Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 929. page
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Can a narcissist deeply hate themselves? Can a narcissist be capable of committing extreme self-harm? Can a narcissist be constantly suicidal?
I had a friend for almost a decade. I think they horribly abused me. I say that I only think, though, because I don't really know if I was abused, or if I actually abused them. I'm trying to get a handle on the situation. I'll be seeing a counselor about it soon.
A lot of what it seems they did to me, and countless others, was this "idealize, devalue, and discard" method that narcissists tend to...
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>>17098908
>Can a narcissist deeply hate themselves? Can a narcissist be capable of committing extreme self-harm? Can a narcissist be constantly suicidal?
Yes, yes, and yes. Narcissism is, at its heart, about extreme self-importance: "it's all about me". We often associate that with undue self-love, partly because this condition gains its name from the myth of Narcissus, who fell in love with its own reflection. But narcissism doesn't have to be associated with positive feelings:...
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>>17099067
What's the difference between someone with BPD and someone with narcissism, then?
>>17098908
>Can a narcissist deeply hate themselves? Can a narcissist be capable of committing extreme self-harm? Can a narcissist be constantly suicidal?
When I saw this in the catalog I immediately thought "BPD".
>A lot of what it seems they did to me, and countless others, was this "idealize, devalue, and discard" method that narcissists tend to use. I can't imagine this person was a narcissist, though, because they hated themselves, self-harmed,...
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So im in a pickle. I have a gf of 7 months, and im positive i love her. But lately ive been getting feelings for my best friend (girl), and last night i had a dream of her pulling me aside and making out with me. It feels so wrong, but a small part of me likes it. Wtf do i do
It's a daydream, don't be stupid. How old are you?
Idk, dont cheat, or maybe do cheat. I always assumed the lust for other women would go away after you love someone for a long enough time, but it only gets stronger. In a 1.5 year relationship myself. What's worse is that you will begin to have sex less frequently, and you will start justifying your infidelous thoughts due to the lack of sex
>I love herrr I'm sure
>oh wait, now I want my best frienddd wahhh
Fuck off. You don't know what love is if you're being a confused faggot about trivial shit like a retarded ass dream
One of my family members has begun buying and selling pic related and using it on themselves. I think it's a feelgood product but am not completely certain. But she's cometely sure it's got medical benefits. I tried finding proof off either medical benefits or fraudulent claims but I just can't come up with anything.
So the question is; is this a scam or not. And if it is how can I get this stuff out of my families life. If it's not, not my problem.
>>17098852
I know tea tree oil has antibacterial properties, and I think mint might too. I think the rest might just smell good.
>>17098902
And I don't think I've ever seen tea tree oil from them. Pretty big red flag for me.
>>17098852
>>17098902
>>17099006
They are oil based air fresheners m8. Nothing medicinal about them, nothing addictive, or druggy. Sure you read about how certain smells make your mood change, but it's bullshit. Anyone who believes that is an idiot
How do I get my motivation from myself as opposed to other people?
I literally don't want to do anything productive when I don't have friends. The point where I started having people I considered friends is the point where I did best academically and when I didn't have anyone to improve for I just sank and lost any will to do anything besides what seemed absolutely necessary.
How can I stop being like this?
>>17098845
Help.
Please
bumpin.
I want to know too.
Parenting advice? Six years ago my sister was murdered I adopted her baby( dont know who the father is).The rest of my family wants me to tell her she's not mine but I don't want too well at least not yet
It will come up at some point regardless since your family want her to know.
Are you alone or do you have an SO to look after her with?
>>17098832
The time is near when you should have to tell her, but you're probably the best judge of when to do that is. Just don't wait too long.
>>17098832
Let her bring it up.
someone is using esp to put thoughts about cutting off my toes inside my head how do i stop them before they make me kill myself
go to a psych
>>17098803
sounds 100% like a mental health issue you ought to see a professional about, boss
with complete certainty I can tell you that nobody is putting those thoughts into your mind but yourself. You're being an obsessive.
I think actual paranoid schizos are more rational than that.
Try harder.
How do I tell a girl that I don't like to text?
I've only seen this girl three times and I'd prefer to wait till I see her in person to converse. I appreciate the thought behind wanting to text me, but I only like to use texting as a platform to set up dates and stuff.
How do I tell this girl that I don't like to text w/o hurting her feelings and making it seem like I don't want to talk to her?
How about a compromise of a phone conversation?
>>17098771
continue replying to her texts, but do it more slowly. then when you see her, be like
>it's really nice to talk to you in person again
>I like this better than texting, honestly I'm not much of a texting type of guy
calling her on the phone to set up dates instead of texting might help too.
>>17098771
Are you the one who asked "how's your day so far?"
Texting or not, stop doing that. It makes you come off as beta to ask questions like this, especially if you do it often.
>redpill tells me women are evil and I will never be with one
>feminists tell me im evil and I dont deserve a woman
>my instinct tells me that i am not evil, and that only some women are bad not all
Of the 5-6 women I have had extended conversation with in the last year, none of them struck me as particularly rude. One is one of my closest friends now.
I am in a position of being at an all male school in the last year (18, chill) so admittedly I dont have a good view...
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women are legit evil. They are greedy whores who have no conscious and will ruin a mans life
>>17098744
>redpill tells me women are evil and I will never be with one
>>feminists tell me im evil and I dont deserve a woman
They're both wrong. Reality is more nuanced than "all women" this or "all men" that.
Anyone who speaks in absolutes like that is copping out, hard. Its easier to make the opposite gender the enemy than it is to look inwards and reevaluate yourself.
Keep staying level headed and life...
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>>17098752
That's not what I have seen. It seems to be pretty much equal cheating and dumping in what I can perceive. However, more guys get rejected, but thats probably down to them doing 99.9% of the asking out.
Ok /adv/, I need some help.
I'm basically a social outcast. I just moved to a new city a few months ago. On top of that, my girlfriend broke up with me right before I left to do some national guard stuff in Germany so she could go fuck another guy. That took a huge blow to my self esteem. I'm in shape, I exercise regularly,I have a great passing job, and a great apartment. Basically what I'm asking is how do I make friends? Especially when I hate my fucking millennial generation? I don't know what is wrong with me. Pic related, it's me.
I apologize for the misspelling, I meant great paying job. I'm on mobile.
*tips fedora back*
Find hobbies, especially social hobbies. Take classes in things you want to learn/enjoy.. Learn to cold approach random strangers and have random conversations. Appearance doesn't mean shit once you can get 5 minutes of a conversation.
Where are places to get a girlfriend? Like I see on youtube people approaching girls they don't know but wouldn't that be creepy in real life? I don't have many friends in school and the lady friends I do have I am not interested in. Any help is good help!!!
Fucking this or in general tips in trying to talk too people would help
School and work are usually the best places,
>>17098705
You from Bama my nigga?
I have a broken heart. I wake up almost everyday and think of her. Some days are better than others. I have a horrible empty feeling in my stomach. I want the pain to stop. I don't know if I u still love her or if its just lust. She was the first person I ever opened up to. My friends tell me I should open up more. But I don't know how. Help me.
Also vent thread
you need to realize that she is only a small segment of your life, and worrying about the details instead of the big picture wont get you anywhere. Remove memorabilia of her, even if in means new bed sheets. It will take time, even if you find somebody new while you're still hurting, it will fog your mind for a while. It has and will happen to everybody.
>>17098721
But we are still friends I see her at college and have class with her. I am the only one who can't seem to move on ... I'm a piece of shit .
chill. again, she is not your fucking life. There was this girl in high school that i thought was the one, and i opened up to her too. when she dumped me i thought it was the end of the world. she walked the same way as me everyday, and eventually she started showing her new bf around me, It takes time and pain, but eventually you will be happy you got over her. Just focus on improving and finding out yourself, she isn't your life.
there's this girl that i hang with alot. we're good friends, but neither of us are into each other. The thing is, she is really fucking hot and she seems to think i am too. She's pretty damn open when it comes to what she's into, and what turns her on. She doesnt mind if i "accidentally" touch her boob, one time she even squealed a bit when i put my hand on her thigh. Is there a way to bring up doing friends this friends with benefits with her, in a non creepy way? I think she's been hinting at it lately anyways.
bump for lust
get really drunk with her, get flirty, go for a kiss, see how it goes from there
if it doesnt work you can play it off as lol whoops drank too much sry and then cry and masturbate
most girls dont get too mad if you steal a kiss anyway, makes them feel attractive
she's sober and a virgin still, she's pretty much a die hard traditionalist. But she is so damn open about he sexuality to me, any other ways?
He always asks me for pictures, bras, and sends me porn. I've told my grandmother, but she didn't want to see the messages, because she thinks hes a good person. She said I was over reacting.
Cousin, brother, uncle or what?
Also are you hot?
>>17098697
He's my cousin.
>>17098703
how old is he? probably a lonely bro in his awkward years i guess?
Guise I need help. So there's this girl right, and she's everything I've ever wanted in a woman and I am everything she has ever wanted in a man.
And I've got a girlfriend, and we're all close friends (to the point of making out and shit) and I was always thinking of but am now realising that I don't actually love her. But she's a total sweetheart and I don't want to break her heart by leaving her.
This fucking sucks right now because I am not happy with this girl and I want to be with the other one but I can't just leave here for the other one that's just not socially acceptable fuck me what do I do?
>>17098678
If you aren't happy with her, leave her. The longer you wait, the more attached she'll likely become, and the more it will hurt for her.
>>17098686
This will be the second time I'm leaving her in the last 2 months. Plus lately, as I've said, we've been having "moments" together, all three of us and she's foreseen me falling for the other one.
Even if we hide our dating after I leave her, she'll know what's going on
>>17098728
Listen, obviously you're on the fence about this. Are you sure you don't love her, and you're not just having "grass is greener syndrome"? Perhaps you should reflect on your relationship. This other girl could seem more appealing initially, as she may make up for the faults your girlfriend has.
On the other hand, why did you break up with her the first time? Was it because of this girl?
I crave female attention. I know it's wrong. My longing manifests itself in bad ways. I spend lots of money on prostitutes. I just graduated college today, got $300 from friends and family, and the first thing I want to do is spend it on hookers. I am lonely.
I want to believe I can be the man I want to be. Strong, rich, a great father and husband. I want to believe I will find a woman one day who really loves me and I can share my life with. I want a happy marriage and family.
I guess I don't need advice, I need encouragement. I am a bit overweight....
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i suggest reading this:
http://www.oplysning.org/uploads/9/1/4/3/9143605/a_new_earth-eckhart_tolle.pdf
might help you with opening up to people. it helped me a ton to stop being such an asshole, which i was. being an asshole feels good until you realize you are dead inside.
>>17098656
I have actually read that book before. It helped, but a lot of the concepts may have been lost on me.
I really want help not spending money on whores that don't care about em and finding a woman who will be my companion.
this might sound like a dick question, but why do you want a woman that will care about you? (asking for real answer, if you'd like to try to give it)
