Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1064. page
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So theres this girl that i like but its really complicated. So we met back in august and i told her i liked her in october but she says she doesnt wanna date me. thruout the months its been progressing and now it is to the point where we hug and kiss on a daily basis, call eachother honey, babe, love, sweetheart, say i love you every day, hang out alot, have 4 hour phone calls and she always sits on my lap everywhere. All our friends constantly ask us why were not dating and the response we always give is cuz its complicated. Just recently i asked her again why we werent dating and i got "i dont wanna date you now. Maybe next year(school year) idk". What do i do? We act like we are dating but we say we are not but its like shes sending mixed signals. What do about it? Advice?
I was in this situation for like 2 years. I dated a girl for 3 years then we went on "break" but kept secretly seeing each other and fucking. Every time I asked her if we could be in a relationship again she would say no. Best advice I can give? GTFO. She will keep playing this game. She is manipulating you. Its not fair to you and this is a hard cycle to get out of. You sound young and I know fooling around is hard to break, but for your future and yourself you just gotta let go man.
OP back. See with her theres this cycle. She sits there leads me on then when i think i get somewhere i get slammed right back into the friendzone. There was a point where she started drama so i kinda backed out from talking to her and i only spoke to her when i could but then she said that she missed talking to me. >>16994020 i dont know weather to keep trying with her or to just drift away from her.
I love being with her and i kinda dont wanna leave her but on the same token i want whats best for me
>>16994043
Dont get wrapped around her finger OP. Sounds like she has some real issues and shes using you without having to commit. I was a lot like that and its a shitty feeling. Gotta be your own man, man. If shes leading you on this hard Id basically tell her to make a choice because you obviously cant stay like this forever.
This is a mindset that I am able to maintain. But it is often difficult at times. I can accept the fact that I'm stupid. I know I'm not a smart person. I get it. But it hurts sometimes when I see people and friends advancing through careers and just life, while they tell me and try to encourage me to do things. But I know I can't. I know the saying "you can be whatever you want to be" is a lie. I know it. You can try hard as you possibly can and continuously fail. Or maybe you're just not cut out for a certain task, even if it's something that you are passionate about. I've always thought a part of overcoming a challenge is knowing and accepting faults.
I've failed the last 3 entrance exams for jobs I've been wanting for years. Exams that you can't study for, they are just common sense exams. That hurt. I know people who passed and are working those jobs now and love it. And I'm still stuck at my job.
I'm not college material either. I'd love to be a commercial Airline pilot. But I'm not smart enough for a Degree.
Can someone explain to me why I shouldn't off myself? Why live a life when you can't spend it doing what you care about? Sure, I would understand that if you had a family, then maybe it wouldn't matter as long as you have them. But I don't want that. I don't want a family. So why shouldn't I kill myself?
to add. I'm currently working a job making $54,000/yr. and I have $72,000 in savings. So yes, my job isn't total shit. But I do not enjoy it at all, and I don't have any advancement opportunities
No one can convince you of something that you have already decided to deny.
That said. I'm not here to convince you. I'm just here to state my opinion since you are clearly asking for it.
What is the one thing that causes most people to be unhappy? Want. Unhappy humans are those that are never satisfied. They rather focus on negatives than the many positives that fill their lifes.
Everyday, there is always something to be grateful for and, this, happy about.
A wise man once said, "Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us be thankful."
>>16994009
I am thankful that I have a decent paying job, and I'm not having a terrible quality of life.
It's just difficult when you look up at the sky everyday and just watch airplanes take off and land. Wishing everyday I could be up there but can't because I'm not intelligent.
It just seems like it's easy for people to settle when they have a purpose, such as a wife and kids. Because all they care about them is providing.
But for someone like me, who will never have a family. It's hell because I have no purpose.
I have some life issues I need avice one, if someone wants to give me some advice/help/lend an ear then feel free. I'll elaborate more if someone responds
Pic unrelated
Here to listen and advise.
I'm listening
>>16993966
Me three
My bf just moved out the other day. I broke up with him because we were hurting each other, and suggested we try something new about a week ago. He didn't want to, suggested we try again in a year or two. I feel ill. This is the biggest mistake I've ever made and I want to throw up. I just want him back. He lives 2 hours away now. He may be open to visiting and staying the night about a month from now. How can I convince him to come back?
You ran from issues instead of facing them
All you can do now is tell him what you discovered and hope he wasn't looking to end it
>>16993620
>>16993563
>I broke up with him because we were hurting each other, and suggested we try something new about a week ago. He didn't want to, suggested we try again in a year or two.
i cant stop crying
I have to avoid church at all costs today, what can I do to achieve this? Give me your most shittest ideas,I will probably attempt it
>>16993543
How about you just don't go?
Step 1: Sit at home
Step 2: Unless you live in a church, success is yours
>>16993547
>>16993549
These. OP, are you forced to go or something? Kind of weird at 18+. I was forced, but I stopped being forced when I was 13 or so.
would someone please give me an exact formula to get a white girlfriend*?
it seems to be literally impossible.
*not white trash though. or a whore
The exact formula? For you anon, it involves drinking Drain-O.
Have fun.
Vote FN and get the attention of Marion by slaughtering some non français de souche.
Explain your situation, OP.
How do I confront my girlfriend on not being able to trust her? She's never cheated on me or anything, but I honestly feel like any day she'll just get up and tell me she wants someone else.
Now she
>Doesn't show affection anymore
>Every other thing seems like a putdown
>Says things that she knows will get a reaction out of me
>Says we have problems talking, doesn't try to talk
>Goes on about how all of her friends getting married are "goals"
>When I try to talk about the relationship she just lets out a sigh and acts like I'm physically hurting her
>When I ignore her bullshit start acting like I'm suddenly an asshole and she's hurt over me.
Recently she's gotten into wearing slightly more revealing clothing. Saying that "We both go to the gym, if you want to show off your body too that's fine, but I'm not going to respond to anyone who says anything"
All of these are clearly major fucking red flags. How do I go about confronting her on this bullshit. Doubt it'll go well, but it's better than being hurt later.
Meme as it sounds MGTOW sounds slightly better and better and life goes on.
Sorry to samefag, but it's strange. She's the kind of person who gets on my fucking nerves but I can't get over. I've been able to drop way less toxic people with no problem but she makes me feel different. It's been 4 years since we started dating, and there's never been any infidelity.
But goddamn, it is even possible to come back from that? We're both fucking stubborn, but if I confronted her would that even work out? And I mean work out well, I don't wanna be a fucking cuckold.
Self-bump of desperation.
>>16993393
>Doesn't show affection anymore
>Says things that she knows will get a reaction out of me
>When I try to talk about the relationship she just lets out a sigh and acts like I'm physically hurting her
These are some big-ass red flags anon, want to elaborate?
Long story short, my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me while he was completely drunk. I was 100% sober.
I asked him to look me in the eye and tell me that our relationship was something he longer wanted, that he longer wanted me and he did. When he sobered up a bit half a day later, he immediately regretted it and told me he still wants me. Deeply apologetic and kept saying that he made a mistake that we could move past.
This came out of nowhere for me. We don't fight and if we have problems, we discuss and try to fix them. This was my best relationship yet. For him to flip a switch like this was totally unexpected and unlike him.
The damage has already been done though; I'm emotionally scarred and paranoid that something like this will happen again later if I decide to forgive him and continue this relationship.
I should just end this, right?
Yes you should end it. Maybe next time look for a guy who doesn't drink :/
He was drunk. Let is slide once, but only once.
I never understand doing rational things like this when drinking. When Im wasted I never even consider making really really stupid or rash decisions. Then again, I only drink once a month. If hes an alcoholic Id consider either dumping him or trying to get him help if you really love him.
Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.
Avoid asking these common questions:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><Random insecurity>
Some do, some don't. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever. It takes hard work, time, and effort.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out. This is something we cannot explain to you.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.
>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships.
No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking.
>Brandon
Fuck off
Girls: what is your preferred name for male genitalia ex. penis, cock, dick, etc.?
>>16992985
The boloney pony.
Gf and I are both older virgins (22 23) and she's really tight. Like, one finger makes her eyes water.
This really really turns me on and I know honesty is the best policy but I'm not sure how to word this or should I just drop it because it'll send off too many creepy vibes. Honestly, I want to be super rough with her the first time even if it hurts her because when will I ever have another shot to beat up a virgin right? I want to tell her how turned on it makes me, how I've had dom/sub fantasies and 'let's agree on a safety word in case, but if you can take it just this once then from now on I'll be as slow and gentle as you want'
(but I mean don't all girls like it rough, it's just the first time kind of hurts?)
Then from there on like I said I'll be easier on her and really work on pleasuring her (been watching instructions on eating pussy lol)
So would you go for this or is it too rapey? I know it's deviant but I just wanna make her cry lol it's hot. But I don't want her to be turned off from sex forever either so maybe i should let it go.
what is it about the modern world that has led to millions of hikkis, grass eaters, FAs etc? This is basically unprecedented in human history.
And why does it only effect women? There is no female counterpart to millions of lonely young men despite what white knights may claim.
Some members of male species are no longer entitled to be called men.
grass eaters aren't lonely, they have other interests. that's the whole meaning of the phrase.
foreveralones are at historic lows and are simply more vocal and visible due to modern technologies
hikkis are a product of the weird overlap of low cost of living and declining real wages, so that it's shockingly common for older people to be able to support someone young easier than it is for a young person to support themselves. Blame the neoliberals and conservatives running the first world.
>And why does it only effect women?
what
>There is no female counterpart to millions of lonely young men despite what white knights may claim.
women are socialized not to endlessly blame their personal shortcomings on others while men are not. also pic related.
Because with women's liberation the top 20% of men now get 80% of women. You can either complain about it or work your way up.
Do women prefer athletic, muscly guys or chubby strong guys? I know someone will reply with "some women do, some women don't" but if you asked me what men prefer I could easily say that the majority prefer slim girls while men who like outright fat girls are part of a weirdo minority.
So which one is it? I don't buy into it that girls actually like chubby guys.
>>16992778
>some women do, some women don't
You're fucking retarded if you think this isn't a valid answer
>>16992778
That guy isn't chubby. He's obese.
On average, girls like athletic guys.
I honestly do not really like muscles, and I prefer skinny/slightly chubby guys.
>>16992789
Completely ignoring what OP said
WEW
LADS
Yesterday was Autism Awareness Day...the day when millions of people are asked if they're aware of their autism.
So, /adv/, was that funny? Doing open mic standup tonight and still unsure.
It depends on your timing. Us just reading your jokes off a screen isn't going to tell you whether you're funny or not
I dont know man. Honestly one of the saddest moments in my life is when my autistic little brother was 3 years old and he pulled down his pants in front of all my friends and said "Look a butt!" to try and be funny. Someone in the group said "its all fun and games till the autistic kid shows up" which really cut deep. Like he's never gonna be normal. Gotta be careful with your phrasing.
>>16992785
If a non-autisic kid did that I don't think I'd think anything of it. 3 year olds are fucking retarded. Sucks that someone present was a huge douche, but...they were a douche.
So hello /adv, I am going to cry my sorry ass to you again...
About one month ago, a guy I crazily fell in love with left me in the most insolent and hostile way I could imagine. His last words to me were "don't fucking touch me", so you can imagine how the rest went.
I begged him yo stay like an honourless vagina that I am. He just laughed and walked off his direction.
So, ever since that day I have been finding it very difficult to cope. I literally cannot sleep nor eat. I can only smoke cigarettes, it is my only fuel. I have dreams about him, which dont let me sleep. Extremely anxious all the time.
My girl friends seem to have given up on me now, apart from one, my closest, whom I absolutely admire for her patience and wisdom.
I find it very difficult to control myself even from little things like messaging him on Facebook, so I just asked him to block me - I think that if he is in charge of the block button it will definitely stop me from writing to him, making even worse fool of myself.
This seems to have broken some chains.
I have a problem with the recollections, as in everything reminds me of him so much I stopped going to college. I try to avoid him as much as I can, but subconsciously I keep on looking out for him.
I dont think I ever went through a worse break up before. I lost about 15kg within a month. I cant start eating again even if I try.
Please help.
Continued: He left me for his friend, I forgot to add.
It will get better. You can't really do anything except try to keep yourself busy. I'm sorry you have to go through something like that
Take no offense to any of this.
You seem needy, somewhat codependent and incredibly insecure. Whether or not you love him, you should have the ability to compartmentalize enough to avoid stalking him at the very least. You lack self control. He shouldn't need to block you in order for contact between you and him to cease. I understand loving someone who doesn't love you back, but it comes to a point when you need to question why it was difficult for him to love you. Don't recess into those bullshit Pinterest ideals like, "if you can't love me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my best." That's only partially true. If you love someone, and more importantly if you love yourself, you make active efforts not to be at your worst. Everyone has low moments. But assuming that anyone owes you anything is wrong. Stop focusing on him. With or without him life goes on and time passes. It sounds stupid but its true. You're putting the power of your happiness in everyone around you, your love interest, your friends, etc. None of that should matter if you have a solid foundation of self. To get to the point, every time you feel a negative feeling or thought in your mind, question it. Why does it bother you? What can you do to better yourself in this moment so that this feeling or thought is more manageable? Aka work on yourself. Work on becoming some bad ass mother fucker that you're legitimately in your heart proud to be. It'll be hard but either way time passes, why not use said time to improve yourself rather than wallowing. After a while you'll start to notice how people respond to you differently. You'll notice how little you care how people respond to you, you like who you are either way. Right now you have a choice to be weak and allow your feelings and thoughts and relationships to guide your actions and choices, or you can woman the fuck up and combat the negative parts of yourself and come out on the other side of this a baller ass bitch. Its entirely up to you.
“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me. For I am meek and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)
Join us for some live prayer and worship!
https://www.youtube.com/user/IHOPkc/live
>inb4 fight between Protestants and Catholics
>>16992535
He Who Is Not Against Us Is for Us (Mark 9:38-41)
John answered Him, “Teacher, we saw one who does not follow us casting out demons in Your name, and we forbade him because he was not following us.”
But Jesus said, “Do not forbid him, for no one who does a miracle in My name can quickly speak evil of Me. For he who is not against us is for us. Truly I say to you, whoever gives you a cup of water to drink in My name, because you belong to Christ, will not lose his reward."
Many Christians who claim to be such do not truly know Him. In the Bible, Jesus says, "So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it." (Isaiah 55:11). Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life, no one goes to the Father except through Him. These doctrinal divisions are due to men, and they are not of God. It is not man's way, but God's way, through Jesus Christ, the lamb slain for our sins. Jesus says that, "God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth." (John 4:24)
Then Peter came to him and said, “Lord, how many times must I forgive my brother who sins against me? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, I tell you, but seventy-seven times! (Matthew 18:21-22)
Officer Ali Perez was nearly killed while serving a warrant on a suspected pedophile. During a shoot out, Jesus appears to Ali and asks him to bless the man who was determined to take his life. The doctor told him that he would not make it. Jesus saves his life. He also forgave him who almost killed him. I may consider this is near death experience but it may be not. It looks like he was not unconscious at the time of injured. Whatever case it fit, this is great miracle. We all have one life! We don't know when we die. Do you know Jesus! Jesus loves you! He wants to spend time with you in heaven. It is time to repent your sins and believe in Jesus as your Savior. Then you can go to heaven and spend eternity with Jesus.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ys_eR6i4fGM
Fucked up and got my gf of 5 months pregnant. We're both broke college students and realize that the smart and logical thing to do is get rid of it. We had talked about this situation before and agreed that's the route we would take if it happened, but now that its happened it's really hard to go through with it. We both want to keep it even though we know we shouldn't. Any advice?
yeah, dont keep it
>>16992216
your bed is made. enjoy the rest of your shitty life
>>16992216
you can always have a baby later if you so choose. but you cant undo this baby when its in your life.
this would require you to drop out of college and work two really shitty jobs where you would virtually never see your child.
![166153488[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/53aHXOn.jpg "166153488[1]")
