Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1131. page
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I have about 3k saved in my bank, what's the best way to invest that?
Silver or gold.
Put it in a savings account or retirement fund.
>>16955464
Don't do this. If you don't know what you're doing speculating on commodities is how you lose your shirt.
>>16955499
This. If you don't know what you're doing, put your money somewhere safe that doesn't require you to micromanage it (investing in fixed income etc.)
I feel like I'm doing a Bad Thing but I don't know why.
Some people just ignite in me this desire to totally eat them alive. It could be a person who won't look me in the eye again after a fight, a person who is dramatically tired all the time, a person who is a big fish in a small pond and doesn't seem aware of it, a person who has prissy habits etc.
I just get this physical anger that makes me want to destroy them. Physically, mentally, I don't care.
I'm not implying I have that ability or I'm a badass. Quite to the contrary I'm a pretty normal person with plenty of flaws myself.
What the fuck is going on?
Toxoplasmosis
YOu are evil.
iktf anon
> naturally see the flaws in everyone around me
> instinctively drive conversations in directions that help uncover more weaknesses
> sometimes push people's buttons for kicks but sometimes just on accident or compulsively
there's nothing wrong with you you're just an asshole like me. I know I'm an asshole though and try to turn myself off sometimes. I've been this way for years and I don't see it changing. it used to worry me but I just accept it now.
>Dating girl for around 2-3 years
>We have several break ups but get back together
>Break ups were usually her breaking up with me some were short but a few, 2 in particular, were really bad
>Eventually I break up with her and she gets super pissed
>Spend several months kinda bummed out but overall feeling better
>Get closer to my friends who all admit and explain why they didn't like her
>Eventually my now ex messages me offering to give me back something she borrowed
>Part of me is 90% sure there's more to this than a simple pick up
>Literally all my friends and my own mother who I mention this to tell me not to go and are so against the idea that they offer to go with me or just flat out pick up my item for me
>Go it alone anyway cause I'm overly optimistic at all the wrong times
>Pick it up and of course she starts talking to me
>Tells me about how rough its been for these pass months, how much I meant to her, how much I still mean to her and how much I messed her up
>Feel so shitty that I go home and cry for a bit
>I start wondering if maybe I messed up and shouldn't have given up on the relationship
>Go back to her and decide we should try to work things out
>We start dating again
>In less than, I wish I was fucking exaggerating, five days she decides we should just be friends and that maybe somewhere down the line we can try again
>She says that she stills considers me one of her best friends and hopes we can still talk to each other
>Once again my misplaced optimism convinces me to try this out
>For the next couple of weeks I try talking with her from time to time but she's either distant or just flat out doesn't respond
>Decide to stop trying to talk to her and move on
>She message me asking if everything's cool between us
>Don't bring up my complaints about her actions contradicting a lot of what she said and say yes
>Turns out she started dating another guy the day before
(continued)
>>16955360
>She's suddenly super cool with talking to me and thinks the break up(the one from the beginning where she got super pissed) was for the best and that it worked out in the end
>We continue talking and she's more responsive than before and acts like we're best friends
>Eventually I realize she still doesn't talk to me that much outside of when her friends are busy or sleeping
>After everything I still feel like I'm her plan B
>I decide I should probably stop talking to her for a while but feel bad because we've been through a lot together and I shouldn't just cut her off cause we stopped dating
>Wrestle with the thought for a while
>One day she messages me that her boyfriend doesn't he like us talking and that she can't talk to me anymore
>I say ok and we say our good byes and wish each other luck in life
>After a few days I think about what happened and remember how she constantly said I was one of her best friends and how glad she was we could still talk to each other
>Despite all this she decided to stop talking to me because of someone she's been dating for 2 months
>Think back to the warnings my friends and mother gave me when my ex first texted me and beat myself up for not listening
So yeah I've got a lot regrets and bitterness from that whole situation. I feel like an idiot for not realizing that wouldn't end well and hate myself for not even telling her how pissed I was about it. I guess I should be glad she stopped to talking to me since its probably for the best but its hard know that someone you were so close to for so long is just no longer a part of your life. I've considered try to find someone new and start dating again but it just seems like a waste of time and I'm not sure I'm ready to go through the stuff I went through with my last gf with someone else.
Any tips for getting over this whole thing and any tips for getting back out there and moving on?
>>16955360
>>16955410
You didn't listen to friends and family, so why would you listen to any advice we have to offer? You're never going to get ahead in life because you're too unrealistic, you let things slide, and you allow people to walk all over you.
Block her, delete her and never talk to her again
Worked for me
I'm really really fucking up and in a fucked up situation
Two weeks ago my bf of 3 years broke up with me because he "wasn't feeling it" anymore, which devastated me. That same day I came back to my room sobbing and my roommate (another girl, lesbian) was there for me and comforted me and I guess I just felt vulnerable and in vulnerable state because I just said "fuck it" and we slept together, even though I'm straight and hadnt even been interested in girls before. That entire week we got really "friendly", there are text messages and pictures from work and everything, I just wanted to forget and maybe get a new life
Then a week after breaking up my bf comes back and apologizes like hell and I take him back without telling him anything, the problem is, I still haven't "broken it up" with my roommate and dont know how to. Ive been with her twice since getting back with my bf and she still thinks I'm single or trying something with her. I dont even seek it, she just comes to me and I can't refuse, I suppose Im still angry at my bf in some way
How can I solve this situation easy for everyone?
>>16955292
Why not have both ?
I'd say your boyfriend sucks and your girlfriend is taking advantage of that, and of you.
>>16955292
I'm so sorry to not give advice here anon but this is unbelievably hot.
I like this girl at my school and I want to start talking to her except I have no idea on how to start an actual conversation with her. I want to just go off and ask her name but each time I get the courage to do so I either have no opportunity to do so or something makes me feel like shit and forget the whole thing. How could I start off a conversation with her?
"Ah have nevah done this before, but what's your name? Mine's ___________"
>>16955237
I start it off with a comment or question. Something clever that is around you. talk shit about the lecture or teacher or subject or whatever. Comment on her shoes or style. Compliment it but make a little fun of it at the same time.
Honestly, I'd see if there were any tells of what she is into (music, hobbies, etc.)
Take one of those topics and run with it. If it's still smooth sailing, ask her the classics:
What's your name? What are your passions? Etc.
Then, if all of that was golden, strike while the iron is hot, and ask her out!
Honestly, my best relationships have always stemmed from just going for it!
Good luck, and god speed OP!
I'm not racist personally, yet I can't stop myself from judging every person I meet almost immediately by it. I don't remember how it's developed, but now whenever I'm in a public area and I have nothing in particular to think about, my mind automatically switches to making assumptions based on race. I've stopped going to places like /pol/ or /int/ which would reinforce those thoughts, but these have stuck around and are very difficult to shake off.
Any advice on how to get rid of this? Is it a meditation-type thing?
I've never really heard of this problem come up for a lot of people, so if you're having trouble envisioning it, it's sort of similar to playing The Game.
Youll lose very little by sticking to your own race especially if youre white
>>16955148
>The Game.
>>16955172
In what, dating? I live in the South, every place is incredibly diverse. It's not as if I could pick and choose between homogeneous communities. It's sort of fucking with my mind wherever I go.
>>16955177
It was unintentional, lol.
>recently discovered I am ugly
>realize that I won't be happy until I "prove" to myself that I'm not a complete failure as a man
>part of that requires me to have sex with a lot of high quality women, or just get to the point where they want me and it's obvious
>have gf who is not "high quality"
>love her, but will never shake the feeling that I settled/gave up because I was afraid to try
Anyone else ever felt like this?
Make $$$ bro and get a personality. Beauty/attractiveness is subjective. #first impression
and workout
>>16954862
I feel the same, OP. Except I think I am one step further, I broke up with my gf because I think I need more challenge.
I really want to try this out but im afraid that i will never be able to go back to have normal sex with women.
I also think that it will make relationships far more complicated (pegging, wuts dis?). Like sex with women is okay but i literally cant mastrubate without some extra... fun.
>gayy
nope. I would never be able to have sex with another man or tranny. Theres like a mental barrier in my head. But the idea getting taken by a hot girlll is just too damn good.
wut to do?
>>16954823
youll go back to regular sex when you realize actually getting fucked in the ass is uncomfortable
>>16954823
Hey check it out another gay homophobe>>16954823
>>16954848
>not wanting to get fucked by a dude
>OMG HOMOPHOBE XDDDDDDD
hetrophobe
My girlfriend is 46 years old and still making dumb choices, the current situation is she is in Community College with plans to transfer to a University School to get her actual degree from. She's persuing a Bachelors in Accounting with a minor in International Business and learning French as a foreign language.
We argue almost every day, I tell her shes pursing a garbage degree and to study for a Medical profession job or something worthwhile, i tell her Accountants in Los Angeles where we are from is a $13 to $15 an hour job if she can find one and Accountants are being replaced by Computer Software and that regarding an International Business Degree its as useless as toilet paper.
I tell her its not worth the time or the student loan debt shes going to take on once she transfers to a University. She feels i dont know what i am talking about and that i just dont want to see her make it.
*sigh*.......BAKA
>>16954759
The fuck do you care for? Are you paying for it? Not like you are married to her.
Besides, nobody is safe from the ass fucking to come with where AI will be in the next 5 years.
NOBODY.
Everybodies job is at risk. The next big bubble is education. It is going to crash down as nobody will be able to afford it with increasing unemployment and less skilled jobs paying a living wage. Education debt may be partially forgiven or even completely forgiven. Same will be true for extremely expensive healthcare. Wages will go down dramatically for medical workers as the glut increases from people thinking like you. Doctors will be less and less needed with predictive AI already being extremely accurate on medical diagnosis. Robotics and AI are being developed so that surgeries can be completely automated too.
Times a changing.
>>16954783
... cont
I don't know if you noticed what is going on. Savers are being punished severely all across the world and people that take risks and debt are being rewarded. They are doing everything in their power to keep the consumption engine going but it will come crashing down soon. We are starting to see it already in Europe. They are trying to go to a completely cashless society not because of efficiency and crime, but because of the ability to control peoples money and incur negative interest rate penalties on peoples savings.
The house of cards is coming down. It will all be finally culminated in the inability of the US government to service its debts any longer. With a complete lack of faith in even bonds, they will issue a new currency, absolve all the debt, and any money that you have will be transferred to the new currency for maybe ten cents on the dollar. The people that win though are people that hold lots of debt.
Your gf is taking debt that for now she can't escape, but an education can't be repossessed. It is not the worst idea in the world considering the apocolyptic scenario we are in store for.
>>16954759
What the fuck do you know? Studying medicine will take years and a shitload of cash which means loading up on more debt than she'll likely shift in the next 10 years. She'd have to work fucking hard and long hours for the next 15 years just to be in an OK position, by which time she'll be at retirement age.
Let her study Accounting and Business Management. It doesn't mean she'll be an accountant--she could find a job in any of hundreds of Finance jobs with such a degree. (e.g. Financial Planning and Analysis, Treasury, Tax Accounting, Tax Advice, Revenue Accounting, GL Accounting, Commercial Finance, Pricing, Reporting). There are shitloads of jobs out there for people with degrees like that, and will be for her lifetime.
I feel like I'm trapped, and I need help but I don't know where to start.
>I've always been a loner
>I wasted most of my childhood staying inside and away from people
>I never bonded with my brother or father
>My sister basically took over part of my life
>I didn't talk much at all, and I was always lonely
>The only thing that I did was stay inside my daydreams
>I tried to learn many things, but I've never mastered a single one
>I've tried to start many things, but after a day or so, I completely lost interest
>In my own head, I was a great man, but on the outside I was a nobody
>I was told that I was a good friend, but no one seemed to want to be around me
>I've been in a constant state of depression ever since I was a kid
>I've only recently learned how to manage it
>There are still times when I breakdown, but I make sure to hide it so that nobody is suspicious
>I've never admitted to anyone (except for a few) that there was even a problem
>Now I'm expected to be the best of the best
>I still have some of these tendencies, although not as severe
>I still haven't told anyone
This is the most sincere I can be. I honestly am lost and I don't know where to go.
Don't really know how to to respond but I read the post and I feel for ya my man.
There there? Sorry!
Find something you like doing a little bit more... or that you find a challenge (might help) and force yourself to stick with it at least for month. Seriously. It´s doable. You can find some TED talks on 30 days rule or challenge or however is it called.
When you find something you stick to, it helps with everything.
Depression (or similar) is workable too, but if you want to avoid doctors etc etc, you will have to start with yourself. You must like yourself a bit more, so force yourself to be the person of your daydreams (or alike, you are adult now)
Really 30 days challenge... take up a hobby... or five :)
Martial arts, Gym, any sport, anything creative, anything with people, the possibilities are endless and in some of those, you may actually find more than only a hobby :)
Hey op you still around and looking for help? I can chat with you and sort some stuff out with you, I have 1st hand experience with what you are dealing with
How do you resign yourself to having no choice but to work five days a week, every single week with little to no breaks, for pretty much the rest of your entire life? I can't do it. How do you do this without going insane or killing yourself?
The only way I've seen people do it is by working in a field they're passionate about. Other than that you can numb yourself with liquor and drugs or just use whatever free time you have on a hobby that could possibly end up getting you money one day.
>>16954554
Are you kidding it's easy as fuck.
Idk maybe I've just mastered positive attitude magic. One of the five magics.
You choose to be happy instead of sad.
How to become funnier?
I found a nice girl. I'm a mess so it won't work with her. That's ok, it's always been like this. I don't show it but I know it'll never ever work.
How can I become funnier? People often say sad and depressing things to me thinking I like these kind of things but I don't. I know what fun is, I can understand jokes very fast. I can also write few of them on the PC.
I literally suck at being funny when I'm out there hanging out with people. I also have troubles smiling. My mouth goes up but it doesn't look like an actual smile. I stopped watching porn for her, I also started again to read. I'm not fat.
It's just that she isn't very funny at all, so I can't follow her, I have to go first, and this is my first time.
I really need help.
Uhm
If you're both not funny, doesn't that work out fine in the end?
Shit man you should relax. You are so nervous about being funny that you block yourselve. If u think about some funny stuff just leit it out.
I use to talk to my self in front of a mirror. So that i can "practicce" conversations. I amuse my self a little.
The only trick for beeing funny is trying. Make it natural, if you want to smile smile, if you want to laugh do it too. Natural people alwais fit , because we naturaly want to be with people that is like us. So relax man and it will be fine
So I recently dumped my gf because I found out she had 2 previous sexual partners before me. We had an argument at the time, but fortunately we've been pretty amicable since then.
What was not too unexpected was that a few of her friends started having a go at me soon afterwards, which didn't really bother me, but what bothered me more is that some of my own friends were giving me grief about it. I don't see why they can't just accept and respect my decision.
I don't judge them for who they date or dump, so I don't see why they should for me.
Should I hope this all just blows over> Or is there something else I should say to them.
Cereal you dumped a girl cos she had sex before meeting you?
What century you living in brah 1800?
Not feeling much sympathy for ya to be honezt
A little more insight as to why you dumped her? Kind of immature of you to dump her just because she wasn't a virgin when she met you. Stupid, actually. Did she lie about her previous sexual experience or something?
>>16953659
>dumped a girl because you didn't get there first
Really? That's a really shit reason to break up with someone. How does this affect you, really? Did a piece of their dick break off inside her? Do they come to watch sometimes? Did she never wipe out the jizz? You're being a cunt about it.
I started a thread about this some months ago and got many interesting responses, so I'm trying it again.
Have you ever been bullied and/or bullied someone else? Were you ever able to stop the bullying? Are you still affected by it?
Tell me your experiences with bullying /adv/.
>>16950773
Follow my posts for a bully blog
I remember bullying this one kid at school. Must've been maybe 10 at the time? It was weird. It was a private school in England, so we all came from pretty well-off, middle-class families. Save this one kid, whose family were really weird and, to be fair, so was he. But he got bullied by everyone, even the teachers. Like one day the teacher made him sit at the front of the class and gave him some colour pens and told him to just sit on the floor drawing while she continued the class, and that he wasn't allowed to get involved or anything. I dunno what he did, but it was pretty fucked up. She was a cunt though.
So as a kid, it was natural for me to think "There's something wrong with this kid, I'm going to join in the bullying." The only thing I really remember about it is saying/doing something to him and seeing him just get really upset by it. I was with a group of friends at the time, and when they left I was like "Yo shit man I'm sorry". Like just seeing how upset he was made me think "No, fuck this, why am I joining in picking on him just because everyone else is? Sure, he's a fucking weird kid, but that's just jacked."
I remember going to secondary school, and I was like 14 at the time and this new kid joined the school. He got insta-bullied purely because he had curly hair. His surname was Harris, and whenever he turned up for school they'd all start chanting "Hazza" and chase him. That school was even more posh than my first - as in the tuition fees were about £3000/year. Nothing but a bunch of spoilt rich kids. The shit they did was savage, despite it supposedly being a "good school."
I used to bully this kid named Mike in middle school. It was bad enough his parents moved him to different schools. I felt really bad about it later on in life and spent a lot of time and some money trying to find him and apologize.
So it really finally hit me why girls don't like me. The advice was right, I'm not confident. I'm afraid to talk to people and I have had massive problems with self hatred and I just can't hide it, I emanate it and I want to change.
So now I know I need to fix it, the question is how. How do I build confidence? How do I accept the things about myself that I can't change?
>How do I accept the things about myself that I can't change?
You start by breaking this paradox.
>>16944422
You don't want to talk to people who are too positive you probably think it's too cheesy and you feel like you have low self esteem but in reality you just have low self esteem for others although you feel this loneliness and think you need a partner. You probably need one but you have not found the right one, maybe what you look for is a girlfriend when in reality you need a friend that thinks at your level so you can both relate and fill in what you think is missing after being yourself with your friend you will be confident with yourself even if u let others down but you just care about yourself possibly the best way to go for when you care for yourself u care for others and then people will find you interesting in your own unique way....hang on tight with yourself or just losen up a bit for what awaits of discovering your own identity
>>16944422
There's a Rodgers and Hammerstein song "Whistle a Happy Tune". Listen to it.
In essence it says that if you act as if you're confident, you'll trick yourself into feeling confident.
