Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 849. page
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I don't feel manly at all and I think it is contributing to my low self-esteem. The obvious solution would be to do things that I find manly or that make me feel manly but the only things I come to mind that are manly are things that the society around me consider manly (which stands to reason). These things are also things that I feel are bad, for example:
-aggression / fighting / overt confrontation (which would get me in to trouble)
-"slaying pussy" (which even if I were attractive enough to pull off (I'm not) then I would be drastically increasing my risk of getting an STD, I also just find the idea of having sex be so meaningless kind of depressing)
- general risky behaviour and disregard for my own safety such as extreme sports, doing dangerous jobs that can leave me mangled or dead
- unfounded/founded confidence (no confidence; see low self-esteem, I can't fake it, I'm a terrible long-term liar)
Basically I'm having trouble identifying any positive masculine behaviours that are accepted by society that can make me feel more manly. Can you people give me some examples of some of these positive masculine behaviours that might help me?
>>17127399
Part of manliness is building amazing things and helping keep the world stable, imo. It's also partly something you can define yourself.
Can't fit a square peg into a round hole, anon. If you find yourself unable to bring yourself to do those types of behaviors, then constantly thinking about them isn't going to do you any good, just like your OP post says.
You should try to form your own identity out of what you feel like as an individual. Sure, you're a man, but that doesn't necessarily take precedence over every other aspect of your personality. Your sex is just one aspect of a multifaceted personality, and it can be as important or unimportant as you decide it can be.
You build self esteem by seeing yourself as competent. Find things you're competent at and do them. If you're not good at anything, find something you're decent at and work at it until you're good at it.
Congrats on being able to think with your brain and not your dick, sure maybe it makes you less "manly" but I can assure you that it makes you a lot more pleasant to be around.
>>17127399
How old are you? This sounds like an issue of maturity rather than "manliness"
been having a strange pain in lower right abdominal quadrant for about 3 days now, feels like a pulled muscle but is not going away.
sort of feeling like back pains too, worried it is appendicitis.
how likely is this? I don't have insurance so avoiding doctor unless absolutely needed, no severe pain so it's not urgent.
can it linger for a few days before getting bad?
this is where the pain is, lingering ache that feels like it may "pop"
like the feeling you get right before you crack a joint
>>17127379
dude if it is appendicitis and your appendix pops, you're fucked. fucked as in pretty much dead unless it pops while you're in the hospital. see a doctor senpai
>>17127379
Just a CNA here, but it's possible. Are you male or female? How is your personal care? Diet, activity level? Any other symptoms? Low grade fever, nausea, dizziness? Has the pain remained in the pain in the same position? Are you in the states? Medicaid is retroactive. If you decide to go to the er you can apply for it afterwards and it should cover it. If not, and you're young enough to let it go to collections, do that, or you can work out payment plans with facilities. There's always options, OP.
I hate all the girls that like me and like girls that hate me. What do?
Stop the hate or feel all he un-gay melt away
>>17127377
Problem is you are ugly OP. Hit the gym, get better clothes.
>>17127644
Nah I'm fit with a handsome face. I got money and I dress well, kind of slackercore and basic but I don't dig going full effay. It's more a mental thing like when a girl does catch feelings I get turned off. When a girl hates me it just makes me want her more.
This is on my back. It is hard and scaley, I can peel bits of it off on the first layer and it grows back
What the fuck is it?
A melanoma maybe? Shit, I'm no doctor.
>>17127329
Dirty aids scabs filthy mofo go take a spa bath
>>17127395
It's fleshy not a scab
It started small, just like a tiny rough speck of skin, got bigger as I kept ripping it off and it growing back more
Yo
So, um, I've run through like 3 pairs of reletively expensive earbuds within the last month and it's all because sound won't come out of one randomly. Like, I'll just be using it and suddenly sound only comes out of one earbud and only seems to work again normally if I twist it or hold it a certain way.
So, yeah. Is there a way for me to fix them easily?
It's the jack socket on your mp3 device that's faulty you moron.
Keep purchasing additional earbuds.
>>17127323
OPfag here
No, it's not, because I've tried them on different devices and it's always the headphones. Plus the earbuds are usually fine for a while until something happens and they break.
My brothers friend is always trying to flirt with me, and we agreed to go out. I didn't want to have sex or anything. I just wanted to hang out because my other friend bailed on me that night. I had zero attraction to him. Well we ordered food and went back to this park (it was at night, totally empty) to eat. Then he grabs my thighs and out of no where starts to stick his hands down my pants and finger me. I said no a few times and even tried to pull his hand out, but I think he just thought I was playing rough. I didn't look at him the entire time. It was disgusting. It was not intimate and I haven't answered his texts since. He knew I wasn't attracted to him like that. He also pulled out some of my hair and ripped my earring out.
I feel very dirty. Should I report this?
I didn't want to do any of this. And I didn't engage. I just waited for him to stop.
>>17127283
I've seen plenty of people post complete bullshit that they claim is sexual assault on here, but this is actual, legitimate sexual assault.
Yes, OP, report it. There is no way to make this reasonably okay.
>>17127299
Thank you for understanding. I think I will.
>>17127283
You didn't grab his hand out or attempt to get up and away from him? Didn't scream or firmly say no? Didn't attempt to fight? Didn't even think to report it outside of some chinese gardening board? I know it takes a few moments to fit your hands down the tight jeans you were probably wearing.
You're a passive slut with no self esteem. You would have actually resisted if you considered it a threat to your body. Disgusting indeed.
I have a scar on the front of my shin that I want to cut out with a scalpel. My plan is to use fish hooks to pull the skin together after the scarelease tissue has been excised. How long can I leave hooks embedded in my skin before they have to be changed out, and how deep do the incisions need to be? Is superglue effective at keeping wounds closed? The scar is one inch long and one quarter inch wide.
>>17127252
Just leave it until you can afford proper surgery you mong
>>17127252
You're going to get infected.
>>17127256
Normal stitches would be ripped apart due to the location on the front of the skin. I think only fish hooks would be strong enough, and no doctor would do that for me.
How do you get a guy to take a fucking hint?
We were talking about movies and he was pissed at his friends for going on mothers day without him, so he was complaining about not having anyone to go with. I told him "well, I don't have anyone either" and smiled and he said "well, I guess we're in the same boat" and he walked off.
He can't be this dumb. Is he trying to get me to ask him out? I thought guys were the ones who did that shit. I'm not opposed to asking a guy out but if that's weird and I'm getting the wrong vibe than idk
>>17127247
>How do you get a guy to take a fucking hint?
One girls "OMG I WAS MAKING IT SO OBIVOUS, WAI HE NO MAN UP AND ASK ME OUT?" is another girls "OMG, CREEP, I WAS JUST BEIN' FRIENDLY".
That's why.
Even if a guy gets the hint, and sometimes we do, we might not think it's worth the risk.
Seriously, I've seen the sweetest, most innocent girls have their personality do a complete 180 on someone just for asking them out.
Like, they could have just said "Sorry, you're not really my type" but instead they have to call him a creep and shit.
It's just cruel.
>I told him "well, I don't have anyone either" and smiled.
On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is friends and 10 is banging like rabbits, what you did is a solid 5.
Too fucking ambiguous.
>s he trying to get me to ask him out? I thought guys were the ones who did that shit.
Well, that's just sexist.
>I'm not opposed to asking a guy out but if that's weird and I'm getting the wrong vibe than idk
Shit, if you like him just ask him out. Guys actually tend to be flattered when a girl likes them. We do not got offended about it and lash out.
>>17127247
Well he is either dumb or he isn't interested. Try again to get confirmation.
Also it's 2016, you can ask a guy out if you really want to...
>>17127247
As a guy, I can say, a disturbing ammount of men ARE that dumb.
hey /adv/
I talked to my ex gf in person for the first time in 2 months. I was going to apologize for what i did and accept that i could've fixed it but i didnt. However, I choked up for the most part and butchered the shit out of it. My ex is the manipulative type, so I'm done trying with her anyways. But this brings up another dilemna for me, how do i stop being a pushover and standup for myself? I'm really bad with confrontation and I usually take the blame even though I know I am in the right. How can I stop being a wussy?
anybody?
>>17127243
>how do i stop being a pushover and standup for myself? I'm really bad with confrontation and I usually take the blame even though I know I am in the right. How can I stop being a wussy?
Be confident.
That's all it takes.
>>17127243
Talking to an ex is like taking a shit where you sleep.
I found this letter in my backpack I remember finding this gun wrapper and putting it in my backpack but didn't find it till months later which was last Friday. I found out which girl it was and I want to ask her out for a while but I thought I was dreaming to a head so I didn't. So after I found this letter and found out it was her I think of asking her out. How do I approach to her? By asking if she wrote me that letter than ask her out after she confirms or what?
>>17127195
Keks
>>17127190
Just do it, damn it, she already made the move.
Tell her you just found her letter and you would like to take her out to.. I don't know, treat her an ice cream or something.
Long story short, I don't think I'm happy with my girlfriend anymore. I really don't want to break up with her, but I feel as though it's been ages since I've actually looked forward to seeing her, or what it's like to see an incoming message from her and be happy about it.
Can I make myself happy again? Is that a thing you can do?
can you give more context? do you maybe know why you feel that way?
>>17127201
because more info would help.
how long have you been together - where is this coming from - why don't you want to break up with her - are you happy in life - is she happy in life - is she nice to you - are you nice to her ....yadayada
>>17127201
I don't know, but when we lay together I just feel empty. Like, "Staring into deep space in the middle of the dark", empty.
I feel like I'm missing out on sex. I'm in my early twenties and haven't been successful in dating. I'm quite an attractive guy and go out fairly often, but when it comes to dating or pulling I just haven't had any success.
I know eventually I may find myself a partner, but I feel like I'm missing out before then. I feel like I'll only find someone later on in life, maybe in my thirties, and by then I will have missed out on the youthful, passionate experiences of being young. I feel like I'll never see the hunger in the eyes of a young woman again, if you get me?
I just don't know what to do or feel about this.
Post pic or suck dick op
don't go to privatesextapes.com
just don't
your heart will sink
>>17127159
>I'm quite an attractive guy and go out fairly often
>but when it comes to dating or pulling I just haven't had any success.
It's either A or B, dude. Attractiveness is not measured in looks. I know it's difficult to accept this, but the sooner you do, the further you'll be removed from the core demographics of /adv/ in terms if experience and understanding of women.
Protip: Learn how to hold a conversation like a man.
>I feel like I'll never see the hunger in the eyes of a young woman again, if you get me?
No, I don't get you. Very few things prevents men in their 30s and 40s to sleep with women in their early twenties.
Hi /adv/ so here's my predicament
Got a pretty cute girlfriend and stuff and we always have a really good time when we're together.
However
My problem is that whenever I have to go to work or something she always freaks out and says how we never hang out (when in reality I spend nearly all of my time with her if I'm not working, or doing college shit)
Just today we were in public and she went off on me for pretty much no reason cause like I told her I had to go to work and we couldn't hang out today. Keep in mind it feels like this happens every week. We always hang out on the weekends and have fun times, no quarrels at all. But when I can't hang out with her during the week, she'll flip out and shit like this
So today I walked her to her car and told her how we go through this like every week (and by this point she's in tears) and how I'm done putting up with it. I remind her I always give her reasonable explanations as to why i can't hang out with her on certain days, I'm not out hanging with buds or fucking other girls.
I didn't give her a hug or kiss goodbye I just said "I'll be seeing you" and left. Should I just dump her? I don't know it's kind of annoying doing this cause I know how she works and that we'll be going through this routine again next week.
What the dick do I do
>>17127151
You've gotta dump her. She's being unreasonable even when you make your schedule perfectly clear.
First hand source here:
My gf and I always tell each other when we can and can't hang out. The most we will ever say is "sucks you have to work", "that's lame asf", etc.
Get a woman who is in control of her emotions and understands that the world doesn't revolve around them.
>>17127163
Not this.
But he has a point, so just teach her how to be in control of her emotions. You did good OP, don't answer her calls or texts for a few days (3-5). Get it out of your system. Then go back to her acting like nothing happened, treat her as nice as ever. Repeat every time she behaves like this. Just tell her you're not having it, and leave on your best behaviour. She will either learn, or you'll start fucking other women at some point.
>>17127163
>>17127163
I definitely don't wanna say goodbye forever. Like maybe I could try again in like a month to see if she's learned anything. Then if she still does shit like this I never get back together.
I've never even like abandoned her. I call and text her everyday. I could see if there was a problem if I made no contact for like a week but fuck it's always just a DAY or so when I don't hang out
I hate my mother and i wish i didn't.
Because of my childhood, in my opinion at least- i've become the most informed, polite, understanding and confident guy. With a good personality and genuinely unique interests to boot.
However from this..i was raised by mostly my mother- who is an old bat. I wish she was dead and i regret even saying that. She's got an obvious a borderline personality disorder.
She milks things out of people using breast cancer that was treated years ago, she flies into fits of rage when her thoughts or ideas of challenged (to family or strangers), breaks things, stomps her feet, and has even threatened me or my romantic interests in the past (i now lie about even having girlfriends)
She put my father tens of thousands of dollars into debt from casino games and drank herself into rehibilitation (she's clean now).
The smaller things are impossible to list. But my question is: how can i come to terms with this? I barely talk to her- and when i do; something cringe-inducing happens and i want to just get drunk with friends to forget about it with fun times instead(unhealthy).
I don't know what to do besides ignore the cunt and my father too (unfortunately).
Has anyone dealth with this? What will happen that i might expect, or might not expect?
I wish i had access to therapy; but i do not.
>Because of my childhood, in my opinion at least- i've become the most informed, polite, understanding and confident guy. With a good personality and genuinely unique interests to boot.
Holy shit you're me. I've never seen someone state these same exact qualities that have emerged from their situation, apart from myself.
I'm in the same boat as you, but with a narc mother. My family is still whole, but I'm moving out soon as things have gotten way worse lately. Maybe you could do the same, but in your case I think it would be best to visit her from time to time, more often in the beginning but slowly spreading them out.
I'm sorry about your situation, I know how bad BPDs are. But just remember that it's a mental disorder. She wouldn't have been like this if she were normal. I think understanding that alone will help you.
>>17127147
It's frustrating; because anyone i've ever talked to says i should "accept her"- but doing that is just turning myself into a doormat.
It's impossible and it makes me believe that not all mental disorders should be tolerated; because they're extremely hurtful and toxic.
If you need to vent; you can talk here and i can add things that might've helped my situation.
WARNING: It's impossible to move out properly with parental types like this.
Could you do a one-man good cop/bad cop routine? By that I mean, be constantly switching back and forth between sweetness, anger, moral judgement, sorrow, pity, mockery and insults? Can you get away with disrespecting your mother? Can you make her fear you?
ive been in a relationship for a 1 and a half years that i really didnt want to be in. im a robot and its the first girl that ever was nice to me and wanted to be with me, she asked me and i said yes because i thought thats what i wanted. i realised within the first month that it wasn't but wanted to give it more of a chance. a few months went by and i really didnt but couldnt break it off because im beta and shes super reliant and clingy on me. i really dont know what im doing anymore. please help me.
>>17127110
Just tell her things aren't working out. Any other methods are a waste of time for both of you.
Good luck
>>17127110
Make a choice
If you want to break up, then do so
If you want to stay with her, then do so
Eezy breezy, make a decision
>>17127117
>>17127120
its really not that easy. shes so invested and reliant on me, it would destroy her completely. im close to her family too who would hate me so much and im scared of what would happen on that front too.
