Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1058. page
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Every single damn time I try to date a guy, this happens:
>meet guy
>think he's attractive
>guy invites me on date
>have great time talking to him
>second date
>guy starts getting close, maybe makes a move to kiss me
>panic mode engage
>secretly want to run away, don't touch me, get away type-stuff
>stop being attracted to guy, whenever guy expresses sexual intent just totally lose interest
What the hell is wrong with me? I find guys attractive, but I haven't been able to date one for so long because this crap always happens. This did not happen when I dated a girl, I wanted to be with her all the time and didn't mind the physical contact. Why haven't I been able to have the same with a guy?
Every single damn time I try to date a girl, this happens:
>meet girl
>think she's attractive
>I invite her on date
>have great time talking to her
>second date
>Have another great time chatting and getting to know each other
>two more dates later
>she suddenly becomes "busy" every time I propose to date
>she stopped being attracted to me, whenever I try to take things slow they just leave and go hunt for dick from someone else
See what's wrong here? Maybe it just takes more time with you to get comfortable around guys. The problem is though that guys don't want to take it slow because most women act like sluts so lots of guys take the hint and try to get into your pants asap.
You just have to wait it out until you find a guy who's also willing to not jump the gun or just get over your autistic panic mode.
>"hey it takes a while for me to feel comfortable enough with someone to get physical. if that's cool with you let's hang out again later this week."
why is communication so taboo these days
>>16997843
>>16997852
Even if he's almost 30? Would he be ok with it?
There's this barrista at the Starbucks where I go almost every day (since it's between my house and where I work) who's always really chatty and flirty with me. Seems like a wonderful person; sweet, funny, just the right level of nerdy. Unfortunately, this barrista is also spherical and makes the floor shake by walking.
A couple weeks ago, I started chatting with somebody on tinder who seemed pretty cute, but whose only had face shots (no body shots). We hit seem to really hit it off.
I found out these two are the same person. The reason for the lack of body shots, a few comments that puzzled me a bit at the time, it all just clicked for me that it's the same person.
And I'm just not attracted to people who are bigger around than they are tall. Seems like a wonderful person, but just not somebody I'd ever want to have sex with.
So what do I do from here? I don't want to hurt somebody who seems so friendly and genuine and cool, but there is zero physical attraction and there never will be. How do I let the barrista down gently?
>How do I let the barrista down gently?
Block and tackle
Find a new starbucks
>>16997801
Date her and make her thin. While she's losing weight try lifting her. Then bu the end you'll both be ripped to shit.
If you found someone you really love and want to be with that person forever, would you share all your secrets no matter how ugly they are?
I have very ugly secrets that I don't want anyone to know. History related to sex, plastic surgery.
I am sure that telling my partner at this point would cause all trust to be lost and lead to breaking up. I am sure sharing these things would have had very negative impacts in the beginning too.
Basically no good would come out of sharing my secrets, do you think I should have still been honest?
No, why would you tell anyone, that's yours. Unless they're going to find out otherwise or its part of a larger story I never tell anyone anything I regret or am embarrassed by.
Nope
>>16997691
>be with that person forever
how many people are actually together forever? and i mean in a realistic way. you'er what, 12? (but no really, 25?) what makes you think you are honestly going to be with them forever.
never assume that. its stupid. you havent known them that long, what 6 months?
if the secret is cheating they deserve to know, but if its just that you are a pedophile, keep it to yourself.
i dont share my secrets. why would they need to know? thats the important question
My debit card got declined at a nice restaurant yesterday and made me look like a tremendous fuckup in front of someone.
I had $48,000 in my account, so it wasn't a balance issue. How do I ensure this never happens again?
Use cash
Get over yourself.
You have 48k in one account? No other accounts, lines of credit?
A pussy is supposed to expand when it's wet, but if you use it dry too much, is it going to stretch out and become loose?
Does lube help?
No.
>>16997695
So it will still stretch if there's artificial lube?
What's it called when you only care about yourself? I don't mean in a narcissistic way, just that I'm the only one who's going to get me through my life, so forming connections is stupid.
Introverted I guess?
Antisocial or maybe a sociopath. You gots problems friend.
Solipsism.
>>16997529
Intelligence.
How does a short chubby dude with a (at best) 7/10 face, no sexual experience and very basic social skills lose his virginity before the end of highschool in June?
Fuck a fatty.
backpages
>>16997451
lower your standards.
>7/10 face
lets see it.
>chubby
you have til September to start losing weight. you could healthily lose 20 pounds, give or take. you can obviously lose omre wieght after that, but start now so you make a better first impression at college.
What's wrong with your eyesbrows?
>>16997439
very convincing/10
Attentionwhore/10
has anyone ever worked in a gas station before? what's it like? pros, cons, general advice? i applied to one recently and i'm trying to weigh my options here
I had a friend who worked at a service station midway through high school and a year or two after it, he seemed to really like it. Plenty of downtime, so he'd dick around on his laptop or read, then occasionally help someone. I think he had to change tires once in a while.
>>16997406
gas stations often get robbed. depending on what state you live in you might even have to pump gas into peoples cars
>>16997995
>you might even have to pump gas into peoples cars
You say this like it's worse than being robbed.
>have low life friend from the bronx who I catch up with every now and then
>is a pretty big dog to me but stopped speaking to him to 12 months but recently started speaking to him again
>I progressed and went to uni and he still does nothing with his life
>went to movies last night with him and on the drive home he started making started making belittling comment such as :
why are you at uni? why would you even do that? thats so stupid
>didn't dignify that with an answer being I'm at med school who is this weak dog still living low at 25
>as we arrive to my house he smashes his car mirror into my mirror (my car is parked)
>go to check and scratches on my mirror
>thinks its funny
>ask him wtf is wrong with him?
>still thinks its funny
thinking about slashing his tyres, does this sound fair or should I do even worse??
ditch him
>>16997224
What this anon said
>>16997224
>>16997311
He got ditched before and then I stupidly started talking to him
Should I get revenge on him (slashing tyres or other thoughts)?
If not, why not?
He's always tried to have it over me and all Ive done in my life is tried to progress
Describe your ideal mate, then describe yourself.
I'll go first.
>introverted
>passonate about science
>dependable and organized
>thin, wiry build
>glasses
Me
>shy and quiet
>kind and considerate
>a wide variety of interests and always wanting to learn more
>red hair
>average build
You don't have a type, everyone is compatible, you just gotta stop being prejudice
It would take way more than a post on 4chan to describe that.
>>16997070
Her
>a body that can change size a shape at will.
>prefect hair.
>bleached anus.
>literate
Me
>I look books
>and I like to fuck
If I'm wanting to do something every day to become extremely proficient at it, how many hours a day is ideal to spend on said thing?
I was going to shoot for 3 hours but I don't know if that's too much or unrealistic.
I'm wanting to become more proficient at math and basically go through the entire catalog of math options availible at Khan Academy so that I can place into really high level math courses for college. As it stands I currently suck ass at math and placed into the second lowest course offered at my college. A lot of pre reqs require me to have at least an intermediate level which is two courses worth in order to get to that point. I just want to place right into that course or ideally an even higher course and circumvent the whole thing
Silly question honestly. It's entirely dependent on the person. The best answer for you is to stop thinking about it and just do it. Set up something reasonable. I'd say you need an hour minimum a day, and deviate once you know how much you need. Don't start off trying to jog a year of material into 2 days.
You're not going to benefit from it. You're going to quickly forget everything you memorized. You're going to not retain nearly as much. Take it slower if you have to.
Especially with something like math, take it in steps and give yourself practice problems to do daily. Rather than setting time per day, try to set LEARNING GOALS. If you hit that learning goal early, do practice problems til you have mastery.
25
>>16996962
depends what you are doing. stephen king insists you have to write or read for 4 hours a day to be any good at it.
as far as math goes, take the classes, and learn. then go an extra half hour to reaffirm everything in your mind. but if therei s a course you dont need to do anything more than get an A to get good at it.
>what was it like losing your virginity?
>did you want to?
>do you regret it?
I had a two drinks with my friend as usual. End up in his bed, massaging me, taking off my clothes one by one.
I've always wished for a husband. I think I messed it up.
I dont remember. Or the next time, or the time after that. I'm terrified of physical touch so I ended up being totally blackout drunk the entire time.
Yes
Yes
You can still have a husband.
>>16996719
Why are you terrified?
Are you embarrassed?
![male-and-female-relationship-sign[2].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/Cm88tNI.jpg "male-and-female-relationship-sign[2]")
Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.
Avoid asking these common questions:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><Random insecurity>
Some do, some don't. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever. It takes hard work, time, and effort.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out. This is something we cannot explain to you.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.
>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships.
No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking.
>Brandon
Fuck off
If you were giving head and the guy told you "tell me it's big" would you be turned off at the insecurity or think nothing of it
>>16996553
The first one.
Well, after laying off dating for over half a year, I started dating again. It wasn't going to work out - and I think we both sensed it. She was moving to another state for grad school, and I'm going to be moving to SF for work.
My priorities are to find a job first and foremost. Girls, should I have fought harder for this? I mean, we both liked each other, but the stresses from being preoccupied with work and grad school would have been too much.
I'm not so sure this belongs here although I can't think of another board to ask this to and like hell I'm turning to Yahoo answers or something of the sort.
>So
As a college student with plenty of homework piling up after working on a play I have begun to nap more frequently. And at times I fall asleep quite quickly and think nothing of the matter when I wake. However on some occasions I fall asleep a little slower. And during these times I approach rapid eye movement at an easy pace and I notice that when I have some kind of phrase or song stuck in my head that I keep repeating to myself I begin to hear things.
The things I hear are sometimes beautifully orchestrated pieces of music, and at other times I recognize peoples voices as if they were standing right above me yelling at me for a brief moment before I wake.
And at other times in the past I have woken abruptly to the screaming noises of crashing planes and one time I could have sworn I heard a nuclear explosion. And recently I had my earbuds in my ears as I fell asleep and when the video I was watching to fall asleep to ended I fell asleep immediately, only to wake to the ascending and screeching sound of some sort of white noise.
>Also when I'm listening to music and it ends, I hear silence and my eardrums feel as though they might collapse.
I feel as though I can hear things from a very, very far distance, but only when my brain begins to function as it does when I sleep.
I'm aware of hearing loss and other sensitivities.
So why do I hear these things? Am I lucid dreaming terribly great things? It's a beautiful realization and I want to keep hearing these things, even the crashes and nukes. I feel like I earn some ancient knowledge when this happens. I wake with a tranquil and relaxed feeling every time. Have any of you experienced what I am describing or have any advice to give on making these things happen again, or perhaps inducing? Am I learning to lucid dream?
>>16996471
bump.. with /adv/ approved tits
>>16996471
>So why do I hear these things?
Probably just dreams. Just most people don't remember them so they won't have to ask /adv/ about them :-D
>lucid dream
It is when you realize you are dreaming and then you can direct your dreams to your liking. Pretty hard to achieve.
>making these things happen again
Google sleep stages and then you can try lucid dreaming.
But most of it is just not so scientifically explored area full of myths and hogwash. Hell we still don't know why do we sleep and for what exactly is it good for.
>>16996514
There is a TED talks about sleeping and why it is important, here it is, just the bits about why it's important that we sleep. Something to do with having to restore energy and brain function after hours of working. I believe the 'fun' starts at 5:00
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWULB9Aoopc
If lucid dreaming is hogwash, then only those who have experienced it claim that it exists. Like those weirdos who claim they can think themselves into orgasm.
And if dreams are so vivid, and the sounds we hear are just in our minds then why do I wake to them as if they were a childhood nightmare? I mean. I'm an adult now, these dreams have no images relative to those I had as a child. In fact I dream of images less often. Just sounds.
![katamari-damacy[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/lmKMV9b.jpg "katamari-damacy[1]")
