Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 842. page
- Home
- Board: /adv/ - Advice
- Reading: Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 842. page
Tfw I can't even find the motivation to reply to girls on tinder anymore. The whole concept of tinder dating sounds awkard and tiring for me, possibly because I'm a bit assburger or just lazy or whatever.
I still would love to get with a girl, it just sounds like the road to that through tinder is long and complex.
Perhaps clubs would be a better place for me? I'm a 22 yo virgin, pretty physically attractive but my confidence and social skills are still sometimes kinda lacking despite continuous work on them.
It would be easier with alcohol or drugs such as GBL though, I reckon.
I do have some friends but I don't know if I can go clubbing and pulling chicks with any of them. Going to clubs alone is a bad idea, right? Perhaps I could go with that one friend to wing me if he doesn't mind my drug use.
Tinder is narcissistic fuel/shallow sexually charged pursuits/cancer. The girls you meet at clubs are also shallow, vain, slutty, bitchy, etc etc. Don't meet a girl on drugs.
Get over your sex drive and find a good girl you can love and adore who shares the same interests as you. It isn't a race to lose your virginity
>>1712955
Yeah but I'm 22 and I already feel abnormal for being a virgin. Of course I'd prefer to find a nice cute gf but I wouldn't turn down any experience. And I wouldn't mind if tinder was indeed sexually charged but I can't seem to get those famous hook-ups despite getting lots of attention. Looks like most girls are interested in your conventional dating stuff which puts me off because:
- it's complex and tiring to my inner assburger
- it's extra awkard when you do it with girls you've met online.
So far I have met up with 3 girls from tinder.
First one it turns out I wasn't attracted to and she wasn't attracted to me.
Second had a cool personality and even though I fucked up the date majorly she might have still been interested in me but unfortunately I wasn't attracted to her.
Third one was cute, but due to my behaviour (lack of confidence and poor skills in talking to girls I like, at least when they're a stranger from tinder) she probably didn't like me and we didn't meet up anymore.
bump, even if you look at this board literally everyone is having sex and I'm the virgin freak at 22
How can I open up properly in relationships?
I don't know if I've read too much red pill shit, but I always fear fully opening with a woman, like, I'll always hold a bit back. I just assume that if I open up, it'll make her less attracted to me, they'll see me as clingy.
Of course, I've opened up with women in the past, but I always end up becoming reserved and distant for a bit afterwards to not appear dependent, or clingy, or whatever. Sometimes I'll go straight no contact for a day or two because I think I've fucked it.
How do you strike a balance in relationships between being open with another person, but not emotionally dependent upon them?
>>17129481
fully opening up with a woman* Please excuse the typos, etc.
Well, what do you have to lose by being open? Possibly a vain bitch. That's a win-win in my books.
every time i end up "opening up" with a woman, we end up splitting up not long after
and that wasn't even "fully opening up", most women are idiots who can't cope with knowing that their "perfect" boyfriend isn't actually perfect
I'm losing friends because of unreliability, fucking up my future and I'm losing my sanity as well because I never know how the next moment will be. Will I be looking forward to living life at its fullest, loving myself, free of worry and free of the past, or will I be crying on the floor of my bathroom, cutting myself out of self loathing and pity?
It seems impossible to live this way, medication isn't helping me, I've tried harsh discipline, inspiration, punching my head, faking it til i make it, trying to ignore it, healthy diet, exercise, etc.
I cant take it anymore, it's a living hell and I can't stand myself anymore, the fact that I can't keep with one thing, one perspective, one mindset like normal people do. No wonder they have a life, some accomplishments, a fucking stable personality they can put their finger on.
I dont know who I am, where I am and where I want to be. Always changing, always shifting.
What I create in one state, I destroy when in another.
>>17129418
You say medication doesn't help you. Who did you get that from?
>>17129418
I have bipolar, and self-awareness is god. You just need to be able to tell yourself, "I feel this way because of a mood swing", acknowledge the feeling, and then say "this isn't me, this is the mood swing, fuck off mood swing".
I mean y'know I still feel like shit most of the time and have the occasional rage-out but generally it's nice to have a social life, go on dates and actually leave my room.
But practice makes perfect man, you need to keep at it and always make sure you're not suppressing the feelings. Acknowledge that they're there, and logically move past them.
After that the next step is trying to work out what's logically real between your feelings and your mood swing when you're 3 months into a suicidal depression or when you're sprinting across train tracks 'cause you're invincible.
But keep trying bro, it gets better as we learn to manage it.
>>17129453
Psychiatrist.
I mean it does help sometimes, but I cant notice a pattern. It doesn't last. Then I'll get restless or angry at the fact that it's not working properly and I'll stop taking the meds. Will become even more emotional. After a few days I start taking it, and the moods tame again. And so forth
>>17129475
As far as I know, you can be totally normal and perhaps happy in between bipolar episodes. Is that true?
I'd rather not have self awareness, if I'm gonna suck to hell and back I may as well not be aware of how much I do suck. I'm trying to rationalize everything, be aware of it and even say 'this is not me' but then inevitably, having had these changing emotions since forever, the question will pop up 'who am i? which one of these emotions/modes?'
>when you're sprinting across train tracs 'cause you're invincible
this actually sounds nice, to have that kind of self ocnfidence and feeling of invincibility. Does it last at least a week
Are there any good substitutes for human affection? I can't tolerate sleeping with strangers and the effect of alcohol is weaker every single time.
No matter what I do, I keep desperately wanting a relationship. Being ugly and unlovable is truly and genuinely painful and the wait line to a psychiatrist is long.
All I need is a few more months of remaining functional, and the engine is coughing.
You already know alcohol is not the solution. Don't lie to yourself like a little kid.
>>17129280
With all due respect, I already stated in the OP that I know alcohol is not the solution. The fact that it's the only crutch I have that works at all is a testament to my desperation, not the claim that it is good.
I'd say max out masturbating (edging a long time etc) for the physical lust and spoon a dog for the cuddling part. It's better still if you have a friend you can non-sexually cuddle with but as a guy that's hard to come by I guess.
Having said that, if you can manage to get strangers for one night stands it seems unlikely to me that you couldn't possibly get a relationship, unless your standards are out of control... what makes you think you're so bad?
Something happened a few nights ago while she was working that she doesn't want to talk about because it makes her cry every time.
I asked her once a few days ago and she said that it's best that we don't talk for a day because she "might take this out on me". It's been a few days and no word. I texted her once to say she should look to seeing a psychologist and that I know a good one (other shits been happening and she's upset a lot) but she didn't respond to that either.
This is the fourth day, I live a ways away so if I want to see her she has to want to see me too. I don't know what to do or how to cope with this, help /adv/ please
She cheated on you
>>17129106
I don't think it's that although I thought it might've been. She's a virgin and legitimately scared of sex and the most she's ever done has been with me (I fingered her and ate her out), I don't think it's that
You should leave her alone for a while. She's trying to protect you from herself. Just send her one message saying you'll let her have her space but that you're there for her if she needs anything, but be loving and supportive.
I went through this myself, she'll come back when she'll feel better.
>Dementia runs in the family
>Grandpa has Alzheimer's
>All my mom does all day for entertainment is play one or two Facebook games
>She works a menial job
>She refuses to learn anything new or do anything besides tv or Facebook games
>Tried playing a simple board game with her the other day and she forgot the rules every turn and said it was "beyond her" when a literal 5 year old could play.
How do I convince my mom to exercise her brain so I'm not stuck babysitting a potato for a decade in 5 years and wasting my 30s? It's doubtful my father or other siblings would be much of an influence.
>>17129081
Also I love my mother and want her quality of life at the end of her life to be good as I don't want her to be a potato. I'm certain that sentence sounded quite harsh and self centered.
>>17129081
Kids have better brains than adults
Just sit down and talk with her about your concerns, maybe ask her to talk with a doctor about supplements, make sure she eats more fish, preferably Atlantic mackerel if you can find it, for its high phosphatydylserine content. Good on you for looking out for your mom. I really hope I have dementia when I go though.
>>17129081
>>Tried playing a simple board game with her the other day and she forgot the rules every turn and said it was "beyond her" when a literal 5 year old could play.
This reminds me of my mom. She had the same lack of motivation and struggled learning anything new. She even said something was "beyond her" when presented with simple tasks like using a tv remote.
Something wrong with Tinder?
Average dude here. I had tinder last year and had alot of matches. I recently reinstalled the app and I use the same pics and bio but I havent had any matches after a week. So maybe there is some sort of technical issue?
What was weird was it was set up as my own sex "female" when I reinstalled it, in the profile editor. Then I put it to my own sex as "male" and I set it up that it shows "females".
I swiped alot of girls but no luck yet, while last year I had like 20 the first day and 100 after a year.
And yes the though I am just unattractive has crossed my mind, but like I said, last year I had hundreds of matches with the same name, age, pics and bio
>>17129019
I mean last year 100 after a week* not a year
>>17129022
I mean, I can accept it and i'm fine with not being so lucky as last year.
But I have an absolute of 0 after a week so i'm really confused. I should've at least had some fat chicks or girls I accidentally superliked. At least that was my experience.
I'm honestly thinking that it's some sort of technical issue since last year everythign was entirely different. I could accept less matches, but an absolute of 0 is just almost unrealistic.
Does anyone know?
Oh great, my facebook sex was set to 'female' for some reason
could this have to do with anything?
You ever feel like you look in the mirror and look pretty decent, but look in a picture think you look ugly as hell?
How do you deal with that?
![Posing-101-with-Lindsay-Adler-1024x535[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/Dh6LWqF.png "Posing-101-with-Lindsay-Adler-1024x535[1]")
>>17128695
I hope this answers your question
>>17128702
This is so true. There's a reason telephotos are the lens of choice for portraits. I wish it weren't such a pain in the ass to take selfies with my 70-200.
>>17128695
pierced nips ftw
It's easy isn't it? To say you quit you gonna do it. But you don't is it because of the good food in this world or loving people that are trying to help you or that you can't cause you are afraid. I mean I get you, life isn't easy. Life is shit when that one girl dont want you or that no one seems to care. I get it. I get that you forgotten who made you. I get that you've forgotten those friends that you loved playing with at the playground. Maybe cause of all those years that has past. But I tell you that you've gotten addicted, drowned in solitude, in yourself. Blaming yourself all the time wont change anything, fuck we all do mistakes. Yeah its emberrasing but hey that dosent mean to stop living, Life can change by just a snap of your finger, change a little and hey you got rich all of the sudden or got that girl. Its wierd I know but do you think that being born here by those who love you to just end it now. Sounds like a lame story to me, one that will be forgotten quickly. So try, fail, try, fail and try again. cause fuck it whats the worst that can happen right? make your story an intresting one, so later on it would be a good story for you grandchildren or children. Stay strong anon.
I can't try, I will never break out of this vicious cycle of laziness and depression.
Perhaps it's how I was raised, maybe I was spoiled too much. But I wouldn't dare to blame my parents, because in the end it's my choices that made me who I am.
Maybe I'm retarded, maybe I'm autistic, maybe I have ADD, maybe I have anxiety problem. It doesn't matter, nothing changes even if I find out why this is happening since I will only use it as an excuse to run away from things.
I'm sick and tired of running away from things. But even if I start facing my reality, there are so many things I've been neglecting that I wouldn't know where to start.
It's too late for me.
Maybe that's an excuse to not try.
In the end, it really doesn't matter. I probably will keep doing what I've always been doing. Today, tomorrow, next year, until the day I eventually starve or kill myself.
I'm so sorry
>>17129913
I feel you anon.
I just got a letter from the faculty of my university that basically says that I'm going to be expelled, it's not a surprise though since I'm a fucking failure.
I'm just waiting for something to happen and somehow die, I'd to commit suicide but I can't do that to my mom.
So I' sorry too.
>>17128520
thanks for the post OP, I didn't expect it comes from here
As a twenty year old college student who has never smoked nor drank any alcohol, would you say smoking is something I should avoid? pic unrelated
>>17128490
No. You're not missing out on anything, and you'll thank yourself later when you have money. Every smoker I know never has money, especially if they're the 2+ packs a day people. Drinking can be okay, if you're with good friends, but pay attention to your limit. A light buzz isn't bad, but don't get shitfaced. It's not fun.
>>17128509
Thanks. Alcohol doesn't interest me since I've seen how alcoholics seemed to make a fool of themselves every time. I've just been thinking about trying out smoking for the 1st time but I guess I should avoid it.
Avoid smoking. It's not worth the health complications down the line.
Drinking..keep it to a minimum. But it's better not to start up a habit. Some people have addictive personalities and it's hard to stop.
I need an extremely harsh way to dump my literal covert narcissist boyfriend. All he does is mooch off of me and project his shit on me. I was very lonely when I met him and I made a poor decision, he seemed like a decent guy even though a bit of a goof (manchild), but he's just a piece of shit. The only time he has ever shown me respect is when I confronted him and told him I'd leave him. I walk on egg shells all damn day and I do my best to just lock myself up in my studio and 'work' on art just so I can avoid him.
Pic very fucking related.
simply tell him that you don't love him and want him out of your life. what's so hard about that?
>>17128402
Too quick, too painless. This needs to be slow and ugly, just like all of the times I've had to deal with him.
>>17128387
>(manchild),
how old is he?
I can't live with the crippling regret of wasting the last 6 years of my life
My late teens are early twenties may as well have not happened. I had a shitty high school experience, and a mediocre college experience. This was supposed to be "the best time of my life."
It has taken me 6 years to just barely get a worthless degree in a field I don't want to be in. During my time in college, I made/had no friends, no girls, not connections/networking, and no experiences. If I wasn't in class or at my degree's society club, I was sitting alone in my apartment doing absolutely nothing worthwhile.
I keep reflecting at my life and thinking, "is this really it" when will my life begin.
>>17128344
High school is not the best time of your life. Best time is 28-38. Money, decent-looking ladies, and stability. You got time, OP.
Well what are you going to do about it? Mope around some more or grow a pair? Life's largely what you make it.
You can either sit and regret everything and have your life stagnate, or you can realise that the past is the past and move on
Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.
FAQ:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><random insecurity>
Some do, some don't. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever. It takes hard work, time, and effort.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
> <excuse as to why you can't ask them out>
Shut up
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out. This is something that cannot be explained. You either have learned to intuit this or you have not. If you have not, the only way to learn is experience--there are no shortcuts. So it comes back to: Just ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online. Don't complain that this isn't helpful; stupid questions deserve answers like this.
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.
>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
We're not in their head, we don't fucking know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>Brandon, that one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships and fart guy
Fuck off
Girls, if a guy looks good and isn't an autist is it still creepy for him to ask for your number?
Who performed the first rimjob - a man, or a woman?
>>17128126
t. autist
>be me
>kissless virgin
>average income
>no friends
>go to a mall in the rich part my city
>everyone there is pretty
>girls dressed like they're at a nightclub or something
feel shitty inside
how do i get friends, get more money and get a model girlfriend? or at least a qt3.14 gf
>>17127317
For starters you need to ditch the "qt3.14" expression
First of all, don't feel shitty for the fact that there be pretty girls. Whenever I see pretty girls I get really happy. If I'm not standing out in a crowd, it means I'm most likely invisible, so no harm. Being invisible isn't always bad for starters.
lose weight you fat fuck
There's this guy who's definitely my type, but he's a total asshole and very bitter + cynical. He's also a virgin. How do I seduce him?
>>17127189
>How do I seduce him?
No need for that. Just ask.
>>17127189
>but he's a total asshole and very bitter + cynical. He's also a virgin.
You're asking how to seduce a robot?
You don't.
He'll think it's just a cruel joke bein' played on him and he'll avoid you.
Guys like this are like this for a reason... maybe they've been called creepy too many times or friendzoned.
Realised they'll only ever be a friend, while Mr already-has-a-wife-and-beats-her gets the girl again.
Guys like this soon realise they are worse than guys like that and give up + stop tryin'.
They'll never make a move, and they'll never believe it when you make a move.
Unless you're willing to spend a long time gradually knocking his walls down and slowly building his confidence up as a friend first, then spending months tryin' to get him to fall for you (when he knows better than to fall for anyone), it really isn't worth it.
Move on and fuck Chad, like normal girls do.
>>17127189
black mail him.
![male_female_night[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/SO5L8wM.jpg "male female night[1]")
