Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 852. page
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Repost from the 'ask the opposite sex' thread, but you know how it is with overthinking - once you pop, you can't stop.
I have a crush on a guy. I asked him to help me bake before an event (we both like baking). He agreed. I asked him what time he wanted to meet up, and he decided a time that would give us just the very minimum of time needed for the baking. It was previously established neither of us was doing anything else that day, so he could have chosen an earlier time if he had wanted to.
Does this mean he's not interested? Or would he choose...
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>>17126535
Maybe he just underestimated the amount of time it would take to bake everything?
>>17126555
We'll manage, but I'm just thinking if I had the chance to spend more time with someone I liked (especially romantically, but with friends too), I'd take it, if I had nothing better to do.
>>17126535
>I have a crush on a guy.
>asked him to HELP ME BAKE
AND THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T EVER UNDERSTAND WOMEN. lol
Seriously we guys are SIMPLE beings. If you want to do something with us, you need to give use clear input like:
Hey anon, I am free this weekend, wanna hang out?
Or if you feel like brave lady who doesn't play by the rules:
Hey anon, I like you, do you have any girlfriend now?
But seriously bake a cake? it is like...
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Hey /adv/, this'll be drawn out so be prepared.
I've been with my fiance for 3 years, engaged for one. I'm 21 years old as of last month.
We began in a long distance relationship, her on the west coast, myself in the east. We hit it off great. Same interests, humor, tastes. Eventually, we broke up for a few months while I dated someone else. This broke her heart, and she tried to get me back by losing weight. Starved herself. I ended up going back to get because I felt as though she loved me quite a bit to suffer so badly. She swore she never would be...
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She sounds insecure and like a doormat.
These things happen when you're scolded too harshly as a kid. Even for little things.. Try to be soft on her, she needs someone understanding. If you talk to her about being physically appealing; maybe she can change. If you're being a selfish piece of shit- she can do better; even if she doesn't think so.
When you're gone her attitude will let her be walked all over by someone.
>>17126579
That's my worry. Outside of my infidelity, I'm a genuinely nice person. I don't want her to end up alone or with someone worse. I do care for her.
>>17127410
Man, tell her to fuck off. You're only 21, do you really want to be tied down this youn?
Girls: When is something flirting and when is it just friendly talk?
>I'm asking this because I come from a terrible family where my parents would only argue and fight.
Short of complimenting someone's ass playfully what is considered flirty behaviour/flirting?
>>17126498
Short answer: depends
Long answer: it really depends
>>17126513
mostly this. as much as we try to break down human interaction, each person is different. you are thinking of yourself as an outsider in this situation trying to understand, but truth is we dont know. especially with women. women can be the most flirtatious creatures ever and then say 'WADDAFUGGG I THOUGHT WE WERE JUST FRIENDS?? D :'
if you are worrying about whether or not htey are flirting, just flirt back. plan to make a 'real' move. worse case scenario they say 'WHADAFUGG I...
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>>17126513
Ultimately this is the only real answer. The only thing you can say is that when people flirt they go out of their way to be friendly and make a connection - compared to how they normally act. So that's nothing. For some people it means giving a smile and asking a question, for others standing extremely close and brushing the guy's arm every other second.
So you still have to deduce how she acts to you compared to others, and develop some intuition. But tell tale signs are;
>you...
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So from the many pieces of advice I've received from here and other places it seems the best way to change your life is to slowly introduce new habits into your everyday routine..
Thing is, I'm a major procrastinator and I can never seem to start on anything. I always have thoughts in the back of my head about habits I want to start but I "don't feel like thinking about it right now" so I postpone it, but I also give myself the excuse that I can't start some new habit before thinking about it carefully first.
How the fuck do I break...
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The sun won't rise tomorrow, so if you don't do now what needs to be done, it never will be done.
>>17126986
Ehm.. but the sun will rise tomorrow?
>>17127655
lel
How do you make new friends or find people that like the same things as you?
Especially when you're socially disabled and have anxiety problems.
Come on guys, I'm tired of being alone.
>>17126412
>>17126525
first and foremost, stop blaming social disability and anxiety problems. i have 'anxiety problems' but i do things anyway becuase i want to. its caused minor brain damage recently, but i bounced back cuz i want to do stuff. when you throw out these conditions like 'especially when you're soiall disabled and have anxiety problems'
you are essentialyl saying that you refuse to do normal methods or anything that sounds uncomfortable and that we should find a magic way for you to meet new people. let go of that. nothing great was ever done due to a lack of fear. it was done despite fear. you have more fear than most people about social situations. so be braver than most people.
the following advice was written up for meeting girls, but it works REALLY well for meeting new friends in general. just disregard the notes specific to hitting on women.
>>17126412
>>17126532
>but anon, how do i use it as a supplement to an existing dating life if i dont have a dating life.
effort. lots and lots of effort. and also, doing what you like. going out is in no way restricted to bars and clubs, though if that is what you enjoy, by all means, go to bars and clubs.
the truest way to find chemistry is to experience your life in the most enjoyable way, and see how you match with the people...
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My ex gf brainwashed me. It's been a year since we broke up and I haven't slept with another girl since. I try to jack off to porn...and in the end, I can only finish with her in my thoughts. This is fucking frustrating as hell. When we dated, idk what the fuck she did, but whatever its was, it worked. I STILL cant cum without her fucking permission...I mean the bitch wouldn't even let me look at porn when we dated.... now I cant even look at porn when im single! Do I need therapy?
>>17126379
She didn't brainwash you, idiot, you just have unresolved sentiments that haven't been satisfied with any sort of emotional closure. It also sounds like you've got a submissive kink going on. Go find a dominant lady and enjoy yourself.
>>17126419
>Didn't brainwash you
She would make me sit down with her every fucking week and delete all the porn on my phone...then replace it with naked pics of her.If I wasn't fucking her physically...I was fucking her mentally and had to prove it every week. You tell me if I have a domination kink?
>>17126419
I'll be honest with you, she was beautiful...but id never get back with her. She was just too demanding.
Does anyone on adv see a psychiatrist or psychologist? I need help deciding which one in my area to go with
There's two females and one male mental health provider within reasonable driving distance that accept my insurance. The male has one rating on vitals and it's 1star. Although he appears to have been a professor at the local university. I'm not sure how I feel about speaking to a male though or if I should pick him just because it makes me uncomfortable.
The females have higher ratings, although one doesn't specialize in what I need help witha(anxiety and depression) the other one lives right up the road from me but it's a small town and she's only a psy so I'm worried about confidentiality. The other two live further away.
Thoughts?
>>17126368
>>17126436
i did when i was younger. my advice is to 'shop around'. a psychiatrist for what you need should be a bit of a life coach.
go in and see one. if they try to throw pills at you, thne they arent going to help you. try to find one that talks through your problems, suggests fixes, and follows up to see if you implemented them.
id take the girl who lives up the road. shes in a small town so if she was telling everyones secrets,...
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>>17126466
This. Absolutely. The most important isn't how others rate them (one salty person can do a lot of damage there) or what their official specialty is. If it's someone you're going to share your mind and soul with you want someone you have chemistry with, where you feel they "get" you easily, you are in ways on the same wavelength or at least they can manage getting on yours.
There are A LOT of shitty psychologists. So make a proper screening. Good signs (apart from your gut feeling)...
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>>17126466
Rock-solid logic. Cheers, anon
How to deal with bitter/ jealous people all around you, like family, friends and employees?
So I figure they are bitter about being poor but that shit is destructive and pointless. Its an exaggeration but its kinda like those stories of when people win the lottery and it being the biggest curse because everyone hates them for it, except I worked for everything I have and i'm nowhere near as wealthy.
I guess its haters gona hate but is there another way? I can be a bitter bitch back but that's not me. Equally, If I am too polite and kind it doesn't...
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So you're an arrogant little rich bitch so people hate on you?
Boo fucking hoo.
Can't say I blame them.
>>17126472
As expected m8.. carry on
>>17126472
Poorfag detected. Want me to mail you food coupons?
(don't wait for it to move, just found the first picture I could)
I really need someone to answer me this (will greentext for easier read):
>be me
>about 12
>alone in house, everyone went outside or wherever
>Start hearing someone type on keyboard from fathers office
>hearing this shit for the next 4 years
>decide not to check ever over them in case someone had come home...
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>>17126354
>set your phone or device ready to record sound
>wait for typing sound
>press record
>when it stops go outside and play it back to yourself
>if silence, then its all in your head
>if noise, then hope the demon gives cuddles afterwards
>>17126371
It's pretty random when it happens, it can go days without it, lost a parent at early age (mom was killed when I was 5), do you think this can have to do with it?
schizoid delusions
Any high school teachers here? What is your experience like? Is the job as terrible as some people on other boards claimed?
>>17126343
A good friend of mine is a HS teacher in a shitty area. He's White and 'teaches' 'minorities'. Make sure if you're going to teach that it's in an area where 'students' are willing to learn.
>>17126352
Well obviously these schools suck. I hope I will never have to work at these places. What about the average non-ghetto schools though?
>>17126359
If you get tenure, you're set for life. The complaint i hear is that teachers feel their underpaid for what they do. However, I feel they get paid fairly.
I'm introverted and don't have many friends but I do have a best friend for 25 years, we trusted each other with everything. Recently, he moved to France and revealed to me that he actually never saw me the same way.
He has many friends that he considers closer than me, and after all these years he was just trying to be nice to me since I looked like a loner.
I argued that we shared so many secrets to each other though. No, he actually shared all that stuff to his other friends too, in fact, there's a lot more deeper secrets that I never got to...
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>>17126341
>revealed to me that he actually never saw me the same way.
Reveal how?
Also you must have had an inkling? I mean it's the sort of thing you learn early on, especially if you're a billy-no-mates.
>>17126341
That's mean of your friend to say that to you.
even if they were just being nice they didn't have to say something hurtful like that
>>17126341
similar situation to me recently, though not nearly as extreme. you're a bobcat though so you'll just keep on keeping on. it sucks to suck, but nothing beautiful lasts, it just sucks that it was a lie. maybe try to convince yourself that hes lying and its just his way of distancing himself now that hes in another country. whatever helps.
in the meantime do you want advice to meet new friends
My gf and I love to have sex in public places, the chance of getting caught makes it even better, we've fucked in a park at night on a blanket, had car sex and we've recently had sex in a movie theater when everyone left.
Question is what kind of trouble with the law can we get into if we are caught, neither of us are underage and we are never nude and keep our genitals covered by our clothes (she wears a skirt and I unzip my jeans). Would it be a fine or could it be serious jail time if we are caught?
Derpends on which country you're in.
>>17126295
depends locally and whether or not you get involved with an asshole. if the police catch you then you are in trouble, but no one else can legally detain you so as long as you get up and leave at the first sign of trouble you are fine.
if a cop doesn't see you then what proof is there? their word against yours.
My boyfriend's brother is severely disabled (mentally and physically) and is starting to recognise me and be happy to see me. While this sounds cute, it means that he'll shuffle over to shake my hand. More than half of the time, this is a hand that is covered in a combination of the following: drool, ketchup, brown sauce (which makes me gag), tea, snot, juice or food residue. Of course I shake his hand when it's clean, but this usually isn't the case.
I'm at my boyfriend's parents house now helping with a few things, and his brother essentially backed me into a corner to shake my hand while it was covered in drool, ketchup and brown sauce (again, makes me gag). I felt extremely uncomfortable and I think his mum saw my discomfort, she just ended up calling him away from me.
Now here's the elephant in the room. Some day, myself and my boyfriend might have to take care of him if his parents die. I want to talk to either my boyfriend or his parents about being uncomfortable around the drool and mess, but that's going to open the can of worms of "Well how are you going to take care of him one day?".
I don't know how the hell to approach this situation. I don't want to be a monster and I don't want to look heartless, but the germs are really stressing me out and it might grow into a bigger issue from here.
wut is brown sauce
I would send him to a nurse/mental hospital
>>17126310
I can't think of a good way to describe it, so here's the Wikipedia page: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brown_sauce
My boyfriend's mother made him promise that they wouldn't put him in a home if both parents die. They're too afraid of negligent carers and people mistreating him.
>>17126275
>I don't know how the hell to approach this situation.
Your boyfriend will always love his disabled brother and he will always expect you to be nice and welcoming to him.
Either make some concerted effort to wash your hands more or find a new boyfriend. If you're honestly uncomfortable around it then you and your boyfriend's lives just aren't compatible.
I work with disabled adults so I may have a bit of a biased but I just wash my hands, dude. Its not that terrible. I also have a thing with one of my clients where instead of shaking her hand I've worked with her to greet me with a hip bump or "bows" where we bump elbows like football players. I dunno, get creative.
How do I tell my parents that I have zero interest to go outside and start dating? I am completely content with my mostly neet lifestyle, but they keep trying to tell me to "grow up" and its becoming real annoying. My mom has even asked me if i'm secretly gay and that its okay if I am.
If you are secretly gay its ok bro
>>17126269
do not start
Imagine this, but being 23.
Ok so I got this girls number I work with. She gave it to me when I asked. She's pretty religious and I'm not sure if she has much dating experience. We've flirted and held long eye contact etc. I texted her yesterday and we had a decent convo. She hasn't attempted to text me on her own accord yet. I think I'll have to give her death by a thousand cuts instead of point blank asking her out. Women do this all the time by just being around and friendly till you finally date them. How do I accomplish this as a man?
1. Ask her out
2. Don't expect or try to force sex, given her religious background that would be wrong
3. ???
4. Profit
>>17126214
Thanks anon. I would ask her out but I'm pretty sure the answer would be no so I was thinking get her to hang out with me and burrow my way into her heart like a tick
>>17126219
You do realise that thos shit will backfire?! At the end it will be you falling for her and she'll be walking all over you. Just leave it while you still have an option.
