Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 930. page
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I've been told that my sense of humor is above average, and I've always wanted to try open mic not caring if I bomb or not but I wanted to ask 4chan for tips on anything, such as anybody have experience, overcoming stage freight etc etc
Never explain the joke, unless explaining the joke is actually part of the joke.
What's the deal with airline food?
Say things like "pleb" oh and also "zozzle"
Does seeing a psychologist really help?
I have been feeling awful for over a year now and it doesn't feel like it's getting better.
I feel like if I see a psychologist they will just say something they would tell everyone or get me on antidepressants (not big on antidepressants because of what I have seen with others on them)
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2016/03/16/meditation-plus-running-as-a-treatment-for-depression/?_r=0
psychologists are real people and like all other people, some of them are actually idiots and give very bad advice. if you go to one, try out a few before you decide which one you want to stick with.
this book will help:
http://www.oplysning.org/uploads/9/1/4/3/9143605/a_new_earth-eckhart_tolle.pdf
beginning part is a little woo woo but seriously give it a try, i read it about 5 years ago and i still credit it as the thing that helped me really start changing my life
i am stupid with low iq
how do i get smarter?
>>17098610
Hire a maths tutor
study
Read everyday. Write everyday. Exercise.
Sup, /adv/?
I fucked this cute-as-fuck girl this past winter.
She was gonna be the second girl in a threesome that has been in the making for fucking three years.
She moved, which put a damper in my plans. She comes back every now and then, but she usually has a boyfriend so she tries to not be alone with me so as to not put herself in a compromising position and cheat.
This past summer, though, I finally got the chance to bang her and BOY it was cash.
She's coming back for a while this summer. Obviously, being the adorable little cum...
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You're not here for advice, you're here to gloat.
Who gives a shit. Fuck that pussy or don't, doesn't fucking matter.
>>17098588
You sound like a huge faggot.
>>17098603
I'm gloating about getting laid on a Korean Wife Swapping Board?
So, stop being a pussy and fuck her outright?
Okay so basically my best friend of almost two decades needs some help right now.
his family/relationship/job/health are all simultaneously going to complete shit and he hasn't wanted to spend time with or talk to anyone (except for me) for a while now because of his deeply growing depression.
I convinced him a couple of weeks ago to come with me to a buddy's house and have a few drinks but as the night progressed, he remained silent and seemed to be growing angry. I frequently asked if he was feeling alright or if he needed anything or wanted to leave and he just kept telling me thank you and that he would be fine. I left the house for a second to take my nephew home and when I came back he was pinned down on the couch crying and I was told that he started to tell everyone he was going to end his life tonight and he went inside and reached for a knife before being tackled to the ground.
Let me say that acting out like this is not something common from him by any means. I took him to stay with me at my house and then he went home the following morning and I did not hear from him for a week.
Just a few days ago, he shows up at my house smiling and thanking me for being such a great friend and when I go to hug him, he begins to sob uncontrollably over me and tells me how he has really felt like he has been losing his mind lately and is sure if it gets worse, he will end his life. Because He and I have been making music and art together our whole lives and we've been wanting to put a heavier focus on these things recently, as well as the fact that I'm the only person he's comfortable with lately, I Decided to ask him if he wanted to move in with me and my wife (in our guest room) and he said that he doesn't want to bother us, but that if it was possible, he thinks it could be a huge help. My wife encouraged this idea as she can see how rough he has gotten.
(tbc)
(cont)
Now, here's the problem. Our roommate is not very empathic and tends to be exceptionally cautious about everything. BUT, he is also incredibly frugal and lazy and my friend said that he would pay 35% of the rent and take care of the house's maintenance. Sorry for such a back story but I'm basically looking for help with two questions:
How can I convince my roommate that my friend really needs my help and assure him that it could be beneficial?
and
What can I do to motivate and encourage my friend on a daily basis while he is living here?
Self-bump.
Hoping someone out there iş reading
Last self-bump...
In short, the only job opportunity I have now is working as a computer technician but I don't want to.
I don't want to fullfill more of the steotype of neckbeard that faps to anime and works with computers, I know I can do better but other job opportunities are further away.
pls respond
Uh, isn't any job better than nothing?
Even if you suck at it or pussy out later, you'll be in your current position, plus money.
Well if you're good at it and don't mind doing it than just don't be the stereotype. I work IT now but I work out, am decent looking, and live with my girlfriend. I don't live that stereotype and fuck anyone who thinks otherwise about me.
Just do whatever the fuck you want OP. Don't let what others think of you stand in the way.
Dear /adv/, hear me out. I've never posted here, so I might make some mistakes. Desperate for some advice.
Twenty years ago, my family bought a piece of rural property with stunning water views on a gentle slope, with the prospects of retiring there or handing it over to me. They originally bought it for very little money ($20k Cad), as the lot did not have city water nor the possibility for a well to be dug (20% incline with sandy earth). A few months ago, we received a letter of expropriation from the county, letting us know that they were doing road expansions...
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Last april, a piece of land identical to ours (with a higher incline, so harder to build on) sold for 150k. Another lot above us sold for 95k. Both these lots were comparable to ours, yet our assessment value did not go up since these were "private sales”. We’re basically being forced out of our land, our investment, and will be given absolutely nothing for it. The neighborhood we are in will develop crazily in the next two years. Already, there are at least half a dozen constructions, and people driving around daily looking for land to buy. My parents will have nowhere to retire. The only land in our area we can buy for that money is flat, treed land, with no view and no water. And even that is being pulled off the market to sell at a much higher price in a year or so.
The only reason the land was bought was for the view. It's incredible. The fact that it's on a tall hill/small mountain right on the water's edge gives it the impression that you're just floating above the water. Some may call it a million-dollar view.
I'm at a complete and total loss at what to do. What the county's doing is unacceptable, but there doesn't seem to be any other option for us. Has anyone here had a similar experience? Is there anything I can do? Please help, they're taking away our home, and they're giving us nothing in return.
Sorry for the long read and poor writing, I had to come up with this quickly. I have noone else I can get advice from.
>>17098396
>>17098402
To clarify, this is in Canada.
Ask a lawyer, but can't the Queen and Her duly authorized representatives just take whatever they want from Her subjects?
Have any of you taken a typing test as part of a job interview process? What was it like? Any tips?
I have one tomorrow, first time I've been asked to take one.
I haven't but unless they have you tap dancing while you do it, you'll be fine. Or, of course, if you can't type.
Try some online for free. If im not mistaken, 'good' is considered 60 words per second or better.
>>17098361
I mentioned to someone once that I hunt and peck but my WPM averages around 85-90 with 98% accuracy.
Touch typing is just impossible for me, my pinky fingers and ringer fingers just feel to weird to type with.
Going to lose my virginity tonight. Help. How do I do it well. She's crazy about me (so she says) so she probably won't complain if I'm shit and she knows it's my first time.
Don't put it in the wrong hole.
>>17098346
Just stare into her eyes while on top of her, thrust and grunt.
>>17098346
Has she had sex before?
Just know that you probably won't be that good, and she almost definitely wont have an orgasm.
If she hasn't had sex before, expect a mediocre time. It will be kind of awkward for both of you, but you might get into some kind of rhythm.
Just don't have high expectations and you'll be fine.
What's the best Chinese dish to get delivered?
help
General Tso's with chicken fried rice.
>>17098336
Meme's aside. I usually get
>large hot n sour soup
>fried dumplings
>general tsos chicken and fried rice
>>17098336
Sushi and soba noodles.
My long distance ex is threatening to
Blackmail me, using my personal info they saved on their phone.
I have successfully avoided contact with them for about a year but now they messaged out of the blue, threatening me to try to force me to respond.
This person can't be reasoned with at all.
They're a mentally unstable control freak and for them, it seems, no time has passed.
What can i do to protect my information without getting the authorities involved?
Is there a any way to remotely factory reset their phone so they won't have any way to contact me?
I really don't want anything to do with them.
Anybody?
>>17098315
What kind of information is this? Is it incriminating?
If not you should probably contact the police.
Call the cops. Maybe even the Feds if they are out of state
I posted here a month ago asking how to sort my life out (24 y/o, UK). One person responded with getting a shit job and going from there, now I have a shit job what do I do now? How long should I be in said job.
I'm lurking m8. Fill me in on your situation. Live with parents? Working where? Are you looking to move away or abroad?
>>17098323
This.
Thank you so much I love you.
I live with my Mum, she has supported my life. I never got the whole life thing and now I'm just fucked. I don't have prospects or anything like that I genuinely hate life currently.
What is wrong with me? This is not rhetorical. A serious question.
Why do females not like me? Why are they not interested?
I have the things society says females are interested. I have a house. I have a good job. No kids. No drug issues. No ex's to pay alimony to.
/r9k/ browsing has caused me to think it's being a manlet (5'6") but surely that can't be all. When I post on /soc/ I always get a 5 or 6. Sure not hot, but not ugly.
WTF? What is wrong with me?
You're too immersed in the internet, for one.
>>17098258
Because you are needy and desperate for attention/approval. Big turn off right there.
lets see your face, if its good enough and you live in new york I'll fuck you
I found this, do u know what it is, round beige- yellowish 170 is the only part of the imprint I can read
Why don't you take it and find out?
>>17098260
this
>>17098254
Here, Sherlock.
http://www.drugs.com/imprints/170-22256.html
So I was a finance major but I ended up getting kicked out of the business school because I shit the bed in terms of attendance even though my actual grades were more than fine. Now I'm stuck deciding between Computer Science or Philosophy for sophomore year. If I went CS I'd probably just find a job out of undergrad and that's that. With Philosophy I have the intention of applying to law school so that it's not just a waste of money. On one hand I like the idea of being a programmer more, but I'm not really sure if I'm cut out for it. Math based...
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>>17098247
What careers are you interested in? Answer that first, then pick a major that will help you reach that goal. Ask your school's career center for advice matching skills/interest to a career.
If you're considering the law school route, pick an undergrad major that will still offer some value if law school doesn't work out (in other words, not philosophy). Your GPA will also count for a lot too. Hope it's still above 3 at least.
If you're interested in technology there's other majors you can take aside from the ones based in programming. Is there anything else you've considered?
>>17098263
That's the thing, I don't really know what I want. I'm way too fickle when it comes to deciding what I want to do.
