Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 850. page
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I am currently living with one of my friends from college. He basically only plays video games and watches TV. Despite this he has an extremely inflated opinion of himself. He basically demands special treatment at all times and bitches endlessly if he doesn't get it. Its really fucking grating and he doesn't care at all if he brings the people around him down. He talks shit about everyone. He always has some stupid opinion on who people are dating even though he has no game himself. He can't even understand people having a different point of view. Like his opinion is the only one even possible. How can I get him to be less of a douchebag if he basically doesn't respect me at all? I don't really care that he is lazy
>>17127105
Ditch him
>>17127105
If you don't like him then why is he your friend?
And you can't get people to change unless you have power over them somehow. You need leverage or it will never happen.
Is he a jew?
Dating someone with BPD
Advice? Stories?
We're actually going on 4 years, but lately i've had a lower tolerance for her outbursts. Not going to dump her atm and i'm well aware I stuck dick in crazy. Just sucks when I can't relax or focus on making myself happy without dealing with pointless drama.
Just looking for advice to calm her the fuck down/not blow up on her when she starts going psycho on me.
>too broke for therapy
>tried some breathing exercises found online, doesn't really work because she's already gone overboard before she can do them
Any advice or stories are appreciated. Thanks!
>codependent?
Just to be clear you mean borderline personality disorder and not bipolar depression?
I've know some people with borderline, I don't know why you'd ever date one.
>>17127090
get out now. things will only get worse, i promise you this. i do not have time to type out my story, but know that i am the voice of experience. for your own sake, get far away from this person as soon as possible.
>>17127141
Hi pantiliner guy! How's that restraining order going?
Been dating my girlfriend for about a month and around two weeks ago her bestfriend attempted (and failed) suicide.
Then her bitch friend was a bitch and they cut contact.
Last night while she was working something happened so bad that she doesn't want to talk to me about it because she "doesn't want to cry" and wouldn't text me or talk to me all day, she explicitly said she didn't want to because she "might snap" whatever she means by that.
I'm considering breaking up with her because she's clearly having problems and doesn't want me to help which is not good for either of us, but at the same time I want to be there for her because I like her and all that corny shit.
What would you do in my shoes? Do you think this is depression or something else?
>>17127058
>she's clearly having problems and doesn't want me to help which is not good for either of us
You daft cunt.
You have been together for a month, she has no obligation to tell you everything that bothers her
You aren't qualified to help her, you hearing about anything will provide no help, chances are you will make her feel worse
What would I do in your shoes? fuck that, I'll tell you what I did in a similar situation
>give her advice on someone to talk to e.g. Samaritans (don't know if that's a group outside of the UK or if there are equivalents in other countries) or a therapist
>if the situation still doesn't improve, slowly get distant (like over 2 months) and break things off, don't blame the situation, just say things aren't working out
You are stupid to think that you can save her or help.
>>17127058
>I'm considering breaking up with her because she's clearly having problems and doesn't want me to help which is not good for either of us, but at the same time I want to be there for her because I like her and all that corny shit.
Are that much of a cunt to run away from your partner when things heat up? Don't be so immature and just BE there for her. If she wants to talk about it she'll come around. Don't force that shit, it's not like you can do much to help.
Be patient. Don't be clingy, focus on yourself and workout.
>>17127083
Whoa man, I'm saying this because we've only been dating for a month and she's being ridiculously distant during this. I'm not saying she is obligated to explain, but I helped her out of the other two situations and it worked so I mean, it's different this time. It's the fact that she wont even talk to me, so even when I know how to cheer her up she simply won't even allow it
![Shimoneta---07-(BDRip-1920x1080-x264-FLAC)_[7383417A].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/RGKbElb.jpg "Shimoneta -07-(BDRip-1920x1080-x264-FLAC) [7383417A]")
am I gay if I'm not turned on by loli? I have tried countless times, but it either doesn't do anything for me, or (in some cases, depending on the art) it makes me feel sick.
Am I supposed to find loli attractive just because of the fact that I'm a heterosexual man?
this is not bait or a troll post, really tried, but I think something's wrong with me
I hear people say that men are inherently attracted to females younger than the arbitrary age of consent, but that they have to act like they aren't. so I figure, if I really don't find them attractive, there might be something wrong with me? I mean loli is so popular on 4chan, not even only /a/ so it seems like it's the norm to find the attractive. I know I might sound autistic and retarded, I just don't want my sexuality to be "broken"
>>17127029
Is this bait?
>>17127029
Yes, you're gay but not for the reasons you think.
Are you retarded?
Hey normies, how do you break up with someone that still loves you?
I've been pretty much in this relationship out of guilt and fear they might commit sudoku if I break it off.
Please help.
I like sudoku.
Oh, and you can call a mental health hospital, and effectively have her put under surveillance in a facility until she calms down.
It gets her off you back, and gives her something to brag/bitch about when she berates you and gossips to all of her friends.
So... Yeah. Have fun.
>>17127016
Slowly distance yourself, I don't mean stop texting or anything abrupt, but just do other things, stop being available for plans (that doesn't mean cancel) and tell her that things aren't working out.
If she starts offering sex etc don't fall for it, tell her you want to try and sort things, this will prepare her, then a week later end things citing differences or something like a lost "spark".
Can I ask why you think she will try and kill herself? do you have any reason to think that? or do you just think you are brilliant and she won't handle life without you?
Hey guys. Can you please give me tips on how to improve my skin quality? The reason why I'm asking for your help is that I have been in a relationship with a girl for over a year now. Now she is amazing. She has both the looks and the personality. I've been noticing that she takes care of her skin so much. She washes them everyday with some foam and some other stuff (sorry, I'm a guy, don't know what you girls actually use) and as a result has the softest cheek I've ever touched.
Recently, I've been feeling bad because she goes to such lengths to look good (I'm not saying she is doing all this just for me) and I on the other hand don't really care about my skin. I've got quite a few scars left from back when I popped my spots in college and stuff. I want her to see the best side of me and be proud to be in a romantic relationship with me.
So I beg you guys, what can I do to improve my skin?
My efforts so far:
Drastically reduced the amount of Coca-Cola I drink over the past few months (from 5-6 cans a day to 1-2 cans a day)
Started washing my face with soap and water every other day, nothing fancy.
Drink more water.
Thank you.
Pic related
Other side of my face
>>17126993
Keep doing what you're doing, man. It seems you're doing okay.
I used to have skin like yours. I suggest that you cut out refined sugar entirely, as well as eliminating processed foods.
That helped immensely for me. Also, I only wash my face with water and a rag. No soap, as it dries out the skin. Try that for a week and see how you like it.
Hello /adv/ I would use an advice right now as I'm clueless as fuck.
Here is the situation.
Be me, a 22 year old male. Gets friendly with his coworker, we hang out together for 5 months. Last Saturday I confessed to her. She's 30 year old, without kids. She rejected me at first due to the age difference but we kept cuddling. Next day she agreed to meet with me. We talked it over and decided to give it a try.
She said that it would be weird if we keep being a coworkers while we are in a relationship. That is ok with me as I've been searching for a new job.
Here comes the second problem.
I call few people, get an offer for new job. I talk with my boss about quitting my current job. The boss offers me higher pay as the new offer. I've been working for this company for 2 and a half year.
So my dilemma is following:
>Take the new job, get the gf.
>Keep the current job, but I might lose the gf. If it won't work I would be stuck with her at the workplace.
I don't want to burn bridges at the old work place.
I have also never been in a romantic relationship. I would like to hear your opinions as I lack the experience to make the decision.
Pic is me as I don't have other stuff in the phone.
Well if you choose to stay, then you'll be stuck with an awkward atmosphere between you and 'gf'. Is that worth the extra pay?
Make her quit her job instead? Are tou going to be making more money than her?
>>17126992
Why would you quit your job for a girl? Plenty more fish in the sea. Have her quit.
I brush twice a day but my teeth are still pretty yellow. I think it's because I drink a good bit of soda.
Other than dropping that shit, any whitening tips?
Drink light sodas. Also the obvious is avoid smoking, tea, coffee, etc.
Bicarbonate soda is very good, but use rarely otherwise you'll fuck your teeth up.
>>17126963
I use baking powder with my toothpaste, the gritty parts help a bit.
I have heard crushed charcoal helps, but I have never tried.
Other option you can go to the dentist, and try teeth whitening, if it is a concern. I have yet to try this also?
>>17126963
Maybe that's your natural teeth color? Ask a dentist before you corrode your teeth with whitening products
>22
>most people my age think of themselves as adults
>I don't
How to change? I feel helpless in the face of challenge
>>17126949
You're barely an adult man.
They only say that because they feel the exact same way you do.
Just know that there's no set path, and that this is the time to take risks, and enjoy your mid-twenties. As long as you're working and keeping things paid on time, you'll end up where you end up.
I'm 31 with a house, wife and small child. But I still feel like a child on the inside. I feel like I'm just pretending to be an adult.
There's no such thing as "being an adult".
Here's the difference between being a kid and an "adult": One pays taxes and has debt.
That is literally it. You can absorb as much or as little responsibility as you want, but you're just as much an adult as the next guy
Who here gets migraines often?
I got one this morning when I woke up. In fact, the migraine was the thing that woke me up and it messed up the start of my day. How do you guys deal with migraines?
All I could do was take two Advil tablets and go back to sleep. Migraines suck
>>17126941
>All I could do was take two Advil tablets and go back to sleep. Migraines suck
That's pretty much the only thing you can do when a migraine comes. I used to get them often as a couch potato. I started exercising a lot more and they have gradually gone away, now I only get a slight headache once every few months.
>>17126941
I get them. I have them more if I'm sleep deprived or if I get a lot of eyestrain or am exposed to flashing lights (even just driving behind a snowplow at night). Sinus inflammation, certain neck positions (thank you car accidents), stress, and too many food additives in too short a period of time can do it too. Sometimes I'll get really bad pain with them, other times I don't, but I always get light and noise sensitivity and wooziness.
Topamax and Inderal seem to help prevent them somewhat. Topamax had bad side effects for me. Inderal is more tolerable. Have used stuff like DHE (I think both the IV infusion and the nasal spray), tea from morning glory seeds (uncoated), etc. with varying effectiveness. The nausea from DHE got to me in spite of anti-nausea drugs, so it wasn't useful for a "take it and go back to work" type treatment.
A lot of times I would try stuff, try to deal with the side effects, give up, and go back to taking Tylenol and going to bed. That's pretty much what I do now. I have black curtains on the bedroom windows and I live in a quiet town, so I can isolate myself from noise and light pretty well. I call it "House of Usher mode." Only thing is, if I can't actually sleep right then, it's fucking boring because my head feels like a rotten tooth and even trying to listen to music or a podcast can hurt. Occasionally if the lights are dim I can read a book or work on something with pen and paper, but that's about it, and it's hard to concentrate. If I can sleep though, it seems to go away faster. Sometimes I will feel super depressed for a day or so right after a big migraine.
The other thing that seems to help a bit is that every few months I get subcutaneous lidocaine shots in my scalp and neck. That interrupts it if I'm having one at the time, and it also seems to help them not recur as badly for a couple months. I get those from my neurologist.
>>17127061
Also wanted to add: on the light/noise sensitivity tip, if anybody can think of any activity that a person can do that doesn't require the lights to be on and doesn't involve noise much if at all - i.e. something I could do when I have a migraine and can't sleep, and am just waiting it out - I would be so grateful. Right now all I can think of is fapping, meditation, or maybe some kind of brain puzzle or something.
Is it morally wrong for me, a 19, nearly 20 year old to fuck a 16, nearly 17 year old?
If so why?
Not at all in my opinion (I'm a femanon). This is a very normal and natural age difference.
Just be safe and don't get her pregnant.
Have fun and enjoy your youth!
>WOW I FOUND LE NONSENSICAL CONSENT LAW LOOK GUYS DIS LAW MAKES NO SENSE
Thank you captain obvious. Do whatever you want OP. If you get tried for statutory rape, enjoy the consequences.
>>17126976
She's pretty thirsty for my dick mang. I turn 20 in a month and she turns 17 in 3
Is there a way to become less cynical?
I'm determined to work hard at it, but not matter how hard I try, it seems pointless...
read meditations, by marcus aurelius.
>>17126896
And which part of cynic are you trying to shake off from your personality? And why?
>distrusting or disparaging the motives of others;
>showing contempt for accepted standards of honesty or morality by one's actions, especially by actions that exploit the scruples of others
>bitterly or sneeringly distrustful
>contemptuous
>pessimistic
>a person who has negative opinions about other people and about the things people do
Boy one looks educated when spamming definitions from dictionaries :-)
>>17126909
Pessimistic and bitter, about basically everything new. Unless it's good, which seldomly is the case.
im thinking of heavily drinking for the first time after my finals week with some friends, what type of drink do you recommend and any advice of what i should i expect?
As a functioning alcoholic I'd say start with something easy. Eat good, can't stress that enough. Drink water during drinking, and put some water next to your bed. Try to avoid heavy liqour, and most of all, have fun!
>>17126893
Natty Ice
>>17126893
4loko + jagermiester = a great time
Tequila is dope too
Stick to beer for the majority of the night, then get shots. Also everclear makes for interesting times.
So i have gotten myself in some deep shit with my ex gang . I'm not a nigger, so the story goes, people are saying i told some shit about a girl while i didn't, and the two like main guys of the gang want to beat me up and one other guy who was one of the possible guys who told the shit, they all know where i live and my school and shit, they're the biggest, strongest gang in the city and i don't think it's possible to talk out, i know alot of people who are against them, possibly few people equally strong (talking fist fighting) but not stronger than them in the numbers, i'm so fucking scared one of the guys wanted to meeet me now in fucking 12 am in a near by shop, am i gonna get beaten to death or what? I wouldn't be that scared if it wasn't for my leg which has a titanium rod inside, i'm not a snitch and don't even wanna get the police involved because it's gonna get my fucking house burned down. I can't get a gun and will not use anything else.
hire mercenaries\people to do your stuff
bodyguards too
That's your own damn fault for getting involved with shit people, OP. Deal with it.
Read some shit about diplomacy. And don't show them that you are scared.
Hey guys I'm in a serious emotional rut in my life. I'm a terrible communicator so bear with me.
It all started with me meeting this amazing girl who came to be my girlfriend. We'll call her Kiki. The day i met her, and I swear to this, was the greatest day of my life. The day a few days after, when we established ourselves as in a relationship was even better. I loved absolutely everything. I swear on my life she was absolutely perfect in every concievable way. Before her, I had never come close to anyone. I could never ever feel a connection with anyone and I had never been in a relationship before. I had a bestfriend once who abandoned me and went down a dark path and became garbage. But before her, I never truly felt alive or like I was a human enjoying life with everyone else. When I met her, everything was perfect. We looked alike, we had the same music interests, we even found out that we both wore the same pair of black skinny jeans everyday without washing them almost ever. She was great and I loved absolutely every single second I spent with her. The only thing I didn't like we're thoughts of her and who she'd been with in the past. Jealousy stuff. But other than that, we had the most amazing relationship and no two people could have ever been more in love and happy to know eachother than we were.
But then a few months passed and I noticed a change in myself. I began to become more lazy romantically, I started to gain weight, and jealousy and obsessions over her past starter to intensify. I became a lot meaner and inconsiderate. And I started remembering lies which started weighing down my conscious and ruining my time with her. I bc and more irritable. I kept asking questions about the past and I couldn't stop. The arguments got more heated and heated and it was not only that, it was me for some reason not being able to control my emotions or impulses and getting obscenely upset over stuff that I never would have.
My anxieties about wondering if I had lied to her about other things started to take a toll on me. The past had started eating away at me. I was always an extremely depressed person, but before the shift, around her I was always happy and positive. I started to get emotionally abusive. Saying horrible things that I didn't mean but for some reason I couldn't control. It was like someone injected me with PCP and I just went on rampages. Things like seeing her with a picture of her and her ex-boyfriend. That would send me into this psychotic fit of rage and I would try and convince her she was ugly but apologize either once I calmed down (which always followed exteme guilt, emotional numbness, and tiredness) or if she started to defend herself which would take me outside of my person and I would become aware of how pathetic and childish what I was doing. I made sure she knew I didn't mean it and she told me she loved me and that she forgave me and that she would wait for me to get better. It progressed until it was everyday. My mind running wild with thoughts instantly going for the worst place. Every day would end up with her in tears and me apologizing and saying I was gonna get better but I couldn't. Don't get me wrong, I was a good boyfriend. I wrote her an album about how wonderful she was, wrote letters about her, and wrote her millions of paragraphs about how wonderful she was. I made sure everyone on earth knew how happy I was that I even knew her.
Her friends, who used to all be in love with me because I used to be an extremely popular, positive and fun guy, ended up getting involved and they would end up hating me and tell her I wasn't good for her. I was immature and thought to myself "fuck them, they're stupid they don't understand our love." I was blind to the fact that I had completely changed since our relationship had been as nice as it was. This went on for months until the day we were supposed to go to prom. An argument about her lying to me about getting drunk and her not wanting to cut off a friend who tried to kill himself for her to be in a relationship with him resulted in some very psychotic shit happening. We ended up going to prom after it all and it was kinda bad. But the next day I went to Atlanta and she kept saying she wanted to break up because she had fucked up so bad. I got back and kept trying to see her and tried for two weeks straight to get back together and she kept saying "I need space" but i knew she was going to just try and get out of the relationship before I could improve. But then the pain of her leaving me matured me. It made me realize all the shit I had gotten mad about was so stupid and it was like every personality flaw I had was fixed. I tried everything, bringing her flowers And food to her work place but to no avail. She avoided me and kept texting me ad telling me she loved me but that we were unhealthy for eachother. Today it's been over two weeks since prom. She's since blocked me on everything and I have no contact. She said she wasn't in love with me but I know it's because I fucked up so bad and hurt her. She had always said she would wait for me to not be shitty anymore and now I'm fixed and changed as a person but I hurt her too bad and she's given me too many chances and now that I've changed it doesn't matter. But we talked about getting married, having kids, going to college and everything. I love her way too much to let her go and not fix the mistakesz
Because one can easily say that I just have to let her go. But I swear that she's the love of my life. And shes only fallen out of love because of the period that I lost control of my emotions and I misrepresented myself. Before I got like that, we we're so happy. Even while the abuse was happening, she couldn't handle literally a day from me (once I asked for a week for us to cool off and she had her mom demand I see her a day later) and I love her and she's the best thing and the only person I want in my life and the only person who isn't shitty. I know if I had the chance I could fix everything because of this experience. But how do I fix this? We had a history off breaking up for s few hours or s day but that was because of pain from arguments.
