Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1070. page
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how do I know whether I'm not interesting or not attractive? I must be one or the other, but I doubt both.
>>16989820
>do people take an interest in you based on your interests
you can tell by whether or not they actually talk to you about them. the concept of 'interesting' is a bit abstract. having in an interest in something interesting does not make oyu interesting after all.
[post a pic if you want to know if ur hot.
>>16989833
I don't have real interests in things as in a I do or study them outside of work/school, just don't find much stuff interesting, probably depressed.
But I can carry a conversation and be funny. People tell me I'm funny all the time, but half the time i think they mean in a weird/crazy/clown way. I'm not "lol randum" but I am a little out there with my thoughts/process.
As for attractiveness, I grew up thinking I was attractive, even while not receiving basically any female attention (thought it was due to my shyness/standoffish nature) except for a handful of fat girls (I've always been pretty skinny). Now I figure in at about a 5-6, but like I said before, might be depression lowering my self-esteem.
>>16989863
you dont have depression. if you are saying 'probably depressed' it implies you have no idea what happy or sad is. saying things like 'i might be depressed' or 'i think i have depression' is just pushing yourself into a hole you dont want to be in. you're a normal guy. if you feel your life lacks certain happinesses, then go pursue them.
that being said, interests =/= interesting, but the two are tied together in more subtle ways. what really makes someone interesting is some sort of charisma, the way they bring people in and make people interested.
its impossible to really measure so the question becomes 'are you itneresting enough?" do you long for more people to take an interest in you OP? if so why?
>attractiveness
post a pic and find out, throwing out arbitrary numbers that you rationalize to yourself and from people you know or even /soc/ doesnt do you any justice.
even on /soc/ people rate when they want to be rated. go to a thread filled with 5s and 6s and everyones saying you are an 8. 8 is the most commonly rated number on /soc/
I've figured out a plan I am really in love with. I bet a lot of you could play too:
5 year suicide.
Commit suicide over the course of 5 years:
years 1 and 2. Drink heavily. Drink whenever you want, whenever you feel nervous or sad or angry or bored. Do not care where it lands you. But also read, watch films, hang out with friends or the friend that is yourself, make something interesting, commits crimes that are fun etc. All things normal people can get done when they are normal drunks easily. You can probably even work a min wage job or get welfare
Years 3-4: Heroin. Sleep in a gutter. Reject all wonderful help from social workers. be dirty. never work a day for them. never help any of them get fucking rich. find out the illusions. reject everything and yourself.
year 5. Die this year.
Why not? Soon you'll be 30 or something, and just working somewhere terrible with zero qts in love with you.
>>16989718
I'm on year 3, so far I'm loving the results. The heroin is awesome, I'm probably gonna trade my smartphone for a few squares so bye-bye 4chin
but anon I enjoy my job and come home and bang my qt every night.
I'm not rich but I have more fun getting blackout drunk once in awhile, not all the time.
>>16989739
love it. go teach a fucking buddhist a thing or two or something bro
My landlord evicted me. I cleaned thoroughly before I moved out at the end of march, but now she's saying I need to go back and "scrub the walls with a sponge" so that it's clean enough so that she can add a new coat of paint, as if it's not already clean enough... And why even clean it so well if you're just gonna paint it.. But anyway
She doesn't actually have any jurisdiction over me anymore, right? There will be no legal implications if I refuse to go back? She's a bitch with impossibly high, and often double, standards so I don't give a fuck if that bridge is burnt.
Why don't you just do it you massive retard
It will take you like 20 mins tops and that'll be the end of it.
>>16989618
I'm not op but why? Don't be her pet. You got evicted, it's done.
>>16989582
> Have no idea what country or state OP lives in
> Expects legal advice
Sit down with a fucking lawyer. Some even offer the initial consultation for free.
High school senior seeking advice.
A douche nugget snapped my purple pen for no reason, so I put the ink thing in his back pocket. By the end of the day his pants were ruined.
Should I offer to pay or should I tell him to fuck off?
His ass is purple. Lol
Go on Judge Judy
>>16989573
So you mean I shouldn't pay to fix his pants or replace them?
>>16989579
Are you a chick?
How do people decide in less than a week that they don't want you anymore?
My ex and I went for a lovely getaway few weeks back, and literally a week after he left as if he never cared.
Bit of bg note: I suspected him of cheating on me with another girl. Anytime I mentioned why is he ditching me for her, he would get very feisty about it.
>>16989555
SAme thing happened to me
>>16989555
It's pretty obvious he did some shit behind your back and you should press him on it. Assuming that you're femanon btw. Try talking to some friends about it.
Just don't assume all the way. He obviously did something. I'm really sorry about what happened tho
>>16989715
Yeah, I just don't get it. Especially if you really love them and they just leave you there with no answers. I really wonder if people who have different mindsets to mine have an answer to this...
I'm 26 years old and will be turning 27 in September.
I've been Suicidal throughout my life and every now and then space out on wether there is a whole point to all this. I don't want to grow old and fragile, to see my father and mother die before me.
I have a good job, something I enjoy doing. I'm also financial stable. I don't have a girlfriend and am not really that keen on finding one either.
I've already experimented with DMT at home to escape from reality last year.
After looking into methods of killing myself I've come to the conclusion that poisoning myself is the most safest option.
I'm looking to purchase a specific plant which is fast acting and leads to heart failure.
The only thing I am really scared about is what lyes on the other side.
I want to know from your experiences. Wether it is suicide, depression, growing old,dealing with various methods.
bump..
Have you ever tried CBT or DBT? What about SSRIs, SNRIs, NDRIs, TCAs, and other assorted antidepressants? If you've tried all that, what about ECT, rTMS, and vagus nerve stimulation?
I've been going down the list of treatment options for years now and am currently getting my brain shocked. 20th treatment is on Monday, wheee!
>>16989557
Im not on any depressants. I've heard a lot of things about them making things worse.
I think the state I am at the moment is fine.
Brain shocking? thats a thing?
>tfw prime time to lose v card is 15-18 because that's when everyone is still a virgin so nobody is good at sex and everyone either talks less shit about how you do in bed or if they do nobody believes them
>tfw 20 and everyone is past that but me so even if I did have sex I'd just get made fun of being terrible at it/remaining a virgin longer than everyone else and probably never have sex again
What is the best way to deal with this?
>>16989323
It doesn't fucking matter. Stop making a big deal out of it. It will happen when it happens.
I didn't have sex till I was 22. Guess what, nothing changed, and no one cares.
>>16989421
I'm 22 now, still a virgin. I've been dating a girl for a little while and were probably going to have sex soon. Have a question, did you tell her before hand?
I know sex is just a small component of a relationship, but it is frustrating when my boyfriend and I want different things from sex. My boyfriend is getting pretty serious about our relationship but I'm not sure how to deal with our sexual compatibility.
>bf was my first bf (first kiss, etc.)
>been dating for 2 years
>bf has talked about wanting to marry me
>initially in our relationship he was really affectionate and wanted to be physical all the time
>now we are very close and in many ways I see him as a best friend
>however sex happens rarely now
>have a high sex drive and have to beg bf to have sex and he often comes up with excuses not to
>he mostly only gets turned on when I refuse him for some reason
>he started to say he think he's into raping me (half-jokingly, but it's honestly something I've noticed about him and I have started to pretend like I don't want sex in order for him to have sex with me)
>because of this, sex ends up being really frustrating
>bf can tell I'm annoyed and it bothers him now too because he doesn't like disappointing me
>now I'm worried because I love bf but I'm not sure how to fix this
I don't feel like it's fair to constantly pester my boyfriend about sex so I don't know how to deal with this situation. It feels like we're best friends but I wonder if he's even into me sexually anymore. It's only been two years and the sex is really starting to get to me. What should I do? Should I be concerned or is this normal?
>>16989176
OP, get off your computer and talk to your bf.
only you two can save this relationship
Sex does usually decline after some time, that is normal and why there are shit tons of books and online blogs about spicing things up.
My suggestion though is you both sit down and have a talk about the sex life, and you tell him honestly that it's really starting to effect you. Neither of you are mind readers, so you need communication going on.
Now, you don't need to fix this over night. Expecting a change in a day or even a few days puts a lot of pressure on your partner and might make him too nervous to try for fear of failure.
What me and my fiance did was both spend a good week or more figuring out what it was we both enjoyed in sex, what we may like or were willing to try, and what we didn't like AND wouldn't do-key issue there being a huge difference between dislike, and something you absolutely won't do.
You both are going to have to compromise a little and both will probably end up trying something you don't really like in order to please the other, so they in turn can do something they don't really like in order to please you, and hopefully you two will figure out more of what you BOTH like.
Sex is very physical and wanted at the beginning of a relationship because you both are so new and into each other, but it gets boring after a while. So now is the perfect time to start talking to each other, start ENCOURAGING each other, and figuring out other things you enjoy besides just plain ol vanilla.
Maybe it isn't even the rape aspect that your boyfriend enjoys, but maybe a little bit of bitchiness from your side, or simply making him work to get something he can't have. We all like to try to get what we can't have ;)
>>16989192
I did talk with him about it! It just seems to make him upset. Of course the two of us need to work it out together, but I was wondering if /adv/ had any insight into how to confront this issue.
>>16989195
Thanks, that's very good advice. I'm glad I'm not the only one going through this!
I particularly like your suggestion about how to approach the discussion.
I've actually brought this up with him before and it helped for a short time but I guess we need to think more about how to compromise. He is really into vanilla stuff but maybe I can try to delve into why he likes the rape aspect and find a way to work that into our sex life.
pick unrelated.
How would I go about pursuing a relationship with someone I have known online and already spend a lot of time with?
If it was in person I would just ask if they wanted to go do something together or if I just met them online if they wanted to watch something/ play a game together, get to know each other. but with our current friendship being limited only to spending time together online I don't know how a relationship would change how we interact unless it immediately jumped to sexy stuff.
hour later no reply bump.
two hours later, no replies, the situation is looking grim, i'll bump the thread and see if i can get a catch.
>>16989094
Still here?
How can I temporarily shrink a penis but still be able to have said penis get off? asking for a friend
get fat. Your wee disappears behind the fupa
>>16989038
Is there a quicker method?
>>16989045
I'm not even sure what to suggest man. How temporarily? Why?
I have no clue how this would be beneficial to anyone
Guys, I have a question. My friend is doing some kind of a scam, and offered me a half of earnings. Basically, I have to recieve money to my paypal, then withdraw to the bank, and send half of what I've withdrawn to him. My question is, can paypal take money from my bank account that I've received if someone fills a claim? I have my debit card connected with paypal. I just don't want them to take money from it.
dude he's scamming YOU. It's the old nigerian prince scam, just through paypal.
>>16989014
>can paypal take money from my bank account
Yuppers
But ive already made money. He sent me a few hundreds to my paypal from some paypal thats clearly not his, I've withdrew all of it to bank, and sent half to him. So ive got half money just for accepting to get it. Question is, can paypal take it from my bank without my permission if I have my debit card attached to my pp account
How long should you wait to text back a girl?
I am constantly having to "double text" because she practically never carries on a conversation. She herself has admitted she's a shitty texter, although who knows maybe she's just saying that.
One time I talked to her about it and asked if everything was cool, and she got kinda defensive and said that she doesn't have time to text "all day all the time" so I asked if we should quit texting, and I guess she misunderstood me and thought I was telling her that we were done, so she just said sorry it didn't work out and goodbye. Which was weird.
We're settled now but yet again, last night she just ended the conversation and hasn't texted back all day today. How long do i wait until I realize that she's not interested at all?
Text back when you get around to it. Don't overthink it.
>>16988923
Are you her boyfriend?
>>16988941
No, we're talking and flirting right now. We've gone on one date and we're supposed to go on another one this Wednesday
I already tried /fit/ and they yelled at me because I don't wanna get swol.
Hey guys I was wondering if you guys could help me create a diet and exercise plan to lose weight AND achieve a more feminine looking body. I'm sick of being a fat fuck and it's wearing on my mental state. I'm 18 years old, 5'3", Approx 250lbs. You'd figure I'd look like a bowling ball right? For some weird reason I wear it alright aside from the fact I look like I'm melting when I take off my clothes. I have wider set shoulders and wider set hips. I think I may have low estrogen levels but I'm getting on birth control soon and my doc said it would help with that. I have taken several blood tests and do not have diabeetus, or any weight related disease. For my diet I would like something that I can stick to and not just starving myself. I'd like it to be a lifestyle change. Exercising I'd like something that would help with weight loss but also specific workouts to help achieve a more feminine shape. I look like a box. Can post pics if that would help. My mental health is shitty. Depression makes it hard to not binge. I'm in an environment that will help however. I'm done with being a sad slug monster. If you guys could help out that would be great.
>>16988811
>5'3"
>250 lbs.
Goodness gracious. First off, your first goal shouldn't be to have a feminine body. You should focus on losing weight and being healthy, otherwise you won't live long enough to reach that goal.
Restrict yourself to a certain amount of calories a day and cut out a significant amount of sugar, salt, and fats. It doesn't have to be cold turkey, but for example if you drink soda, restrict yourself to one a day for the first week, one every three days the next week, etc. till you don't drink soda at all. Same for other sweets. Basic stuff, but it's harder to execute if just stop cold turkey.
Also you'll fail unless you really, really want this. If you just think it would be nice, you won't make it. Focus on diet, all while doing hardcore cardio and some weights to get rid of the fat.
>>16988811
I would recommend baby steps. Start off slow.
No soda. No fast food. Set a time for each meal of the day, and nothing past 7 P.M. Drink lots of water. Lots of water. Lots. Of. Water.
Go for walks. Maybe 20-25 minutes everyday. Slowly start amping up. After a couple of weeks of walking. Try jogging for 10-15 minutes.
It's a process. There are no true and tried methods. The biggest thing, and I mean it, it's to not give up. If you fuck up once, don't stop. Keep going.
Obtaining the body shape demanded by society is _not_ your goal. Your goal is to eat healthier and be more satisfied with your self image.
What's your typical diet at the moment?
Im a 20 year old female virgin, i feel gross asking this but iv been having the urge to give a guy a blow job for awhile now and i want to actually go through with it. However I want it to be an intimate moment, i dont want some random guy online or at a bar because it feels dirty and slutty and yes i know thats a little stupid but its just how i feel. Iv been thinking about it for awhile and i specifically want one of my co-workers or to a slightly lesser extent one of my friends because i feel its more comfortable and meaningfully which is a bigger turned on in an intimate sort of way. However my biggest fear is the guy bragging about it.
I want it to be just a little intimate moment between only us and the thought of them talking about it horrifies me. I dont know how i should i approach this situation. I have no sexual experience, i dont know how to approach the person with the proposition. I was thinking of getting either my friend or co-worker to drive me home and from there id bring it up, but im clueless to what exactly to say since i have no sexual experience except kissing and a big part of the turn on for me is to kind surprise him and get him turned on as much as possible. Mind you i dont want to have actual sex, i know it sounds weird but i want to keep my "virginity" for my husband, i just want to "suck a dick" and thats it
Can someone, specifically a guy tell me the honest opinion if you think my co-worker and friend would talk about it as well as how i should go about this? I can give more info if needed. I really want to "do it" but dont want my work or friends finding out because i know guys talk.
Additional details below
>>16988762
You're a fucking retard. You're one of those half brain twits that's going to be with men who lie straight to your face and then dump you out of the blue
>>16988781
aww...
I... i said i just wanted to experience it with someone i can be intimate with i didn't want to make it a thing or date them, the guys i like aren't even like that. I wanted to maintain my.. idk
>>16988762
> having the urge to give a guy a blow job
> I want it to be an intimate moment
> i dont want some random guy
2nd and 3rd statements are in conflict. This is why men have problems understanding women :-D
> thought of them talking about it horrifies me
Yea, giving your coworkers random blowjobs WILL have a consequences.
So you just go and get a bf by any means and then you can have your intimate moment without feeling like a slut.
Or you can just be a slut and give blowjob some random dude. Just make sure they don't know you. Rumors spread fast.
Why is it so difficult to lose one's virginity?
>>16988637
Because you're trying to do it with your dick instead of your shaved, scrubbed butthole.
it's not if you're not a fat beta
When you want to lose something
Don't look in the last place you lost it.
It's never there.
