Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 846. page
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When my boyfriend lectures me and wants my attention, he will act out by grabbing my throat and it's with a lot of force. It really hurts. Or will shake me , or push me. When he gets mad , he has bitten me and hit me, and bruised me, put his hands on my throat. He says I'm the problem. But I don't even say a quarter of what he says or touch him. He can be verbally, mentally, and physically abusive, but otherwise he is great. Can be the sweetest boyfriend. He says he's in love with me, but wouldn't he not touch me in any harm if that was the case ? And he will go out of his way to verbally hurt me any chance he gets. He doesn't really love me , does he ?
Jesus Christ you're being abused and even you know it, don't settle for this guy there's plenty of better fishes out in the sea who won't physically hurt you for "attention".
He may say he loves you, but how far will that love translate when you look in the mirror one day and see bruises all over your body. Ditch the fucker now.
>>17128317
The tricky thing about abusers is that they can love you AND be wrong for you.
OP, find a man who won't hit you or harm you. You deserve better. His feelings don't mitigate his selfish and hurtful behavior. Like all people, he can control himself if he wants. He does not want to, because he doesn't respect you.
Marry this man immediately. He hits you because he cares. /sarcasm /are you fucking serious asking such a dumb question here?
How long does it take to get over someone?
I dated a girl for 5 months. She dumped me. It's been 4 months.
After the breakup, I started going to therapy. I quintipled the amount of friends I had, took her off all social media, I got really into both my job and my major, expanded my hobbies, went on a trip to Europe, had a one night stand and a couple dates, and got back into regularly seeing my family and old friends.
And yet, I still think of her many times a day. It totally kills me. Getting over a 4-year relationship I had wasn't this painful. We had the best summer of our lives together (her words, not mine), we helped each other through a ton of rough shit in the fall. Then she said that she met a guy one weekend and had more fun with him in one weekend going downtown than in our entire relationship, and that she should dump me before she does so much as hug him. Then she added that "you were always there for me, the sex was amazing, but you don't get it and you never will. So bye for good, just get out of my life, never talk to me again."
She didn't even end up dating the guy, she's just alone now, I've heard about her twice from two different friends. What the fuck?
It kills me. It killed my confidence. I feel like a wreck.
She cheated on you and instead of owning up to it she thought it was better for you to think the feelings disappeared
damn i thought my situation was rough.
good luck op
>>17128309
She's an evil bitch man, I know you love her but you love an evil bitch. If she could do that to you, she wasn't for you. You are also dealing with disappointment and betrayal from a person you love, so no wonder you are struggling.
There's a girl that wanted to hang out a lot in my life who seems to be shit testing me after I put out an open invite to anyone to see Captain America again, and she wanted to come. She's doing the whole "wait forever" thing to text me back and then pretending she might be busy.
The thing is, I did this to her too, but I did it mostly because I was really sick and didn't want to make a scene about it. Should I just tell her to buzz off?
We used to text each other immediately all the time so I know it's an act... But I also know she used to like me way more than I did her.
>>17128251
If you really like her let her give you a little shit after all you did it first lol
Are you, by any chance, 9?
>>17128260
I don't, really. I was just hoping to go on a date and see if it was fun. Now I'm dealing with this. I feel bad that I was being a dick but I was dealing with near kidney failure, and I lost 60 lbs.
Hey /adv/ A few months ago I asked a girl out who I came to know and like very much asking her out. She told me that she liked me back but she turned me down on my parents religious grounds.
We decided to remain "Not good friends or in a relationship but somewhere in the middle."
Two days ago I recently asked her if we could give the both of us our first kiss and she agreed saying with both of us reaffirming that we really liked each other.
When it does happen in a private place and if the kiss evolves into heat of the moment sex does /adv/ think I should control my urges or if I can't ask her if she wants to take the kiss further right there while making it clear that I'll respect her boundaries if she doesn't want to?
no dude, if she tries to stop your passion, ignore it. trust me man, girls love a confident and assertive guy. even if she says stop, and that she's not comfortable, it's because she's just scared. but just like the dark, it's because it's unknown to her and you just have to show her.
"controlling" your urges is ridiculous. act like a man for once in your life
>>17128301
>go ahead and rape her, no means yes
>>17128301
So does it not matter even if we're not in a proper relationship?
>How to know your girlfriend is cheating?
Would gladly want to know that..
Got my best friend who is willing to play the bait.
So maybe I could leave them alone while walking to the store or something while he tries to get her to cheat on me.
We both spoke about that already.
Is this "test" kind of too much?
I already got nighmares where she betrays me.
I would gladly apreciate some help.
>>17128227
there's clearly no trust in the relationship. just break up with her, and if you ever feel the need to test your partner's loyalty, break up with them.
>>17128236
Yeah I thought about that..
But otherwise I could be too worried.
And wouldnt I be the asshole if it werent true?
you are a scumbag.
I was having sex with a guy and he moved too fast i was hurt and said please take it out it hurts stop and he said I'll get used to it and he continued and i tried my fist on his belly to make him stop but he didn't
what is this am I in an abusive relationship?
>>17128187
I don't think you're even in a relationship based off how you described the encounter
>having sex with a guy
make sure you're not bleeding, nothing painful no abnormal discharge
if yes -> to hospital/rape clinic you go.
also, sounds like rape (physical/verbal refusal, penetration)
>>17128187
Idiots don't deserve advice.
>>17128187
It sounds like your guy doesn't know how to have sex, maybe watches too much porn? Or he doesn't see you as more than a fuckbuddy.
You need to talk it out and figure out yourself if you're being abused.
I'm extremely manipulative.
For the past year I have been manipulating everyone I work with. I have been subtly finding their flaws and then instigating them to their worst extremes so that they look far worse than they actually are. I do this so that management will give me more hours than them. So far I've managed to get one person fired and another person transferred and possibly fired soon. I've made another question their sexuality and become highly emotionally unstable which aggravates their alcoholism.
I also make sure that the people who I can't get to leave likes me a lot more than they should for a business setting. I make it so that they feel emotionally attached to my presence so that they will respond better to my increased schedule without being jealous.
For example. They other day I altered the schedule so that a co-worker would be placed in a position they despise working because I knew that it would put them into a bad mood and cause them to work poorly knowing full well that we would be extra busy and need to call in more people, all so they could see how poor his attitude was that day.
I feel absolutely no regret or remorse over actions like this. They are merely tactics to survive.
Nah, you are just edgy.
>>17128175
>Nah, you are just edgy.
Yeahhh... the fact that you're posting about it makes it sound more like you're setting up some internal justification because it sounds cool.
You're not
First time moving out.
What sort of advice can /adv/ give me?
Both financial & general know-how are a huge help.
>>17128137
get a job paying loadsamoney
>>17128137
make a spreadsheet where you catalog your daily expenses. You won't instantly start budgeting better, but you'll get in the habit of doing it and you'll eventually start spending smarter.
>>17128165
Already have one. I make 530 monthly and the rent is 220.
Keep in mind this is not in America.
My best friend has a friends with benefits relationship with a girl for 3 years, she left him just recently and now we're in a relationship, is it wrong? I don't know what to think, he's really upset and is taking it real hard.
>>17128131
Well, your friend's kind of an asshole who got attached to another girl who clearly wasn't looking for romance, and you're the rebound. He's still pining after her, while you're the one he fucks. Think about that.
i mean, it's your friends loss he needs to not be butthurt over a girl who clearly wasn't interested in anything more than fucking and who he never asked out. For 3 YEARS man he couldn't shit or get off the pot, soz...
Err... Friend with benefits for 3 years...
Yeah.... No. He's got no claim, right, or ground to be pissed.
My roomate wakes up earlier then like at 6:00 am ( i go to sleep at 1 AM sometimes ) and his alaram usually wakes me up aswell and i can't find myself falling back to sleep, should i visit a doctor, buy some earplugs..any serious suggestions ?
Ask him to lower his alarm volume or ask him to use his phone (vibrating alarm). Do so politely and he should be able to understand
>>17128081
Stop sleeping at 1AM? :\
Go to bed at a normal time
I've struggled with major depression, anxiety and BDD these past 6 years and things have been the same with very upsetting results from the treatment I've been seeking. I just have tremendous loneliness and an inferiority complex whenever I'm around people now. A lot of it has to do with seeking validation.
How do I fight this beast. It's literally ruined my life and some days I even just feel so hopeless and unwanted that I should just kill myself... I'm tired of being told I look creepy and/or that I look bad and that my eyes are weird. I asked this on /soc/ but people only really just made me feel worse by saying to accept I'm unattractive and focus on what I can change. I'd rather hear that I could maybe change anything about my looks to help them and eventually get over this self esteem problem
Could I be handsome If i ended up getting some form of jaw implants or something down the line? I'm not okay with how I look now because I never get complimented or validated as attractive and I can't even score with girls and I notice my personality isn't really seeming to be the key reason for that. I'm definitely not aspiring to be beautiful and universally good looking. But dead ass, currently, I am stagnated In this area where few people probably find me terrible to look at, but basically none actually see any good in how I look either. So that's pretty shit m8
>>17128071
Holy shit. This fag is STILL posting? Haven't you been doing this for several years now? Christ, more than 4 or 5 years AT LEAST
>>17128085
Yes, and literally I never get solid advice like I see all the other people here making threads. It's driven me mad? His can NOBODY consider that I need help?
>>17128134
your face looks fine
how muscular do you look, wt and ht also
Hi everyone, i have a bit of a problem: i have a girlfriend from 2 years and i have tried to tell her that we stay together, but we can do everything with anyone. In theory she respects it, in reality show would probably never do it and would not accept me derailing from our relationship even from a moment, because she had Daddy issues and needs a manly and protettive persone near her. She is sweet, loyal, smart and good looking, but i somehow feel in prison, has someone lived that before? What can i do? I know that my desires are not wrong, because the Life is mine but..
It's a bit late after two years if you don't want to risk the relationship tbqh. Basically you want to go from exclusive to open, and the reason is you feel trapped with her. You need to check yourself and figure out whether you'd feel trapped in monogamy in general, or if it's just with your particular girlfriend. Oneitis is a bitch no matter how wonderful the relationship is. If it feels natural with other girls, the good that it could do could outweighs the damage if holding back. You should read up on polyamory, and really figure out if this is just due to problems in the relationship, or if you could see yourself losing your gf, and then telling all the girls you are dating than this is how you are, risking missing out on long term possibilities with a lot of potentially wonderful women. Browse blackdragon's blog for in-depth.
>>17128712
Thx for the response, i probably wouldnt lose her, but i will destroy her pshych
>[...] because she had Daddy issues
Are you saying that any normal person would accept their partner having sex with others?
Either way, you should figure out why you feel imprisoned. Is it really just that sex has gotten boring and you want to try out new things, or more like new girls? Is it just her, or will you want an open relationship with your next partner (if you end up breaking up) after a couple of years as well?
You can try to make it work but consider whether you love her enough to stay exclusive, or whether you should stay single to fuck around, or maybe start a polyamorous relationship where you both fuck around right from the beginning, etc.
What do I do to improve my aesthetics. No makeup atm. Don't know how to flip picture, hopefully lighting is good enough that it's not necessary.
Also been told I need to smile more (maybe importing I have a rbf?)
>>17128047
Be my gf rn reeeeeeeee
Do you have pink nipples or brown nipples?
so I'm dating this guy and in the third date it lead to sex in his car we had unprotected sex and he said he pulled out i told him to buy morning after pill he did and said let's make the most of the pill and we had sex 2 times again and he fully came in me
he doesn't really care if i be pregnant
what does it mean?
how can he not
he will be in trouble too if i become pregnant
am I just a fuck for him?
>he doesn't really care if i be pregnant. what does it mean? how can he not
Because it'd be your problem, not his.
>he will be in trouble too if i become pregnant
Nah. If he's smart, he didn't give you his real name. Good luck collecting child support from a guy who doesn't exist.
>am I just a fuck for him?
Obviously
>>17128068
>Nah. If he's smart, he didn't give you his real name. Good luck collecting child support from a guy who doesn't exist.
I imagine she has a phone number or something, that could be enough to track him down.
>what does it mean?
It means you're both idiots b/c pulling out doesn't mean anything. Pre-seminal fluid.
>am I just a fuck for him?
You don't know for certain but in all likelihood, probably.
But, he might also be interested in a long term relationship. Feel it out a bit more.
My YOUNGER brother is a little asswipe. He's that one person everybody knows; that arrogant, narcissistic, has to comment on everything person, right? He's a real smartass, yet he isn't even that smart (IQ ~115). He always has some snide comment for me as I walk past him (e.g. "brush your teeth," "what are you looking at?" "do you mind?). He makes these Sherlock-wannabe assumptions on whatever I do, always incorrect (e.g. "I hear you walking down the stairs, anon! Stop trying to sneak up on us!" I'm just getting dinner, you twat).
He's a real suck-up, too. Whenever my mother is home is acts like her bitch. He always tries to make a wedge between me and my own fucking mother.
I am 19 and a lot smarter than him (e.g. whenever we argue I always win), and more successful than him.
The other day, he was being more of a prick than usual. So I blocked him from our internet. He was being all passive-aggressive about afterwards. I have done absolutely nothing to him, otherwise.
I need advice on how to make him know his place; not to mess with me anymore. Is this just sibling rivalry, or something else? I have no intention on settling this down by talking about our issues and shit.
Compare cocks and hope yours is bigger.
But in all seriousness you can beat the ever-living shit out of him. He'll claim victory in the battle because you will get grounded and punished for kicking his ass, but every time you flex around him he'll flinch like the bitch he is. It's like training a puppy.
>>17128019
Ignore him OP. The best way to make a narcissist feel like shit is by making him feel small, and insignificant.
>>17128019
Offs you sound like a little bitch boy too. Get over yourself, Liberace.
