi wears nakeups seems to be alone and just want to be feelin good.
As a girl who has dealt with massive insecurities, the only person who was able to help was myself and my therapist. No amount of compliments helps really, at my worst points I would think people were lying or trying to get something from me, or simply being nice. She needs to work towards confidence herself, you can be supportive of this but you probably won't make a big difference if she doesn't make an effort or see it as a problem.
Smoking weed for the first time tomorrow but I've got a flight to catch on Monday. This is my first time flying so I don't know the procedure, but will I run into any issues? Like if I still had weed in my system or? Only flying to another state. Am ausfag.
>>16957993
Just do it, remember to use the same clothes too.
It should leave your system in 3-7 days, so you do the math. You wont have any side effects and the airport security cant really tell if you smoked unless they test you or you tell them.
Yes, all flights require a piss to ride the plane
I'm 20 years old and I feel as if everything is passing me by, I suffer from depression and I have no clue what I want to do in regards to a career, thus college is completely devoid of motivation. what do i do
>>16957855
start taking career quizzes and talk to a counselor
>>16957855
Maybe ypu just shouldnt go to college yet? Or at all? College isnt the best thing you can do with your life. Its different for everyone
Go dip your toes into the liberal arts without spending any big money?There's books and there's outside.
> 20 y/o fem
> does fairly well in college
> extremely dependent on people due to past reasons
> break up with a boyfriend of 2,5 years
> get in a new relationship accidentally, and very quickly
> I would rate myself as 6-7/10
> mental health issues kick in when I lost my job in January
I am heavily suicidal.
I am on Prozac, Xanax and Zorclone.
I feel like I am dying and I find no motivation in anything anymore.
Boyfriend left me for another girl, our group of friends seems to disintegrate slowly.
My ex (2.5 years) has been begging me to get back, but my family won't allow it.
I am going Erasmus next year.
I am too pilled out to study properly, I keep on having panic attacks in college and extreme anxiety, I cannot deal with it anymore, my family is completely unaware of my problems and when I tried to explain to them that I need to see a psychologist/get antidepressants I was laughed at, so I take the meds without them knowing.
Lately I have been heavily contemplating suicide, I wonder if I should really do it. I attempted 4 times before, but never took the right dose of whatever I was trying to kill myself with.
I don't know what to do. I feel fucking useless. I feel like I am not bringing anything into neither mine or anyone elses life.
Should I do it?
No, you should not. I am not in the same situation nor am I a girl but I've thought of suicide and what-not in the past and I'm just gonna flat-out say no. Live life to your own satisfaction, and if satisfaction is bringing others happiness go to a church and volunteer to help people. Life in the end really doesn't make much sense, and there will always be shitty times, but I don't think you should kill yourself. I genuinely care. Have a good weekend, and happy Easter.
>>16957943
Thank you... <3
Perhaps the volunteering is a good idea...
>>16957814
6-7 how do we know ur not just hallucinating that.
Been noticing a lot of strange things. Coincidences that are too strange to just be that. Certain phrases appearing everywhere. Me thinking of things and people only to have them pop up in my life seconds to minutes later. It's too strange. I can't tell if this is real anymore. Am I in a simulation? Is the randomization of the simulation failing? Like a computer error? Lack of RAM? How can I escape? I can't live like that, if the world is going to be like that.
You may be having a psychosis. Try speaking with a therapist/psychiatrist
God I feel this. I've felt this like for a year and some nights its very strong like all the people in the place are simulations.
It's not psychosis. It's actually possible if not probable that we are living in the Matrix lol.
>>16958112
I guess if you want to get all philisophical, yes it is possible, however if OP is not sure what is real or not, that is pretty much the definition of a psychosis. Noticing patterns or "signs" around you is something I've experienced and I was later diagnosed with a psychosis. I thought my life was like the Truman Show. That shit is not fun.
I'm frivolously taking various entry level classes two at a time at my local community college. I'm really enjoying studying various things but I know it would be wiser to focus on choosing a degree.
I'm really scared to do that though. It feels awful to need to go back to the drawing board after immersing myself in a subject and finding out that it wasn't for me. I also don't have much of a social group and I'm easily turned off by people so it's hard to make myself stick with any particular students or faculty.
well what degrees does your college offer?
specifically what AAS degrees do they offer? if you can find one that has a decent tie to your local industry you wouldn't need to worry too much and can take one or two classes while finishing that.
As for taking classes haphazardly, be very wary because after certain number of hours your financial aid will be cut off or if you do poorly it's that much harder to bounce back.
>>16957824
link the college website if you're too lazy, i'll search through it. this sort of thing interests me.
>>16957824
It offers some good health care associates degrees that I've looked at but ultimately decided I'd rather not go for. I'm pretty ignorant of local industry and don't like the idea of getting tied down to this town. I've had discussions with multiple teachers and guidance counselors. One counselor said I should be a med tech, one teacher said that an AS in Bio could get me work at a close by University, another said she could get me in contact people offering Psych internships. I just feel overwhelmed and a bit paranoid when I need to make big decisions.
I don't have to worry about financial aid going away because I'm paying out of my pocket.
My bf said he would hypothetically break up with me if I got raped. We're pretty serious & I don't date people unless I legitimately think I'll marry them. I understand his thinking I'll never be the same person after being raped, but I also don't want to end up marrying someone who'll ditch me. That would suck ass. I think if there were kids in the equation he'd take them or reconsider, so I'm not worried about being a single mom and having the rest of my life literally ruined, but I'm worried quitting my job to have a jillion babies with him could eventually fuck me over. So am I dating a savage in disguise or is this understandable given the caveats? What do you think, /adv/?
>>16957527
I think his opinion would change if you were married and had kids together. Honestly, on some level I would blame myself for not having been there to do something about it. So I guess I can see how it might ruin a relationship. Best not to worry about a tomorrow that may never come. That's why stuff like this is better left unsaid most of the time.
>>16957527
Your boyfriend is a retarded manchild and you should end it now that he's shown his true colors.
>>16957787
That's an interesting conclusion. Care to explain your reasoning?
>get matched with some girl on tinder
>just text her hi there
>2 days later still no reply
>get matched with another one
>just write hi
>she unmatches me 2 hours later
I'm fairly new to this Tinder thing, am I supposed to write a love letter in my first message, or what is going on?
Say something funny, ask a question, something food related works best with women.
You have to put on a clown show to get these bitches' attention.
Personally, I find the entire process insufferable, so I've opted out of the whole tinder/online dating thing.
>>16957253
This. They think someone opening with 'hi' is weak game.
I have a pig-like nose and I hate it, it looks really bad in profile pictures. Any tips on how to change it without surgery.
>>16956741
-Have the local gym/dojo/martial arts studio use you as a punching bag
-Jump off of a 10-story building face-first
-Kiss a wild animal with rabies
>>16956741
You know that's why rhinoplasty is for! Accept that no.
>>16956766
Ah yes, I forgot that one:
-Headbutt a rhino
Is 4.5 years too long to wait to ask a girl out?
Yes.
>>16956028
Is that a general rule or is that always?
>>16956029
General rule. If the girl is 13.5 years old, 4.5 years is the minimum you should wait.
