Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 758. page
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How do you know if you're gay or straight if you can't ever get it up?
You don't determine sexuality through erections...
>>17159136
My life's a lie.
you might be bisessual
I need some help. I'm sick of living pay check to paycheck. I want to go help other humans in need in some third world country. Problem is that all the ones I've found cost at least $2k for a month or more. I just want to help people in a less fortunate country, is there a way to do this without paying? I don't have that kind of money laying around. This isn't an impulsive decision I've been thinking about it for many years, so please don't try to convince me not to do it.
>>17158413
do you have to pay to do habitat of humanity? there are plenty of places that dont cost a thing, but they arent glamorous.
>>17158413
Can't wait for dat new gorillaz, kid.
>>17158445
I'm not sure but they, like Peace Corps are looking for people with college degrees.
How the fuck is it normal to choose a college major that will determine the trajectory of your life without knowing how you would fair in such an environment? I'm getting great grades in community college but I'm changing classes every semester because all I have to go from is my imagination and naive notions.
Counselors haven't been helpful. They seem to push agendas or try to tell me to pick the "best" major without helping me find a good choice for me.
>>17158377
>How the fuck is it normal to choose a college major that will determine the trajectory of your life without knowing how you would fair in such an environment?
It's not, unless you're following meme degrees. What's normal is to study a subject that you already have some interest in, and done a little reading on. In this situation, the "risk" is drastically reduced.
>I'm getting great grades in community college but I'm changing classes every semester because all I have to go from is my imagination and naive notions.
I don't understand. Why is this causing you to keep switching?
>Counselors haven't been helpful. They seem to push agendas or try to tell me to pick the "best" major without helping me find a good choice for me.
Yeah, they'll do that. I'm sorry to hear that it's happening to you. But I still don't understand how this came up as an issue.
>>17158377
the world is unfortunately flawed. generally speaking in the first two years of college you are supposed to get your Gen ed out of the way, look into degree options, take classes from the ones that interest you, then proceed to spend your bachelor years working towards that.
its still hella flawed. but thats the way life is at the moment. you can do a more general exploration by working at and interning at all the fields that interest you.
>>17158419
I don't understand what you aren't understanding. I'm indecisive because when I decide on something I usually build up expectations to motivate myself, always to be torn down later once I've put in a fair amount of study and realize how dull the acedemia is once you pass surface level. When I realize that I've been working hard towards goals that I have no real incentive besides money, I become unhappy and feel compelled to make a change, continuing in a cycle.
"Mark your calendars. Sept. 25th 2016, will be a significant date in our history." Saw this on fb. Can I report this nigger to the police?
he's finally gonna drop his mixtape
it's probably just some stupid Jesus stuff. one of the more notable Catholic gospels will be shared that day.
Jesus said to the Pharisees:
“There was a rich man who dressed in purple garments and fine linen
and dined sumptuously each day.
And lying at his door was a poor man named Lazarus, covered with sores,
who would gladly have eaten his fill of the scraps
that fell from the rich man's table.
Dogs even used to come and lick his sores.
When the poor man died,
he was carried away by angels to the bosom of Abraham.
The rich man also died and was buried,
and from the netherworld, where he was in torment,
he raised his eyes and saw Abraham far off
and Lazarus at his side.
And he cried out, 'Father Abraham, have pity on me.
Send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue,
for I am suffering torment in these flames.'
Abraham replied,
‘My child, remember that you received
what was good during your lifetime
while Lazarus likewise received what was bad;
but now he is comforted here, whereas you are tormented.
Moreover, between us and you a great chasm is established
to prevent anyone from crossing who might wish to go
from our side to yours or from your side to ours.’
He said, ‘Then I beg you, father,
send him to my father’s house, for I have five brothers,
so that he may warn them,
lest they too come to this place of torment.'
But Abraham replied, ‘They have Moses and the prophets.
Let them listen to them.’
He said, ‘Oh no, father Abraham,
but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.’
Then Abraham said, ‘If they will not listen to Moses and the prophets,
neither will they be persuaded if someone should rise from the dead.’”
none of significance, it's just a bunch of hokey pokey.
>>17158295
A nigger releasing a mixtape? It'd be a significant in history date if he didn't
Hey guys,
So I'm ina relationship going on a year and a half now and have no idea what to do. I tried to break up with her not too long ago. She's amazing in so many ways, and also impossible in others. We have the same basic interests but so many fundamental differences that go along with that.
She's my best friend and I don't want to lose her. she's also too much sometimes and I have begun to really think I need to do more work on myself before I'm in something so serious.
Another thing is that I'm only 22. About to finish school and im jus tthinking I don't want to be restricted in anyway at such a formative period in my life.
Something happened not too long ago while we were kind of broken up and I ended up sleeping with two of my female friends. Felt guilty about this but chalked it up to drunkeness and didnt tell her. Now were taking it slow, I got drunk again, fucked a friend. My friend is in agreement with me that it was just meaningless but that doesn't stop me from feeling like filth.
I guess I'm just looking for ideas here. Give me a spark to run with. Anything at this point. I'm lost and have no idea what to do.
break up with her?
just becuase you get along with someone sometimes doesn't mean you are obligated to stay with them forever. its okay to enrich each others lives for a little while.
you cant realistically marry your high school sweet heart. college sweet heart isn't much better.
its okay to be single. its okay to move on. its okay to say 'this isn't what i want anymore'. you are not a bad person for simply experiencing life.
honestly even if you were it'd be MORE shitty to stay with someone you really dont want to be with.
break up bro.
>>17158258
Get your shit together before attempting to share your life with someone else.
Same goes probably for her too.
Your relationship is beyond repair. The advice is only for future reference.
>>17158258
>I tried to break up with her
What does that even mean? How do you try to break up with someone and fail?
How do I control my sex drive? This is the first girlfriend I have ever had and I can't seem to control my sex drive with her. We literally have sex everyday multiple times a day, it makes my dick sore but I can't seem to stop it also makes her sore too. It effects my work because I am always worn out from it all though I am not nearly as stressed out. Ive also pretty much gotten addicted to going inside of her raw, she takes the pill everyday but I just can't seem to pullout anymore.
Any advice please because it really does drain me and seems to be a problem. Its been going on for a couple of months now. (Yes this is serious im not trying to brag)
Bumpo
>>17158254
I remember when I was 16. Take it down a notch really. You're creating a necessity to do so. So you have to wean yourself slightly to find the right balance. Or fap more. Either way sounds like a good problem to have
Bump again.
Guys I need your take on this. TL;DR Girl is playing mind games.
I regularly hang out with people from my class.
Last week I was hanging out with some of them in a pub. I usually chat with all of them, but theres this one female that I have been eyeing for a while. We talk without any problems and the conversations seem to be more flirty than just friendly. However I don't usually start this, she does. We don't really have any history with each other. She asked me once if I wouldn't like to go somewhere with her and I said yes, but nothing came out of it.
I must mention that she is sought after by many males. During the past few weeks, she has been flirting very directly with one of my acquintances from school. Recently, our mutual friend posted a photo of them on facebook with a caption of something like this: "Congrats for being together for six years!".
However I overheard the mutual friend once saying that they werent actually together for six years.
This all would be fine, the problem is that during one of the recent class meet up sessions this girl actually tried talking to me again, even following me around as I chatted up different groups of people, and even went as far as taking a photo with my, grabbing my hand and biting my fingers and even touching my crotch.
This boyfriend of hers was there too and he saw how she followed me around. I tried to kinda keep my distance from her but she always came back. He left early, and she escorted him outside while holding his arm. Then she came back 5 minutes later. Note that the finger biting and grabbing my crotch happened after he left.
Im not sure what to think really. First she was hot and cold, later she seemed like she was trying to make me jealous by overtly flirting with this guy in front of me and now this. She barely even talks with the guy in school. The problem now is that this guy is trying to one up me in school when I meet him in the hallway.
DESU Im just trying to figure out what shes after.
>>17158231
>TL;DR Girl is playing mind games.
>Im just trying to figure out what shes after.
Doesn't matter what she's after. She's playing with you, move on.
>>17158243
this
>>17158231
these don't seem like very deep mindgames.
we can assume he isn't completely happy with the bf/relationship she's in.
we can guess/hope that there might be some real kind of chemistry between her and OP
in all likelyhood she doesn't know what she's after. young people in long relationships have often broken up several times and then they get back together and that staying together inertia can get really fucked up. also sometimes people just fall out of love but the person who has been part of their life for a long time is still someone whose friendship and support they cherish/want so they aren't sure what to do. they want to get dick elsewhere but they don't want to hurt a close friend (the bf) and there's no way to do both.
OP, i think your best bet is to talk to a third party who you think might have some insight. its ok to tell someone "i'm into this girl but i keep hearing she's with this guy... etc etc" and find out what someone who knows her better can tell you. this seems like it should be possible bc you share a large group of social acquaintances
>>17158243
this is stupid, we console people all the time that are this girl and who are tired of their shitty SO but can't figure out how to break up, no reason from what he's said so far to assume she's some kind of psycho-bitch who fucks with him just to fuck with him
hey /adv/
interview w/int'l company on skype
already researched clothing customs of said company and country location, same as USA
so /adv/ business formal, business casual, dressy casual?
pic related, me w/three examples
fyi wife says jacket, kids say tie only
Your wife has shit taste because that jacket makes you look fatter and it's overwhelming. Listen to the kids and go with the second or third option.
the blazer makes you look like a bit of a cunt while the shirt and tie makes you look like a right nutty geezer
go shirt and tie
>>17158156
The tie looks good. Fuck the jacket.
Iron that shirt again too
hi /adv/ me and my wife have been married for 6 years now and i can go on with a really long list of amazing things we've done together but that's not what i came here for
the thing is, most of our family from both of our sides, including some of our friends and neighbors kept insisting for us to have at least one or two kids for our marriage
both of us decided to not have any kids at all, because truthfully we both don't like babies or kids nor do we think we both would make good parents
i usually brush off any kind of pressure from the others but lately people who are close to us kept threatening my wife on how not having kids will make her get breast or cervical cancer thingy and it made her really depressed
so what do you honestly think? is it really that big of a deal to decide not to have any kids?
>>17158149
NO. Don't let someone force you into doing something you don't want. If you don't want kids, don't have them.
Make up a lie about how you're sterile or something, and you can't have kids. Maybe then people will stop pestering you. Hang in there, OP.
If you don't want kids for fucks sake please don't have kids. You will ruin their lives and probably get divorced because of them, they will grow up disliking you etc. And don't lie about it to your family/friends. Stand up for your decision to not have kids, fuck their opinions.
>>17158159
does telling people that i'm sterile really work though? i don't really want to start a rumor
>>17158168
that's exactly what we thought, it's just that it's been really hard for my wife lately
I want to apply to a boat building school in my area. The program is a year long, and costs 30 grand. I'm 25 with no debt or savings. Will it be worth it? I've never cared much about living standards or quality of life, I just do what I like. I've been a sailor for 12 years and right now I build beer breweries in a metal fab shop, so I figure I have enough experience with both my hands and around boats for this to be a good fit for me. I am just worried about paying off this debt if I went through with it, 30 grand would take me a long time. I've never had more than 5 grand at any one time
>>17158123
WHAT I LEARNED IN BOATING SCHOOL IS
Boats are gay.
Lift weights.
>>17158123
What if you don't like it? That's a lot of money to gamble on a career with.
I am lazy. I don't want to work. I don't want to play video games, watch anime, read books, draw, or even ever go outside. I want to stop existing. If I don't kill myself I'll just be a burden on my parents until they die. Help me kill myself /adv/.
>>17158106
if you wanted to kill yourself you'd just do it. even if you couldnt figure it out, you'd just google 'easiest ways to kill myself'.
if i had to guess i could give you the easiest most fool proof way to die (jump off the tallest building) and you'd still rationalize it with 'I ONCE HEARD OF A GUY WHO FELL OFF OF A MUCH SMALLER BUILDING AND SURVIVED PARALYZED ID NEVER WANT THAT TO HAPPEN'
thus indicating that you dont actually want to die. this is why you reached out to people instead of a robot. you want to live. you want a different life. you just dont want the life you have now.
>>17158106
Take knife and slit your throat.
>b-but that'll hurt!
Then you don't really want to die.
Nothing we can say will control your finger and pull the trigger for you. Even if you've resolved to never do anything again, you still have to put in effort to kill yourself.
Hey, /adv/. Just wanted to thank you guys.
I was on here a few weeks ago. Told you all that I got my M.S. in Physics, and that I had applied for more than 200 jobs with no luck. Followed your advice and got a job within two weeks. You guys are the best.
Do you guys have any tips for my first day?
>>17158081
what advice did we give? im curious.
that being said
>dress nice
>show up at least a half hour
>strong handshakes
>seem excited
>try to segue into really short personal conversations to connect with people
>if you work 'above' anyone, make a good first impression and make it seem more like you are co workers.
>ask questions anytime you are confused better safe than sorry
Knock out the biggest and baddest dude there or you'll become someone's bitch
>>17158091
To tailor a new resume for every location I apply to.
Plus some interview tips.
>months ago a manager talks to me and says that there was a payroll problem
>I wasn't given the raise everyone else was given and I was the only one excluded
>other manager who handles payroll was present and didnt say anything
>fast forward months later and a sympathetic assistant manager tells me the payroll issue wasnt taken care of and that I should check my paystubs
>implies that they're deliberately taking advantage of me due to being quiet or that there is some kind of personal dislike due to being a quiet awkward guy
>payroll person acknowledges the issue once again but doesnt raise my rate to the same as everyone else's and doesnt give me retroactive back pay as I was promised by the head manager who was present at the first meeting
>was only alerted to the issue by other staff members who are no longer there
>bring up the issue more forcefully this time indicating I could call the labour board and then e-mail the payroll manager
>starts avoiding me suddenly and cant get ahold of her at work
>dont see her for a week or two at work
>e-mail her detailing the exact nature of the payroll problem
>receive no response which may be a way of covering her ass so as not to admit to it in writing , I dont know
>a week later I go into the office on a day off and she seems nervous and spontaneously tells me that its being addressed
>tell her that I cant take her word in good faith and that she merely verbally told me she would do it while ignoring my detailed email which seemed suspicious
>tell the manager that I wont come in until I receive my retroactive pay, have my rate raised to the same as everyone else's and have the overtime I was deliberately not given and for which I have documentary proof detailing that I did work the overtime (in total I made $170 dollars that day and it wasnt recorded when I was told it would be)
>>17158062
its unreasonable. You should contact authorities
You can sue for that shit
Seriously, press charges, get coworkers on your side, make bank.
TL;DR - Scammed on payroll and its almost certain it was deliberate as an assistant manager told me it was targeted and not accidental due to them thinking I was passive and would roll over - also an element of dislike was part of it.
So I told them I wasnt coming back to work until I had my retroactive backpay.
Months ago another manager brought it up and informed me I should check my payroll stubs implying there was some malfeasance and I should be vigilant. Payroll manager was there during the meeting and just sat there stony faced.
Those were the only times I was ever told about it.. The payroll manager brought it up once and then did nothing about a month ago.
I was promised twice it would be fixed and it wasnt. Brought it up in person more forcefully and said I could take action with the labour board. Began to avoid me very obviously when I was at work so I couldnt have a chance to talk to her. Sent her an e-mail detailing the payroll issue and received no reply for a week, so I went to her office on one of my days off and she was very nervous and conciliatory and verbally promised me it would be fixed.
I told her over the past few months I was told more than once that it would be fixed and it never was.
She had a chance to respond to the issue in writing and never did, instead choosing to verbally tell me she would do it which struck me as an attempt not to admit to any wrong doing in writing for reasons that cast doubt on her honesty.
Why is the first step is always the hardest?
How do i get over the first step hump?
Super long story short.
I forced myself into that situation. I forced myself as hard as motherfucker.
Yeah there were some stumbles along the way but, I did it.
And now I have to start all over again. Fuck my life.
>>17157918
I've only ever found two ways over the hump that work for me: force and trickery. The first involves me dragging myself kicking and screaming (internally) over the hump. The second involves arranging events so that there is no option but to get to the other side of the hump as quickly as possible. Neither of these is reliable, but the fact that they work at all puts them leagues over anything else I'm aware of.
I'm not proud of this. Quite the opposite: I feel deep shame over the rank childishness of my inner monologue. I wish I could just Do Things the way normal people do, without having to fight these protracted and ridiculous battles with myself. But I have never figured out how, and no one has been able (or willing) to tell me.
>>17158004
literally me
but I've been failing for the last half of a yea or so
once I trick myself into doing it I actually get into whatever I was supposed to do, and do a good job
then I realize that it literally took 3 times more time to get myself to start than to actually finish the job
it's retarded and so horribly inefficient jesus christ
So, here´s the thing /adv/
>I´m a Law student in a shity country
>Some friends, no so bad grades, etc.
>Shit happens and my family gonna move (mum & lil´sisters)
>They´re moving to New Zealand and for some reason they told me to go with them
>I accepted ´cause my mother pays most of my shit. Friends are supportive of this.
>I started searching universities there, but i´m getting real frustrated here, ´cause the academyc requisites, grades no bad, but no good either.
>The language its another problem, my english its shit & i lack a certificade.
Please help me /adv/, any advice or help in the matter would be greatly appreciated i think we´re going to Wellington btw.
>>17157917
I don't know if they have community college where you're going but I'd suggest spending at least a year in one to improve your English and get comfortable in a Western country.
You can do the prerequisites for a real university there and it'll save you money. Also enjoy leaving a shitty country.
>>17157917
I'm from NZ, I can try to answer some questions if you're still around.
>>17158443
Really? i´d be a great help, im pretty much in nothing right now
