Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1075. page
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Anyone else get jealous of people who grew up in religious/ traditional families? It seems like where I'm from very few families are happy and stay together, largely because they are conditioned to think there will always be something better for them if they leave their spouse as soon as things get tough. My parents split when I was young and I had to go between their houses constantly because they felt that joint custody was the only fair solution, regardless of how miserable travelling between houses 3 times a week was making me. Out of my 10 closest friends, only half have parents that are still married.
I want to marry a girl with traditional values because I don't want to risk putting my own children through this, but because of my upbringing (both parents are fedoras) I don't think I could possibly have a good connection with a religious girl but at the same time I would struggle to keep on attending church when i find it hard to have faith in God.
Not really sure where this is going, so I'll stop the rant here. TL;DR feel that growing up in a progressive background has made me unable to connect with the opposite sex and scared of pursuing relationships.
The grass is always greener, man.
>Anyone jealous of people who grew up brainwashed into believing an invisible wizard in the sky who's supposed to be the ultimate judge who will banish you into an eternity of suffering if you do not accept him as the true lord and savior even if you were literally the most altruistic, selfless person imaginable?
No. Not really.
>>16985510
Nah
When I was a kid, the family that lives behind us were pretty strict Christians. They wouldn't even let their kids watch DBZ because it was "too violent"
I wouldn't want to grow up like that. The real world is fucking harsh.
I have been going out on dates with this girl for about 3 weeks. After the 5th date I asked her if she would be my girlfriend, she told me she that she didn’t know me well enough to say yes.
About 3 days later she has me meet her mom, her dad and best friend on 3 different occasions. Over Easter weekend I didn't have a chance to see her because she was occupied with the holiday. Monday rolls around and now she isn't texting me as much, I get short answers to everything and when I asked her out for dinner she gave me a "Maybe" answer.
What the fuck did I do? I thought it was pretty clear she was into me but now it seems like she rather not talk to me anymore. Is it safe to move on to someone else or could she just be going through some shit I don't know about
>>16985377
Sounds like her family didn't like you
Or, much more likely, she is butthurt you didn't spend easter with her.
Brah, it doesn't matter if there's some shit she's going through. The end result to you is the same. She ain't interested in talking to you. Just move on, and if she wants to talk to you, she'll contact you. The #1 trick to getting bitches is not caring whether you have bitches or not.
>>16985386
Thats a pretty good point, I didn't even think about that
>>16985387
Probably right, unlikely she will text me on her own
Guys I'm hungry but I'm too lazy to get up and go to the kitchen to get something, I want to keep browsing the interwebz. What do?
>>16985356
You can eat paper.
I saw shoenice do it.
>>16985356
Go to the kitchen and get an easy, filling meal. Stop being a lazy faggot.
>>16985361
I don't have any paper near my desk :((((((((((
>>16985367
But I'd have to take off my headphones, and then GET UP and WALK like 3 meters to get to the kitchen. HOW THE FUCK WOULD ANYONE HAVE MOTIVATION TO DO THAT?
> 21 years old and no source of income
> No family or friends to borrow money from
> Sold everything to survive now I haven nothing
What should I do? I'm so desperate. I only eat 1 slice of bread a day to somehow survive until I find something.
I think I am going to die of hunger. Thinking about ending it earlier.
Do you guys have any suggestions.. I really need help. I'm depressed and can't focus on anything.
HELP! :(
>>16985247
Apply for welfare and food stamps or whatever is available in your place of living.
You don't have to be on it forever, use it as a tool to help you get on your feet.
Suck a dick
Stop wasting your money posting on 4chan
>>16985249
I wish we had one. But unfortunately, they don't care about homeless people here in my country. I can't think of any other options. :(
Hi /adv/, disabled anon here.
I'm not sure if this is really the right place for this but I figured what is there to lose. I have a form of muscular atrophy and am completely disabled. I depend on my family for all of the daily necessities of life and live with my father. This includes bathing and going to the bathroom etc.
My dilema is this:
I still get sexual urges and have a desire to jerk it. But the only way to do that now would be to get "set up". But I am afraid of being upfront with my father because its obviously an uncomfortable topic. In the past, I had a caregiver who helped me get in the right position but that was over 5 years ago.
How do I get over the weirdness and just ask him? Should I even do it?
Easiest solution would be to abstain. No awkward talks or anything, and with time desire fades. Easiest way to do that is to distance yourself from porn or lewds or anything like that, wherever you may find them. It'll take a little while but worth it in the end.
>>16985156
would banning myself from porn eventually cause erectile dysfunction? I don't want to get into a situation where "lose it if you don't use it".
You're disabled, but you haven't lost your humanity.
Say you have something uncomfortable to talk to him about and that once you've discussed it, if he is extremely uncomfortable, you can both pretend the conversation didn't happen.
Your dad is also human, so hopefully he will understand and "assist" by setting you up.
Hey everyone.
I want to get contacts because glasses are becoming a hassle for me.
For those of you who use contact lenses, did you go to a local optometrist, or one of those "big" companies like LensCrafters, Visionworks, etc.
Which is cheaper? Higher quality, pros and cons, etc.
Thanks guys
>>16985054
Well if glasses are a hassle, contacts are gonna be a bigger hassle for you.
>>16985063
The only other option would be laser eye surgery lel
I guess I can have both, it wouldn't hurt.
>>16985054
I buy from 1800 contacts online but keep a pair of warby parkers
>>16985063
This, glasses are way less annoying. Especially if you have astigmatism. They love to rotate improperly. You will get laid more, but you end up wasting pairs if you don't plan ahead and it's always awkward to go to the bathroom and take them out.
Best way to do it. is keep fluid in the contact case ready to go, take them out and put it in the fluid filled compartments. Screw the lids on and shake. It's all you can do when you don't have fluid. Works best after you're done, just tell her you'll be right back.
Girl, new to dating
If the guy insists on paying should I be protesting or not? I go on dates fully prepared to pay for whatever I purchase, just like when I go out with friends. It feels weird and unnecessary to be treated, especially when I've just met the guy.
What's the appropriate response?
If he insists, go with the flow. If he asks, be honest about what you'd prefer.
>>16984978
the appropriate response is called the 'shuffle' (i might have gotten the name wrong).
its basically where the check comes, and you reach for it, and he reaches for it, and pays for it before you have a chance, and you give him a hard time, and he says something sweet about paying for a pretty lady.
then you use the money that you would have spent on dinner to do something afterward (like dessert, or a cab back to one of your places, or a drink or two or whatever).
some guys are surprisingly turned on by girls who go dutch though. my best friend was seeing a girl earlier this year and he would not stop bragging about how she insists on paying for her half of everything.
You offer to pay, if he insists you let him. If you fight him over it, you're pretty much fighting for dominance and it won't go well.
hey /adv/ my girlfriend of a year has been complaining of a sore back for the past few months and doesn't want to have sex often anymore maybe like once every two weeks, gets crazy mad whenever I say anything about it, and doesnt want to hangout very often or is always an hour or more late when she does agree to it. My question for all of you is 1) am I being cucked and 2) what should I do?
1. Yes
2. Break up with her
>>16984955
that simple? pls explain im mentally deficient
How do I move to la if I never went to college? If I get a bunch of roommates in the ghetto can I get something for like 650/month?
You dont want to be out here in southern Cali. Trust me theres nothing but racis whites, illegals mexicans every where, and ghetto blacks. Just move to the east coast, thats where im going.
>>16984912
I want the weather
>>16984927
well the coast is expensive
and la sucks
move to fresno
or santa cruz
or sacramento
but not bakersfield
take the train , the bus sucks
Well, where to begin truly... I know from a young age my father had told me I was named after a cousin they knew who had been recently murdered, and that I was the product of a misused condom. Quite the kick starter of a good life is knowing that you are not only meant to carry on the legacy of this one person, but that you also weren't meant to be there in the first place. Flash forward to the awkward point of every child's life, middle school. I was in sixth grade when I came home to see my father packing up his car. Being young I didn't assume that what he was doing was leaving, but that reality struck when me and him sat down inside. He told me that him and my mom were going through a rough patch and that he needed to have some time away. He placed his hand on my shoulder and told me to be strong, and that I had to be the man of the house until he came back. The trauma that set down on me didn't fully set in until he was gone for a few weeks. Not only because I lost my father for the time being, but I lost a friend. A friend I gamed with, laughed with, and cherished every moment with. He just flashed out of my life in the blink of an eye, and he upset no only me, but my mother as well. After extensive months of my youthful rebellion, and being fatherless I began to find an escape for me that truly worked. Gaming. I gamed my nights away from dusk till dawn, and I assume the reason being was not only it disconnecting me from reality... but being a reminder of the friend that was gone. Time passed and my father finally came back home. I was eager to have the real friend I had finally back in my world, but he was different. He didn't wish to game with me anymore, every request to do so met with spite and reluctant "okay"'s, and my identity of him complete melding from a role model to somebody that I loathed. Somebody I didn't find joy in talking with anymore. My enemy in a way. I still loved the man, but he was much less of a role model than he once was. (cont.)
>>16984856
(Apparently I am Caleb Middleton now)
Time progressed on until Eighth grade, my father now furious with the only escape I had from the world, and the only joy I found from life. I was tormented at school and I was tormented at home. My items began to disappear as my joy for life quickly began to fade, and my grades plummeted faster than my own emotions. Life continued in this spiral for years. I gamed to get away from life, my family wished of me to no longer do so, I rebelled, rinse, wash, and repeat for years. The only utterance of a difference was me finding a girlfriend and a love interest. Truly, this one scenario is what kept me breathing and she one of the only people who I could turn to. Yet, as time continued, my father grew less fond of her, stating that her Catholic religion standings wouldn't favor well with my viewpoints (my view points being that I had no religion and still don't). I didn't believe him, and didn't wish to until 3 years down when she broke up with me because I was a spiritual midget. Her words not mine. Essentially I was a man perfect in every way, but I didn't help her spiritually. Man, the fact I had to admit my father was right was a trial on its own, but I accepted this and tried hard to move on. I graduate with some low A's and high B's, and before the graduation I had met a new woman. She was a good person from what it seemed since I met her through a dating app of all things. She liked what I did, she was funny, and she was a good person in all regards from what it seemed. I went to a graduation party with her and one thing lead to another... we did the nasty... with no condoms... and it was awful. I didn't feel right during. They say during your first time it is meant to feel amazing... life changing some people say, but it wasn't. If anything, I legitimately disliked it to a high degree, and shortly after I left her for the mere fact of me not wanting sex. (cont.)
>>16984865
I had contracted an STD from her, and what a lovely one at that. It was chlamydia (thank god), and after a cotton swab stuck in my dick hole and a light bit of medication I was cured, but my experiences didn't improve by much. Of course it wasn't long for the people that I worked with to find out what had happened, and I got renamed from "sir" to the "chlamydia wrangler". I laughed at it all to try and pass it off as nothing, but nothing seemed to help. I hated myself for what I had did, and nothing could change that feeling I had. After soul searching I figured that I was honestly upset that somebody like her had take something that I had held as a valuable. My virginity. After months of contemplating what to say, I finally tell my parents to see if they could help at all... long story short, they didn't. My father was angered at my leniency towards condom use, and my mother was worried I got her pregnant. However, once I brought up my virginity being lost, my father laughed and said "male virginity doesn't exist". I now realized that my father was now somebody I didn't know. He was a person I cared for no longer. Years have passed and our relations have lowered beyond compare. He yells for me not cleaning up my room and for trying so hard to lock everyone out, and I yell/retaliate for him never being there to help. My brother has begun to look up to me the same way I looked up to my father and I tell myself every day that I can't let him down like my father let me down. Yet, it is hard to keep strong when I work at Taco Bell, pushing hours from 7-5, waking up early for college, and coming home to meet a family that doesn't care for your existence. 4chan, I am asking what should I do now... I follow the same mundane patterns, I am tormented for my past, my life has revolved around trying to be the best I can be but I can't improve past what I am, my father has threatened to kick me out so many times but my mother rebels against it. (cont. Last one)
>>16984882
It was my fault that the wedded back when they were 19. It was and has been my fault for them having so many issues. I want to leave their lives, but I fear that if I do the only thing I would do is let down my brother. I can't do that to him. 4chan, I need help or advice... something to get me out of this hell... anything.
I'm ~20 years old and usually when I'm buying a gift from someone its for a close friend who I know well, so I don't have trouble thinking of something for them.
However I have this distant relative / friend who I've gotten really close to since he's been really helping / guiding me for the last year with my academics / professional life.
His birthday is in ~three weeks and I want to get him something. I've plane tickets but still no present.
I wanted to get him a bottle of good scotch or tequila, but it's a pain in the ass to get it delivered / i cant buy it myself, etc etc...
>What are some good birthday presents for someone you don't know that well?
I've been thinking a piece of clothing, or a set of rocks for drinking scotch without ice, etc. How do you pick gifts for 30+ people?
>>16984775
If he has been advising/helping you, you have to have picked up some hints about what he likes or is interested in - writers, musicians, philosophy, sports, something.
Buy him a book about his interests.
>>16984855
I don't know how to pick a book, its a good idea though, i'll look in the /lit/ wiki
>>16984775
You can never go wrong with gift cards or money.
How do I be a guy people wanna date?
You need to have your life together. What exactly this means varies somewhat according to culture and developmental phase. It doesn't have to be perfect, but it to be clear that you aren't neglecting it, AND it has to be clear that you aren't expecting a potential partner to do it for you or to "make it possible".
You don't have to be a normie, but you DO need to be able to relate to normies. Know enough about them to understand them. Learn enough to help those around you understand you. This is enough, but you DO need this much.
You need a diverse base of interests. In this context, interests a set of interests is "diverse" if even a total outsider to both interests could not possibly mistake all of them for being the same thing. For example, anime, manga, and Western animation is not a diverse set of interests. But if you add, say, automotive maintenance, wilderness hiking, and playing the harmonica to that mix, then you've got a diverse set. Ideally, you want a list diverse enough that even if someone consolidated all the entries that possibly could be, you'd still have at least four.
There are two reasons gor the diverse set of interests. One is that it makes you interesting: our combinations of interests draw more intrigue than any one interest could. The other is a matter of avoiding red flags: obsession of any sort is creepy. Transference is a thing, and women worry that you may wind up becoming obsessed with them.
>>16984760
Be a guy people wanna have as a friend.
One of the many, many ways women differ from men is that physical appearance means FAR less to them, and nice-guy-ness means a lot more.
>>16984825
Even if it's April fools day you shouldn't be giving bad advice.
If a girl your dating tells you that she has a major crush on blank actor or blank artist? How do you respond?
>>16984665
You don't give a fuck. Its not cheating
>>16984665
She sounds obsessive. If it's an obsession level kind of deal, that's a definite red flag.
As for a response just say 'ok' and move the conversation forward.
>>16984670
Do you ignore it or just start a new topic?
UK fag here, just got a letter saying I've been caught by a speed camera doing 44mph in a 30 zone. This is my first year of driving. I know, I'm an idiot and I'll never speed again, I'm fucked if I lose my license, how screwed am I? Is there anything I can do?
Pay the fine and don't do it again.
>>16984611
They aren't gonna take your license for that.
>>16984611
>>16984669
This, also just take your fucking time when you're driving, no one cares if you're doing 80-100 on the dual carriageway but speeding in a 30 zone is more likely to fuck someone up, generally you.
I took my roommate to the airport 3 hours away and picked him up because it was on the way to my final destination. The only issue is that to make his flight, we needed to leave at 3:30 am when I was planning to leave at 10 or 11 in the morning instead. Even with requiring me to change my plans, he feels that he does not have to pay me for gas money since I was heading that way anyways. This has caused a divide and some tension in our apartment and our friends since some are siding with him and others are siding with me. I'm just wondering what /adv/ thinks is standard etiquette for this situation.
Pic unrelated
From the way you wrote it, everything's already said and done right?
If you wanted him to pay, you should have made it clear. If you knew ahead of time you'd have to leave earlier, that would be the time to discuss money. Not after you've already driven him. Beforehand he could have decided whether or not he accepted, and would be able to look for another ride if he had to.
>>16984620
In retrospect I should have however I have never had this problem before as my other roommate has traveled with me to the destination I was going to before and when I had to stop for gas, offered to pay for a tank of gas without me asking. It just seems like a tacky thing to ask for. And everyone else I've carpooled with on long drives has contributed in their own way either by paying for my lunch, buying me a drink, etc. The point is I didn't think I'd need to ask for gas money since I thought it was a standard for longer trips.
>>16984593
Took him to the airport... 3hrs away...
Doesn't matter if you were heading that way, it was an incredibly nice thing to do for a friend. If anything he should feel uncomfortable for not paying for gas- let alone your time!
Doesn't sound like a friend I'd want around me, considering he is a roomie what I'd do is drop the whole thing after reconciling with a polite convo (saying you'll agree to diasgree and that if a resolution is met there will be NO further conversations regarding it, between you two OR between any of your friends) and then go your seperate ways when the lease is up.
With the way he's acted in this situation I can basically guarantee there will be another problem or this will be brought up again.
Doesn't cost a penny to be nice or political in these sort of situations.
Pic very much related.
