Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 922. page
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I have a boyfriend, we've been together for ages, broke up and got back together. But I've also got feelings for a friend of his, like crazy strong feelings. and he's told me he likes me too. we have a really special connection but I don't love this guy. I know I love my bf. a few times we have all gotten drunk together and I've been very affectionate towards this other guy, and bf has told me this is the last straw. I haven't seen this guy or texted him in months but my feelings didn't go away. I used to justify it that having feelings for...
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>>17103110
>we're going to go to couples counseling
Stop. You're young and confused and you're not ready to settle down. Instead of ruining these guys' friendship you need to take a good look at who you are and what you want.
If you're having feelings for someone else to the point of telling someone behind your boyfriends back that you like them and getting drunk and affectionate with them you need to break up with your boyfriend because its a really shitty...
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>>17103110
Women, I swear to God.
>>17103130
10/10 advice on /adv mfw
I have my arraignment tomorrow, I've been twice already, to delay. Two counts possession of paraphernalia, one count possession of cannabis. Officer found it in the drivers vehicle, back seat passenger side. I was sitting in the bakseat, driver side. One officer wrote him a ticket for the same exact thing plus one for not using his blinker. The other officer came in afterward and wrote me the same ticket (minus the blinker issue).
How do I get this case dropped? I assume I'll get a court date tomorrow, the alternative is a littering ticket with is $200 and...
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Go and plead not guilty, then get a lawyer. Oh and if you really are innocent then get less shitbag friends.
>>17103031
run and don't look back
>>17103047
I've pled not guilty twice, third time's the charm. The last lawyer I talked to was going to charge $800 in total to get it dropped completely. Where can I get a cheap lawyer? Public Defender was what I wanted to get, but they don't operate in municipal court.
How do you know if you have narcissistic personality disorder? I have a high self esteem on a relative basis, e.g. around people I've proven to be superior in, in specific areas. I'll compulsively tell people I'm comfortable around that they're stupid if I view them to be. I can't sympathize when it comes to incompetence. I find it hard to care about anyone that I'm not exceptionally close with and sometimes have grandiose fantasies. However, I don't believe I'm entitled. I'm happy if my needs are met but not more than that.
I'm afraid of being a monster instead of just a cranky nerd. Any insight?
>>17103026
Maybe look at those forums for children of narcissistic parents? It'll give you a real-world example of what NPD looks like, separate from the clinical definitions.
>>17103032
Also it would show you great examples of where it crosses the road from cranky to monsterous.
I'll tell you straight off that you would not be my friend. I thrive in empathetic situations and you would make me feel like shit. And I'm already damn good at making myself feel like shit.
What I do to convince myself to treat people well, is to think of the rewards. People like me, people trust me, people will do nice things for me.
I get a lot of satisfaction out of the approval for others.
But...
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>>17103043
>I'll tell you straight off that you would not be my friend.
That's nice.
>What I do to convince myself to treat people well, is to think of the rewards.
You want someone who's questioning whether or not they're a narcissist to... see people as means to an end?
>But beyond that, it's beneficial to have people who like you.
Enough people love me, thanks, and I don't care about anyone...
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When I left high school for my university and work, my circle of extremely tightly-knit friends created a group chat where we'd all stay connected. I was also starting up a relationship with a girl I genuinely liked at the time of departure. Now that it's almost been a year, I've come to realize how lonely I am. I'm starting to feel as if though I'm drifting apart from my friends, as they make plans without me from time to time. I stopped talking to this girl and barely remember the personality I came to enjoy. I don't have any friends here and...
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>>17103018
Did you stop spending time with them because if the girl?
Bro. First of all, do not be ashamed with how you are handling loneliness. We all have to cope with it some how. Hell, I sleep with my exes stuffed animal so I don't feel alone while I'm sleeping. Wakes me up. Second, stomach the inevitability of change. Similar to you, my close knit group of friends has dissolved over the past few weeks. It's really rough, I know, but focusing on it will make you more miserable. And finally, get out there man. There is no reason why you can't form new relationships while attempting to rekindle old ones. Sure, they may not...
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>>17103030
No, I've been trying my best to go out with them whenever they ask for me. The girl and I just slowly stopped having conversations until it died off entirely a couple months ago, and I can safely assume at this point that it's done.
>>17103034
I've tried to meet new people, but they never understand my personality and what I find to be humorous which only discourages me further. I meet these people, and I think to myself that the relationship...
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Dear /adv/ I need help. I've been posting for the past three weeks around here about some bug bites and everyday I get bitten. I don't have any advert effects to the bites so I think I they are fleas or something.
Can garlic help my case? I mean eating it and putting it all over my skin. I don't mind the smell and I even like it.
No, garlic won't deter insects.
>>17103062
Why?
>>17102985
i think you're supposed to ingest the garlic... put it in your cooking or take garlic pills. your body would then emanate the garlic odor from your skin's pores. at least that's the idea...
same situation as you op, i was gonna try the garlic thing since i get crazy allergies from mosquito bites. i think eliminating sugars is supposed to help too. gonna test it this season.
Hey advice
So my I told my close friend I had feelings for her. She friend zoned me.
That was 3 months ago. We have stayed friends. I took 4chan advice and stoped talking to her, and more towards my other friends/girls.
It worked, she started getting more close/clingy even though we are just friends for these 3 months. I couldn't just stop talking to her though. She's a nice girl and I like her.
I kept thinking. Is it really worth it to make her jelly to gamble on whether or not she could develop feelings for me? It's definitely...
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>>17102968
Anon, you fucking retard, when people told you to ignore her they weren't saying you should ignore her and meet other girls to make her jealous, they were saying you should move on and meet other girls because those other girls might be interested in you. Fuck you dumb piece of shit how the fuck did you fuck
Don't play mind games man. And stop consuming so much fictional entertainment, it warps your view on relationships.
Stop playing games. She rejected you, move on. If she changes her mind about you at some other point let her make the first move.
I keep having dreams about cheating on my girlfriend. I love my girlfriend. Our relationships isn't really perfect and probably isn't long term, so I am guessing this has something to do with it. I am not the cheating type though. And these dreams keep happening. what do
You're actually dreaming about cheating on her, or just thinking about it?
Also
>and probably isn't long term
What's the point in dating if you aren't trying for long term? If you suspect it's going to fail, why not focus on improving it?
>>17102941
no matter how stable a relationship is, there is the notion of cheating in your mind. your penis is designed to react to women, especially attractive women, especially attractive women you havent seen before. your penis just wants sex with lots of women. having a happy ormance doesn't change that.
>>17102949
>what's the point in dating if oyu arent trying for long term
something isnt beautiful because it lasts. by your logic we might as well just not date someone unless were 100% sure were gonna marry them. highschoolers should stop, college romance should end all cuz those are known not to last.
think about hwo relationships work: you keep trying and trying and getting dumped or dumping. if you are lucky you will get one or two that last but hteres a lot of trial and error. you cannot just magically know what relationsihps going to last.
enjoy what you have while oyu have it. there is no point ruining your happy time wiht someone just cuz you know its not going to be what oyu want in five years.
>>17102941
>And these dreams keep happening. what do
I have dreams about smothering my grandmother to death with an octopus and then ass fucking Christina Hendricks on the roof of the white house.
My point is you do nothing. They're dreams, not premonitions. They mean nothing.
Under what circumstances should someone without mental illness go see a therapist or a psychologist?
>>17102913
For any reason. They're an unbiased person to dump your thoughts onto, and who will help you make sense of them. Something as simple as struggling with a job decision is a good enough reason to go to one.
>>17102913
If you haven't seen a proper therapist you can't be sure you're without mental illness.
See one whenever you feel you need to see one.
>>17102913
therapy is for people who do not have mentall illness. psychiatry/psychology is for those who do.
sometimes someone wiht minor mental illness will see a therapist as they just need help in general life despite their illness.
if you want to see a therapist, please do. just make sure you find one who helps guide you as opposed to try to convince you to accept what oyu hate about life.
Are you better off dating a woman who makes more money than you, about the same or less money than you?
I figure that if she makes more than you, she'll wanna trade up for a better man. If she makes less though, she may be more dependent on you for income.
>>17102875
>be me
>dad's an electrician
>mom's the manager of a major company
>mom makes 2x as much as him
>happily married 30 years
it's the personality. not the paycheck.
If she loves you, it's your money anyway.
>>17102989
This. Some bitches want to feel secure and maybe even dominant and making less money than their partner will make them feel insecure. They will be happier dating a man who makes less because they know if shit goes south they'll always land okay and because it gives them a bit more control over the household income if things get to that point.
Whilst some women prefer to let the man worry about that shit because they're dumb whores.
Overall it's no a defining factor. So long as you make...
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>Be me
>21yo m
>Starting to have a active sexual life por the first time in life with a Girlfriend wich I really like
Our relationship is a Happy one, we enjoy staying besides each other whenever is possible and we have kinda a good sex life, but with a problem....
I'm unable to provide her oral sex decently because a single fact: Vagina tastes really, REALLY spicy and strong for my kiddie's tastes. I know how to do it, but I can't do that much and I don't...
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>>17102864
No, that's not normal at all. There's something seriously wrong with her. She really needs to go to a doctor.
>>17102864
>Vagina tastes really, REALLY spicy
That ain't right, mang. Spicy? That's fucked up. That is abnormal. That is a medical concern.
>>17102899
I probably choose the wrong word since english is not my main language but it's kinda hard to describe... It's a really strong strong taste.
I feel the problem isn't with her, but in me, since her ex didn't complain about it and my eating habits aren't that healthy to begin with (I have problem with bitter and acid tastes)
I want to cut my penis off to free myself from sexual frustration will this work
>>17102827
No.
Cut your balls off instead.
>>17102827
Penis? No you're supposed to cut off your balls.
Yeah, feel free to commit self-mutilation and possibly kill yourself for no reason, I guess.
So my father caught me throwing up in the toilet while trying to take pills by downing them with a beer at the same time and he's asking me to tell him why I did so. Should I tell him the truth?
>suicidal
>"guys should I tell my dad?'
Yes you nerd.
Depends on what they were, your current relationship with your father, and what the reason was.
>>17102769
Bait
If this were true, you wouldn't have time to post on here. He'd be demanding an answer right away.
Yes, you should tell him.
I asked this over on /an/, but it's a slow board so..
Hey guys, just got a quick question. We are working on our motorhome engine, and it's been leaking a lot, and part of what's leaking is anitfreeze. We are hosing down the pavement when we're done, but it's runs into the grass next to the motorhome.
If we hose the grass down pretty good, will this delute the amount of antifreeze that the grass soaks up? Will the grass even soak up the anitifreeze? I'm asking because I caught our dog out there eating some of the grass after we had...
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Leave a container under the engine so you can dispose of the antifreeze properly, you're poisoing everyone, not just your dog.
And fix your fucking engine already, what you're doing is a crime.
>>17102708
Wait, a crime? Why? We aren't near any rivers or sources of water like ponds or lakes, were just dumping it on our land and watering it down.
And I just found out that my friend has been putting it in a container and dumping it off the side of the hill where the dog doesn't really go, but I'm going to water that down too.
>>17102703
all anti freeze is toxic to dogs. the dog is atracted to it because of its bright colour.
back flush your motor and radiator with just water: to get rid of the rusty brown water the leak will be hose or leaking seal or a the worst hole in radiator or water pump. if there water in the oil you have blown a head gasket(s)
How do I make myself have a wet dream, or a lucid dream? I used to have them all the fucking time and now I miss them.
Pic unrelated.
I've heard not masturbating or having sex makes them more likely but I don't know if that's actually true.
I've had sexual dreams that would have caused me to ejaculate when I was younger but didn't. Maybe you just become less sensitive to it as you get older.
stop fapping.
>>17102720
Probably would be better to keep fapping but not come since edging massively stimulates production of ejaculate.
I'm a genuinely nice person. I think.
Except for one individual, my mom.
She's suffered from mental problems all her life, she didn't teach me anything while "raising" me, and even handed me off to both of her brothers when I was less than 10 years old because she couldn't handle her depression.
Fast forward 15 years later and I treat her like shit. I give her advice when she needs it, which is all the time, but I just feel no emotional connection to her, and I find myself just being cruel to her, to the point where she'll...
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why are you talking to her at all
>I don't know why I do it, I feel like shit afterwards, but I can't tell her that.
Yes you can. Go say you're sorry and give her a hug. That would mean the entire fucking world to her. Have a normal conversation with her. Stop seeing her as a ball of mental illness who fucked up your childhood and see her as a human being. You're old enough to not be the little cunt who can get away with blaming her for everything anymore, grow up and act like it.
This doesn't mean you need to put up with her shit when she...
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give her a hug but then transition into choking her until she stops moving.
