Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1060. page
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So, I've got a bit of a convoluted story and if someone actually takes interest in giving me some advice, I'll tell the long version.
Here's the short version:
In short. I want to be this girl's friend in a way where she sees me as more than a co-worker and as someone she may eventually date. I've never had a girlfriend before (or any real female friends for that matter), am a virgin and don't know how to properly deal with these feelings I have for her. She knows I like her, we get along pretty well and I feel as though she walked out of my goddamn dreams (she's physically attractive, but to all of my personal tastes). I'm 23 and she's 19. I don't just want to have sex with her. I enjoy her personality more than anything else.
I've gotten to know her pretty decently, we text each other, have good conversations at work and the like. The issue here is, she had a relationship end badly for her around two months ago, the time I really started talking to her and getting to know her. That's not the problem for me. She's told me that she's not interested in any relationships right now, but wants to be my friend, which, out of respect for her, I'm okay with.
The real problem is: I don't drive a car and she always has family obligations during the same times of day she'd be able to see me outside of work. She's comfortable with seeing me outside of work and doesn't seem to not want to spend time with me, but she has a friend who she said she sees "every day". I didn't really get an answer when I suggested she maybe switch up who she hangs out with, but she smiled.
My question is: How do I turn myself into the type of friend she wants to see outside of work often and how do I turn that friendship into a serious relationship? I've resigned myself to not bothering her much outside of work until I know for a fact that she actually wants to hang out and makes an effort to do so.
for all as i can see the only problem is to find right time and day when she's free .
>>16996971
That's the problem. She works the same days and shifts as me, the overnight shift. Her wake up times are sporadic, where as mine are more consistent. By the time I wake up she's either sleeping (she's forgetful and doesn't usually reply to texts unless she's there to see them) or already occupied with something.
To go along with her forgetfulness, she also forgets to take her phone with her when she leaves the house.
Just ask her out to hang out with a few times. If she finds the time, good for you. If she doesn´t (after some time), tell her to tell you if and when she wants to hang out herself.
Other possibility: find a nice event and invite her there.
Anyways if she doesn´t find the time, start looking elsewhere. Friends or partners, this applies to both
Hi /adv/,
My recently jobless boyfriend wants to move in with me and I’m silently freaking out.
We have been dating for 4 months, he’s 28 and still living at home, I’m 21, currently a student and living alone. We have both visited each other’s places, but definitely spend more time at my place because of the privacy. I’m pretty independent as I’ve had my own place since I was 18.
I met his mother and she seems nice, he has told me he still lives with her because it’s more cost-efficient. This makes me think if he moved in with me, he wouldn’t pay...
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>>16996787
Don't do it. Also dump his pathetic manchild ass.
Tell him he can move in once he gets a job, then it becomes a win/win situation for you.
>>16996795
That's not going to solve the problem, there's no guarantee that he'll contribute to the bills and rent. Especially considering he lives with his mother because it's 'more cost-efficient'. And there's also the fact that he doesn't clean up or cook and I suspect it'd get worse if OP let him move in.
How do I deal with this situation.
I haven't watched PewDiePie in over two years and I am pretty sure most adults don't watch him
I clicked on His videos because I was bored and I am actually really enjoying his videos
Would it be fucking weird for a fucking 19 year old to be watching PewDiePie?
I don't know guys... should I just walk away now or what?
Just be you.
Troll thread. Hide and move on.
>watching pewdiepie unironically
Keep watching and try to figure out what you like about it. Maybe it keeps you company, that happens to me with gamegrumps.
Anyone else here "leak" after they pee?
I can strain my penis out for minutes afterwards from the taint up and wipe with tp, but sometimes even then some more comes out later.
Ive had this for over 4 years now and Im sick of it, anyone else have this experience?
If you push on the gap between your balls and asshole it will force the excess pee out. Do this once you are done with your initial urination.
ye mang. just jam yuor thumb into your taint
>>16996745
I do do this and it doesnt get it out.
How to tell if a guy genuinely wants to talk to me? I'm oblivious. He says he's busy a lot and promises to hang out when things get in-busy ... or is that just a cop out.
>>16996597
He's not into you. Sorry.
If someone is interested in you they can make time in most cases.
People will make time for things that matter, dating is no exception to this. If a girl was talking to me, and I legitimately liked her and wanted to get to know her, I'd find a way to make that happen. Sounds like he's blowing you off hoping you'll take the hint to avoid the awkward convo of him saying he's not interested.
Hey adv,
When I was a HS girl I was sometimes shy/sometimes overly confident with guys and the people I was interested in weren't interested in me that way.
When I got to college I must not have been appearing available enough for people to show interest. Or maybe I wasn't interesting. Unknown. Anyway...
I will now explain a scenario that has repeated several times...
The guy is a little shy/nerdy, and if I complemented them, made them feel comfortable being themselves, they fell for me fast and hard.
The issue was that he didn't measure up to the guy I'd always dreamed of, he was the low hanging fruit, and I'd start to pull away.
It would break him, he'd back off one way or another, and I'd start looking for a new guy.
It almost feels like I'm some kind of social vampire, who brings to the surface all of these raw emotions for the guy, and then I leve them there to deal with it.
I had a long and rocky relationship with one guy.
I feel like the only people that give me attention are the ones that I can't be 100% with, and the ones that ignore me I can't be with at all.
I do this both with real life relationships and online ones. I love the part where I turn the guy on like no one has before, make him the happiest he's been in years, but once he's there...my work is done, he doesn't need me because he has more confidence and I can't rely on them to adore me the same way as before.
The lack of attention when I was younger also scarred me, making me feel like I wasn't worthy of having a person I was really interested in.
Also there was the issue where I felt ugly/unattractive. Having a guy dote over me does make me feel attractive and does make me feel more powerful. When we start getting comfortable those emotions go away though.
I feel existentially lost. I feel like there's no room for me to be who I am, I'm just a mold of what other people want. And there's also no way to make me happy, even if you gave me everything I said I wanted, it wouldn't be enough because I don't know what I want.
When my ex told me he loved me, I didn't even know how to love him.
I'm lost. It was my excuse for everything I did that he didn't like. It was the reason I couldn't commit and the reason I could never be his perfect girlfriend.
I also have an exceedingly...
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Think about what you really want in a relationship. Then go find it.
I thought you guys liked giving advice...
Hi /adv/ I haven't been on this board awhile and I'm currently in a predicament.
I don't want to be a piece of shit anymore.
I graduated College with a degree in the Humanities (SFSU) (I know pretty fucked) but I'm currently trying to find a job. What do?
Are there resources that I can use to help me craft a good resume?
I haven't had a real job in a year. So my experience is limited. My skills are a bit hard to quantify but I'm looking to add more value to myself to be more appealing to employers. Any advice on how...
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If you want a basic job (Retail/burger king) don't tell them you have a degree. Your degree may be useless, but your dumbfuck employer at whatever dumbfuck job you're applying to will see that you're "overqualified" for the position you're applying to.
I got my shitty retail job by making myself look like a friendly but enthusiastic retard. I omitted my Comp Sci degree and extracurricular work.
Getting a good job is much easier if you're already working. Nobody wants to employ someone if they're unemployed.
>>16996516
I really want to emphasise that having any shitty job is better than being unemployed. Its not even about the money its about proving your work ethic. What sort of advertising/marketing company wants to employ a lazy fuck that's been unemployed for the last year?
If you're good for money and have wealthy parents try charity work, be active and try to advertise and market the charity. If you make an effort opportunities will start to appear for you.
sitting at home thinking you're...
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this is completely unrelated anon, but how is SFSU? I got accepted to transfer but have seen mixed reviews about the school
My wife has been attempting to learn about politics for a few weeks. She keeps telling me about how great Hillary is... I told her to leave politics to more qualified people.
What do you do to teach your wives/women how to vote? I could just tell her to vote Trump but I want to teach her about Trump so she has a chance in intellectual debates/conversations amongst other women.
gr8 b8 m8
>I told her to leave politics to more qualified people
Grave mistake, remember that women are like children and that they will attempt to rebel in order to establish "dominance".
All you have to do is show her Trumps videos or videos like this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeGTeFT8AHY&t=13m16s
where liberals are BTFO and ask her serious questions like if she would house a potentially rapist/violent migrant? if she would enjoy her daughters wearing hijab's or being told "not to incite rape" like in sweden.
Loved but desired.
I'll try to keep my explination brief. I've been married for 8 years now, seriously committed to my wife for 10 (dated on and off before that). My wife admitted to me recently that she's never really lusted after me, or anyone for that matter. She claims that she just doesn't really want sex herself. Which is not to say we don't have sex, it's just I always have to initiate or ask for it (and I'd say I get it 60-70% of the time). I know she loves me, we've been through a lot and she's supported me. She's...
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Most people want to be desired, so I completely understand your feelings. If your wife feels that way, I'm wondering: how much does she enjoy the sex you're actually having? I mean, if she doesn't "really want" sex, could it help if somehow it would be more pleasurable for her?
This means she really trusts you saying such thing or she believe you won't leave her anyway. Which is good news for you.
>Is that weird or bad?
IMHO after 8 years of marriage you are lucky to have only this problem. Maybe she is the mystical asexual being the internet sometimes talks about. Don't worry about this much and keep doing what you do.
>>16996446
ahh its the 7 year itch. you need to romance her again and again to keep the spark alive.
remember how and what made you two fall in love with each other.
she doesnt desire you is a bad thing because you arent making you "want" her sure she loves you but she wants to know that after 8+ years you still find her sexy and will still find her sexy
What do I do about a clingy gf
>>16996377
Pass her off to a more deserving guy?
Most guys would kill for a gf and moreso for a clingy one id reckon
There, i solved your problem. Do i get a reward?
enjoy having a gf in the first place you piece of shit and stop complaining
Let her take care of you, it's what she wants to do.
Have her over to cook and vent all your emotions to her and enjoy your bang-maid
How do I keep things warm with a girl who is not on social media and can only rarely go out because she's busy? Or is the "I don't have time" just a bullshit excuse? How do I close the deal?
Go out when you have time? FYI social media keeps nothing warm, if you don't meet physically it's not real.
also here's a little tip: if she can't come, she'll propose a different date
Interested:
>hey wanna hang on friday?
>Uh I'm kinda busy because bla bla bla, let's do saturday!
Not interested:
>Hey wanna hang on friday?
>Uh no I can't there's <insert anything>
"I don't have time" is an excuse.
Time is a precious thing.
Only "important people" can alter how someone spends their time.
You just aren't as important to her.
I'm sorry. I feel for you.
>can only rarely go out because she's busy
You're a grown-ass man. What the fuck are you doing chasing after women who you openly admit cannot offer you jack shit?
Imagine if you had a job which rarely cut you a paycheck because the boss is too busy.
My ex gf broke up with me almost a year ago, we no longer speak and I've been with plenty of hotter girls since. But it still haunts me that she was so easily able to delete me from her life and forget about all the good times we had. She refused to speak with me and appears happier than she ever was with me. I've made great strides in improving my life and acomplishing goals since she left, but I still have this sadness that she has moved on. How do I complete the task of leaving the past behind?
>>16996333
Find someone who you'll love as much as her, it'll fill the void.
>>16996333
you never really do. every emotional incident sits with you for your entire life. it stops being such a heavy burden as time goes on of course. but its always gonna be there. i still have thoughts about my first 'loves' back in fucking highschool.
as for her,
>it haunts me that she was able to delete me from her life and forget all the tgood times we had
>shes happier than she ever was with me
you are contradicting yourself...
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>>16996333
stop thinking about her. yes its that simple. if you have a job lose yourself in your work
My girlfriend isn't sexy. I find her attractive, but I don't think I could ever find her sexy. I don't interact or look at her and want to ravage her.
You know how there are some girls who are just really good at banter and flirting and non verbal stuff? She's not like that. It almost feels like I'm talking to a 14 year old boy sometimes. But this seems to be the case with many girls, the ones that are sexy are sluts, and the "good girls" are kind of dull or spergy. is there something I'm missing?
yeah, you're missing your own projections and conveniently categorizing women to feed those projections. Dump you girlfriend dip shit.
No, some girls just aren't like that. There's nothing wrong with it really. Plenty of sexy girls aren't slutty and plenty of "good girls" act like total cunts. If your girlfriend's only disappointing quality is her lack of sexiness, I think you should count your blessings and just get her liquored up one night. That might help.
>>16996291
I think he's just out of the honeymoon phase now to be honest. He needs to either dump her or if he loves her then their love will mature into something deeper. If it doesn't then they probably just aren't meant to be.
Everyone I have in my life I pretty much met through "natural" means. You know, I just kinda went about my life and our paths just crossed. I didn't have to go out of my way to meet any of these people. I expected college to be crazy for this. I expected to meet so many new people, make so many new friends, but my first year is finishing up and that's just... not happening. I've made maybe 2 friends, barely anyone in my class even knows who I am, girls pretty much don't know I exist.
How do I get myself out there and... well... live? Life...
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>>16996217
you gotta put yourself out there. friends wont gravitate to you. even in college you have to be the one to make the plans. go talk to them. ask them to hang out. make a specific time and day and thing. if they like you tehy will think 'oh this guys serious' and go from there.
I've made friends at the gym. ive made friends on the bus. just by saying 'hi whatsup'. but it doesnt ALWAYS have to lead to a friendship. so keep putting yourself out there. anyone who says 'WHO IS THAT...
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>>16996223
There really isn't a lot to me, I play vidya, I'm into music more than your average joe but definately less so than your typical /mu/tant....... thats pretty much it, I've never really considered myself all that interesting. I never have much to talk about.
>>16996217
Honestly dude, you already have one of the better environments for this which is class. You have a reason to bullshit and small talk with pretty much everyone in there without them thinking much of it. Just ask someone that you're interested in talking to about last night's homework or what something meant, stuff like that and branch from there. This is a learned skill and one which I didn't have the first time around but no pain no gain.
The secondary thing is, of course, clubs. It might be...
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Here's everything I know about it:
-Alienware M18x(AM18XR2-8728BK)
-Intel Core i7-3610QM 3.3GHz/4.1GHz turbo
-8GB DDR3 RAM (1600 MHz)
-1TB Hard Disk Drive (10,000 rpm)
-2GB GDDR5 NVIDIA GeForce GTX 660M Vid-Card
Dell sticker; everything else = alienware
It has an admin pass word set and a lock on bios screen. Other than that the computer should be in perfect working condition. Is there anything I can do to get it working again or do I have to throw it in the trash? I talked to a couple people who said it was a really good computer, but they couldn't...
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>>16996035
Who is that smoking hot bitch in the pic?
BIOS password might be a pain in the ass, but you can Google it to figure out how to reset it.
Hard drive is easy. Buy a USB 2.5" SATA drive caddy online for like $5. Unscrew panel on laptop, remove hard drive, insert into caddy, plug caddy into your computer. Then format it so you can install a fresh OS.
Don't dig around for her pics. However jilted you might feel about the breakup, you're getting a legitimately nice laptop for free out of the deal. I call that even. Just wipe the drive.
>>16996043
my ex
